Prague trip part 3: Goldfingers strip club.
Final part and this is the highlight.
[B]Intro[/B]
Entrance was indeed free, but I left slightly over 6200 Kc poorer by my tally, including the remaining coins in my pocket that I threw into the coat-check tip jar afterwards. Not saying it to brag in any way though. Like all strip clubs, it's easy to spend way more than you were initially planning to. I could probably have had nearly the same hours-long experience for only 2000 Kc if I'd planned it differently.
Strange and as vague as it may sound, in the end I do feel like I made some investments which broadened my sub-cultural understanding. That being said, at times this place did do its damnedest to try and needlessly take the amazement out of it. One aspect of which I'll get to later.
[B]First impressions[/B]
The entrance is a facade and you go through a hallway shared with some casino along the way. But you finally get to the club itself and open the door to the stairs going down. Lots of fancy large portraits of girls on the wall giving it a classy look. Thankfully it's not actually that pretentious.
The first floor you land on is actually the balcony. There are seats lining it to give you a view of the stage below. You can order from the bar yourself, but a waitress also comes around to ask you for your order.
I got there relatively early in the evening on the weekend, but there were already lots of hot strippers walking around. There was a good amount of guests too, but it wasn't too crowded yet. I got the impression that most of the girls were on the stage floor below, but they're all easy to find in any case.
But I mainly had eyes for a certain kind they seemed to have a lot of. Or maybe it was fetish night. Hot strippers with lots of cool full body tattoos, knee high boots, gothy looks or fetish piercings. But if that's not your thing, they still had lots of uninked and unpierced girls too. They also had a few who claimed to be from places like more tropical countries, looked the part, were friendly, chatty, and with convincing enough details that they were really from there.
[B]There ain't no such thing as a free lunch[/B]
I still don't know exactly how the system works there to deter freeloading lookie-loos. Obviously, they expect you to buy drinks or spend in other ways. But they don't exactly kick people out either the moment the empty bottle is taken away without a replacement order.
But I didn't see people without drinks at the balcony seats for very long. There are tables with a close-up view downstairs, but apparently you have to pay 500 Kc and even 1000 Kc for those. The further back from the stage, the harder it becomes to really get a good view of the strip show once it becomes more crowded. Maybe they hope you'll get bored of not seeing anything good and leave if you're not spending.
Still, the best deal wasn't exactly prominently advertised. At the coat check, you could buy some kind of beer card for 500 Kc, which I believe entitled you to five beers. It's supposedly not shareable, and I didn't feel like drinking that much myself, but in retrospect it could have saved me some grief if not about 150 Kc.
You can see all the drink and dance prices online for yourself. Beer is 200 Kc or 250 Kc, so the card can quickly be worth it if you plan on staying there a while. Or perhaps you could just pay 500 Kc for a table near the stage if you felt like it. Maybe.
[B]The strip show[/B]
So this place blows all the other strip clubs I've ever been to completely out of the water. Maybe it's not that fancy to some more experienced travelers, but for free entry, it's pretty damned impressive. And I'd gone to Hot Peppers here in Prague first, which also had free entry, did a quick tour of the place, and then left wondering what the hell actually drew such a large crowd there in the first place.
There were well choreographed dance numbers with hand props and costumes, a huge video wall, a professional-looking DJ set-up, jet streams of dry ice, multiple girls at once stripping down to show off all the good parts. One girl doing a hot wax and dildo show, two dildos rather, alternating between deep throat one and then sticking both into her pussy. There were even some acrobatic dancers who you just had to be awed by.
If you had some of the tipping dollars that apparently came with the VIP seats, you could lie down on stage with them between your teeth, and the dancer could retrieve them from you. Usually in the sexiest way possible.
But I heard from an enthusiastic local that the shows aren't always this good. I suppose it makes sense that they save the good stuff for the weekend.
[B]The crazy show[/B]
It says autoerotic live show on the web site, but that's what it really should be called. I was told to stick around for it, and damned good advice. But first one important thing. Once the place gets more crowded, it doesn't seem like the waitress or even waitresses come around often enough anymore. And if you have a good seat at the balcony, it'd be the worst time to lose it by fetching something yourself and hoping a stranger can save your seat for you. I'd already done it once successfully earlier on to use the restroom, but didn't want to push my luck for the show I'd been waiting for.
And apparently you need to have a drink in hand when it starts, or the waitress will come around at the worst possible moment to start needling you that you've got to buy one right now, even if you've already pumped a small fortune into the establishment. But I suppose she wouldn't know. I'm thinking that's where the beer card could have come in handy. Anyway. Calm blue ocean.
So now that you can enjoy the show, let me explain. They had two different yet somewhat similar shows. One at midnight and then three in the morning. Out on stage was the same headliner of both shows, along with her two minions. Cool stage props, and a backdrop of other costumed performers. Fetish to the max, good production value. And pay very close attention to her tongue. It's real.
You can look up the details online yourself, since I'm not sure I should drag in stage and show names. But it's hard to convey just how completely tame the video previews are compared to the reality of it. It's a true fetish gear lesbian show. Kissing, strap-on sex, even eating each other out centipede style, no holes barred, to twist a phrase. Spit-dripping with gloved fingering and vaginal fisting. All of it real, and the performers loving all of it.
Guess which single performer all of my private dances were with.
[B]Private dances[/B]
The dance numbers on stage seemed rather long. So I'm not entirely sure how private dances were timed exactly, but every once in a while they get all the girls onto the stage, maybe about 20 some-odd of them, and announce that it's double time for private dances before setting them loose.
The dances are also rather pricey, again you can check online, but they start at 1500 Kc for a private lap dance in the back room. You can touch everywhere except the pussy (and I assume use common sense). No licking or kissing anywhere either. At least those were the additional rules explained to me ahead of time.
I don't know what they're normally like, because besides the lap dance part, there was a lot of fetish-appeal and a little erotic asphyxiation thrown in for free. I just hope I don't start needing to get off that way forever now.
There's also this autoerotic show listed for 3000 Kc. I'm not totally sure about it. I think it's just a dildo show and it's supposed to last twice as long, but probably doesn't stack with double time. But maybe it's different depending on the performer. I didn't take a survey.
You also need to become an expert at quickly but politely turning down offers for private dances. It doesn't start bad, but as the night goes on it practically never stops. I have an A+ rating now. It might not be so bad a thing, since most girls are flirty enough so it's tempting. But then again, it'd be nice to be left alone for a minute or two after you've literally just had one so you can let the experience sink in a bit after.
[B]Final thoughts[/B]
If you feel like spending some money, and you have to choose between this or ShowPark, choose this, even though you're not going to get laid. I'd go back there for sure in the future.