Chiang Mai

Has anyone stayed at the Britannia? They say it's a 15 minute walk from the night market.

Any other suggestions for a nice room that is guest friendly in the 600 bht range that is close to the action.

Thanks

[QUOTE=Timps]Has anyone stayed at the Britannia? They say it's a 15 minute walk from the night market.

Any other suggestions for a nice room that is guest friendly in the 600 bht range that is close to the action.

Thanks[/QUOTE]Nowhere on their website do they give an address or location map. What's up with that? Place looks clean though.

[url]http://www.thebritannia-chiangmai.com[/url]

[QUOTE=Timps]Has anyone stayed at the Britannia? They say it's a 15 minute walk from the night market.

Any other suggestions for a nice room that is guest friendly in the 600 bht range that is close to the action.[/QUOTE]Here is the location for Britannia, its in the backpacker area, stay away if you ask me. Check out this map: [url]http://www.chiangmaiplan.com/maps/chiang_mai_old_town_map.htm[/url], No 13 is Britannia.

Just come over and take a look around before you commit yourself, or book one night first and then have a look around.

i am fairly new at this, and i have certainly taken advantage of other members' experience on this forum, so i feel i have to contribute.

unlike bkk, there are not a lot of posts on cm, but my main reason for coming up here was too see more of thailand. however, if there were some good opportunties i did not want to pass them by.

i booked a room for three nights at the royal princess hotel, right in the middle of the night market. it was not my first choice, but other were all booked up (chinese new years, i suppose). the lobby looked fine, but when i got to the room. dark room, no view, worn and in need of refurbishment. the bathtub/shower has about six layers of grout and caulking trying to keep the water were it belong. the sink is cracked. the paint has been "repaired" where it was peeling or damaged, but the new spots don't match the old. there is no clock in the room. the electrical adaptor keeps falling out of the socket. a few minutes ago, a cockroach launched an attack across the desk! damages: $80 us + $17 for internet connection.

i just came from bkk where at stayed at the adelphi suites for a nice new room, view, etc. , and free internet for less than this dive.

advice: avoid royal princess hotel

went to foxy lady, which has been mentioned here before. only three girls "dancing" on stage; so-so looks (but hey, we can't always have stunners! ) i say "dancing" but they made the bangkok shuffle look like riverdance! very lame, no smiles, no eye contact.

eventually a girl came up to me unsolicitated and sat down. a drink, the normal conversation, and eventual barfine (b500) and st fee (b1500). limited english, but we managed. back at hotel she wanted a bath and i proceeded to fill the tub with very brown water. (another nice touch, royal princess). very mechanical bedroom performance. great disappointment. we finished and i was ready for her to leave. she wanted an extra b500 for bj (covered! ). i told her no way and sent her off. but yes, i still wound up overpaying for the level of service i received.

advice: ymmv

tonight, i had done my research and went to sayuri massage parlor. you walk in, go upstairs and sit in front of a large fishbowl with perhaps 40 or 50 girls. i have a drink, and go talk to the papasan. he tells me b2500. i laugh at him and tell him i have read the internet and others have been here before me. we finally arrive at b2000, and i feel like i am getting ripped. but i am here, and don't want to miss the potential for the experience of a lifetime!

i choose #45, attractive, but no stunner (which seldom appeal to me anyway). she escorts me down a dark, narrow hallway to the room. the room has a very low doorway, and the room itself is very cave-like. she is 26, and i find out her name is mia (i think). basically no english. also, no smile, no "kob koon ka", no wai, no eye contact. dead. i am not feeling real good about this so far.

she turns on the tv so she can watch thai cartoons (i am not making this stuff up! ) fills the bathtub with brown water (notice a trend here? ). i get into the small tub and she undresses and joins me. reasonably nice body. but again, no eye contact, no "hansum man", no pointing and saying "oh, you big man! ", etc. what the hell do i go to thailand for if not that part of the show!

i tried to get a little playful, but she pushed me off. washed me by the numbers. she clearly gave the impression that she wasn't having any fun. nor, for that matter was i. did i mention that the room was like a cave? well it had the temperature of a wine celler also.

she finished in the tub and she got the air mattress out and directed me onto it. christ it was cold! i guess the ac had been blowing directly on it. i asked to warm it with hot water and she acted like that was a great inconvenience to her. the old slip-n-slide consisted of lots of bubbles, and her bouncing up and down on me with her butt. (stay with me guys, it get worse! )

back into the tub for a rinse in the nice, fresh brown water. dry off and onto the bed. the sheet had a great big stain in the middle of it, in the shape of a horseshoe. i can only hope that some horse stepped on it just before i got there!

she starts playing with the little feller, but in spite of the cialis, there is not alot happening down there. (i have used cialis for the past week, so i know it works! ) i try fondling her a bit, but she doesn't allow very much. using universal sign language, i tell her i would like a bj. eventually she agrees, but only covered. another thai-style "mini-condom, " and she performs a minimal effort bj.

finally, junior is at least semi-ready for action. the only position she will allow is mish. she lubes up and we dive in. well. , not exactly. lots of wincing, groans, and obvious displeasure. she goes absolutely motionless when i am on top of her. i mean, perfectly still, perfectly quiet. except for the thai cartoons, of course. i check her pulse and respirations and clinically, she is still alive. (thank god! )

this is just not working. i go to massage parlors for the sensual adventure, the new, the daring (see my report on tulips in bangkok massage parlors). i could have more fun staying in hotel jerking off to old reruns of mary tyler moore!

finally, i had had it. i pull out, take off the condom, and drop it on the bed. i express my anger and even though she cannot understand what i say, she gets the message. i get dressed and she get up and rinses off in the tub. i do not wait for her to finish and i head for the door by myself. i open the door and immediately whack my head on the low doorway. i crumple to my knees, grasp my head, and bend over motionless for 20 or 30 seconds. no blood. she say "you ok? , you ok? ", which is the most emotion or excitement i got from her in the previous 30-45 minutes.

i leave her behind in the room and she can reroll and reuse the condom, so the evening did not cost her. i stagger back up stairs and express my anger and disappointment to the papasan who could have cared less. taxi back to hotel and dinner and beer.

no tip obviously, and i have never done that before in thailand. i have been to 5 or 6 different venues in bkk in the past 3 years, some multiply times, and have always gotten at least "ok" service, and left at least a minimal tip. i was at tulip and annie's this past week and the experience was wonderful both times.

i blame my experience mostly on sayuri, and there apparent total lack of training or for having any "company standards" for customer service. i, obviously, will never go back there again.

tomorrow will be better; i am going for an elephant ride, so at least i will be on top of something that moves.

it's more fun writing up the great experiences, but the bad ones need to be communicated also, and hopefully prevent repeats of them for others.

tom

[size=-2][b][u]editor's note[/u]:[/b] [blue]i would suggest that the author or another forum member consider posting a link to this report in the reports of distinction thread. please [url=http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php?]click here[/url] for more information.[/blue][/size]

Tom,

Would help you greatly to read the reviews here. Sayuri is like a Factory, a lot of people and a lot of Thai Guys (the main Market).

Go to Pandora, it's much better, and cheaper. Price at Sayuri for BGirl (Slide you had) is 1250, at Pandora, reg Girl is 1400 and model (well, just young let's say) 2500.

Have fun

Okay, the elephant remark really cracks me up!! Unfortunately for you it's reality but hey, you're still in Thailand and I'm sure you will be waiting for your next Tulips experience!

[QUOTE=Tall Tom]
Tomorrow will be better; I am going for an elephant ride, so at least I will be on top of something that moves.

It's more fun writing up the great experiences, but the bad ones need to be communicated also, and hopefully prevent repeats of them for others.

Tom

[size=-2][b][u]EDITOR'S NOTE[/u]:[/b] [blue]I would suggest that the author or another Forum Member consider posting a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please [url=http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php?]Click Here[/url] for more information.[/blue][/size][/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Tall Tom]It's more fun writing up the great experiences, but the bad ones need to be communicated also, and hopefully prevent repeats of them for others.

Tom[/QUOTE]Yeah, Chiang Mai in general can be very much hit n' miss. Last few times I visited Sayuri I left without picking a gal. I haven't seen anything worthy there in awhile. The other problem with MPs is you pick a gal from the fishbowl on the assumption there will be a mutual connection but sometimes end up with a dead fish. Speaking some thai helps break the ice but only goes so far.

After your elephant ride, I suggest get an oil massage at Relax Express attached to Central Duangtawan Hotel on the outer left side (you'll see there sidewalk sign). All the gals there are cute and easy on the eyes. 500 baht for a HJ (negotiable).

Then walk over to StarSix. This gogo bar gets mixed reviews but for 150 baht (includes one beer) chill out, have a drink, check out the stage and chat up/feel up the gals, most speak decent english. 500 baht BF/1000 ST.

Royal Princess is just around the corner from both so it's convenient.

Or walk abit further to Spotlight...handful of cute gals last time I went there for a drink.

Good luck...hope you at least tipped the elephant. ;-)

[QUOTE=Tall Tom] I open the door and immediately whack my head on the low doorway. [/QUOTE]That brings back memories of my trip last summer!

I bumped my head on the ceiling heading down the stairs. Then on doorway leading into the room. Slipped and fell on the floor getting out of the tub. Then bumped my head on the way out of the room. Other than all that, I had a great time. Obviously YMMV.

Reiterating what HotWax stated, learn to speak a little Thai. It can bring out the best in the ladies.

Rayzor

[QUOTE=Hot Wax].

After your elephant ride, I suggest get an oil massage at Relax Express attached to Central Duangtawan Hotel on the outer left side (you'll see there sidewalk sign). All the gals there are cute and easy on the eyes. 500 baht for a HJ (negotiable).

Good luck. I hope you at least tipped the elephant. ;-)[/QUOTE]I just got back from elephant ride and I appreciate your tip on Relax Express. As soon as I shower I will head over there. I walked past StarSix a couple of days ago, and perhaps I'll go by there again latter.

I took good care of my elephant (gave it lots of bananas and sugar cane) and got to share the ride with a young uni stu from China. So overall, much better than Sayuri!

Thanks for the tips.

Tom

At OT Trad. Massage you can pick a girl from the fishbowl. Recently I was not satisfied. Lousy massage, so so HJ for 500 Baht. There is a TM place on almost every corner. Usually you are not allowed to chose. The older and fatter, the better the massage. HJ not everywhere. If you get a young and pretty girl, you can ask the mangager to send her to your room next time, or you can order her by phone. Some young girls may be shy, but probably they give you a HJ as part of the massage in your hotel. Do not tip more than 200 Baht for the extra service under those circumstances. Please do not spoil the market.

Many places on loi kroh will throw in the happy ending, 300 bt tip required, no more, on top of the massage price. "narak" for example next to lovely, 500 one hr for everything. One could also ask before what is on offer. Why not?

Another good one also clean and hot shower is "enjoy" on kotchasarn rd near lai thai gh. And of corse the dirty beaver on loi kroh near charoenprathet rd.

The same goes for that endless topic of guestfriendlieness. Why not just call the hotel in question and ask them if is ok to have a lady over at the room. Then at least they understand why they have customers and why not. If they have a problem, just say: too bad- and call another hotel or guest house. There are a number of cheap gh's that accommodate you and your girl. Smile for example, or fang. Just call. Ask. You're not 13 anymore.

Been making the rounds the last few days. I avoid Siyura like the plague. Have never in 5 yrs had good service there. But, as anyplace, it can be very hit & miss.

Thursday after golf--Phucome Nuaat Op Naam

About 12 of the 1000bhters in the bowl. Approx 8 1400bhters (young 19-22 yr olds) on the left.

Saw a darker, slender, but healthy chest cheaper one. Turns out she is 24. And one of the best I have ever experienced in a soapy. Had her own foam (I have never had any of the girls here even familiar with their counterparts use of it in BKK and PTTY) she said she bought it herself. A friend in the biz elsewhere told her about it. Great body, slightly trimmed down below, a daughter, but no evidence I could see, and loved to be eaten. Damage 1000 to the house, 400 for her, plus a small Heieken & orange juice for her. Going back to see her again.

Friday---Pandoras

Always been my fav place to go. Not this time! Approx 4 girls on offer at 1000bht. Uugghh. 1400bht on offer---6 girls. Asked mgr where are the rest. "Mai maa" he says. Not come? ! High season at 7pm on a Friday. Alarm bells go off. He says No 18 (slender, fashionable haircut, cute), a "good f##k". Ok, I try. Gives me 200bht discount for Chinese New Yrs and me being a regular. Again bells go off. Discount and I was the only customer. I haven't been here in 2 months and things can go down quickly in any biz and especially, I would imagine, in this biz. Got to the room no hot water. Girl very distant. My Thai, I am told is pretty good, she answers in one syllable words. Change rooms at my request. New room smells like the Marlboro Man was just there. Again no banter from her at all. She turns on the TV plants her self down and decides that she isn't even going to try to be pleasant.

At that point I put on my shoes (we hadn't even got undressed yet) and head downstairs leaving her still up there.complain to Mngmt. After very little discussion, which I am surprissed at, he gives me back my 1200bht. I suspect they have had problems before with this moody Bit*h. I tip him 100bht, which I think surprised the hell out of him, and off to Loy Kroi. Go to my No 1 place. Butterfly Bar. Find a newbie to CM by 2 weeks and have a great night!

When it talks like a duck, smalls like a duck, it.

Bad service genlelmen. Just walk. You are the customer!

During a recent trip had a good ST with a BG at one of the bar's at Loy Kroh. The place is owned by a charming Aussie and his C'Mai bxxxx. It's called Noi's and is in a row of pubs near the middle of Loy Kroh.

The girl was all over me when I walked into the Pub (cant remember her name). After a few drinks I suggested some relief for my member (and some bills in my wallet!!!). the damage was 1000Bht ST. Nice BJ, Daty was great, probably allows Anal (I fingered her ass good!).

Will definitely return for one of the other girls who was quieter but equally interested when I dropped by the following day.

Ice

[QUOTE=Greed Is Good]Friday---Pandoras

I haven't been here in 2 months and things can go down quickly in any biz and especially, I would imagine, in this biz.[/QUOTE]I think you just got unlucky, went past there on Saturday night, lots of customers and quite a few girls for what I could see. So try again later :-)

I went to Pandoras two days ago, and I can confirm:

Only 4 girls to chose from at 6pm (was on Monday)

I chose plumpy #31: dead distant fish, with very bad service ability. Did boom boom once, then bath, then asked for a massage (they say you have 90 minutes with the girl). She massaged my back for 10 minutes, and then. Nothing. She didn't even tried to move a hand. So I left, after complaining with the mamasan (I don't speak Thai, but she got my English).

Will never return there.

[QUOTE=Greed Is Good]Friday---Pandoras

Always been my fav place to go. Not this time! Approx 4 girls on offer at 1000bht. Uugghh. 1400bht on offer---6 girls. Asked mgr where are the rest. "Mai maa" he says. Not come? ! High season at 7pm on a Friday. Alarm bells go off. He says No 18 (slender, fashionable haircut, cute), a "good f##k". Ok, I try. Gives me 200bht discount for Chinese New Yrs and me being a regular. Again bells go off. Discount and I was the only customer. I haven't been here in 2 months and things can go down quickly in any biz and especially, I would imagine, in this biz. Got to the room no hot water. Girl very distant. My Thai, I am told is pretty good, she answers in one syllable words. Change rooms at my request. New room smells like the Marlboro Man was just there. Again no banter from her at all. She turns on the TV plants her self down and decides that she isn't even going to try to be pleasant.
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