REPORT (and partial warning – japan-escort.net)
This is a report for the guys that don't speak much Japanese but want to get laid here.
The other day I noticed that for the very first time ever (at least, that I know of), an English language Google search of something like “Osaka Escorts” brought up a page that linked to what looked like a reasonably decent Japanese delivery health service (yeah I know about Asian Mystique etc, and they're not bad, but you'll pay through the nose, have little choice of partner, and they're focused on gouging the gaijin, not being linked to shops that are targeted for Japanese customers).
So this was a bit of a pleasant surprise!
The site was [url]http://www.japan-escort.net/[/url] and it's all in English (and a few other languages you can choose from). As you can tell, it's written by a Japanese person, so I was gratified that some Japanese guy had gone to the trouble of reaching out and letting the businessmen/travelers in japan sample a little bit of prime sushi. And for the newbies it has a pretty good English explanation of how to order over the phone - not a bad study guide for those who want to learn how to order delivery but have never done it before. Anyway, one link on the site was for a shop called “Secret Door” (the Japanese equivalent site is “Himitsu no Tobira”, although I'm not sure they want you to know that). The “Secret Door” site has portraits of about 10 girls, all young (20s) and reasonable looking.
Even though I've been ordering delivery health through only Japanese sites for the past year or so, I thought I might give this gaijin-targeted one a try and see what's up.
I chose Mao-san (so named on the English site). Go have a look – she's very thin, definitely in her 20s, and seems to have a nice smile (although the face is blurred). I filled out the on-line form, in English, although the form is not really detailed enough to explain what I want, but hey, this service is for short term stayers I reminded myself. Good for them for at least even trying.
You fill out the form and submit it on line (at least a full day before your desired reservation time) and then on the reservation day you're supposed to call them up and confirm the reservation, following the script that the website kindly provides.
No problems there. I called them up at lunchtime of the day and told them I'd like to keep my reservation for 7pm tonight, and asked them if they could suggest a hotel (actually because I couldn't work out where their shop was based, because none of their websites have maps). They did suggest a place and told me the address and that was it. (In retrospect this was all said in Japanese language, but I have a feeling the speaker could handle English if necessary).
So at 7pm I arrived in front of the love hotel and called them to let them know I was there. It was in the sex-shoppiest area of Umeda, if you care to know. And it was raining. I waited for about 10 minutes (you have to allow some leeway sometimes) then the the phone rang and they asked if I could wait a little bit longer, I said I could. … 20 minutes later I get another call telling me that it will take a little more time. I'm a foreigner, so I need to be nice - “Sure, but exactly how much longer?”, I said.
“Oh, about 20 or 30 minutes. I'm so sorry. Can you wait that long?”
Fuck. I already have my anticipations, I can't just walk away.
“Yes, I'll wait”.
I went to a bar nearby and had a drink.
25 minutes later I walked back to the hotel, and within a short while the car pulled up. I walked around to the passenger side door and looked in the heavily shaded windows to see my lovely Mao-san.
But the windows of the car were so heavily tinted that I could only see shadows of what was inside, and before I could determine more, the driver came up and apologized for being so late, and then asked for the money up front. That was new to me. Usually I pay the girl herself.
So I paid the money to the driver (24,000Yen) yeah, I know, a total fucking ripoff, but you haven't heard the worst yet...
Then, the girl, Mao-san, that came out of the car to greet me was nothing like what had been advertised. I've ordered deri heru before and have always been satisfied that what I ordered is what I got, even given allowances for minor photographic embellishments. But this was completely different.
They, the deri heru company, baited and switched me, I think they played upon on the hopes that I wouldn't know any better, or that I was just a transient gaijin looking to fuck anything.
Mao-san was …. nothing that you'd enjoy fucking, really, I mean it, and I've fucked some awful hoes before. She was fat and homely. Worse still, she had an IQ of around 60 at best - she literally knew nothing about how an elevator operates, she couldn't work out the buttons. She had a mouthful of black, rotten teeth, and I'm not exaggerating.
So the moral of the story is, look somewhere else if you want quality.
Yours,
Grossman
2 photos
A penny for your thoughts...
Ok so I have been screwing about with craigslist trying to find someone like this chick. [url]http://osaka.craigslist. Jp/cas/1984615736.html[/url]
Craigslist stuff gets pulled all the time so this is what she wrote;
"would like to spend time together. W4m. 23 (Umeda)
Date: 2010-10-02, 2:46PM JST
Reply To This Post
Nice to meet you.
I am japanese girl who has come to Osaka very recently.
I would love to be friends and spend time at my apartment.
Hopefully you are 35 to 55 mature athletic male.
Please contact me.
And I would like to see your pics, too.
Thank you very much. "
So I got a reply from her. And have been talking to her all day. Must admit I am suspicious. She has basically not made a single error in any of her emails and even gets the slang right.
Here's one where she went off the rails a bit;
"thats sweet of you.
Please make me feel orgasm from you,
You are much older and I think you have many experiences,
So you need to lead me. "
Anyway, I think its some kind of scam. Lets see how she deals with me asking for a pic of her totally naked.