Bangkok Reports

[QUOTE=Terrym1]31 days until I arrive in Bangkok. I will arrive at midnight and will be exhausted and jet-lagged, so only want to go to one bar. So which is the best bar to go to on the first night? My three requirements are beautiful, friendly, and naked. Last time I went to Sheeba's, and the girls were friendly and naked, but the next morning I found out my girl was not beautiful. On subsequent trips to Sheeba's I discovered most of the girls weren't beautiful, with the exception of one unfriendly stunner who didn't want to go with me.[/QUOTE]Just go to Nana Plaza, take a pick of the bars and the girls, they are not pushy at all you can take your sweet time and get a really sweet girl. For some you can see everything before you choose so its a great place.

[QUOTE=Future Man1]Hi,

I have around 9 hours to transit at bangkok airport for my onward journey,
please help on best options for monegering and experaince bangkok during these 9 hours.

thanks in help in advance[/QUOTE]

You can do quite well if you transit time is after 12 noon or so.
I once landed at 1.30pm, off through immigration and at 3pm was comfortably sipping a coke with #5 at Annie's (march '10, booked her a week in advance with Aye) freshening up for the 90 min. session with her. What a nice way to break a very long trip to downunder from Europe. By 5pm I was ready to go at anyplace and preferred to head back to airport (my next flight was at 11pm) as didnt want to stroll around with my laptop bag. But could have easily spent another 2-3 hours "playing" around.

[QUOTE=Terrym1]31 days until I arrive in Bangkok. I will arrive at midnight and will be exhausted and jet-lagged, so only want to go to one bar. So which is the best bar to go to on the first night? My three requirements are beautiful, friendly, and naked. Last time I went to Sheeba's, and the girls were friendly and naked, but the next morning I found out my girl was not beautiful. On subsequent trips to Sheeba's I discovered most of the girls weren't beautiful, with the exception of one unfriendly stunner who didn't want to go with me.[/QUOTE]
at least you didnt find out in the morning that they were not girls yet!, lol!
On a more serious note, one of my future schedules sees my arrival at 22.30 and departing the day after at appr noon time. I might end up at Livingstone: a safe shelter with its Sports Bar...

[QUOTE=Goyave]Please, stop comparing prices in Thailand with those in your own country. The average MONTHLY wage in Thailand is lesser than US$300 (and not even half than that in the rural parts of this country from where most of the local P4P girls are coming from)!

[/QUOTE]

The point is that it is not that expensive for most foreigners who are visiting, relative the THEIR income. Or, if it is, then just go somewhere where it is cheaper. That's how life works, and complaining does no good at all - it's just wishing the world were somehow different than it really is, and in this case viewing a 95% full glass as half empty.

-B-

[QUOTE=Bonzo1] in this case viewing a 95% full glass as half empty.

-B-[/QUOTE]


Pessimist saying glass half empty.

Optimist saying glass half full.

Engineer saying glass full. Half water half air.

Sorry cannot helping myself...

Promised a field report so here we go.

Spent long time planning big trip thinking is last time can do this. Plan plan plan checking forum every time,

more plan plan plan, checking forum. Sure nothing can going wrong.

The results.

Shanghai - Expo crackdown FAIL.

Chengdu - LE crackdown FAIL.

Kunming - building shut for repairing FAIL.

Hong Kong - find Fililina with beauty face SUCCESS but go back hotel and period start. Spend 2 minutes boom boom

and 2 hours cleaning blood from bed. FAIL.

AC day 1 - going wrong bar next door in accident. Forget to read sign - me stupid. Dancer lady choose Indo Phile!

SUCCESS! Go back hotel and period start. 2 minutes boom boom in bed and 2 hours cleaning blood from bed. FAIL.

Hotel charge for stains. FAIL. Try boom boom in shower but in 2 minutes looking like famous scene from Psycho.

Better stop. FAIL.

AC day 2 - this time reading sign correct. Most beautiful lady choose Indo Phile! Lady very enthusiastic inside

bar. I think phrase is all over like rash. Leave bar for eating and lady already boned fish. Go back hotel now is

dead boned fish from freezer. FAIL.

AC day 3 - see dancing event in new bar. Fall in love with best dancing lady. Try to buying her drink when she

leaving stage but another customer quicker and take her home. FAIL. Go home heartbroken. Waitress say come back

tomorrow early.

AC day 4 - Arrive early. Dancing lady there. Joy oh joy! Happies man alive. But lady ill and not wanting bar fine

only drink. FAIL. Going home more heartbroken but decide maybe try another bar. Find new waitress with most

beautiful face. Looking very like Lili Thai twin. SUCCESS? No, having period sorry. FAIL.

AC day 5 - Three time lucky. Arrive early. Dancing lady sent to another bar. Find other bar. Is only 7:15 but

lady bar fine already. FAIL. Going home totally heartbroken. On way hotel trying another bar. Only 2 customers

and many lady so cannot go wrong. Buy 20 lady drinks and barfine 3 lady. Go to hotel. Shower together. Good

start. Lady hungry. Place massive order room service. Enough food for whole bar arrive. Check bill same size room

rate. Ladies eat and say sleep now. No no bit of action first. Ask for HJ to start. One lady do little bit. Ok BJ

please. No lady wanting. Please pleaes please. One lady try and really not wanting. Lady attitude cause total

power failure from Indo Phile significant other. First time ever happen. Very embarrased. Going bathroom to try

Star Wars (Hand Solo). Ok not perfect but strong enough. Going back room and ladies in bed sleeping. Pretending

sleeping more like. No room for Indo Phile in bed so sleeping on sofa. FAIL. Ladies wake up and say going now bye

bye. Try to get action but ladies leave. FAIL x3.

AC day 6 - Last chance. Favourite dancing lady now having period. HEART FAILURE. Try new bar. Cute spinner choose

Indo Phile. Success? Bar fine ok? Check. No period? Check. Go bar hopping. She keep choosing bars with only few

ladies dancing. Boring boring boring. Can go hotel now? Ok but only massage. Thinking maybe is special massage.

No is only normal massage but very very good. Then lady leave. FAIL.

Ok try new country. LOS shooting fish in barrel.

Soi Cowboy day 1 - plane late so cannot go. FAIL.

SC day 2 - trying Long Gun. Good dancing lady ask for drink. Indo Phile like so yes. Maybe success? Sorry having

boyfriend so cannot going with customer. FAIL. But she say can choosing other lady. OK. Everytime Indo Phile

looking and liking first lady hugging and kissing so new lady stay away. FAIL.

SC day 3 - trying Suzie Wong. Little choice but only really want to see show. Trying watching lesbian show then

lady having annoying voice arriving. Keeping hard hitting Indo Phile arm for buying her lady drink. Trying polite

to talk to her and watch but inpossible and miss most of show. Really want to buy drinks for 2 show ladies at

this end of stage but missing chance because annoying voice lady. FAIL.

Wait for second showing. This time another lady stand in way asking for drinks. Will not move and no other seats

for customer so cannot seeing show. How many nos do you need to understand miss? FAIL

SC day 4 - checking forum and internet. Recommend Shark. First trying Suzie again for seeing show. First showing

customer sitting in front. Cannot seeing. FAIL. Second show waitress standing in way. Cannot seeing. FAIL. Ok

trying Shark. Soon see 2 very very sexy ladies. Success? Thining maybe they already having customer. No they sit

with me. YEs! They asking Indo Phile for bar fine both. Good good. Going hotel ok? First going disco. Ok can. But

ladies drinking lady drinks like going out of fashion. Choosing most tequila drinks and down in one is

understandingable. But even full glass coke/whisky down in one. Not good sign.

On way to disco ladies say want visiting another bar. They saying they not knowing any other bar but Shark. Ok

can. Go inside and buying a drink each. Then lady 1 asking this lady my friend you buy her drink. Then she

finding another friend. Then lady 2 finding friends for drinks. Funny so many friends when never been inside bar

before. Buy a few drinks for friends but refusing buying more. Lady 2 sulking.

Go disco don't know name or location. Some Suckhumvit soi not sure. Paying for 3 people. Have 10 minutes drinking

and dancing. So far good. Then Lady 2 say I not liking her now and I liking her friend more. No No not true. Try

hard to please lady 2. Now lady 1 saying not liking her now and I liking her friend more. Familiar story. Not

true liking both. Lady 1 and 2 keep talking to other ex-customers. Very annoying but cannot say no because Indo

Phile not wanting being rude. Paying for them yes but now owning them.

After many more drinks and dancing Lady 1 disappear for 20 minutes talking on phone. Lady 2 say she going toilet.

Indo Phile alone so go toilet. Something to do. Come back quickly and Lady 2 searching Indo Phile. Where you go?

Only toilet. Ok, she going toilet now. But you just going toilet? No no talking to friend. Friend looking like

ex-customer. Hmm. Lady 2 ask where lady 1. Indo Phile don't know so suggest Lady 2 looking for her in toilet. Now

Lady 2 angry. ??? She yelling at Indo Phile ear but music too loud cannot hear. So going outside. Lady 2 yelling

you like Lady 1 more because you looking for her. Tell her she asking where Lady 1 is not me. Then Lady 1 arrive

and ladies starting arguing. Lady 2 very very dramatic. Overacting definite. Noticing one moment when Ladies 1

and 2 looking each other. Then stupid Indo Phile awake. Is trick. So asking ladies you playing games? You playing

trick? Not saying no. Can staying and argue but what the point? Walk away. FAIL x2.

Go back Shark to complain but is closed. More FAIL.

SC day 5 - go Shark early. Complain mamasan. Sorry lady say is customer fault. Not paying them money. 5000 on

drinks not counting. Sorry but cannot helping customer because happened yesterday. Shark right name for bar.

Ok nothing else can going wrong. Go Suzie Wong to see show. Customer all sitting on sides not by stage so can

have good view. One customer size of small mountain coming in just as show starts. Sits right in front at stage.

FAIL.

Spend time talking waitress. Very sweet but waitress only. FAIL.
Meantime lady sitting behind sometimes reaching over and hitting me in the head. Is this supposed to be fun?

Leave me alone.

Dancing girl choose Indo Phile. Success at last? Buy her lady drink. Cannot speak English. Ok no problem Indo

Phile English crap too. She sits legs cross, arms cross, face cross. Takes 1 sip, talks 1 sentence Thai to

waitress, gets up and leaves. Waitress say she is tired and is going home. See her 5 minutes later leaving with

man. Maybe not customer don't care. Why did I pay the bill? FAIL.

Remember from forum that Sheba have show. Ok last chance. No show. One dancing lady choosing Indo Phile but she

very very very drunk. Goodbye please. Please stop hitting me. Indo Phiel bruise easy. No really please stop

punching me. Please stop sitting with me. Goodbye please. Help! Ok plan B. Buy 2 waitresses drinks and sit

between them so maurauding drunk people cannot attack. Talking ok but no choice lady. Is late already. Finally

see one who fitting the bill - two arms, two legs, two of most things, one everything else. No having unexpected

man parts. Check. Sorry already have customer. FAIL.

Ok bit desperate now. See another lady dancing by door. Cute tall slim. ok go go go quick bar closing soon.

Approach and start dancing with her. 2 seconds later drunken mad dancer attacks from behind yelling she love me.

Take difficult 20 seconds self defense removing her without breaking anything. Try talking to cute tall slim and

lights come on immediately. Cute tall slim say bar closed now bye bye and pointing to door. FAIL.

Now desperate. Music from Tilac. Ok still open. Go inside lots of ladies still there. Little bit like

supermarket. Spend 10 seconds looking lights on staff off. Bar closed bye bye. FAIL.


If you not doing better than Indo Phile then you very really rubbish.

Please not telling me how rubbish I am. Upset enough already. How hard can this be? Spent many thousands of baht

and pesos and got nothing but trouble, disapointment, and a bit of blood all for 2 minutes boom boom with lady

who bleeds like sacrifice goat.

Time Indo Phile retire?

[QUOTE=Indo Phile]...Time Indo Phile retire?[/QUOTE]
Try offering them some money next time. SUCCESS!

[QUOTE=Indo Phile]Time Indo Phile retire?[/QUOTE]
Time to find another hobby ?

Seems you don't have any luck at SC go-go, so may I suggest you pick up a FL on Sukhumvit next time. If they are out looking for customers, chances are they are not bleeding like a "sacrifice goat".

For what you spent on drinks in 1 night, you could have had 5 ST.

or you could try one of many soapies, or oilies in BKK.

Indo Phile,
you dah MAN!!!

What an uplifting, inspirational report, many thanks. As I read it I could feel the frustration and pain you were going through, wow.

I love this report because it gives me hope. I think in any other activity, a regular man such as Indo Phile (I assume you are a regular guy) would have given up after...maybe...the third FAIL. But FAIL after FAIL and you just kept plugging along. And 34 FAILSs later, you still have the motivation to write up this wonderful report. Wow. The next time I bomb, er, I mean FAIL, I will remember this report.

Looking at your previous posts (many in China), you seem to have found some success, so this massively FAILed trip is an anomaly. Any thoughts on why you FAILed so miserably this time?

Maybe you were too polite? Maybe you were too drunk? Maybe you were not focussed enough? Maybe it was just bad luck? Any thoughts?

And just an observation, please don't take offense from it: your writing style reads much like Thai bar girl English, which just adds to the enjoyment of the report. That may offend you, but please don't let it - I mean no offense, and I find it really quite charming (no sarcasm).

Indo Phile,

I have one gun left, you can have it! but I'll have to charge you for the bullets.


LBM

ah indo phile - engineer also say "Glass twice as big as needs to be"

Wasn't there an old Lil Abner character called Joe Bxtlfrxtd or something. That character could fuck up a wet dream - entirely and totally bad luck.

LBM - so he can shoot self in foot??

Daddy07 - did pay all barfine ladies PI. Buy some drinks for all non barfine, sometimes many drinks. Same same SC except Shark attack ladies but buy them many many drinks.

1Ball - too scary of freelancers. Have enough trouble with lady with mamasan. But learn from Shark that complaining waste of time. Not going massage lady because really really wanting wake up next to someone in the morning.

LBM and Dinghy - thanking you for good offer of gun. Too dangerous to others. Miss own foot hit Bangkok Mayor. International scandal. Picture in papers worldwide. Fame at last. Die in Bangkok Hilton. Indo Phile RIP. No flowers. Donations to UNICEF.

Kumbu - happy you liking report. Bit painful to write but make me feel better. Feeling loser and lonely. Your reply make me feeling little bit happier.

Yes had some good time in Shanghai. Then Expo destroy everything. 70 billion US spent well!

No offense writing style. Result of mixed education. Too polite yes. Too drunk no. Only drinking little bit alcohol. Always buying more lady drinks than customer drinks. Sometimes going 711 for water so not seeing double. Not foccussed maybe. Problem is bad eyesight and dark bar. Cannot seeing lady number some times not seeing face. So go careful. Maybe go too slow. When I see good one other customer there first everytime. Maybe school should not teaching English style manners and queing. Maybe should learn Chinese style queing - apologies to 1.5 billion people. Wishing was here when curfew. Maybe can be only customer so fastest man in bar!

Forgotting also visiting bar in Perimeter AC day 6 afternoon after 3xFAIL with Insomnia ladies and power fail with significant other.

Good start - go in wrong bar. Sign outside in wrong place. Waitress say many customers same same mistake. Why not moving sign? fail but only little letters. Polite customer so finishing drink and going correct Candybar.

Two ladies liking me. Few lady drinks to see if liking them. Yes good fun. Barfine and back to hotel. Start action and lady 2 getting giggles. Now lady 1 giggling. Indo Phile catch giggles. Everyone giggling. Now giggling becoming total laughter. Fun but destroying atmosphere. Now suffer second power failure in 24 hours.

Rush in bathroom and more Star Wars action. Ok fixed. Boom boom lady 1 a bit then change lady 2. Blood everywhere. Is every lady in AC having period in same week? Now having total power FAILure. Cannot fixing and cannot finish. 1xfail + 1xFail + 1xFAIL + 1x power FAIL.

To improve English been watching BBC World TV. Liking Top Gear very much. They saying alot how hard can it be? For Indo Phile finding boom boom lady in brothel really very hard. Think Clarkson saying Indo Phile biggest loser... ...IN THE WORLD.

Choosing what to do last night in BKK.

1 Soi Cowboy

2 NEP

3 Patphong

4 stay hotel watch Top Gear learn English

Votes in an email to stupid customer of the month @ loser. com


Very good learning English with Top Gear. Many many useful English.
Captain Slow = Indo Phile choosing lady
How hard can it be? = Indo Phile in bar
What can possibly go wrong? = read Indo Phile reports


Also find English TV show Worst Week of my Life. Yes me too. Maybe can sell story to BBC for new series?

Great report Indo Phile. I suspect you are either far too polite or lack confidence. Whichever it is, girls will exploit you! Start being a bit more decisive and telling them what you want! Did you want to dance and drink all night? Or just go back to room and boom boom?

Make it happen dude. Or you will get far to used to failure.