Safe Sex

For starters, we don't know where it's been! Condoms need to be kept in cool, dark places or they become brittle. For all we know, the condom could have been in the guy's wallet for a year or sitting in the glovebox of his car in the summer heat. The Health Dept will not allow stores to swap/refund condoms for that reason...for example if you accidentally bought ribbed condoms instead of plain, the shop will not allow you to exchange them.

The other reason is there are men who would prefer to go bareback, and are willing to do anything to achieve it. If you take a look in the archives (I wish I could remember the idiot's name...but he actually 'claimed' to be a doctor!!), you will find a guy who TOLD men to put pinpricks in condoms to increase the risk of them breaking during sex.

Obviously not all girls will refuse condoms that guys bring with them, especially those in other countries I guess, but a Western "professional" will be unlikely to use them unless they're still in the box (and preferably with the store receipt!) Sounds fussy I know, but we are more at risk than you boys are if the condom is unreliable. :)

Hmm, well, do you only eat food or drink beer you store as well, or will you accept that brought to you by someone else? By that logic were I to want to increase the risk of condom brittleness I could just leave the whole box out in the sun or in the glove compartment, or stick them on top of or next to a heating vent, and it's easy enough to just buy a new box for a recent receipt. I could go out and buy or get access to a shrink-wrap machine and/or glue gun to make opened packages look new. If I truly want to present a damaged condom as one that's pristine, there's very little to stop me.

I absolutely understand the risk issues, and we've been in enough discussions that you know I'm well aware of the medical aspects, but there's also a point at which precaution becomes paranoia and breeds mistrust, which can do nothing but negatively impact the vibe, and which I believe can also thereby increase the risk, as stress also has something to do with resistance. If I were with a provider who only wanted to use her own particular condom, which I'm generally only going to see as a separated single, and which I also have no great idea about storage or care, as opposed to one of mine which is clearly torn from a sequence or the second one from an almost-full box, and she were to tell me something of that sort, I expect I'd both be half-waiting for a scam to ensue or basically be waiting from the beginning to be told to hurry up and come or that only this that or the other was going to happen, since it would be clear that the provider didn't trust me, and had no great concern or respect for me in the equation.

I've had providers who do only wrapped blows tell me that they prefer this or that condom because of taste or texture, and others who stated preference for this or that brand for sensation, allergy, or comfort issues, and that's fine and I never press the issue, but it's always been light and fairly optional. I've never had anyone outright refuse to use one I brought -- including a fair number of "Western professionals."

And regardless of the basic statistics about who gets what from whom, the bottom line from my perspective as someone who practices fairly safe sex is that whatever sex professional I'm with has had a far greater number of partners than I have, and that I'm therefore also exposed to any idiot who wants to put pin-pricks in condoms (or manages to convince the temporary partner I'm with not to use them by waving around enough cash.) So I have my own levels of concern and need for control -- I don't care about the stats; as someone in this situation who's engaging in multiple-partner activity with someone whose sexual history I've no great insight into, I'm also at risk and it's not something I see as an occupational hazard for which I'm getting compensated.

I know the "clients can be idiots and assholes" side of things, but I've been in enough situations with sex workers who don't know squat about what kinds of lubrication increase the risk of breakage that I don't have undue faith in the safe-sex education of my hired partner either.

The 'BYO condoms in a new box' thing is something quoted by workers in Oz, America, Canada and England. I have also seen men tell each other, on boards like this, that THEY have been told the same thing by working girls. I was just passing it on. To tell the truth, I have never personally had a client bring his own condoms for me to use. However, I do think that I would refuse him if he whipped one out of his pocket. I know that *I* have looked after my condoms correctly and I can't really be certain about his, so for my own protection I will only use the ones I'm certain about. HE doesn't know whether I look after MY condoms or not either...but that's not my problem. *grin* As the service provider, *I* am required to have the appropriate personal protective equipment available and I am required to know how to use it properly. (And I hold governments and law enforcement solely responsible for the fact that there are sex workers who don't know the first thing about safe sex). You can't provide your own syringes or gloves when you go to a doctor...you can't bring your own needles when you get a tattoo...

Anyway, I like to have my own condoms that I know taste good! :)

RN and Joe_zop,
Thanks for the info. Currently ALL of the working gals that I've been with have expected me to have a condom. (Portugal, Central Asia, Turkey, and Germany) Interesting. Out of curiosity, RN, which tastes the best to you?

Germany as well? Wow...I would kinda expect it from the other countries you mentioned, but I didn't realise it was like that in Germany. I don't know much about the industry in Germany, and I guess I pictured it as similar to Amsterdam and other European places. Out of interest...and I 'spose I probably already know the answer, but I'm gonna ask anyway...if the guy doesn't bring a condom, what happens then? Do the girls just do it without?

As for tasty condoms, there's a brand here called Glyde that make Vanilla, Wildberry and Blueberry flavoured condoms...they are soooo yummy! They taste just like lollies (or candy or whatever you call them where you live!), and they smell delicious too. The lubricant on regular condoms tastes pretty foul, so if there's no flavoured ones around I will go for whatever condoms have the least lubricant on them.

But please guys, don't EVER give a girl a condom that's got spermicide on it!!! Every working girl I've ever known has put one of them in her mouth...ONCE. It's not something you'd ever be stupid enough to do twice! LOL They burn your tongue and make your lips go numb, and the taste stays in your mouth for hours no matter how many times you rinse it. Ewwwwwwwww.

RN -

The lubricants used can get on guys' nerves too. I've used brands where the lubricant started to get a rather pungent odor after a fair amount of condom use (or was it my imagination?).

I'd be interested as well what these girls do if you didn't bring a condom. If I was wary of pregnancy, STD, germs of any kind, as any normal person should be, I'd sure as hell carry a pack in my purse, even if I expected the guy to bring them.

Whenever I've used a condom that was "non-standard", I've made it very clear to my partner (paid or unpaid) what I'd be slipping on BEFORE she got the nasty surprise of an unpleasant or unusual sensation/taste.

Cmon guys, just because we pay them for their bodies, don't be rude and put something noxious in their mouths.

It's an interesting problem regarding lube, isn't it, though since Nonoxynol 9 now appears to have nothing to do with preventing HIV infection and may actually expose women to more danger, spermacide really can't be recommended in any event. So, RN, you're saying that from a sex worker perspective, you absolutely prefer the unlubed kinds, right?

Chris, you've spent time in SE Asia, and you know that lack of a brought condom in that region means a) nothing's going to happen and the deal's off or b) the woman is going to offer to do without or c) she will actually have a condom, but seeks to save money by using yours or most definitely d) it's time to stop panting and run the the store.

And given that prior to the recent UN study regarding Nonoxynol that it was highly recommended to use those kinds of condoms, this is something that didn't get nearly enough play, especially given not only the clear counterindications for use but the basically very nasty taste involved. I suspect very few people really have it in their brains yet (and it's certainly nothing the industry is trumpeting) that they should probably avoid condoms with spermicide for disease protection, and it's unclear just how effective the combo is at preventing pregnancy above and beyond simple condom use.

RN,
The answer is as you expect. No condom, no problem. The ball falls clearly into the guys court. STIs are very much on the rise in Central Asia. I was last in Uzbekistan in 2001 and heard that the HIV rate is actually being suppressed by the government.

Chris,
[i]"Cmon guys, just because we pay them for their bodies, don't be rude and put something noxious in their mouths."[/i]
That was so sweet! :) I have to admit, being an Aussie (where we certainly don't rely on a man to supply the condom), I have nobody to blame but myself for the spermicide experience! I realised I'd left my supplies in the car just as I was going into a booking, and I accepted an offer of an emergency condom from a new girl. I should have known better...new girls always seem to carry those darn things! LOL

Joe,
[i]"...you're saying that from a sex worker perspective, you absolutely prefer the unlubed kinds, right?"[/i]
Personally, yes. I can't stand the taste of pre-lubricated condoms! (Unless it's flavoured lube on flavoured condoms, of course!) And really, as far as the 'sex worker perspective' goes, lubricating condoms is completely redundant. There is not enough lube on them to actually decrease the risk of breakages, so you need to add extra lube anyway. I would much prefer to have unlubricated condoms for French, and then I can just add my own lube for the sex. I guess pre-lubricated condoms are a good idea for "normal" people though, who don't necessarily always have a bottle of lube near the bed (or for street based workers). A little bit of lube on the condom would be better than none at all.

re: the Nonoxynol-9 findings...our local SW agency has long recommended that working girls shouldn't use them. It may have been ok for the average person who has sex once a week or so, but when you're having sex 6 or 7 times a day, the side-effects are more than obvious. Complaints range from an increased incidence of thrush, right up to such severe burning that sex is no longer possible for the rest of the shift (depending on the woman's sensitivity to it). I never used them myself...because I figured they would taste bad (and then found out the hard way that I was right! LOL)...but a lot of new girls use them when they start, thinking that it must be the safest thing to do. More experienced workers will usually tell them to go buy some normal ones, because the spermicide will end up making them sore.

i'm very new at this hobby --- in fact only have *three* experiences total...

Each time the girl provided an extremely thin Red condom
that fits snuggly around your base but is loose enough
--- and sheer enough --- that it doesn't even feel like yer wearing one !!

The last time i used condoms --- back in the '70s --- they were so thick and tight that the old "taking a shower in a raincoat" analogy really made sense

But *THESE* are Incredible !!!

Does anyone out there know what BRAND these new ones are ???

What is a dental dam? Something that makes it safe to eat a woman? How does it work? Alternatives? What about just using some ceran wrap from the kitchen?

jeff

after an unprotected sex encounter, do i have to wait for a certain period before i see the doctor, or can a diagnosis be made immediately afterwards? obviously i am not talking about HIV, but the more "regular" stuff like chlamydia or the clap.

thanks for your input.

I would contact a doctor or Public Health Clinic and ask them immediately:

1) You would want baseline results (to make sure you do not have anything now, also, if anything develops, you'd be able to tell it was from this encounter)

2) The doctor/clinic will tell you symptoms to watch for and tell you when to come in for tests. Tests are constantly being updated and improved. Many test results now take minutes or hours to obtain.

Loafer,

Get the base-line test done TODAY.

Lew Archer is absolutely right in all that he has said. Anyone in this circumstance owes it to themselves and others to get a base-line.

Believe it or not, I have my own bloods and bacterial profile done every six months. Admittedly that’s extreme, but then I work in a hospital, know the G.U.M. & Haemo boys and so the tests are free. For a regular monger I would urge a base-line at least every 12 to 18 months…

Regards,

Havanaman

thanks guys.

what i actually wanted to know is: how long does it take for bacteria to become traceable in a test, on the basis of only one single unprotected sex encounter.

admittedly an academic question for regular mongers, but perhaps of some interest to those who have this one-off "accident". if there is a possibility of getting tested too early, it might create a wrong feeling of comfort in case the test result was negative.