Filipinas - Opinions and Advice

In case anyone has forgotten, some ISG members have proclaimed that you should not waste time meeting women who bring along friends, or relatives. Others, including me, have suggested that this could be quite an adventure, and also seems to result in a very happy conclusion.See the chat/penpal thread for some of these posts.

So, does the foreigner meet the family, charm them in a devious way, take advantage of the situation, and then violate the daughter in most kinky ways....possibly taking her virginity? (see av posts for more about virginity)

Or is this just Fil culture...? I spent the night with a CB friend (who lied and claimed she was a virgin) and then the next morning invited me up to the montain where I met papa, and was rather suprised when she said, "He said I could accompany". And so she did. She was the breadwinner of the family (Mactan factory) and my feeling, was she called the shots but was showing respect for her family.

So, I'm posting reality. I realize it is a small dose of reality, but that is my experience. AV can live in Philippines all he wants, but if he doesn't tell us something useful, what's the point?

I somehow think he as some good stuff to add.

D'etat on the other hand would have to do dogenaza to get my respect anytime soon.

You do know what that means, don't you mr smarty pants?

X




[QUOTE=X Man]Does anyone else have an opinion on this? Parading you in front of friends and family - yes, I got that impression. But if at her request on the first date, I don't see how this could be construed as a de-facto marriage proposal.

X[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=X Man]Does anyone else have an opinion on this? Parading you in front of friends and family - yes, I got that impression. But if at her request on the first date, I don't see how this could be construed as a de-facto marriage proposal.

X[/QUOTE]
When I went back to Davao City I joined up with Cherry Blossoms in order to meet more Davao girls faster I started chatting with this pretty 20 year old and tried to get her to come to me in Davao, we couldnt work it out the distances and time frames were too wrong anyway this is what she told me in an email.

[QUOTE] u maybe righ in saying u are worry that ur too old for me. but i wantu to know meeting and making friends with older person means marrying them immediately[/QUOTE]
I am too scared to go meet this lady even if she is pretty her dad is a policeman and an older filipina told me maybe I might get a shotgun wedding if I go to visit her.

I belong to a forum based in Cebu and the folks there advise not to go meet the family of the girl unless I was serious. The anecdotal evidence seems to be both ways. Sorry X Man this may be one of those unsolved mysteries peculiar to the Philippines?

I was talking with a filipina friend and she said out of the blue such and such a person didnt show respect to her. I was puzzled by this because I never saw any rudeness directed to her from this person, investigating I found out this person did something without asking her like somehow this activity was in my friends domain and she should show respect by asking her first.

Maybe its like that X Man as you suggest a courtesy thing before you can do the deed.

Oh yeah I'd be happy to meet any of the girl's friends who come along I have this sweet beautiful girl waiting for me again in the Philippines who I chatted with last night and she is hot to meet up with me again. She was a background girl until I noticed her and edged out the foreground girls. I would never have met her if her friends had not brought her along.

Very interesting post BB. I wonder if older guy = marriage prospect exists because they think we are desperate.

I've chatted with a few women -- and I suppose I was being a bit of a prickly ass -- and was really surprised when they then laid into me with the "dirty old man" insult. I'm pretty low-key about sexual things in chat, so didn't deserve the "dirty" part. Have to admit though that I'm much older than them...and of course that I'm a prickly ass. Anyway, it struck me as odd that they are their chatting with older guys, asking "how's your search", but inside thinking "dirty old man".

Back to meeting the parents or guardian. (met a girl in Cebu who invited me to meet her aunt in Bohol who happens to be her guardian. I didn't due to lack of time, but she is one hell of a charmer.)

If you do meet the family, you are naturally ratcheting up the "relationship" and therefore should proceed with caution. What level you are ratcheting up to is debatable, and probably tends to depend a lot on circumstances. Father is a policeman?.....give it a miss.

Let me suggest two opposite scenarios:
1) Girl is very young and/or innocent, possibly cherry, lives in rural or otherwise isolated area that tends to be conservative and/or religious and doesn't see many foreigners. You tell a few fibs regarding you "availability" and "intentions". You meet the family, seduce her for a qk fk, and then dump her - maybe walking about town with a different girl on your arm the next day. This is stupid, immoral, and dangerous in my opinion.

2) Girl is 24+, some experience with men, and shows some degree of maturity or independence -- having a job, or even being the family breadwinner would count. You are generally honest with her, like her, feel some affection for her. You meet the family, seduce her (or vice versa), likely spend a few days with her, then get on an airplane and leave. This just strikes me as acceptable. Yes, she might be in love and there might be some drama, but that's how relationships work.

I've had women ask me if we were in a long term relationship. My truthful answer is "I really like you, but I have to get on a plane, so of course this isn't long term." They seem to have accepted that. Now, if you live in Philippines things will get more complicated. A while back there was an interesting discussion about white lies, and avoiding unfortunate truths...but this message is already getting too long.

To sum up, don't treat a regular girl like p4p, and don't take advantage of a naive girl.

Now, does meeting the family set those wedding bells to ringing. I guess one way to find out is start asking some of your Filipina friends for their opinion. Don't listen to some prickly ass.

X

For whatever it's worth, having lived here for about five years, my strong recommendation is never to meet the family unless you're going to get married. There's little upside to the "adventure" other than being able to post about it for some of the less clued in who lurk herein. Really, what is the point of meeting the family? For them, it's easy. Size up the ATM and try to assess the potential reward for family members. See if you're worth their daughter's time. Doe you though, where's the upside potential in all of this?

GE, for me personally, some of my most memorable adventures were when I got on a bus or van and went out into the countryside to meet family. I like getting out of the city and I like seeing how ordinary people live, I like meeting new people. I went to places and met people and had experiences I would never have had if I'd not accepted their kind offers.

I've invariably gotten laid after meeting the family, so that could be an upside as well, although I never thought about it much until recently - and that wasn't some devious strategy on my part. This would also seem to lend credence to AV's idea that meeting the family suggests a serious relationship heading toward marriage. I'm still not convinced of that, but it will be on my mind next time I get an invitation.

On the other hand, when ladies suggest bringing Mom to the first meeting, I draw the line. I don't see any advantage to that. Hmm, maybe I sound contradictory on that point.

BTW, the little cutey that joined me at your party....I met her family. Daddy cut open a few coconuts for me with his machete.

I might up and run next time I see someone's Daddy carrying a machete!

X

[QUOTE=GoodEnough]For whatever it's worth, having lived here for about five years, my strong recommendation is never to meet the family unless you're going to get married. There's little upside to the "adventure" other than being able to post about it for some of the less clued in who lurk herein. Really, what is the point of meeting the family? For them, it's easy. Size up the ATM and try to assess the potential reward for family members. See if you're worth their daughter's time. Doe you though, where's the upside potential in all of this?[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=X Man]BTW, the little cutey that joined me at your party....I met her family. Daddy cut open a few coconuts for me with his machete.

I might up and run next time I see someone's Daddy carrying a machete!

X[/QUOTE]Well, this had me laughing. Sounds like the US equivalent of Daddy cleaning his shotgun when you come to pick up his daughter for prom!

[QUOTE=X Man]D'etat on the other hand would have to do dogenaza to get my respect anytime soon.

You do know what that means, don't you mr smarty pants?

X[/QUOTE]

I grew up destitute in one of the most dangerous cities in America. Now in my late 20s I have lived in Japan and South Korea. I own a nice house in an upscale suburb of Metro Manila. I wear nice jewelry and can afford to travel at my leisure any where on this green earth and party like rock star. X I am self made.

I don’t know what possessed you to think your respect means something to me. I respect myself X. I also didn’t come here looking for respect or to make friends. I can do what you do X travel to impoverished nations and use my new found wealth to seduce the native women of the land but what’s the fucking point. Why I am living there in PI you ask? Because a lady came into my life that I met while vacationing in Japan. PI happened to be her native country.

I am a monger. If was not I wouldn’t be on this board. I always tell women up front what to expect and that’s that. They can take it or leave it. I don’t bend or fold. I don’t look down on anyone for the way they live and I don’t tell people how to live. I only offer a opinion.

[QUOTE=GoodEnough]For whatever it's worth, having lived here for about five years, my strong recommendation is never to meet the family unless you're going to get married. There's little upside to the "adventure" other than being able to post about it for some of the less clued in who lurk herein. Really, what is the point of meeting the family? For them, it's easy. Size up the ATM and try to assess the potential reward for family members. See if you're worth their daughter's time. Doe you though, where's the upside potential in all of this?[/QUOTE]

Now here is a man I have grown to respect over the last three years I have been a member of this fine forum.

I said it once I am saying it again. If all you is looking for is a screw and thats it to meet the family is bullshit. But hey to each its own.

Thank you for the biography. Most people I know are "self made", and many people I know who live in Asia don't really understand the place. I have to suspect you are one of them since you make a sweeping generalization that because something is true in Japan, it must be true in Philippines. If that isn't what you meant, then I apologize for my misunderstanding.

I agree with what is quoted below as I've said in an earlier post.

[QUOTE=D Etat]
I said it once I am saying it again. If all you is looking for is a screw and thats it to meet the family is bullshit. But hey to each its own.[/QUOTE]

Japan and Philippines are both island countries in Asia, and both are smaller than the state of California. Anyway, just some interesting stats I gathered (mostly) from the CIA fact book.

Population
J: 127 mil
P: 91 mil

Median age
J: 43.5
P: 22.7

Fertility rate:
J: 1.3
P: 3.05

Life span
J: 82
P: 71

Religion
J: Buddhist/Shintoist, most people practice both, few have deep religious feelings
P: Roman Catholic 80% - many are deeply religious

Literacy
J: 99%
P: 92%

Ethinic group
J: 99 % homogenous Japanese culture
P: 28 % Tagalog, 13 % Cebuano, and many others

GDP per capita
J: 33,800 / 2nd largest economy in the world
P: 3,300 / one of the poorest countries in the world

Below poverty line
J: ?
P: 30%

[QUOTE=X Man]Thank you for the biography. Most people I know are "self made", and many people I know who live in Asia don't really understand the place. I have to suspect you are one of them since you make a sweeping generalization that because something is true in Japan, it must be true in Philippines. If that isn't what you meant, then I apologize for my misunderstanding. blah blah blah
[/QUOTE]

Refute, then apologise, now where have we heard that before ???

Having drawn the line with AV it must be time for Mr X to start on another member, all I ask is, what value is any of this for the average mongering reader??

Time to get back on track guys and give the arguments a rest, if you can ??

Thanks for the lectures, but..........

F/Fifty

PS Dont even bother having a go at me, I simply do not care anymore.

There are lot of pitfalls in meeting the family.

1. It is hard to refuse your lovely girls request to meet her family. But the truth is the whole family has heard of you and it is some kind of credit for the girl who has bagged a foreigner and she wants to prove to the family that you are real and you love her.

2. The family will size you up as a ATM strength. In reality not all the families are looking for money from you. some of them are really well off considering they own land and house and have been making a good living even before you came into their picture. Unfortunately Philippino people have large families and they cannot afford to send all to college to study. Even if they do there are very few job opportunities. Their main concern is if you take care of the girl they need not support her and can concentrate on other children.

3. Girls know very well that if they screw your brains out you are more likely to keep friendship and support her. Platonic relationships do not last long. Besides it is a physical, hormonal thing. If she does not have sex with you she is doing with somebody else who do not give anything. Very few cherry girls last long if they try to hold out for long.

4. Curiosity got the better of you as a cultural thing. Get a hold on yourself. It is not all that interesting to see how the people live. Watch National Geographic to get the feel. The more detached you are from the family the better for you even if you marry her.

5. If you are into feeling sorry for the people , donate to your charity. If you start donating to the family there will be no end.

6. Finally dating normal girls is good. It is a good dating experience like any other. You never know. Maybe you will marry her and have a good loving relationship. I believe very few people will actually seduce them and run away with no interest in helping the girls atleast a short time. Being honest will be good in this situation so that the girl will know what to expect and will be ready for the eventuality.

In 2 trips to the PI, I only met one girls family. Only time I did not get laid and just wanted to get the hell out of there. I think she was smart enough to assume I did not fly all the way over there to spend 4 days with her then return home.

A few months ago on her friendster it has her married with pictures of her and her new "gwapo". White guy. Lot's of pictures of her and the new sucker. Slowly his picture has been moved toward the back of her picture sets. And she is back on CB looking for some dude to support her family.

My adivce is also don't meet the family unless you are really into the girl. The family members will be showing up wherever you and the girl are at. And you will be picking up the bills.

Well, Sammon, I have to keep up my reputation as a caustic prickly ass who will disagree with anyone and everything, I never once suspected that the family thought of me as an ATM. After all, they don't have ATM's up on the mountains.

Try to be more logical in your next post!

But I'm sorry if I misundertood your post (I've been "apologizing continually" according to the fan mail in my PM box).

X

PS, I don't watch National Geographic. Should I rent the video?


[QUOTE=Sammon]There are lot of pitfalls in meeting the family.

1. It is hard to refuse your lovely girls request to meet her family. But the truth is the whole family has heard of you and it is some kind of credit for the girl who has bagged a foreigner and she wants to prove to the family that you are real and you love her.

2. The family will size you up as a ATM strength. In reality not all the families are looking for money from you. some of them are really well off considering they own land and house and have been making a good living even before you came into their picture. Unfortunately Philippino people have large families and they cannot afford to send all to college to study. Even if they do there are very few job opportunities. Their main concern is if you take care of the girl they need not support her and can concentrate on other children.

3. Girls know very well that if they screw your brains out you are more likely to keep friendship and support her. Platonic relationships do not last long. Besides it is a physical, hormonal thing. If she does not have sex with you she is doing with somebody else who do not give anything. Very few cherry girls last long if they try to hold out for long.

4. Curiosity got the better of you as a cultural thing. Get a hold on yourself. It is not all that interesting to see how the people live. Watch National Geographic to get the feel. The more detached you are from the family the better for you even if you marry her.

5. If you are into feeling sorry for the people , donate to your charity. If you start donating to the family there will be no end.

6. Finally dating normal girls is good. It is a good dating experience like any other. You never know. Maybe you will marry her and have a good loving relationship. I believe very few people will actually seduce them and run away with no interest in helping the girls atleast a short time. Being honest will be good in this situation so that the girl will know what to expect and will be ready for the eventuality.[/QUOTE]

I think the consensus from most of the posters was that the negative aspects of meeting a woman's parents outweigh the advantages. Not everyone touched on the specific issue of whether meeting parents might create some expectation of marriage. I asked a few Filipinas and so far rec'd only one answer. This one from a college educated lady, early 20s, in Visayan region, did not grow up in a big city, but lives there now. I didn't meet her parents (but was invited) and I didn't get past first base. Here is her answer:

****
Well, it's my pleasure to answer your question...
Meeting Filipina's parents doesn't mean that you want to marry that girl maybe unless you had relationship (more than just a friend) towards that person and both of you decided already to got married...But it cannot be denied that before ,if a guy meets the parents of the one he loves,obviously he want to marry that girl...I think that was around 1970s-1980s..But it did not practiced as of now...We're modern now,so it's already accepted.
In fact we had a more Friends,boy or girl, welcome to our family..Where did you get that information?
So, your scared to meet my family because of that information???hehehehehe
Your cute...thank you for the question...
***

Hey, I got a compliment out of that question, so I will thank AV for bringing up such an interesting topic in the first place! Ha, ha, AV, I bet you never thought you would get a compliment from ME!

X

Dear X man,
This is a forum for opinions and discussions. I am not offended by yours or anybody's reply.
PS. Rent a video so that you can watch with the whole family.- lol.

You guys are amusing in your way of thinking. Setting ground rules for meeting family members? In my view it can be a privilege to meet relatives and friends of the women you pursue. They can only open up doors leading to having great experiences!

Why visit the Philippines? To stay in 4 or 5 star hotels rubbing elbows with other tourists? Attending weddings, cockfights, discos, parties, etc. can be very rewarding and prosperous. When I visit, I always try to meet as many people as possible.

Sounds like some of you are meeting the wrong kind of people. You need to circulate and see what comes up!