Six and a half year long 'Date' with a Dubai SP
(And equally long report. For those who are tempted by the long term prospect)
So, in April 2006 after only my third mongering visit to Dubai, I committed the cardinal Newbie sin. Despite being with many working girls in both Holland and Germany, the 'all night' girlfriend scenario available in Dubai, finally got through my defences.
The first advice I received about Dubai came from 'TwoSoreFeet' on a competing board, who shocked me with tales of how good Dubai was. Those who were around at the time, will remember how good Dubai was before the 2006 purges, certainly for those who like Ruskies and stanis.
One interesting piece of advice was, 'Be careful, these girls are easy to fall in love with. They are lonely, broke and desperate'. I went to Dubai fully intending to heed those words as a hard bitten monger but also utterly failing in that Endeavour.
Uzbek 'Lora' was hired by me for three days and nights, straight. 800 Dhs each night for the whole night with sex in the morning and all day. Imagine an slightly asian "Lynne Frederick" as in her role as Grand Dutchess Tatiana in the film "The Romanov's" and you are not far off. Sex was not automatic, she needed wooing in the room and warming up. A cuter baby face you never saw in your life. She was not the most talented performer, but that was part of the way she stood out. After losing her job in an advertizing company and throwing her engagement ring at a local guy who (shock horror) slept with another Girl, she rapidly adapted to a new method of putting food on the table, and frankly she was not very good at it.
Then along came good old Mikey who fitted the bill perfectly as a 'rescuer'. Two days after I leave, she goes to the supermarket, gets arrested in the street and deported to Uzbekistan and had to bribe her way out of jail leaving her penniless in Tashkent (a city known for its excellent welfare services).
Now, I know by now you are all nodding to yourselves and thinking 'What a fool'. But I have to say, I was fully aware of the situation and the likely outcome but the situation suited my needs. I wanted a long term, long distance, potentially very cheap relationship. I got it.
I waited until she was really desperate, I mean really bad. Then I flew over, bearing gifts, a mobile phone with international sim card and a credit card with a strict limit, and the rest, as they say is history.
Who played who the most? I don't know. The game, however was glorious, and I got the perfect sob-story to tell all my friends and business colleagues about the girl who 'worked in the hotel' in Dubai who now has visa problems and can't get out, blah blah blah. The advantage? I got to carry on mongering, and any time I wanted to feel like I was in a 'real' relationship I could go back to my 'real' woman waiting at home patently for me to rescue her.
Rescue did come. I knew the moment I made her comfortable, she would leave. An age gap of twenty years when you are forty is plausible. When you are closer fifty, it gets hard for her to look at you and not see a man that is just a bit too old. Plus, desperation makes men with money look a whole lot more attractive.
When I decided that she was asking for just a bit too much money on the card, I sent her to her dream city of Moscow. It took nine months there for her to decide, on my last visit there, this November) that she just could not do it anymore.
Interestingly enough, she complained about losing sex drive totally. Being a working girl has its long-time damage effects, especially if you did not plan on doing prostitution as a job. She gets really cold when any guy makes an approach to her. I was an exception, but even that faded, the more comfortable she got in her new life in sophisticated Moscow.
So she is free now, but lonely. Uzbeks (and frigid Uzbeks at that) who won't go on the game have a bad time in Moscow. There is lots of racism. My idea of a nice flat and their idea of a nice flat is mercifully different. However for a simple girl from the 'Stans' Moscow has been drilled in to them as the centre of the universe and they are lucky to be there. To a Western businessman it is bad food, bad hotels, Cyrillic alphabet everywhere and lifts (elevators) that make you sweat like a pig in the butchers, every time you use them.
Do I recommend it? Well, yes, I would do the whole thing again. Now it is less possible because in 2006 20 dollars would feed her for a week in Uzbekistan, but now feeds her for three days. Rent is 100 dollars a month for a one-room apartment and wages about 20 dollars a week for a young single girl. So for me, what was a cheap venture for the legitimacy of being a couple, bareback sex, some nice pictures and a girl that (quite literally) worshipped me as a savior and pumped my ego up through the roof every time I visited, it was a success.
For her, she got to live, got exposure to Western culture, got to escape the local guys (apparently that was mutual) and only had to have sex occasionally. It was a no-brainer. I honestly believe the affection she felt was genuine, in the sense that you can make yourself believe anything. Me and her alike, in that respect.
So the moral in the tale is that it can work, but it can be expensive and it only lasts until she no longer needs you. The thing is, don't keep her desperate forever, and set her free before she gets too old to enjoy the rest of her life. You have to pick the right one. A girl who is too hardened and too 'pro' won't fit the bill. Russian girls like that don't come to Dubai any more. Things are worse in the UAE and better in the CIS.
Above all, remember that this lasted longer than some 'real' marriages and was probably just as emotionally satisfying as any of my real long term girlfriends were. Also, the breakup was easier because I have been expecting it from the start.
There are other downsides as you get to know girls from the Stanis, They are super-superstitious. Even the educated girls are terribly prone to anything that 'people say'. They have their children making bracelets to ward off the evil eye. They only cut their hair on a full moon and are convinced that touching a cat in the street will kill you. They all smoke like chimneys and think it makes them healthier, they won't put their panties in the washing machine for fear that the chemicals in washing powder will make them infertile. Above all they are hard-headed and unwilling to change. They fear the West and yet they love the idea of the West. But they won't be happy there. It is almost impossible to get a visa for these girls to come into the EU unless they have a job with wage slips (I know – I tried and failed and even appealed in court. No wage slips, no bank account – no visa!).
So guys, if you want to do it, then you can, and it can work, in the broadest sense of the term, 'work'. But like everything in life, there will be a cost. IF you are willing to pay it both in terms of the inevitable tearful break-up and the ongoing cost. But the satisfaction of seeing someone else's life improve and the genuine excitement every time you go to see them, can be more than ample compensation.
