My Cherry Trip to Artemis
I recently went to Artemis. It was my first time there – or at any FKK club, for that matter.
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ARRIVAL.
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I took an Uber there from my Kreuzberg hotel, which was a little pricey, but then again I went during rush hour. Artemis is located near the western edge of Berlin, rather far from the center of town.
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I walked in and was promptly greeted by a cheerful desk clerk who first asked me to read a one-pager about Artemis's rules and procedures. I paid my entrance fee of 90 euros and was given two wristbands and a red robe.
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I walked into the men's locker room. In keeping with the FKK ethos, there isn't any privacy in there; you change and shower in the company of other naked men.
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Some other posts on this board have wondered whether the robes that are given out are color-coded in some way. The woman I eventually went with told me that was not the case, that it was just a random thing.
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I undressed and stowed my clothes in a tall locker that opened when I held my wristband in front of a sensor on the door. I put on the robe and stowed my wallet and glasses in a much smaller locker (about the size of a loaf of bread) located in an adjacent room. This, too, opened when it was in the proximity of my wristband. I selected and donned a pair of plastic sandals and headed for the bar, which is on the same floor (the second) as the reception area.
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The first thing I noticed is that there were a lot of delightfully naked sexy women lounging around there. I was struck by how good-looking and in shape all of the women were; I don't think I saw any I'the rank lower than a 7, but your mileage may vary.
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A few of the women walked up to me and asked me where I was from and suggested maybe I would like their natural tits and their tight pussies. Quite the sales pitch. I begged off, saying that I wanted to explore the place first. The women were amenable to that, but after a while I got a little tired of being propositioned so often so I went downstairs to the sauna / health club / pool / massage / hammam / gym area. While a few women came down there to chat up some of the men, for the most part it was more peaceful and freer from solicitation than the bar floor bar. There were two or three guys actually sleeping in lounge chairs by the pool.
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I went into the 90-degree sauna (there's also a 60-degree one) and worked up a good sweat. Then I rinsed off with a quick shower and a dip in the pool. At poolside I saw another guy getting what looked like an expert massage from a masseur there.
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I should add that the whole place seemed impeccably clean and well-run.
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I got myself a Sprite. Soft drinks are free; to drink alcohol, you must buy a 10-euro token. The selection of alcohol is small and limited to beer and shots; cocktails aren't on the menu. Alcohol seems to be deliberately de-emphasized in this place, which is probably a good idea.
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I started talking with Claudia, a Polish woman who'the solicited me earlier. She was tall, dark-haired, toned, and nicely built with natural tits and no stretch marks or tattoos. She later told me she was 35 and had no kids. That suits me fine because I prefer women of that age who know their way around a man's body. I asked her about anal and she said she did not offer it. But there was something that seemed to click with me about her so I decided to go with her anyway.
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She led me up to the third floor, which according to a sign at the stairs, is off-limits to unescorted men. We went into a good-sized room with a round bed in one corner. The bed was illuminated by warm, hidden spotlights, while the rest of the room was dimly lit. There were mirrors on both walls at this corner which gave a good view of the action. The setting accomplished the rare feat of being designed with sex in mind while not being tacky.
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THE BUSINESS.
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As we laid naked on the bed, Claudia explained what she offered. It seemed that there is a base fee of 70 euros and everything else a la carte, with separate specified charges for a massage, for a body-to-body massage, for prostate stimulation, for BBBJ, for CIM, etc. That was a bit of a buzzkill. It seemed to remove all possibility of spontaneity – and it could get expensive fast. Claudia said that these charges were fixed by the women who worked there, and that is confirmed on the Artemis website and by the info sheet I read when I arrived.
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Claudia was definitely a talker, at times verging on logorrhea. There was the usual prosser patter about how much she liked me, etc. , but she also talked about her work (she's been at Artemis for seven years), the war and the pandemic, her hometown, etc. After all that talk, I thought it was time to put her mouth to better use.
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I opted for a one-hour session with a massage and a bareback CIM blowjob with prostate stimulation. Claudia was very skilled and took it deep. She kept me on the edge for a long time until I erupted – and she didn't spill a drop. Truly one of the best BJs I've had.
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THE AFTERMATH.
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I put my robe and slippers back on and went back downstairs with Claudia. While she stood by, I opened the small locker with a wave of my wristband and pulled out my wallet. I didn't quite have enough cash on me, but there are ATMs conveniently situated right there. Unfortunately, they charge an absurdly high fee of $25. This fee might be lower for people whose bank deposits are denominated in euros. Oh well – lesson learned.
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I bought a drink token at the front desk, went into the bar, and grabbed a beer. I then retreated to the pool / sauna area on the first floor. After alternating trips to the sauna with dips in the pool, I decided I'the had enough. I found my way back to the men's changing area, opened the big locker with my wristband, and got dressed. An Uber came for me 8 minutes later. I also noted a number of taxis waiting in the parking lot.
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PARTING SHOTS.
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Artemis attracts guys from all over. I saw African, Asian, European, and North American men there. The women there were nearly all European—and hot. It's definitely run with German efficiency and attention to detail. The facilities are top-notch. Artemis is the nicest and most complete brothel I've been to.
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Of course, there's a price to be paid for that. Having mongered in the developing world for years, the prices came as a bit of a shock to me. I suppose that's to be expected. With transportation, the entrance fee, my one drink token, the base fee, and the optional extras fees, it's very easy to spend $300 or more. And if you go over budget, as I did, you then get hit with high ATM fees on top of that.
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I liked the overall concept of Artemis as a place to hang out, work out, bathe, drink, enjoy a massage and a sauna, and get laid. I would have enjoyed it a little more if I'the been propositioned by fewer women – it gets tiresome when you're just trying to chill or explore the premises. But the hey-babying was not nearly as oppressive as I've had it at some other brothels, so I suppose I should count my blessings.
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Would I return? Absolutely, just as soon as my bank account is ready.
Massages (and kissing too)
[QUOTE=TravisMcGee;2768306]As we laid naked on the bed, Claudia explained what she offered. It seemed that there is a base fee of 70 euros and everything else a la carte, with separate specified charges for a massage, for a body-to-body massage, for prostate stimulation, for BBBJ, for CIM, etc. That was a bit of a buzzkill. It seemed to remove all possibility of spontaneity and it could get expensive fast. Claudia said that these charges were fixed by the women who worked there, and that is confirmed on the Artemis website and by the info sheet I read when I arrived.[/QUOTE]Liked your report, even if the format was strange. You mentioned that a girl wanted to charge you extra for a massage. I like to get massages during sessions, and even bring my own special massage oils, but I have never paid extra for that (same for kissing which for me is far more satisfying when 100% spontaneous). I've had some girls deliver massages that were as good or better than a professional, and some that have been absolutely terrible, but never once have I paid extra for a massage (and never will). If I'm in the mood for one, then I will try to work it into the overall price that I'm agreeable to paying, and usually the girl will go along with that as long as she knows she's otherwise about to make some good money (I almost always go for hour sessions with anal). If they do insist on extra for a massage, then I will drop it, and otherwise would still go with the girl if she's up for doing everything else that I want. But like I said, I usually get massages without any upsell charge for them. And as for kissing, I don't even bring that up. That's not a "must have" for me like it is for a lot of guys. If it happens then it happens, we both wanted it, and I'm not paying extra for it! Glad you enjoyed your first FKK experience well enough to want to do it again. There are lots of FKK clubs around Germany (also in Austria and Switzerland but Germany is my fav FKK destination based on price and quality tutes). Artemis has been one of my steady favorite FKK clubs for many of the reasons you mentioned in your report. I know that a lack of spontaneity can be a buzzkill for a monger, but if there's something you really, really want in a session, then it's always better to ask about it up front rather than be disappointed and / or frustrated later, especially if it's something that a significant number of girls might not do (like anal sex). Welcome to the "club"!