"I'm a drunken idiot." Bogota Lay-over Report.
Ok folks listen to my story and I'm sure all of you'll be able to relate. I'm not one to criticise others for inflating prices because in my month in Colombia this January on two occasions I got so drunk that I was handing out pesos like an idiot. Here's what happened:
I fly through Bogota to get to Cartagena from canada the flight arrives late at night and its hard to catch the last flight to Cartagena so like before I opted to stay at a hostel for the night, I've stayed there before the Hotel El Dorado it's right near hostel platypus, it cost 20, 000 plus 5, 000 for guests.
I walked out of Eldorado airport around 10 pm I had pounded back 20 beers since they started serving on the plane luckily the Aguilas from the mall upstairs are nice and watery so I was able to keep functioning, I didn't get a taxi from the que because I'm 300 lbs 6'4 and do stupid things when I'm drunk. A paisa taxi guy agreed to 15, 000 to take me to the hotel in candelaria on the way I was explaining to him how I was gonna be doing a girl that night and he wanted to take me to the centro to show me where I should go he was selling me on La Piscina I agreed to swing by and see the place. Sure enough we started cruising around the two blocks of streets around La Piscina full of street walkers. I made him stop and I rolled down the window and called over a petite girl who in the night light and beer fog looked amazing. I negotiated with her for all night for 100, 000 she agreed but wanted me to bring her friend who was hiding in the shadows so we settled on 225, 000 but with all the photos I could take then we went to the hotel. My taxi was not happy he never dreamed I'd bring home street walkers I think he envisioned the meter running all night. We got there and the Hotel Dorado is a hole in the wall and the room was like a cell you can hear moaning and groaning from every room. The manager remembered me from the year before and was worried I'd get rolled by these girls, I told him don't let 'them leave unless I say so. Up in the room I asked the girls if they do drugs and they said NO! , . Then I said well if you do I don't mind I'll even buy you some, they were all delighted and then they wanted to. I gave one of them 20, 000 to go get some coke. We went outside to have a few more beers in the bar next door the other arrived with the coke and they each started to take turns going to the bathroom and doing it. I only got them the stuff cause I thought maybe it would make the night more fun, I guess it only does if you do it too. After about an hour in the bar they started blabbing and blabbing and blabbing we stayed there till about 3 am they each drank a bottle of agua ardiente I wanted to leave sooner but they kept wanting to stay until they each finished telling me their life stories and sang the lyrics of another 20 stupid latin rock ballads. I kept fondling the first petite girl because she was hotter and her friend seemed to be cool with the fact that I preferred her, I gave them some bull about being in Bogota for a month and we were gonna spend the month together. I spent easily 250, 000 pesos in the bar. Anyway we finally went up to the room to do the business and started with the photo shoot. I locked all my valuables in my suitcase so they couldn't rip me off while I was taking a dump. They both gave me BBBJ then I rode the hot one while the other fondled my balls when I wanted to do the other one who by the way started to look a whole lot hotter than my original choice she wanted to change the condom. This made the petite girl jelous and she started talking to my new favorite girl while I was riding her and I just wanted her to shut up. After I blew my load they really started to argue and she seemed angry. The two girls started blabbing again and the old favorite girl started crying and sobbing about her kids. That actually was what turned me off the two of them they had nice bodies and faces but they both had some nasty stretch marks. I'm sure all of you have seen how colombians get all nostalgic and weapy when they're loaded well add coke and a nice dose of rejection into the mix and you got Tom Power trapped in a candelaria cell with a couple of street walkers angry at the world. After some more agua ardiente my new favorite managed to calm down my old favorite and she pushed my head down to her box for me to dine at the y, . Yeah right, I just fingered her and she was moaning and suddenly the blabber mouth shut up cause she was carefully trying to slip the camera under her shoes. I saw it all. When we arrived at the room earlier we settled up I gave 120, 000 to each of them and it was hilarious how they looked at each other like they didn't trust each other not to steal. So when I saw my old favorite trying to steal my camera I got up and said ok ladies party's over! I actually had to physically push them out of the room. They hated leaving that room full of pesos. I could hear them downstairs yelling and screaming with the manager for what seemed like an hour. He kept coming up knocking on my door and telling me that the ladies wanted to talk to me. I said get rid of them and he explained that he was afraid they'd break the glass on the door. Sorry man what do you want me to do? A little while later he came back and told me the police were there and they wanted to talk to me, . Chr ist! So I went down and my girls are there yelling and screaming that I owe them money that I hadn't paid. I joked to the cop that this happens a lot gringos stiffing hookers in Bogota? I argued with the less angry one and from what I got is the petite one didn't have her money but the other girl did, it was all a scam, either one stole from the other or they were both in on it. The cops are useless he didn't say much he said pay her or come with us to the station. Faced with that I looked into the police truck and waved and what looked like the boss he came over and I invited him up to my room where I unlocked the suitcase and offered him 100, 000 to take those two wh ores and dump them some where far far away he had a big smile and shook my hand. Everything went quiet after that except for the moaning and groaning from the other guests. In retrospect it was probably the manager that called the police. The next day I had a huge hangover and I was easily $400 poorer I learned some valuable lessons ALWAYS pay at the end of a session never ever before! , skip the drugs it just makes them talk to much and threesomes are highly overated maybe it only works if you have a director like in the pornos directing things.
Remember, we're all in this together.
Tom Power
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7 photos
"I'm a drunken idiot." Bogota Lay-over Report. photos
Heres the photos of my drunken night in Bogota.