When a Gringo Closes the Bank
*** This is written especially for "I Love Chicas" ***
Years of experience in Latin America made me not amazed at the events of yesterday. It’s just another day in the life of a Gringo when we choose to close the bank.
My landlord, 2 lesbians (tortilleras, ) were informed of my last-month tenancy in their Managua, Nicaragua, casita (house, ) and took it like champs, until I inquired about my one-month security deposit. Lesbian #1 told me that security deposits are returnable after 3 months to ensure no damage was done to the property. Immediately I knew she must of thought I was some Gringo-fool she was gonna’ rob. She created some story and tried to justify this nonsense only to be told by me that "Homey Don’t Play That. " I called her very "unprofessional" and "crazy" for trying to promote such a policy. She defended her earlier claim about our rental agreement informing me that it said 3-months. She departed shortly after and I assumed we’d continue this banter over the next 4 weeks.
Within minutes the "man" of the relationship, Lesbian #2, runs over to my door banging extremely hard. Oh’ Drama. I open the door and she barges in shouting 95% in Spanish to leave, 5% in English "Get the Fuck Out. " They always know that phrase in Latin America. I speak Spanish as my second-language and hold a MBA earned 100% in Spanish, so they need to really did into their bag-of-tricks. Then she attempted to try and pack my possessions. I telephoned the police who maintain their station 2 blocks in-front of the house knowing they would never show-up. (Police don’t exist in Nicaragua due to a lack of funding.) After about 10-minutes of Lesbian #2’s dramatic performance things calmed down. As I told Lesbian #1, 3-months is unacceptable. They attempted to use that famous-angle of me being the Gringo don’t know their law, but USA law. I read their real estate law along with other legal codes 1-year ago and it’s actually more favorable to the tenant than the landlord. Nonetheless, I let them try and shovel that "malarkey. "
It turned out Lesbian #2 attempted to justify her "macho" because I called Lesbian #1: Loca (crazy.) After such a performance wouldn’t you agree? Instead, both may be considered Locas (crazies.) Again, I knew better as to this claim. Besides if this was the case Lesbian #1 should have informed me of her dislike immediately upon me calling her loca, not through some third-party, her "hench-woman. " But that was just another smoke screen ‘cause my concern is the security deposit which they attempted to promote via this 3-month idea. Furthermore, Lesbian #2 told me she could hold it as long as she wanted, 3-months, 6-months, 1-year. "You Gringo are at the total mercy of us and we can do what we want in our country" was said and in that tone. Again, I have years in Latin America and know the mentality of "Gringo Envy. "
In summation, I refused to pay rent as they can use my security deposit as my last-month’s rent. I called my lawyer who only costs about $50. I changed the locks so they cannot enter. They’re threatening to have the police evict me, but they’ll never show-up except to accept a Gringo bribe and they have no authority anyway. The law is on my side although the country is on for theirs. Understand I’m a Gringo and therefore my purpose is to give their fellow country-person money and to accept whatever they promote in every circumstance is the mentality of "Gringo Envy. "
When abroad, the world loves we Gringos for our (1) access to capital, (2) way of life, (3) and for being their "real-life" link to Americana. Nonetheless, the world has what appears to be, an embedded cultural trait which is "Gringo-Envy: " Hate the Gringo because we have what they dream about, but can't access. Build-up your own mis-managed country is always my suggestion.
There is this common misnomer that Gringos "can" afford everything, "it’s poco dinero, " and will pay whatever we have to because of (1) fear, (2) unfamiliarity of local law and language, or (3) our to avoid episodes earlier mentioned. "Homey Don’t Play That! " Police bribes, security deposits, "padded bills, " or whatever else requires me earning money to give to you (them) for your (their) personal desire is not permitted! We all have dreams and responsibilities and I’m not going to work everyday to pave their pathway for financial access upon their insistence.
We gringos rule the world; they know it; envy our status; desire to exploit our financial resources; yet despise our presence once their access to capital is denied or withdrawn. I’m curious what have been the experiences of other Gringos abroad in Latin America when the "bank" was withdrawn or the "dream of marriage" (I. E. USA citizenship) was revoked? I know it was the exact same. Despite this experience I still find much enjoyment residing in Latin America and will continue.
Important Fact for Renters: Most Latin American countries have the legal code where landlord eviction is difficult and time consuming. As in many USA states where it takes 6 weeks to legally evict via the court, in Latin America it may take years- "squatters rights. " Thus, don’t be intimidated on being evicted or the police arriving. Instead, be weary of their potential extortionist tactics. Obviously Spanish-speaking skills will be required as they will immediately begin "fast talking, " "yelling, " conversing with fellow-countrymen in an anti-Gringo manner, and deliver daily harassment until you leave the premises. Your other option is be financially looted at their desire.
[size=-2][b][u]EDITOR'S NOTE[/u]:[/b] [blue]I certainly hope that the author or somebody else will post a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please [url=http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php?]Click Here[/url] for more information.[/blue][/size]
