American Women

i went back and read all the posts on "american women." you guys sound like you've really been burned, and i'm sorry to hear that. it happens to women too though. i forgot who said it but someone mentioned that women are like little children and if you put up with their rotten behavior, they will keep giving it. that's it! i don't really think women are out to test guys, but if a guy doesn't put a stop to that kind of manipulative behavior, it continues. then, the woman doesn't respect the man, and vice versa. i get the impression that some guys are afraid of losing her, so they'll put up with anything, and that's where the problem starts.

brownie, you said, " not when you have to keep guessing what role she wants you to play and when." already your role is pansy (i'm not trying to be mean to you, but it's the truth). it's good to be flexible and to want to please women, but when you start really altering your behavior only to please her, you lose yourself and aren't true to who you are, and that loses respect with women, no matter what they say.

paddy, you said "the women in the us who know that i go to eastern europe to meet women also become very livid and irate with me when this topic comes up." okay, think if i said this, "i'm going to eastern europe to meet some real men because all the men in the us are either chauvinist pigs or wimps." wouldn't that put you on the defensive? if you said that you like to travel to eastern europe because you like traveling and meeting new people, and by the way, you just happened to meet a lot of very nice girls, only someone really insecure would take offense. it all depends on how you word it. if you say that you're going there because there are no quality women here, that obviously includes them, and i could see why they would be insulted.

sinanjumaster, it sounds like you've really been burned, and i'm sorry to hear that. please remember that there are millions of women in the us and just because a few are immature brats doesn't mean we all are. a friend of mine was raped a couple of years ago. it was devastating to her, and she's still in counseling. she is one of the nicest people in the world and i just want to hang up the guy by his you-know-what who did it to her. but she's slowly learning to trust again and is trying hard to realize that not all men are like that at all. you have to do the same. in fact, could it be that you're trying too hard? or that your past negative experiences are hidden just under the surface and women can sense that?

here's a question i have for you. do you usually get a definite sense of yes or no after you've gone out on a first date? sometimes i do, but not always. maybe women don't tell you that they're not interested because it isn't true. maybe they feel a tiny spark but not an overwhelming one. then later when any spark just hasn't materialized, you think that they were leading you on. i'm not saying that is what happened, but it's a possibility to consider.

you said, "actually, it's taught me to determine a loss before i waste my time with a double-speaking, fork-tongued "gamestress". i'm sure there are some women who play games. but i also think that sometimes men and women may interpret the same situation in different ways, and that might be contributing to your pain. i see you teeter tottering between two extremes, immediately putting up your defenses so that no woman has a chance and then getting rid of all defenses and leaving your heart open to beat in the raw.

okay, all women are different, but here's my prescription on how to attract the opposite sex while maintaining your own self-respect. you say that girls want men to be "exciting." well yeah, i mean, would you be interested in a "boring" girl?! be nice to her but don't be too vulnerable. don't ever bend over backwards to please her, it makes you look weak and kind of desperate, if you want to know the truth. at least in the beginning of the relationship, don't ask her to solve your problems. be flexible, but never give up your life for someone else. that makes us feel like we're responsible for your happiness, and that's just too big of a burden. think about it, would you be more attracted to a woman who a) is just stagnating in life, sitting around saying, "i have so much to give but no one to give it to, as soon as i meet mr. right, my life will be so perfect," or b) a woman who is currently happy and fulfilled. putting men in those situations, i'd much rather be with someone who leads a full life and is willing to make me a part of it, not someone who puts me at the helm and expects me to steer the vessel of his happiness and self-esteem.

(continued in next post)

(this is part 2)

Look at the guys who never seem to have problems attracting women. They're usually somewhat mysterious, in other words, they don't tell women everything. We read Nancy Drew mystery stories as children, and we want to find out what's inside! Be willing to please but not TOO much so. Do you really want to drive a girl crazy? After your first date, although I know what you really want to do (in most cases, anyway), don't attempt a good night kiss. Instead, kiss the back of her hand, and then leave without hesitation. It always works, and I'll tell you why. If the date didn't go so well, you prove yourself to be a gentleman of grace in the face of a not-so-great circumstance. If there were sparks, trust me, she'll be up all night and can't get you off of her mind! She'll wonder why you didn't try to kiss her on the lips. And, I know this will make no sense to you, you'll become more desirable. Guys are wired to want sex. So, if the date went well, she'll wonder why you didn't even at least try to kiss her on the lips! Make us want to know more about you.

There are millions of women in the US. There are some wonderful, sexy, brilliant, gorgeous ones and there are some ugly, man-hating, bitchy ones as well. Please don't let the latter get in the way of finding the real gems. As with any precious stone, sometimes you have to remove a few rough pebbles before you find the shining treasure. :-)

WOW! Something must be wrong with me! I instinctively wanted to punch holes in USBabe's analysis, but she was RIGHT

(accidentally continued from my previous post) WOW! Something must be wrong with me! USBabe, I instinctively wanted to punch holes in your analysis, but you were RIGHT on ALL COUNTS and I can't find anything wrong with your presentation! I'm gonna say something that I'll admit that I almost NEVER say to a woman:"You're right". In my defense (what little I have) whenever I've been to Europe, I've never had to labor to have female companionship (not necessarily sex). I was able to chat with the local ladies and not feel as if I were on the witness stand and being tested to see if I were somehow cloaking my intent or what have you. Here in the US, I feel as if I have to unnaturally keep on my toes and raise my shields. But since you so eloquently made your presentation, it made me think of actually BURYING the axe instead of just talking about it. Pass the Humble Pie, please.....

Yeah I wanted to put my two cents on the current discussion. First of all I would like to welcome USBabe to the forum. It's nice to hear a fresh feminine perspective on our topic of American women. USBabe, you were quoting me on one of my post in which I compared women to little children (but not in a derogotory way). One guy on here actually didn't understand where I was coming from so I'll explain it again. What I was trying to say is that if you spoil a human being, male or female, when you stop spoiling them they will get mad about not receiving preferential treatment. In another one of my post I stated that the American woman was a monster that the American man created.

Now what I'm about to say is not meant to offend anyone. I am not prejudiced at all but I must say this because it is the truth. America is basically a Caucasion nation. I mean it's mixed with a lot of races but white people started America. And the American model is to bend over backwards to satisfy their women. I really don't think it is only a racial thing. I think it's more of a monatary thing. I once stated on here that I read somewhere that the more succesful a nation became, the more power they gave to their women in terms of material gains. That is essentially what has happened in America. The reason I bring this up is because in other countries the men just don't treat their women like Americans treat their women. In a lot of these other countries sex is treated as nothing, just like sleeping or taking a shower.

The American man has elevated the American woman above himself when in actuality we all equal. I believe that in these other countries they sometimes go to far to the left and American men go to far to the right. What you have to do is find a nice equilibrium to how you treat women.

I am a black American male (pretty handsome one I might add, ha ha) but seriously I laugh at this whole situation as a whole: how black and white American men treat their women and how men in like Africa or Afganistan treat their women. I find it fascinating how we're basically all human beings but every nation has it's own unique WOMAN policy.

I'm about to go but let me add, I agree with USBabe not all American women are bad. But a lot of them have been socially conditioned to be idiots. And the women can't even see it. It's like the first time I went to Brazil it blew me away because, even though it's a lot of crime there, the people are nice. I mean everybody is. But they a socially conditioned to be that way. A lot of these foreign women are socially conditioned to be real feminine and sexy. A lot of American women are socailly conditioned to be real bitchy, moody, etc. Growing up I've never had many girlfriends; I figured out a young age that American women are basically acting moody, bitchy, etc. to get what they want and psychologically stay above men be seeming like they're not satisfied with nothing you do. Anyway I could talk all night about this subject as you can see, but the point that I must make is that a lot of Americans are SAD with the dating situation here. That's why I've given up on American women. You know that this situation is basically created one, because God made men and women to be get together and populate this planet. It's not supposed to be this hard; that's how you know something is wrong with this American dating model.

Sinanjumaster, you are very kind! You said, "I'm gonna say something that I'll admit that I almost NEVER say to a woman: 'You're right'." Could I get that in writing please?! I'm just teasing you. Actually, I'm not right, and I'm not wrong. I'm just relaying my experiences in life. I also know that quite often, people are easier to meet in some countries outside the US. When I travel by myself outside the US, men frequently approach me, but it isn't too often in the US. It's almost as if guys are scared or don't want to make the effort. If I were a guy and had been insulted by women much of the time when I approached women, I'd probably be a lot more wary, too. We tend to be somewhat of an uptight society, not only with romantic and sexual relationships but in general. In crowds, it's a fact of life that we get bumped or get our toes stepped on. Usually in Europe, people utter a quick pardon and go on their way, but too often in the states, people take it so personally, as if the other person had it all staged out, just to inconvenience them! I think the trick is to adequately protect ourselves yet not put up such a strong defense that it repels others. I really do think people sense negative vibes from others. And it's also hard to optimistic when you've been shot down quite a bit. To put things in perspective, I think of Terry Anderson, who was held captive for what, 7 years, or something incredibly long like that. Now, that is a guy who deserves to be bitter! But he isn't. We're a lot stronger and tougher than we give ourselves credit. Sinanjumaster, you sound like a cool guy. Please never give a girl the power of making you feel inferior.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! Curse you, USBabe! You're right, and pleasant and graceful! DAMMIT! Yer NOT supposed to be! Just kidding! What's scary is that this is one of those moments in time (in MY life, at least) where something of value actually STICKS to my mind and the undeniable conclusion seeps into my mind because I HAVE to accept the logic of it. To do LESS would mean that I am being ILLOGICAL, and to do THAT would mean that don't have a leg to stand on. On a more serious note, you've made me question my female-bashing tendencies, uncomfortable as it is. My ex (a woman with whom I'm actually still good friends) once asked me why I hate women. I told her I didn't, but maybe I did. WELL... I have some work to do, but luckily, a lot fo it was done FOR me. Oh yeah, my attorney is drafting up that written proclamation of me being wrong! LOL

Hi US Babe,

I never directly tell women here that I'm going to Eastern Europe to meet women there. It's when they find out from friends and others that the firestorm starts. I must say that the response of American women is both harsh and consistent.

I make no excuses for trips abroad. We live in a free and democratic society and I'm exercising my rights. Hey, none of these women went ballistic on me when I bought my BMW.

It's just that I find women in Europe to be so much more friendly and engaging. Just walking around Bratislava or Prague, for instance, the women are slender, fashionable and very striking. What do we have here? Countless numbers of seriously overweight women who have given up on their appearance in many instances. When the US Surgeon General says that obesity is an "epidemic" here in the US I believe it. I work constantly on staying fit and in shape and women here can do it too. I think that you get my drift.

I hang out at a bar in Prague that is frequented by Brits, Scots, etc. They tell me that if you see a fat, masculine women in Prague - she's an American. You know what? This harsh generalization is often correct.

Been busy for a while and no time to engage my buddies on this site. Hey Sin...Master, how's going?!

First of all, USBabe. Where are you located? Let's meet for coffee and check out the possibility. You sound nice. But first of all, I like tight, fit pretty babes below 27 above 5'8". Brains optional. :)

Hey, guys. Talking about American women. Just keep an eye on the fire at Pikes Peak CO. So, this evil ALLWiBo, (yes, for lack of better word, she is fat) who went about setting fire and burnt everything. So, the cops arrested her and her first line of defence was campers, careless smokers, hunters (the traditional woes of the left wing liberal feminazis). So, the cops confronted her with evidence that there was no smokers, no hunters, no campers, so she stated her ex- made her do it (at least the letter from the ex). So the cops again confronted her that there was no trace of burnt paper and a check with her ex reported that the guy never even sent her any letters. Now detectives found evidence that the fire was deliberately set. I am waiting to hear her third line of defence. As I said, this is so typical of gringo ALLWiBos, first blame it on men, second blame it on society, especially the Republicans, third blame it on repressed memory. It always work. Now, what is so intriguing is the judge would let her go on bail for a few hundred grand. This is typical of the liberal bench when every woman is judged to be "kind" and "nice". It's reported that the fat chick may be suicidal. Typical of liberal media, every woman is a victim of the society and even when they are caught in the act, they are so repressed by society that they can be suicidal. Well, tell it to the home owners who lost their hard earned property. So, guys, be careful with when you are with gringo women, especially ALLWiBos, they are going to burn you :)

nofatso, can you tell me what ALLWiBo means again? I'm sorry I haven't the strength to search for it, but I've been up ALL DAY busting my ass at work and research is NOT in my plans right now.

I have to respond to some of the comments started off by USBabe.

First, phil (Afro Bro), you may be handsome and nice looking like my main man Denzel, however to an American ALLWiBos, you are just another potential victim if you ain't careful with them. ALLWiBos are EEOC. Just check out Tom Cruise... oops, I am wrong Nicole Kidman is Aussie. Oh well, what the hell, Aussie women are just as bad. Yes, Aussie and American are all bad.

Now to Paddy. Of course, the gringo women are ballistic to know that you went to Europe. You are making a loud and clear statement (i.e. you voted with your feet w/o even articulating it). The statement is, to hell with your messy hair, messy dress, SLOB (Saggy, Loose, Obese Body) and most of all, to hell with your attitude, I have better babes to dig then waste my time on you. Check out contemporary American history, when American corporation moved jobs to another country or allow more immigrants in to diversify the labor pool, the labor union fought (yes, violence) big time. Until today, violence is on going in some old line industry. Not so much in technology trade. Bottomline is this, I believe in free society, free competition. Let's face it, if foreign men flood to America to get all these ALLWiBos, more power to them. But let's be serious, who would want to waste time on these ALLWiBos? I have a few Brasilian guy friends who told me American women are fat and ugly. I am like, hello!!!? Tell me something new plezzzzzz.

Now, guys, when even Tom Cruise, the guy with 10,000,000 easy laids is dating a Spanish woman, that's your take home message. :)

hey Master. Nice to see my buddy here again. Yeah, I been totally busy finishing up two deadlines. Got done and preparing my month long trip to Brasil.... :)

ALLWiBOS (alternative looking lady with wide Body Shape). the political incorrect terminology is UFC as in Ugly Fat Chick. I was like UFC dig KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicks). :)

Sinanjumaster, sir, you are utterly doomed. If you keep making a habit of opening your mind like this, one day a beautiful, intelligent, and charming woman is simply going to waltz right into your life. What on earth would the neighbors say? Your reputation as a woman basher would be utterly tarnished. We can't have that!

Here, I'll help you get back on track by describing myself. I'm 4'8", 350 pounds (I'm big boned), 69 years young, and the proud owner of a framed genuine US of A hi skool diploma! Now, get the %$#@! out of my way before I mace you because you're oppressing me and upsetting my delicate sensibilities.

There now, much better! Please excuse me now because I have a hot date with nofatso. We're meeting at the Cheesecake Factory for a few appetizers, entrées, and desserts. Then, he's taking me to Big Bertha's Abode of Bountiful Tents and Awnings and treating me to a whole new summer wardrobe! Oh, don't let him fool you, I know the kind of woman he likes. ;-)

Seriously, I have to catch a plane in the morning and probably won't have time to get online for a week or so, but I'll keep an eye out when I return.

...I've been out of town for a few days and I actually found a discussion in here!

First, welcome aboard US Babe. You're proof positive that there are many good women in the USA.

I truly think that the b*tches are the vast minority. The problem is that we are indeed too involved in our own selves. "I want this woman, she doesn't want me, she's bad." That's a very simplistic approach without even the slightest concern about the other person's feelings and point of view. Maybe the woman is NOT stringing you along, maybe she is deciding whether or not to have a relationship with you. Then, because of all of the baggage and negativity that you bring, she decides that you aren't the right one for her. Is that not fair? A bitter person hardly makes for a suitable life companion. Later, of course, you try to rationalize the rejection by saying that she wanted a rich man or a handsome man, etc.

Here's a little story: After a few rough situations with women, the man becomes resentful and then hateful. At that point, any hopes of a healthy romantic relationship are gone. Then, the man hits the road and leaves the country. In the foreign land, he feels revived. The women appear to be friendlier and the world is beautiful again. The man attributes this to some sort of deficiency in the US women and/or a superiority in the foreign women. But he is wrong. He feels so happy and alive because he is in a new environment, a fresh start so to speak, away from the place of countless rejections and heartaches. He finds himself free of the baggage that he carries, but never correctly attributes this to the real cause: He's left himself for awhile. He is free to be someone different because no one knows who he is. The pressure is off and he can finally be confident and comfortable in his own skin.
...Of course this is just a story...nothing like this is possible, right?

I've never had problems with US women. Like I said before, I am not the epitome of American beauty, but I've never had trouble finding a good woman. Why? Because I don't take this too seriously. I've been played for a fool just like everyone else, but so what? Am I going to sit around and feel sorry for myself for the rest of my life? Am I going to let this "woman" continue to affect me forever? Hell no. If I get played, I get played. I learn from my lessons and move on. I leave my emotional baggage behind because no woman wants to deal with that. I start new and don't assume that ALL people are this way or that ALL people act like this. I get the feeling that a lot of people here have never recovered from little Mary-Ann turning down your invitation to the homecoming dance. I know that it's easier to blame all of your shortcomings on other people, but if everyone you encounter leaves a bad taste in your mouth, maybe the problem is not the the rest of the world, maybe it's you.

Man, Nofatso..do you work for the "Brother" office supply company? I've never seen anyone use so many labels. What a fascinating world you live in...:)

Hey miller, welcome back. Nice to see all my buddies here. Master and Miller. all here. just like the old days even the old days was not too long ago. Nonetheless it's been fun.

Time out, miller, i think you and I have no fight. I am all peace. So, how about this? "No fight." Now, if you don't entertain my offer for peace, let's do it again? :)

USBabe. Sorry, thank you but no thanks. can't do. 350#? You got big bone alright.