American Women

Yeah, Lenin. You make some good points but don't be slagging on Rubbie. She is way cool.

'Sides, it get way too complicated in a gender and cultural way. Is RN trying to please everyone because she's a woman? An Aussie? A sometimes sex worker? A non-blonde? Is she really trying to offend everyone but just can't pull it off? The brain simply whirls for about four minutes, declares there has been movement of a tectonic level, and needs to sleep.

Man, JZ, you been drinkin' or something?

Awww shucks. Thanks DH for the compliment, and you Joe for your...errr...support? (I can't say for sure whether or not it was a compliment, but I at least didn't get the feeling that it was an insult. ;)) And trust me, if I was TRYING to offend people - they would know about it!!

I was just joking and trying to point out that RN's take on things here shouldn't exactly be lumped into one of Lenin's statements about American culture and how American men communicate, as she misses the basic requirements on pretty much all levels.

Not drinking, DH, but probably too long a work day in this instance, at about seventeen hours straight. (The problem with working on your own and setting your own schedule is that sometimes you've got to ignore the off switch and just get things finished.)

Lennin,

Being new to this board you have to understand and accept that RN is very highly regarded here and is a type of "cult" figure to many of us. Anything which might be construed as an attack against her will generate extreme reactions toward the person who initiated it. It's just a fact of life on this board and I respectfully request that you accept this reality.

RN has been a friend and confidant to many of us for several years now and her wisdom and insights have been greatly appreciated. Personally, I think that she's rather amazing and we very badly need a female perspective on this board.

As DH said, she's way "too cool" and doesn't deserve such treatment. Thank you.

That's me, Joe - always missing the point. heh heh

And Paddy - what the hell does a girl say to something like that??!! It's kinda cool how things have changed actually. A year or so ago, I had to watch everything I said. The second the 'token girlie' stepped out of line, I was jumped on by every man on the board! It's so nice to see it working in reverse these days. Thanks babe. :)

So anyway, Lenin - if we aren't supposed to be discussing people's physical or emotional short-comings (be they real or perceived), what exactly do you suggest that these American men 'communicate' about? How stupid/fat/ugly/clingy/rude/frigid/nauseating American women are? They have done that already, and it's not getting them anywhere! Don't you think it would be more helpful to actually join together and find SOLUTIONS, instead of just whining about the problems?

Hi guys and RN, my flight is leaving tomorrow night to Rio. I just want this day to be over so I can get on that flight. I also hope I don't get snowed in by the snowstorm coming up.
DH, I do have plans to leave in the next three years. I have 2 years experience in my job at New York but I need at least 5 years experience to have a much better chance of being employed elsewhere so I have to tough it out for 3 more years. I live away from my parents but my landlord jacked up the rent another 25%. I started off paying $1200 a month but now I pay $1500. I might have to move back with my parents so I can save enough money in case I don't find a job when I do relocate and I can live off the interest of my savings or use the money to start a shop. I don't want to go elsewhere penniless because that would really suck. Also, after three years of this "jail sentence" in New York, I want to move out of the USA. You mentioned that you are going to expatriate. I need advice on how to do so. I would like to move to Brazil.

Darkseid -- have a blast on your trip. And while I empathise with your desire to expatriate, don't confuse New York with the US as a whole as part of the equation. Not every place has the same level of pressures around status, looks, money, etc. Those things exist to some extent everywhere in the world, so some of it's a matter of degree and surroundings.

And RN, we'll still spank you when you're bad -- it's just that understanding that you're probably going to say, "harder, harder!" takes it to a different level :D

Dark,

Living in NYC is a jail sentence? Consider yourself lucky . . . and take advantage of all the possibilities there. No shortage of Chinese or Asian or Latino women. If I can have a short, Chinese girlfriend why can't you?? . . . What are you looking for? Unhappiness? This is what Miller2K was trying to tell you. You are surrounded by every shape, type and race of woman in this world. Yet you focus on the negative, both about yourself and about women. This attitude will turn chicks away fast . . . and you will blame it on your height or race . . . never realizing it was your lack of confidence and negative attitude that was the real problem.

You will someday move from NYC and soon realize, "What the fuck was I thinking?" You are in a GREAT place now. Unbelievable options and every type of woman imaginable. Obviously, it is easier for an Asian guy to date Asian women . . . for a short guy to date shorter women . . . for a middle class guy to date middle class women. Maybe you are only attracted to women who will reject you? If so, try to get over it. But where you live, is NOT the problem. Trust me. - P

Darkseid, I thought you posted that you lived in your parents' apartment building. Maybe I misunderstood what you said. If that is the case I apologize, especially since I have been complaining about being misquoted.

On the ex-pat thing, I did suggest to Jackson that we start a topic on that. I am fortunate enough to have rigged things up where I can do all my work in a compressed time frame and I know that is hard to do. I guess a tax accountant could probably do the same thing, or someone else with a seasonal job. My job isn't really seasonal per se; I am just going to kill myself for a few months a year so I can pull this off. And, I have been warned that if my performance suffers, permission will be revoked. So, it isn't really full expatriation; I couldn't find a way to make the money work for that right now without being too poor to enjoy myself fully. My profession is one that would be difficult to do in another country even if I could legally work.

PK, I did find a BA post where I said, "I could make a lot more money if I weren't a lazy, pussy obsessed Dickhead." That just means I could not take the corporate world and all the long hours and stress that went with it, not that I want to work as little as possible. But, certainly taken at face value it could definitely give that impression. Basically I opted out of the workaholic lifestyle that most of the people in my profession have embraced and now I have been out of the loop for so long it would be hard for me to get hired at another high-powered job. But I have been working pretty much full-time and when I haven't its been due to not enough work available. My new, compressed job will be the equivalent of 3/4 of a full-time job jammed into 4 or 5 months so that should certainly keep me out of trouble.

Also I want to stress that my decision has more to do with politics and lifestyle issues than it does with American women, although that is certainly a third factor.

I am actually halfway moving back to my parent's apartment since the property tax hike that the stupid mayor of NYC Micheal Bloomberg passed on the landlords since last year. My lease for that apartment is not up until April so I am still living there and paying the $1500 a month. Just last year the rent was $1200 per month. My parents just had a tenant that just moved away so I have been moving my stuff into that apartment. Some of my stuff is in the apartment in my parent's place and some is in the place I live now. Rent in NYC is ridiculous especially since this property tax hike which NO one got a chance to vote for. I will completely be moved in on April just to save money to expatriate. My parents is going to charge me $200 a month to cover maintenance cost and nothing for rent. That will cut $1300 a month for my expatriation fund.
Also, we should start an expatriation forum on this board. This will discuss finding jobs or starting buinesses there, living expenses, etc.
PK, after I leave NYC, I will have no regrets. Not only would I not miss it, I would like change because this city has gotten too old on me anyway. Even the very fact that I am sick and tired of living here all my life would drive me away. And as for available women, there is much less here than you think. In fact when I go to clubs, it is like a sausage factory and when I do find a woman I like, I have to fight over her with other guys. Also, the number of available man ads outnumber the available women ads in the love personals. So women in NYC have become more finicky in this environment. This is why I travel a lot and call NYC a "jail sentence" because I know it is hopeless here in NYC and it takes a lot of luck to meet a woman here. I was wrong about equating NYC with the rest of the USA. Hey, I hooked up in Las Vegas and if I would have spent more time in Ohio, I could have hooked up there. But I have many other reasons besides the women to expatriate from America. Among those reasons is the fact that we are the first on everyone's shit list. September 11 scared the living daylights out of me. What if the terrorists want to dirty bomb NYC? I would have to leave a lot earlier than I anticipated then.

On the subject of expatriation, I had some interesting conversations in Buenos Aires last month. I met a guy in the hotel bar and was talking with him in Spanish. All of a sudden another guy walked in and they began speaking perfect English. Turns out the first guy was an Hispanic American, both parents born outside the US but moved there at an early age, and neither retained fluency in Spanish. Nor did this guy grow up learning much Spanish. He got a hair up his ass (due, he said, to dissatisfaction with American women) and decided to move to Ecuador (where one of his parents was born) to teach English. I said I had often thought about that but didn't think my Spanish was quite good enough. He proceeded to tell me about how he spoke hardly any Spanish when he started out and that in his opinion it wasn't necessary and even undesirable. I am not sure I agree with him, but it was an interesting point of view. He was on his honeymoon with his Ecuadorean wife and she was hot, hot, hot.

Then I talked to a bilingual Argentinian guy who runs an English school down there. He said his business has actually gotten better since the economy tanked down there. His explanation was that families see English training as a good investment in their kids as a way to differentiate them in a weak job market.

So giving English lessons may be an idea for earning money as an ex-pat, even for those whose second language isn't all that strong. I may take a stab at it.

Hell, Darkseid, your $1300 a month savings is like close to the average per capita income in Brazil so you should be down there in no time.

PS, I think our pal Miller2k gives English lessons in Mexico. Anyway somebody over there posted some stuff a while back about doing that.

RN you are little bit exaggerated, I didn’t accused you are liar.
Please don’t take anything personal because I am not against you.
I am against ideas that directly or indirectly hurt the men.
Probably before criticizing you I should first told you few complements
like many guys doing here, otherwise it looked rude.
My idea was that instead of looking in root of the problem you are
sometimes trying to look at the problem from such angle that
the problem become not serious.
I don’t see how it could help American men get out from this sh*t where they are now. It is a real war between men and women, war for power and money and a lot of men killed in this war. American men loosing it even without understating that is going on. We should look at all option available doesn’t matter women like this or not.
After I sow some of your posts, especially how you critiqued the Alex I realized that
You actually on women side of barricade may be even without realizing it.
Paddy, I understand what RN here "cult" figure. But I don’t think it is reason
that she cannot be criticized. Actually it is even worrisome fact because if women become "cult" figure among the men then American men have matriarchal brain.
It is mean that American men have one more problem.
RN, last you idea very interesting:
“Don't you think it would be more helpful to actually join together and find SOLUTIONS, instead of just whining about the problems?”
Actually I am trying to keep discussion in this direction.
Just what I am not understand how you a being women going to give us
ideas against women or if you will then until which limit?
It is theoretical question, again, please, don’t take anything personal.
Sorry if I cannot answer your posts soon because I am going to busy.
I’ll come back after while.

Well... darkseid certainly exudes negativity but there is one thing you have not considered: darkseid is an asian male in America.

Asian men in America are at the absolute botton of the ladder when it comes to getting women. Not their own fault, but there are other forces at work.

You mention that there are lots of women in NYC. Well what the hell good does it do him if none of them date Asian men? Asian men are the least desirable to women in the US. Not EVEN Asian women want them. Plus, it sounds like he is US raised so Asian women born overseas will probably not like him much.

When I say Asian I mean "oriental looking" (sorry that term might be offensive). Not South Asians who don't seem to suffer from the same disadvantage (I am South Asian).

Still, all of you white, black, and Hispanic men do not understand what he is going through.

And, I have a white friend in NYC who also says that the dating scene sucks ass. Golddigging bitches. "Rent or own? Rent? Next"