American Women

Oh man FU, that is a bad deal. Sorry to hear that. I love to eat pussy even more than I love to get blow jobs. Giving pleasure gives ME pleasure, and I'm a total dickhead and an innately selfish asshole, so I would assume that many other more compassionate humanoids enjoy giving pleasure as well.

But it's interesting because I know there are some guys who don't like to eat pussy. In particular I have had a lot of black guys tell me that over the years. I had one black guy tell me, "If you had a dick like a brother, you wouldn't NEED to eat pussy." I tried to explain to him that I LIKED to eat pussy and I just don't think he believed me. Same thing in Méjico; I am very popular down there because I go right down and a lot of gals tell me their boyfriends won't chow down.

Dunno FU, but I don't think the relationship has a future if she ain't gonna gobble the goober. I assume you've tried applying mass amounts of alcohol?

Yes... alcohol has been liberally applied. The problem with alcohol is that she gets so horned up that she just wants me to give her some pipe. One day when I tried to go down on her she asked me where I was going and why I wanted to do it.

This is frustrating for another reason: I'm not exactly Mr Longevity on my first pop. I've tried using condoms with desensitizer in them but they literally knock him out. So I'm stuck with maybe ten or fifteen minutes of not so fast humping before I'm drained... I'd really like to stay at the party later and a return trip is not usually in order.

And lets not forget about that one week per month when I get nothing at all.

I know there's girls out there who enjoy nobbling on the gob... but I sure can't seem to find them.

I agree with you on the eating concept. Every girl I've been with has been grateful and says I'm NOT in the majority... but they're still selfish and refuse to return the favor. I dream about having the spit or swallow dillema with my GF.

And yes... the relationship is over. I like her, and having a warm body to sleep next to, but I just can't compromise on sex... it's too ingrained in my nature (thanks Dad :) )

I'm with you, Dickhead. Figuring out what makes her squirm and pant is part of the thrill, let alone the pure sensory experience.

FedUp -- you might ask her if that applies to all such situations, such as giving someone else a backrub or massage, or just doing something nice for someone else. Can she understand how a man can get pleasure from sucking on her breasts? If she can't see how those things can give pleasure, then it's time to run away, fast, as this sounds like a relationship in which everything will need to be negotiated (sorry, I get no pleasure from doing the dishes so forget it -- and that's a gender neutral reference) and if she can see it then time to really have a frank talk about what really bothers her. It would also be interesting to hear her take on mutual oral, as there the pleasure equation's a bit more direct.

ok so on the longevity issue: i don't think desensitizing condoms are the way to go because that will exacerbate the situation when you don't use them. do you know about the "squeeze technique"? what this involves is you or a non-selfish and willing partner squeezing the bottom of the joy stick at some point not too much prior to the "point of no return." you do this a few times and then you will develop a sort of "vapor lock" where you will be hard but don't feel like busting a nut just then.

disclaimer: i've never had that issue and so have not tried this, but it's in the literature and i lived with a sex therapist for a while; she claims it works good and i am not aware of any particular dangers or side effects.

on the other hand, when you say a second round is usually not in order, i think you will find that once you find a woman who likes to suck, a second round will be in order. by this i mean two things: a) whenever i get blown to completion i immediately want to fuck til completion, and b) sometimes after round 1 the little son of a ***** is just lying there, but when suction is applied, he rises to the occasion.

i am 45 now and i can get it up just as good and just as often as i ever could, but sometimes i can't get it off, especially when condoms are involved. that often works to the woman's advantage but sometimes leads to her just getting the snot pounded out of her to no real avail. what i do find at this stage of the game is that if the woman is bitchy or disinterested or smells like a carp farm, the little son of a ***** just rolls over and dies, so this may be part of your issue regarding round two.

Oh and WTF is up with this no sex one week per month? Is that her or you? Dickhead will wade in the red river any time. It's nice and warm and adds moisture. The only real issue is that tampons dry things out. The solution? A good old fashioned diaphragm. That dams up the red river without drying up the creek bed. A lot of gals have told me over the years that they like sex during their period cuz orgasms help the cramps; I've even been told that just getting pounded is helpful even if they can't come that way.

If you use the Dickhead Diaphragm Dam, you may even find yourself in the mood for a light snack ...

Hi guys,
I've been lurking here for quit a while now, with mixed feelings as the sex situation in my country isn't as bad yet as it is in yours and most girls I bedded were or became great lovers. But as the US way of life is spreading all over the world, our girls get formatted just the way your remotely female lardballs are. So I'm more than worried there.
Dickhead : seek out a book by Jolan Chang, it's called The Tao of Love and Sex, I found that 15 years ago and it totally turned my sex life around. The compression technique you mentioned was mentioned in the Kinsey & Masters Report, but it's really beginners stuff, believe me. There's more to learn in that area, and that's when fun begins.
As for oral delights, have you ever tried getting in position for a sideway 69 ? Once you start your part, I found out that most can't help returning the favor.
RN : I read your posts on this forum with much pleasure. You truly are a lady.

Yes, read that book many years ago and recommend it highly to Fedup and others. What do you mean about "sideways" soixant-neuf vs. any other direction? Isn't sideways the most common way to do that?? Isn't that why it's "69" as in two spoons in a drawer?

I think you mean EITHER Alfred Kinsey OR (Virginia) Masters and (William) Johnson. I don't think Kinsey wrote with either Ms. Masters or Mr. Johnson.

The only thing that could possibly be better than 69 is 68.

FedUp, its only illegal if you pick up a streetwalker but there are tons of escort services and I have never paid more than 140 Canadian dollars for an hour in Montreal plus the strip and massage parlours also offer sex and the quality is quite good. French Canadian women are a hidden treasure. "Cold fish" you say??!! I would love to hear what your idea of "hot tamale" is. The Quebecois women are much different than women in the rest of Canada and the US, they're more laid back with regards to sex and they seem to enjoy it without little sense of guilt. Although they're not as sexually assertive as their European and South American counterparts. I would say Vancouver's scene is a little iffy but Montreal is the sex capital of North America.

Phillipe, yes and no about the US way of life abroad changing the sex lives of people. When you mean by the US way of life, do you mean the increase in capitalist and free enterprise activity abroad? To be fair, people around the world want that comfortable "US way of life", we're not shoving it in people's faces. People simply want it, to have economic prosperity and affluence, who in the world doesn't like money?? I spent the early 80's in West Germany and that country at the time was as 'American' as you can get, by that I mean it was highly capitalist and it still is to a degree, The Netherlands is quite businesslike as well, so is Scandinavia, but attitudes towards sex and romance are still much different than they are in America, for example Denmark is SUPER RICH, yet the women there still seem to be quite loose and friendly. Just my input.

CBGB, parlez-vous Francais? Je regrette, mais je ne parle pas. Would that affect my experience and the price I would pay if I did go to Montreal? I have an opportunity to get as far as Niagara Falls for free next month.

I hardly speak a word. The Quebecois women are not as Anglophobic as their counterparts in Paris, some women speak some English but it wasn't a problem for me I just wanted some rumpy pumpy. As for street hookers, the cops can't arrest you just for looking at them. FedUp is right, if a cop feels like being a dick he could write you up for soliciting a street hooker. The women on St. Catherine Street in Montreal are good quality women, they're not the crack *****s I bump into in New York. The women in looks average 6-7, with many solid 8's and quite a few 9-10's in the mix. But with the legal situation on street prostitution, its at your risk basically. If you want to be 100 percent safe just use the escort services, as long as she comes to your house or hotel room its OK. Personally I just use the escort services, strip clubs, and incall *****houses in Montreal, there are tons of ads in the Mirror paper. Dickhead, i got news for you, Quebec women know how to give blowjobs, often they do it without the rubber, they know how to suck dick like no one in our hemisphere. Note the word hemisphere. hee hee!!! Niagra Falls? Toronto has some stuff but I think its too overpriced. Its also a lot further away than Montreal from NY, almost a 3 hour difference.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by CBGBConnisur
[i]IDickhead, i got news for you, Quebec women know how to give blowjobs, often they do it without the rubber, they know how to suck dick like no one in our hemisphere. Note the word hemisphere. hee hee!!! Niagra Falls? Toronto has some stuff but I think its too overpriced. Its also a lot further away than Montreal from NY, almost a 3 hour difference. [/i][/QUOTE]

I have no reason to go to Niagara Falls per se but I have the opportunity to hitch a ride on a private plane. Toronto been there done that. Escorts are too expensive and you can't see the merchandise before it shows up. Streetwalkers are too dangerous. I like brothels or w h o r e houses or whatever you want to call them, or hookers that hang out in hotel bars.

Now by "our hemisphere" do you mean northern or western? Some women I have met in "our hemisphere" could suck a bowling ball through a Dixie straw.

I mean the Northern Hemisphere, the women down in Rio though take the cake for the Southern Hemisphere. Still, sex with the Montreal hookers is a world above what I find in the States with regular women and hoes. In Europe its almost 2 worlds above.

Guys,

This one I have heard but never tried personally.
Basically before starting a BJ she fills her mouth with water. Then she starts taking the dick in her mouth being careful that the lips make a perfect seal around it (no drops left out).
She starts the job and once you come she drinks everything all together;
I heard it's great if instead of water you actually use sparkling water, or rum and coke, etc.

Disclaimer: if your partener drowns or throws up I had nothing to do with this idea.

Fedup: this could be a way to dilute the nut, maybe that would be more acceptable.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by stranger99
[i]Guys,

This one I have heard but never tried personally.
Basically before starting a BJ she fills her mouth with water. Then she starts taking the dick in her mouth being careful that the lips make a perfect seal around it (no drops left out).
She starts the job and once you come she drinks everything all together;
I heard it's great if instead of water you actually use sparkling water, or rum and coke, etc.

Disclaimer: if your partener drowns or throws up I had nothing to do with this idea.

Fedup: this could be a way to dilute the nut, maybe that would be more acceptable. [/i][/QUOTE]

ROTFLMFAO right now but ... blow job with a mouth full of ice cubes good. Hot tea blow job good but let it cool off some (really nice gal I met in NZ did this last year). Sparkling water good for blow jobs. Blow job while your nuts are soaking in warm water good. Blow job while your nuts are soaking in ice water .... I didn't like it but YEMV. However, blow job involving sugared carbonated soda BAD cuz very sticky and that kinda makes your pubic hairs get stuck in her mouth and that tugs in a bad way. Also alcohol burns. Even a red wine blow job I found uncomfortable. White wine better cuz less acidic. And any gal who can maintain a perfect seal the whole time is way too controlling for me. Nothing wrong with a bit of dribbling.

Your loyal servant Dickhead has tried blow jobs with fine brandy, blow jobs with diluted cocaine (this does slow down the process but who wants to turn a blow job into a felony), Kahlua blow jobs (VERY sticky), champagne blow jobs (sticky but nice and bubbly), hot fudge blow jobs, strawberry jam blow jobs, whipped cream blow jobs and most of the above in the reverse direction. Do NOT use high proof alcohol (151 rum very bad idea) and be careful if you use sticky stuff and then fuck afterwards as this can lead to skin tears. Also be careful if you apply ice directly to the clitoris; maybe put the ice cube in a condom or a latex glove or something.

A good old fashioned hot water bottle is handy for hot liquid games and ice cube games. Also if you take a battery operated dildo and put it inside a condom or a latex glove, you can then put THAT inside a hot water bottle full of either ice or warm liquid and that's pretty good too. The wrapping has to cover the entire surface of the dildo. Otherwise it shorts right out! Do NOT do that with a plug in vibrator = very bad. Another trick is for her to hold a vibrator on the outside of her cheek while she blows you = GOOD. Also works on the front of the throat but this makes a lot of gals gag = BAD. Bottom side of the chin usually good.

A natural reflex for most gals is to relax their lips when you start to come so expecting "no drops left out" is unrealistic if she has a large volume of liquid in her mouth to begin with, so "less is more" in this situation.

Next week's class: Fun With Curling Irons

Stranger99, that is some fucken sick ass shit. No wonder they kicked your ass out of Europe.