American Women

nofatso and Dickhead:
I don't even bother with American women anymore. Of the women of the world they positively rank at the bottom in terms of fun, looks, and personality, down there with the British and Irish. By the way I'm guy who loves to have a relationship with a woman and not just sex contrary to what USBabe said. I find it hard to keep up with most American women, most women I know are often to obessed with their careers to pay attention to their romantic lives. On one occasion I left work in the middle of the day to buy my old girlfriend flowers and left them on her door, and she called me almost a week later to acknowledge that she got my flowers. She made an excuse that she was too busy to talk to me. What a b*itch!!! You try to do something sweet for someone and they just spit in your face. This is typical of American women. Often, when I go into a social mixer and get introduced to a woman all they talk about is their job and career and then they just keep asking me about my job and where I went to school and where I plan to be five years from now. It seems as if they are looking for a guy that has a lot of money and success or will have a lot of money and success. There's never any talk about one's loves in life like music or art, or places in the world. In other countries women seem more interested in me as a human being and not as a money making machine. I was in Hungary last year and I met this gorgeous lady who was just amazing. We went into a long conversation over our loves in life. She couldn't care less about what I did for a living and how much money I had, she was more interested in my passions and fantasies. This is the typical European lady. They are often less materialistic and often less selfish than US women. Another thing about her was that she was extremely beautiful, I mean twice as beautiful as some of the most beautiful American women. She had a sexual energy that was hot, I mean hot. At the same time, she came off as a soft hearted person who liked sensitive, gentle men. I myself am a nice guy and am really soft at heart. She really digged the fact that I'm a softie and not a macho jerk. Thats another plus for dating in Europe, women tend to find softness and sensitivity in a man sexy and irresistable. In contrast, most American women want a rugged, physically strong, and assertive macho man who always goes after what he wants and gets it. Another important aspect of this lady was that she was open minded, especially with regards to dating someone of a different race. I happen to be a Hispanic with dark features, I find that in America it is often difficult to date someone of another nationality. I used to have a girlfriend who was Irish-American, who often behaved differently, she wouldn't openly display affection and wouldn't give me eye contact when we were out in public. Also people gave us funny looks, which I found distressing since we lived together in a culturally diverse and socially liberal city. This Hungarian lady wasn't really concerned about my skin color. She didn't care that I was of a different nationality and culture from hers. On the contrary, she found me intriguing and exotic. I was able to be myself with this lady did not have to pretend to be someone that I am not. Just my own personal opinion on this issue.

Fatass, don't let the facts get in the way of your analysis. There were several survivors of that wreck in which the female firefighter was driving. Just compare the driving records of women and men, any way you want to, and women are safer drivers. You need to get your hand off your dick and your thumb out of your ass and take an elementary statistics course. Three non-randomly selected events do not make a useful sample. Plus, you ain't funny. Go soak your head in a tub of SlimFast.

CBGB, I hear you and I feel your pain. I have the opposite problem. I am pigmentationally challenged ofay white bread and prefer darker skinned girls, especially Hispanic girls. I have pretty good success getting them to go out with me but they are reluctant to bring me home to Mom and Dad. That is fine with me, great in fact, but what I don't like is the bullshit excuses they give when I know what's going on. Dickhead did not just fall off a turnip truck.

Man, I am really getting to like my Dickhead persona. It's like an alter ego of sorts. I live a double life as it is. By day, a short-haired, clean-cut, straight-looking white collar professional in a helping profession but secretly stoned most of the time. By night, a debauched, dissolute, deviant Dickhead. Then on my *****mongering vacations, a sedulous, serious slave to history, architecture, and culture by day. By night, a sexual sybarite seeking sensuous sylphs, curvaceous commercial concubines, and random rapacious roadside relief.

With apologies to Winston Churchill, I find American women to be a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, but foreign women to be almost as exciting as war and quite as dangerous. And like Sir Winston, I have nothing to offer a woman save blood, toil, tears, and sweat! Well, maybe a few other bodily fluids as well, but only as a reward for a job well done.

Hi CBGB,

Excellent posting and dead on correct. I, too, was startled by how genuine and wonderful women in Europe are and particularly those in Eastern Europe. It's a whole different reality there.

I honestly feel badly for all of the great guys in America who have to struggle with the overweight and bitchy women here. Until I began to hang out in Prague, I thought that this is how women naturally are. It also made me kinda sad because of all the years I've wasted on American women. Wish I could have all of those years and all of that money back.

Like you, American women are off my radar screen now and forever.

Dickhead
You should take some statistics. There are far more men driving then women. Don't tell me acturary science. Try this Mr. Head, call your State Farm tomorrow and tell them you no longer drive to work and on average, you only drive a couple thousand miles a year. Right there, you become a "safer" driver. So, when insurer states that "women are safer driver", it relates to acturary statistics that women drive much less than men and when they drive, they drive much shorter distance. However, when it comes to killer arsonists, (examples I stated), it's all women. Last but not the least, the accident in Colorado involved four deaths, isn't it? So, you want everyone to be killed before you are convinced that women are arsonist killers? Of course, I don't mind to meet you for lunch to educate you on this. That is truly a lunch and involves no rooster sucking :)

You didn't find me funny? Good! my intent is to save the huMAN race from these killer gringo women, you think this is Comedy Central? HELLOOOOOO! No wonder, the ***** said "is lunch just lunch...." Apart from statistics, you also need to learn spit on these bitches. :)

GBGB
You have just documented another crime against huMANity. That white canine disrespected you and she is a racist. When it comes to racism, gringo men and women are sure one from the same snake pit. Dark skin or fair skin hispanics, who cares? You were her date and she HAS to RESPECT you. Don't tell me you live in one of those "fly over states" or the south. Better move out. I have lived in many parts of the country, in terms of racial tolerance and interracial dating, I find the Pacific Northwest or Bay area the most tolerant. LA is not bad but still, tremendous racism in many areas. I am not hispanic or black but I can tell from my observation. So, if you are in those yahoo states, better move out. Also, in this internet age, racism like this truly unthinkable. This is what I will do GBGB. Next time you see a racist *****, don't confront her, just date her. Take her home, feed her, give her some good xxxx and then spit on her and kick her off your house. That's the best treatment for a racist canine. :)

Paddy.

You are right. Again lay the truth out simples verdade.
You have not mentioned one issue about gringo fat chicks. If you ever have a relationship with them, you have to worship them big time. I have know enough friends who are dating or married to gringo women (some are fat some aren't). One common theme is, whenever there is an important life choice, as in relocation for career, as in having babies, as in going places for vacation, some times even if the guy wants to bring me into the house for dinner..... all these the guy has to call in and ask for "permission". Now, that's the part I can't deal with. If I am the breadwinner of the family and I pay all the bills, when it comes time to relocate to better my career, I go! I don't have to plead with the canine and convince the canine. If I want to bring Joe home to join us for dinner, I will just call home, "hey, make additional portion for Joe, he is coming over for dinner..." Nope, all my buddies will be calling home like, "hi, honey, da da da da da can I bring Johnny home for dinner? would it mess up your schdule.... da da da??" I was like, are you a slave or a MAN? Stand up, be a MAN! The most amazing thing was last week, my work partner quit on me and left with his share of work, his excuse? Wife is got a cold and he is going home to take care of her. I am just thinking, if one of these days I got horny and wanted to go out and Fxxx some *****. Could I just leave my work to my partner stated that I am horny and need some bom bom? Gringo ***** ain't worth the toilet water...... :)

Good news for Modern MEN!

what this news story state is this. 1. preserve your asset and cash from your g/f or ex 2. women after 30 is like leftover pizza and 3. don't worry about age. as long as you keep your health and $$$, pussy are there ALL THE TIME. :) I am a happy man!

Study: 'Guys can afford to wait to marry'
June 27, 2002 Posted: 11:19 AM EDT (1519 GMT)

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- It's official. Men really are afraid of commitment.

Confirming what women have long known, an American study released on Wednesday shows men are dragging their feet on getting married.

Researchers say one of the biggest reasons that men are delaying marriage is that more and more couples are choosing to live together before marriage. As a result, sex -- traditionally one of the main reasons for men to marry -- is relatively easily available, they say.

"In a sense, with cohabitation he gets a quasi-wife without having to commit," said David Popenoe, co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University in New Jersey.

"Another big thing in addition to cohabitation is that these men are very, very concerned about divorce. It's not getting your heart broken ... the worst thing that could happen is that somebody could take their money," Popenoe adds.

The preliminary findings report on the attitudes toward marriage of 60 unmarried, heterosexual men, between the ages of 25-33. The participants, from different religious, ethnic and family backgrounds, were from four major metropolitan areas in northern New Jersey, Chicago, Houston, and Washington, D.C.

Researchers say both men and women are putting off getting married. The average age for men's first marriage is now 27, the oldest in history, the study shows. That compares to the average age of 23 in 1960, Popenoe said.

For women, the average age of their first marriage has risen to 25, a full five years older than the 1960 average.

And giving women even more reason to be impatient that their boyfriends are dragging their feet, researchers say the trend favors the men.

"Guys can afford to wait to marry. The older they get, the better their chances in some ways of getting married, while for women it's the reverse," Popenoe said.

"Once a woman gets into her 30s, it's more likely that she will have to marry a man who was married earlier. It's more likely that she will marry a man who brings kids (into the marriage) and more likely that she will have a child by herself," Popenoe says.

Copyright 2002 Reuters. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Gang: A buddy sent me this today and I thought it was both funny and pertinent.

[Begin quote] We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what in the world they're saying anyway.)

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Dickhead

Hilarious, Dickhead. Too many here for me to choose my favorite, as they're all dead on. Wait, I can choose #1!

god-damn!! i have two new heroes: nofatso and dickhead. it's in that order only 'cos nofatso posted his first, but not to say that dh is any less of a crusader against bs designed to keep us off balance and to belittle us simply because the bs works. a lot of these most recent posts are kinda eerie, 'cos it's almost as if a few of you peeked into my brain while i was asleep and posted it here before i awoke! dynamic duo (nofatso and dickhead), the guinness' are on me! lol

Part 1

Hello, I'm finally home, and it feels good! I have several comments, but I would like to say thank you for your kind acceptance in this forum. Obviously, the vast majority of you are guys and have probably been burned or disappointed with American women. It speaks well of you that you haven't written me off, as well!

Dick, I was surprised by your multiple-choice question about why the vast majority of women cannot achieve orgasm from vaginal intercourse. I don't speak about orgasms with my girlfriends too often (!), but there's one more possibility: the clitoris was not involved! I've never had a vaginal orgasm. In fact, I can't imagine that one exists! There are times when I love just straight intercourse with no clitoral stimulation. Of course I don't have an orgasm, but sometimes I just don't want to. I think sometimes men have problems understanding it, but sometimes a climax just isn't necessary for enjoyment (at least for me). However, if my clitoris is touched, watch out! I think, very generally, it probably takes women longer to become aroused and to have an orgasm, but once I'm on a roll, it's a major aerobic workout, and I'm not kidding. I love to have multiple orgasms! But they just won't happen if the clitoris isn't involved. I have no idea if I'm a rare case or like most women, but I know what does it for me!

Fatso, you said, "Functioning in the corporate world or dealing with women, you are behaving and speaking in the politically correct approach (in Freud's terminology super ego and ego). To create an impression that you are fair minded, kind and the best of human being. The goal is to play the game to get what you want, i.e. overall kindness and nicety with calculated acts of mischievous nasty moves."

Do you really think that most people are selfish and cruel? I don't. Maybe you'll think I'm naïve, but I do think that many, if not most people are fair-minded, kind, good human beings. I think our instincts are to protect and provide for ourselves, but to do so at the expense of others isn't just protective, it's cruel. I'm human and won't say I've never acted that way ever in my life, but I sure don't as a practice and I don't know many people who do. One thing that I've learned though is that sometimes people act the way we expect them to act. E.g., if someone is highly suspicious of me, I can sense that and unwittingly do something (that I normally wouldn't do) that makes me fit the mold that I was expected to fill.

Dick, I'm really sorry about the woman who was rude to you at the gym. You simply asked her out to lunch, not to donate a kidney! However, no one but she knows her motives. Maybe she was trying to string you along. Maybe she was trying to play hard-to-get. Or, maybe she wasn't interested but thought she was being polite by not giving you a definite no. I know the latter is actually more cruel than turning you down directly, but sometimes we don't think about that.

Fatso, what is a gringo woman? I've never heard the term before and am trying to figure his out.

Something else confuses me. There are literally millions of American women. There are beautiful, intelligent, loving ones and there are cold-hearted witches. And....the same can be said about the women of any country, any race, any religion, and any other group of women. Have you had the same exposure to women of other cultures that you've had to American women so that you can make an accurate assessment?

I remember as a child, visiting friends' houses for dinner or a sleep-over. Everything was always so perfect at the other house. No one ever fought or yelled or seemed to do anything bad. I always thought that every family was the Brady Bunch except mine. Then I grew up and found out that when visiting, hosts usually present their best sides. Maybe that is true when you visit women of other cultures, as well.

Maybe the same things that are said here about American women can be said of American men (or men of any other sub-group). There are some horrible men out there who have really burned and harmed women. However, I can't imagine any intelligent, reasonable woman who would place ALL men in the same category.

Another thought is that maybe some of those who think that all American women are cold-hearted just haven't been looking in the right places. Sometimes we get lazy (me, too!) and don't want to leave our comfort boundaries, whatever and wherever they are. However, when that happens, we can't expect any changes unless we expand our horizons. It would be great if everything we wanted was neatly packaged and set outside our doorstep! But it doesn't usually happen that way.

And.....sometimes the problem isn't the other "group," but it's us. I've eaten humble pie myself, and it isn't easily digestible, but life is easier and rosier after the meal.

(to be continued)

Part 1

Hello, I'm finally home, and it feels good! I have several comments, but I would like to say thank you for your kind acceptance in this forum. Obviously, the vast majority of you are guys and have probably been burned or disappointed with American women. It speaks well of you that you haven't written me off, as well!

Dick, I was surprised by your multiple-choice question about why the vast majority of women cannot achieve orgasm from vaginal intercourse. I don't speak about orgasms with my girlfriends too often (!), but there's one more possibility: the clitoris was not involved! I've never had a vaginal orgasm. In fact, I can't imagine that one exists! There are times when I love just straight intercourse with no clitoral stimulation. Of course I don't have an orgasm, but sometimes I just don't want to. I think sometimes men have problems understanding it, but sometimes a climax just isn't necessary for enjoyment (at least for me). However, if my clitoris is touched, watch out! I think, very generally, it probably takes women longer to become aroused and to have an orgasm, but once I'm on a roll, it's a major aerobic workout, and I'm not kidding. I love to have multiple orgasms! But they just won't happen if the clitoris isn't involved. I have no idea if I'm a rare case or like most women, but I know what does it for me!

Fatso, you said, "Functioning in the corporate world or dealing with women, you are behaving and speaking in the politically correct approach (in Freud's terminology super ego and ego). To create an impression that you are fair minded, kind and the best of human being. The goal is to play the game to get what you want, i.e. overall kindness and nicety with calculated acts of mischievous nasty moves."

Do you really think that most people are selfish and cruel? I don't. Maybe you'll think I'm naïve, but I do think that many, if not most people are fair-minded, kind, good human beings. I think our instincts are to protect and provide for ourselves, but to do so at the expense of others isn't just protective, it's cruel. I'm human and won't say I've never acted that way ever in my life, but I sure don't as a practice and I don't know many people who do. One thing that I've learned though is that sometimes people act the way we expect them to act. E.g., if someone is highly suspicious of me, I can sense that and unwittingly do something (that I normally wouldn't do) that makes me fit the mold that I was expected to fill.

Dick, I'm really sorry about the woman who was rude to you at the gym. You simply asked her out to lunch, not to donate a kidney! However, no one but she knows her motives. Maybe she was trying to string you along. Maybe she was trying to play hard-to-get. Or, maybe she wasn't interested but thought she was being polite by not giving you a definite no. I know the latter is actually more cruel than turning you down directly, but sometimes we don't think about that.

Fatso, what is a gringo woman? I've never heard the term before and am trying to figure his out.

Something else confuses me. There are literally millions of American women. There are beautiful, intelligent, loving ones and there are cold-hearted witches. And....the same can be said about the women of any country, any race, any religion, and any other group of women. Have you had the same exposure to women of other cultures that you've had to American women so that you can make an accurate assessment?

I remember as a child, visiting friends' houses for dinner or a sleep-over. Everything was always so perfect at the other house. No one ever fought or yelled or seemed to do anything bad. I always thought that every family was the Brady Bunch except mine. Then I grew up and found out that when visiting, hosts usually present their best sides. Maybe that is true when you visit women of other cultures, as well.

Maybe the same things that are said here about American women can be said of American men (or men of any other sub-group). There are some horrible men out there who have really burned and harmed women. However, I can't imagine any intelligent, reasonable woman who would place ALL men in the same category.

Another thought is that maybe some of those who think that all American women are cold-hearted just haven't been looking in the right places. Sometimes we get lazy (me, too!) and don't want to leave our comfort boundaries, whatever and wherever they are. However, when that happens, we can't expect any changes unless we expand our horizons. It would be great if everything we wanted was neatly packaged and set outside our doorstep! But it doesn't usually happen that way.

And.....sometimes the problem isn't the other "group," but it's us. I've eaten humble pie myself, and it isn't easily digestible, but life is easier and rosier after the meal.

(to be continued)

(part 2)

(Whoops, I'm sorry about the double post. When I first clicked on "submit," I received an error message, so I assumed that it didn't post. I was wrong!)

Something else to consider, and I know this is an old cliché, but sometimes grass really is greener on the other side. Who knows, there may actually be some men in the world who (oh no!) prefer American women! The problem is this: when you write off ALL women of one group, you're also writing off the good ones. You don't want to be put in the same category as men who have committed crimes and behaved horribly against women, do you? That's prejudice. Fatso, you mentioned somewhere about a racist woman, but really, is anyone any different if you're judging ALL American women by the actions of a few?

If you are going to judge all American women by the actions of a few, then I don't think you can blame women who judge all American men by the actions of a few, either. That's what the militant feminists do! You know you don't want that. Live by the standards that you expect of others.

It seems to me that a good approach is an optimistic, yet slightly reserved outlook. You don't want to wear your heart on your sleeve, but if you keep it forever buried, it will never surface.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by USbabe
[
Dick, I'm really sorry about the woman who was rude to you at the gym. You simply asked her out to lunch, not to donate a kidney! However, no one but she knows her motives. Maybe she was trying to string you along. Maybe she was trying to play hard-to-get. [/QUOTE]

To clarify, I didn't think it was rude; I just thought it was strange. Playing hard to get is a possibility but that doesn't work for me as I am too lazy and cynical and just move on to the next prospect.

I don't fall in the group that says that all American woman are all those nasty things that fatass says they are. I just think they are by and large sexually repressed, sexually unskilled, and overly materialistic. Of course, I've only been to thirty-some countries so far and it's possible that by the time I'm done hitting them all, American women will rise above the median.

Babe, I don't know how much you've travelled, but if you've ever been to Latin America, I would think you would realize that people there are just plain friendlier, and the friendliness is less superficial. I can say the same thing for Oz and NZ as well. Five years from now I hope to be living in one of these places permanently and none of this will matter.

hello dick, since you were only asking her out for lunch, it is very strange that she said she would have to think about it. to me, what she was really saying was, "i have to think whether or not you're important enough to warrant my time." unfortunately, this kind of response does not help the rest of us!

i've never been to latin america, but i have traveled all over the us (as well as europe and asia), and i think the region has a lot to do with how friendly people are. in the south, very generally, people are extremely friendly, almost to a fault. yet in nyc and other major metropolitan areas, people are sometimes so guarded that it's hard to get to know anyone. i've never been to aus. or nz, so i don't know.

what i do think is harmful, however, are the generalizations that are taken to mean all of a specific group. (i'm not saying that you are necessarily doing this, however). when militant feminists scream that all men are just out to push women around and exert their dominance and [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord123][CodeWord123][/url] and pillage, blah, blah, blah, that hurts men like you. when some men say that all american women are selfish witches out to step on and ruin men, that hurts girls like me.

it's hard when someone has been stung many times, especially by one group of women (american). but guys who discount all american women because of it are pushing away the good ones, too. the guys who never give up, however, and have some optimism left are the ones who win.

oh, i have to make a comment about the toilet seat. how about everyone putting the lid down? unless it's being used for its intended purpose, do we really need a view of what's inside? besides, if it's left down, then whatever fell out of your hands in the bathroom bounces off the toilet seat lid and doesn't "drown."

;-)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by USbabe
[i] Oh, I have to make a comment about the toilet seat. How about everyone putting the lid down? Unless it's being used for its intended purpose, do we really need a view of what's inside? Besides, if it's left down, then whatever fell out of your hands in the bathroom bounces off the toilet seat lid and doesn't "drown." ;-) [/i][/QUOTE]

Now, Babe, I think that is excessive. Putting BOTH parts down so that men and women alike must engage in time wasting practices? Surely Sir Isaac Newton or Ben Franklin or Mae West or whoever it was wasn't referring to toilet seats when they said "what goes up must come down"! Huh. If you think about it, that could refer to the penis as well.

I remember asking my mother when I was a wee lad why it was necessary to put the toilet seat down. She said, "Because ladies will fall in and drown." This was but the first in a long series of lies women have told me over the years. Fatass would probably say that the average American woman is far too wide for this to ever happen. Dickhead, of course, has less of an issue here but also did not flunk geometry.

Women are inefficient. Who needs laundry baskets? Isn't a washing machine just a big laundry basket? Who needs wardrobes or bureaus? Isn't a dryer just a big clothes dresser? Put the dirty clothes directly from your body into the washing machine and take the clean ones directly from the dryer and put them on your body. This is efficient, economical, and ecological.

Although I love women, I also think they are poorly designed. The intake is too close to the exhaust, and what engineer in his or her right mind would run a solid waste pipe through the middle of a major recreational area? To the god in whom I do not believe, next time don't put the shithouse so close to the snack bar.

But seriously, I agree that there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. Unfortunately, it is often difficult (awkward, uncomfortable, fatiguing) to maintain vaginal penetration with the penis while simultaneously stimulating the clitoris (and guys, it's CLIToris, not cliTORis!). Fortunately, this is one problem that can easily be licked.

That gets me to the next issue. What is all of this I hear from women about "fear of losing control" during sex? Aren't you SUPPOSED to lose control during sex? Aren't control and orgasms somewhat mutually exclusive? Isn't that why I tied you to the bed posts in the first place?

Now to pose a question for the audience: If men and women achieve true equality, would that make marriage an anachronism? (Fatass, you can look it up!)

Your loyal servant,

Dickhead