American Women

miller2k, I WAS gonna believe that you WERE truly the happiest man alive, but as I suspected from a long while back, you seem just Pollyanna to me. Your constant label as such after your posts made me suspect. You remind me of an ostrich. Each of us IS the center of our own universe and we need to look after ourselves and needs to a point, but not so much that we totally disregard those of others. Did I let negative experiences cloud my perceptions? Sure. Am I gonna ignore them and act like they don't exist, like you seem to do? No. My negative experiences (and recent acceptance of USBabe's logic) are a learning experience that act as a rudder. My behavior in the past may have seemed desperate, but from things I've learned recently BEFORE I began posting to this board, THAT will never happen again. Lay off the Millers...

I',m the HAP-PI-EST MAN ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE.... yeah, the check's in the mail, I love you, and I won't cum in yer mouth. Get real you bonehead. Is there a REASON you live in a country where there are not as many American women as there would be North of the border? [awaits the vilification from the HAP-PI-EST MAN ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE, since I've kicked him in the balls!]

miller2k, i wasn't a tourist while in Europe, I was living and working there, and I found a substantial difference in the attitude in people while working there, people tend to think in terms of the group, not thinking in terms of the individual, thats why socialism is so strong over there. You sound like a guy from a small town so you probably wouldn't know any better. Dating in a big jungle like the city, is not easy. The dating scene where I live is very superficial at best. From what I experience in Europe, women often approach me without any reservation, they tend to like softness in a guy, which I am a soft guy. And another thing, the attitude towards people of the other races is in general terms more tolerant. You see more interracial dating, and it isn't frowned at the way it is in America. I have been in quite a few relationships and they have simply broken because we were of two different ethnic backgrounds. If you deny this, I'm sorry you must be living on Mars or something, but attitudes towards interracial romance in America are much more restrained than they are in Europe.

Oh yeah, you say most tourists stay in the areas with the 'beautiful people', I happened to stay in more or less normal areas of the cities I visited. When in Paris I stayed in an area to the North of the city. Guess what?? There were plenty of hot women in this working class section of Paris. In Amsterdam, I was on the south side of town, guess what?? There were many beautiful women there, most of them locals. In Germany I stayed in suburbs of Frankfurt and Cologne, and I saw many beautiful women in normal mundane locations, not just bars and nightclubs with 50 dollar cover charges like in the States. And another thing if I would compare the looks of the people in the "beautiful people" locales in the USA such as NYC, LA, Miami, and so forth to those in Europe, such as Paris, Amsterdam, Cannes, and so forth, Europe's locales win over their glam counterparts in the States.

Miller2K, you mentioned also that you lived in Mexico and felt like Hugh Hefner over there, so obviously you went there to find women. And to feel like Hugh, meant that you felt succesful with women over there. Also reading between the lines by that statement you had more luck in Mexico than in the States and that the women there made you feel good. So by you criticizing me for preferring and rating European women as better and myself having better experiences over there, you're just a hypocrite.

CBGB, yer message is one I already knew, but it was refreshing to hear confirmation of what I already knew for ages. Your breath is wasted on that Pabst Blue Ribbon-drinking, pork rind-eating miller2k. He thinks that if there are LEGIONS of many like minded individuals who make basically the same statement, then THEY must all be wrong. I'd give him a dollar to buy a clue, but he'd think it was a pouch of magic beans. Oh yeah, miller2k. If you had ANY awareness about you whatsoever (I'm already disappointed, because there IS none) you'd have noticed how USBabe stealthily came around the back door into my now extinct metaphorical fortress, and calmly took it apart brick by brick until I was admittedly standing amongst a pile of rubble in my skivvies. I gotta hand it to her for her logic. You, however, play the brickheaded moron and continue to attempt to scale the castle walls with a frontal assault. Too bad there aren't more like USBabe out there.

I'm curious what bars you guys are going to and not finding hot women. Drop by any niteclub in Toronto, New York or Tampa and there are young, sexy, sweaty girls everywhere (with a few hounds thrown in of course). Just realise that they aren't going to talk to anyone more than 3 years older than themselves... unlike other countries where older men are seen as desirable. What I have noticed is a major lack of hot ladies over the age of 30 in clubs. Where do they all go?... or are there none left?

CBGB... Get out of New York. I thought Toronto was a hard city to find a date in... until I visited New York a few times. Everybody there thinks they're hot shit... even the losers. I'd rather have a frontal lobotomy done than live in New York. If you like this gal in Europe so much then go live with her for a while... fuck what family says. Are you expecting to hook up with her again in your second life? You're obviously miserable... go do something about it.

Miller said...

"As men, would you want a woman who has let every little negative experience in her life cloud her way of thinking? Would you want a woman who always finds that cloud in the silver lining? Would you want a woman who has a one track mind and refuses to be budged from her self-centeredness? Would you want a woman who carries grudges to the extreme? NO? Well, if you don't want a woman like that, why would a woman want a man like that?"

... Nope, the problem is that just as many american women act this way too, not just the guys. I'm reminded of a song by Pam Tillis called "All the Good Ones are Gone".

The more I think/debate about this, the more I discover that it's not american women I have a problem with. I will always have to sift through lumps of coal to find the diamond. It's the excessive bullshit involved in revealing the diamond that turns me off.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Fedup
[i]. I'd rather have a frontal lobotomy done than live in New York. [/i][/QUOTE]
I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy :)

sinanjumaster, i don't question your motives for asking for my e-mail address, but kindly remember that you are asking for something which you aren't willing to give publicly yourself, either. with an abusive and hate-filled person like cgbg here, i would be a fool to give him any more information about myself. i understand that we all get angry, but when someone uses vitriolic language and behavior towards a person for absolutely no reason, he clearly has internal problems and needs to learn to control and manage his anger. none of my friends would put up with that garbage. it's amazing that a man would treat a woman like that and then wonder "why" women aren't attracted to him. we reap what we sow.

miller, i don't doubt your words a bit. the person who is able to look beyond himself is a happy, successful person. we're all self-centered to a certain degree, and of course it's good to want to protect ourselves, but completely self-centered persons rob themselves of the joy and true inner satisfaction that comes from true selflessness. personally, i am attracted to people who don't blame all their problems on others and who have enough self-respect to not accept bad behavior from others, either in personal or professional relationships. the men i know who have more women than they know what to do with are the ones who know how to treat a woman with respect while not allowing her to step all over them, either. it's very easy to wallow in self-pity. i've certainly done it, and it has gotten me nowhere. there are many, many american men who are [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord127][CodeWord127][/url], murderers, abusers (the vast majority of people on death row are men), and total sobs. but i can never fathom blaming an entire nation on the crimes and boorish behavior of a few! it's oh-so-easy to blame everything on the other person but much, much harder to look within ourselves to find out why we're being treated a certain way or why something isn't working.

it's also true that we see what we want to see. militant feminists blame men on everything and are essentially just waiting for a man to make a mistake so they can blame him and say, "see, men are all evil." quite frankly, i see an amazing number of similarities between militant feminists and many of the views here. i see the blame completely on women with men just being victims. there are many ways to protect ourselves without being completely vulnerable, and those who can do it well usually have very few complaints.

someone once described insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. if one approach is not working in life, i usually try another until i find what works. there are the doers in life, and there are the whiners. personally, i choose to spend my time with the doers. the good news is that anyone can be a doer! the optimistic viewpoint can be adopted by anyone of any sex, race, religion, and all that.

think about men you know who seem to have no problems with women at all. what do they do differently or how do they act differently than you do? i am very blessed to know some exceptional people in my life, and when i have problem with something, i wonder how they would handle the situation.

here's a secret. want to be known as an extremely interesting person? listen to other people and ask questions about what they've said to show them you have an interest in them or their activities. even though you've given almost no information about yourself, you'll be a person that others will go out of their way to want to know.

FedUp as soon as I get my Work Visa for Europe, I will finally leave the Rotten Apple. By the way, you mentioned there being a lot of hot women at nightclubs in NY. I hang out in Soho and Greenwich Village(in fact I was there last night) which is about as trendy and glamorous as you can get, I would rank no more than one in ten women a 7 or better. If you go clubbing in France or in Spain, especially around the Riviera, the percentage of hot women is more like 75 percent, enough so you have a chance of meeting someone. USBabe to each his own, I couldn't care to know more about you nor will I ever want to. But I will keep saying that a European woman will always top her American counterpart in every situation until I am blue in the face because it is true, contrary to the gross exaggerations of the media and Hollywood. I spent an extended amount of time over there to get a feel of what the place was like and it is a whole different world. A better world in fact. There's a saying that the truth shall set you free. And the truth that I discovered has set me free. You said I am an abusive and hate filled person, you don't know one goddam thing about me. Everyone has a good and bad side to them.

There is a big difference between truth and opinion, and unfortunately many seem to think that their own opinions are truth. I'd like to be self-centered enough to think that all my opinions are truth! But I know that it isn't so.

It is my opinion (and not truth) that your failure with women has to do far more with a closed mind than anything. You are judging millions and millions of American women by the actions of a few. You could be a victim of your own circumstance. I don't know many intelligent, educated women who prefer the company of a man who is not open-minded. Unfortunately, if your opinions here are indicative of what you truly believe, then you are sincerely prejudiced and close-minded. That, more than anything else, is a turn-off to any woman who is worth knowing.

Quite frankly, if you insist on making pre-judgements on any woman because she's American, then you can't complain about women who rally against all American men because of the actions of a few. Do you want to prove all the man-haters in the world right?! Unfortunately, you're playing right into their hands, whether or not you realize it.

I'm sincerely sorry about the rotten things that have happened in your life, but you seem to be creating your own circumstance by victimizing yourself. How about taking a fresh approach and rising to the occasion?! It can be done. But ONLY if you want it.

Negative thinking will almost always bring negative results.

As an European leaving in the US I would like to give my contribution to this discussion.

I have a "Love & Hate" relationship with this country.
Love si the fantastic opportunities you get, the true recognition of your achievements, the feeling you can really climb up in the social ladder.
Hate is the boring uniformity, the false cordiality, the shallow relationships, the conservative image.

In a few words I reckon there are many advantages living in the US for what relates to your professional life, many disadvantages, I guess, for what relates to your personal life.

So talking about American women I rarely found persons interested in really knowing the "other". Where other is somebody with different background, different culture and interests. Of course there are exceptions to this but in general terms I always perceive an initial interest (due probably to the exotic factor of knowing a foreigner) followed by a progressive "who-could care-less" attitude.

In this respect I think women just reflect the attitude of the American people. There is a generalized fear for whatever doesn't conform to familiar standards.
Do you guys notice that all cities here look the same? Same restaurants, same hotels, same shops all over the country. Isn't this boring? Isn't this the ultimate expression of a flattened culture?

You can call American women liberal if they are gonna give it you the first night out (and much more if they'll refuse it to you on the second) but isn't it by far more conservative that sense of superiority given by the ignorance of what exists outside of them?

[QUOTE]Originally posted by CBGBConnisur
[i]You said I am an abusive and hate filled person, you don't know one goddam thing about me. Everyone has a good and bad side to them. [/i][/QUOTE]

That may be so, but calling a total stranger a b*itch, telling her fuck you, enjoy your vibrator, and that it would be more entertaining to have sex with a vampire, isn't exactly presenting the good side.

It's a two way street -- you've certainly been quick enough to make a judgement based, frankly, on far more reasonably-toned posts than yours. I understand frustration, but a straight-forward personal attack coming from, as far as I've been able to figure out, a casual, "Oh, you might have seen me in Paris" is, at best, pretty poor discussion protocol.

Stranger99 -- I think you're dead on. Most Americans are essentially xenophobic. They're not particularly hostile to other people and cultures, just uninterested beyond the degree where it directly affects them personally. Not all -- I know plenty of folks who don't fit in that box -- but the majority basically treats the rest of the world as a show on television.

Stranger99:
"In a few words I reckon there are many advantages living in the US for what relates to your professional life, many disadvantages, I guess, for what relates to your personal life. "
You are so correct on this issue Stranger99, I have friends from Europe who say the same thing, as far as professional and economic opportunities go, America is great but insofar as personal relations such as love and romance, America is not so good. I have a friend from France who sums it this way he says
"America is a good place to work but France is a good place to live."

Sin...did I touch a nerve? Sorry. I'm not like an ostrich. It's just that I don't let my negative experiences control me. There are many assholes in the world (male and female), but I refuse to let them affect me. Why would you give someone so much control over you? If someone screws me over, I just let it go...I learn from my mistakes and chalk up the bad experience to the lack of character of the other person. What you do is symptomatic of someone with low self-esteem. You let negative experiences re-enforce your own negative feelings about yourself. By all means, continue...I am happy because I choose to be happy, you are a twisted, negative, lonely twerp because you choose to be that way. You are what you think.

CBGB...Is Chicago a small town? How about San Francisco? I was in the big city dating jungle just like you. And I went to Mexico to live a simple, non-materialistic life, not for the women. Of course, I love women of all races and nationalities so I'm having fun. Keep up this erratic behavior and travelling to Europe won't be sufficient anymore, you'll need to hop on the Space Shuttle and head out to the Moon.

Fedup...This is all definitely a two way street. There are just as many bad women as bad men and both sexes are equally responsible. But I basically write here to contradict the people who want to cry and moan about how ALL American women are like this, etc.

and assuming that you're all right and American women are indeed more selfish than other women...could this be because the USA has so many men who refuse to look past themselves and aknowledge that anybody else has desires. Could this selfishness among American men be the cause of any perceived selfishness in women? If men can't/won't satisfy their women then is it wrong for them to look after themselves?

Well, out of respect for Sin's little problems, I won't close by saying that I'm the HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE...I'll just say good bye as I sit here on my balcony, over-looking the mountains with sunshine everywhere and a gentle breeze on my forehead. It's about 80 degrees now and in a bit I'll be working and then I'll go for a moon-lit stroll with a song in my heart and a bounce in my step. Life is wonderful, you should try it sometime...

Perhaps this topic should be entitled "American Sexuality", or even "The Dating/Screwing Scene in the USA", just to make the distinction that the prevelant complaint is about how hard it is to find someone to be with, sexually and otherwise, in our present culture. I believe this is a complaint that US men and women share. It just so happens that all the complainers in here are men (well, it is a website about how to find prostitutes, so I guess that figures...US Babe, how the hell did you find us? ;-)