Americans vs Canadians???
Guys,
Are we really taking up time and space in the "American Women" forum to discuss masculinity issues of Canadian vs. American men????? Geez.
To change gears, I was wondering if there are any travel agencies out there which specialize in sex tours for individual mongers? I know that there is something like this operating in Costa Rica right now. They arrange accomodations, nightly parties with an ample supply of working girls, etc. This might also constitute a viable new market for some young entrepreneurs out there. I was just wondering.
American women and Marriage
article in a recent cosmopolitan "why there's so much marriage mania".
by julia gaynor
over the past few months, it's been virtually impossible to avoid hearing, seeing, or uttering the w word (hint: it rhymes with bedding). you've likely read stories, heard newscasts, and participated in conversations - ad nauseam - that covered everything from runaway brides to shotgun weddings to six-figure receptions. chatter about marriage seems to have reached a fever pitch, which is odd considering it's an institution that's existed for thousands of years. so what's actually going on?
"we're a nation that has become obsessed with weddings," says psychologist dale atkins, phd. and there are bunch of contributing factors. "extravagant details of celebrity weddings, increasing competitive pressure within female peer groups, and the gen y desire to fast-track one's lifestyle and add momentum to this shift in the energy we're focusing toward weddings now," explains atkins. cosmo examines why wedding fervor has accelerated at warp speed.
did you get the memo? paris has a 24-carat rock! nicole richie wants elephant rides, swans and horse-drawn carriages on her big day. both ben and jen and renee and kenny had secret, intimate island ceremonies, while sophia bush and chad michael murray got hitched in a lavish seaside event in southern california. "today, young female stars' weddings are far more frequent and over-the-top than they were 10 or 15 years ago," says pamela paul, author of the starter marriage. additionally, the grand details of celebrity nuptials are more accessible to us than ever before, which makes it hard not to get sucked in."
sure, it seems like innocent, voyeurish fun to get an inside peek at those a-list unions, but the constant barrage of celeb weddings can seep into your psyche. "even if you're not thinking about getting married, most women will subconsciously wind up fantasizing about weddings simply because they're bombarded with so many images and news reports," says beverly hills psychotherapist jenn berman, phd. "the focus is often on the dress and the party, rather than the relationship. as a result, people fixate on those superficial details. they use celebrity examples as yardstick for what they want someday, which makes them feel panicked because they can't live up to it."
...
dream-life checklist: kick-ass career, gorgeous husband, fabulous pad, cute gurgling baby. timeline: fitting it all in before age 30! it might sound crazy and ridiculously ambitious, but many young women are creating tighter and tighter internal deadlines for themselves. that puts them in a pinch - and creates a feeling of panic. "there's been a generational shift in the way young women approach their goals these days," says jane buckingham, president of youth intelligence, a trend-forecasting firm. "they want to have it all - the career, the house, the husband - while they're still a 20something. but this high-pressure deadline makes them feel like they're running out of time and if they don't get hitched soon, most of good men will be taken and their chances of having a baby will be slim."
blame it on the generational backlash: "young women today spent their childhood being told that they could accomplish anything and to pour their energy into pursuing their own interests," says paul. "they experienced a prolonged adolescence as they turned their focus away from settling down. but now they are yearning for a sign of adulthood. they crave security are optimistic that marriage will quickly transition them from their less responsible 20s into a more successful stage. they think it's the fastest way to show their parents that they're officially left the nest."
...
but there is an inherent pitfall in trying to do it all by 30. "what do you have to look forward to?" asks paul. "when you race through your goals without savoring them or taking what you learned form the last experience to refocus your next step, you really miss out." not to mention, your marriage's chance of surviving is better if you wed in your late 20s rather than your earlier.
fact: big-day price tags are getting higher and higher, echoing the competition women increasingly face to outdo one another in their walk down the isle. "wedding have become the ultimate status symbol for couples today. it drives women to compete with each other, and that one-upmanship fuels the mania," says atkins. "many women see the wedding as a projection of how their whole life will be - that's one reason it has to be perfect and better than the last celebration they attended," adds paul.
and the numbers prove it. according to weddingchannel.com, the average cost of weddings has risen $11,000.00 in the past 15 years, from $15,000.00 to roughly $26,000.00. and to keep up with the spiraling cost of getting hitched, the wall street journal reports that some couples are now asking guests for cash - on top of traditional gifts - so they can have their over-the-top nuptials. all this to marry the man you love? not really.
brides are taking out loans for their dresses. couples are flying bands across the country and asking guests to cross state lines and oceans for elaborate destination weddings (which can last for several days) just to make sure their big day is more fabulous than anyone else's.
"people become competitive from the proposal on," says paul. "as soon as you announce your engagement, it's 'how did he do it?' and 'let's have a look at the ring.' we have more bridal and celebrity magazines than ever, as well as reality tv shows, which all fuel the industry. weddings overall have become a focus of consumer culture, so there's a lot more pressure for people to get everything from event planners to wedding web sites. there's so much more out there now in the marketplace that caters to this."
unfortunately, a lot of people lose track of the lifelong commitment they're about to make as they figure out whether they want fireworks or a 40-piece orchestra at the reception. "couples get so caught up in the event that they lose sight of the relationship and their life after the wedding," says susan shapiro barash, author of the new wife. "it's a rude awakening when, after the wedding has been so consuming emotionally, financially, and time-wise, the couple returns to each other alone and is no longer treated like royalty. princess for a day really only lasts one day."
this article only confirms what i've been thinking all along.
a) the majority of women are selfish.
b) women care nothing about men.
c) women consider men walking atm‘s.
d) men are pussies in the eyes of women.
e) the majority of women are illogical, and lack logical perspective.
f) the majority of women are only in love with the idea of marriage, not marriage its self.
Cast of Characters at my job-Possibly off topic, but I feel like ranting
1. Menopausal 43 year old woman-lonely old maid. Incapable of doing her fairly simple, but fast paced job, and is in a position to create mass chaos for everyone else through failure. Prone to psychotic emotional outbursts and fits of panic.
2. Conniving, manipulative, pathological liar, age 23. Long story short, trying to take my job, which she was removed from. Recenly flat busted her in a deceptive underhanded attempt to undermine me and get "her job back". Now I have to deal with her passive aggressive crap until the next time I catch her in the middle of a scheme. Uses her "struggles" with being the single mommy of an illegitimate daughter to gain attention and favor. In actuality, is out drinking 7 nights a week-the child's grandparents are de facto parents.
3. Pregnant hillbilly chick #1. 8.5 months pregnant with 4th child, and still doing physically demanding work (too big a loser to take off from work for a couple weeks). Has bullshit "moral superiority" thing going because she is actually married to the father of her children. Is hellishly puritanical, judgemental and hypocritical, and prone to freaky mood swings. I'm repressing the urge to tell her if she and husband were that fucking cool, she would be comfortably waiting at home for the contractions to start, not at work having freaky mood swings.
4. Pregnant hillbilly chick #2. Also 8.5 months pregnant. "Baby's Daddy" just left her (she is "Babies Momma #3 for him, and she was still surprised to find out that she wasn't the "forever love"). Too far along in the pregancy to do her job anymore, and foists work off on others, but again, can't afford to take off work. Being kicked out of Ma and Paw's house for getting impregnated by a biracial guy. Also, just generally annoying as hell, but that is just her personality.
5. Pregnant (?) hillbilly chick #3 - Purportedly pregnant (reports vary?-may be faking it. Has reently reported "miscarriage", and then re-pregnation). Prone to non-specific unverifyable gynecological issue ("gushing"), causing her to leave and take off work pretty much with impunity, possibly actually in response to control freak boyfriends demands.
6. Non-pregnant hillbilly chick. Boyfriend is in jail (hence the non-pregnant).
Sucks mondo ass at her job, so much so that shit is starting to come down on everyone over her failures. In the interest of honesty, she is reasonably pleasant to be around.
7. Boss. 40ish bitter old maid. Scarily incompetent, and prone to psychotic behavior, mood swings.
I'm in hell. I'm looking at taking maybe a 20% pay cut to get out.