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While I have read all the usual studies saying that each inch of height adds X thousands of dollars to a man's earnings and that the probability of becoming President of the United States, CEO of a major corporation, etc. increases by X % with each inch of height, I don't think it is as big an issue as Darkseid thinks it is. In particular, I don't think "heads turn on the street" when a shorter guy and a taller woman walk down the street together. I am 5'7", well below average height for a man in this country and I have dated many taller women. Although, I will say that women in this part of the country hardly ever wear high heels as they tend to dress for comfort and not for style (which has its own issues such as the baggy sweatsuit phenomenon). And it is a pain in the ass walking with women in Latin America because you have to walk so slowly because of their ridiculous shoes.
Darkseid, it is mind over matter. If you don't mind, it won't matter. Do what I do and tell 'em you're a lot taller lying down.
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Darkseid -- the trick is to wallow in and be happy that heads turn. Heads turn for a million reasons, so you're better off putting your own positive spin on things. When I'm in Asia, heads turn because of my height compared to everyone else, and I'm a foot-plus shorter than Yao Ming (not to mention not as good-looking or talented!) Heads turn in other places because I shave my head. Heads turn if I'm walking with a woman a foot shorter than me. Let heads turn, and don't worry so much about what people think.
I'd rather be short than a million other possibilities -- dumb as a post, genetically damaged, ugly as sin, blessed with truly atrocious fashion sense, body odor, or lack of humor, etc. You've already said you're good-looking, in fantastic shape, etc., so why not focus on and be proud of that? You don't need to be everyone's cup of tea -- just your own. I agree completely with RN that true confidence and self-comfort matter more than anything else in people finding you attractive.
I find my height and size can be useful for commanding a room or a table, but personal presence goes a lot further.
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And if telling 'em you're taller lying down doesn't work, try telling 'em you want to go up on them.
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As a guy who is 6' 4" I find this discussion about height to be a bit amazing to say the least.
First of all, from your posts it appears that most people believe height to be something desireable and advantageous. In actuality, it's NOT really important or desireable - at least from my perspective. I often feel like a giraffe at social functions and particularly on a dance floor (despite my Soul Train moves! - just kidding). I also have size 13 shoes and have taken a lot of ribbing in my lifetime about my big feet. I could go on and on about related stuff.
More importantly, in America height means little or nothing to American women. It doesn't matter how tall or good looking you are, you still get their snotty, defensive, aloof B.S. I have friends taller and better looking than I am and when we're amongst American women, we get the EXACT same treatment as guys who are shorter. So, Darkseid, I'd totally dismiss the height issue because in this country at least, it's truly a non-issue when it comes to making it with American chicks. As I've said before, we ALL get treated like sh*t. Honestly Darkseid, I'm not sure what they're looking for but I honestly don't care anymore - which is quite liberating.
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Well, I tell you I would rather be 5'7" than 6'4" when I fly to Asia or South America (or anywhere, really) but on the other hand I had a hell of an outside shot so if I were 6'4" I would have gotten a basketball scholarship and I wouldn't still be paying off student loans. Actually I still have a hell of an outside shot but I can't get open any more and on defense I am so slow now that I basically show up tomorrow.
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Dickhead,
Actually, I truly sucked at roundball. Track and tennis were the only sports I could excell at for some reason.
Getting back to the height myth. As I reflect back on my rather long life I NEVER had a woman mention that she liked me because of my height. Tall guys don't do any better than shorter guys when it comes to women here in the states. It's a total non-issue. Believe me. In fact, my best friend is 5' 6" and he scores with women like Sam Malone from Cheers.
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Agree. All else equal taller is better but it is a minor factor. Now one thing to consider is that since each subsequent generation is getting taller, if you want a younger woman the situtation is just a bit worse. I don't want a real young woman and I like Asians and Latinas so since they are relatively short everything is cool. But as far as Caucasian girls go, I like taller girls for whatever reason. I just try to look them right in the tits rather than right in the eye and it usually works out.
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Guys, please, live darkseid alone.
It is just embarrassing to read that everybody trying to exercise in sweet lie.
Especially you RN, you always are trying to please everybody, both men and women. It is sweet but it is not real. You have to choose on what side of the barricade you are.
If darkseid feels that his height is a problem in New York,
it probably is.
I like to read his posts because he has sharp eyes.
He know that he is saying .
I knew some Brazilian women, they crazy about Chinese. One even wants
To bring a baby from China. I don’t understand this phenomena but it is exists.
Darkseid, why you need these shitty American women?
In New York they have big Brazilian community.
By the way they are going to have carnival soon!
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Well, Lenin, you may be correct that for Darkseid his height is a real and legitimate problem, but that doesn't make my opinion a "sweet lie." Choosing what side of the barricade you're on also means figuring out whether there's a difference in one side or another, or whether the barricade actually exists. I certainly understand people's obsessions with heights -- I've got two good friends who are under 5'5" and one also has a tendency to obsess over his height, but the other is simply the tallest person I know inside, even if his outside doesn't reflect that, and he manages to make most everyone else see that as well.
And no one would be posting anything about height if it wasn't an issue mentioned in practically every post Darkseid makes. That's not a slap at him, but at the idea that we should simply ignore an issue he brings up again and again.
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Now that you mentioned about Carnival, I can't wait to go to Rio. I booked a trip from Feb 28 to Mar 10. At Brazil, I feel like I am at home because no one even makes jokes about my height when I'm there and my travel companion is fluent in Portugese so no jokes could fly past me. I happen to live in a part of the USA, New York, where vanity is very important and that is why height is such an issue here. It's hard to ignore the fact that I am short when people constantly make jokes about it. And those are the times it bothers me. I don't think of my problem when there are no jokes flying at me about it. Perhaps in other parts of the country, height may or may not be an issue or not as great an issue. South American women, and South American people in general, are more warm and friendly to guests of their country. I won't be back on the forum until after Mar 10 so I'll see you guys after and tell you all about my vacation. I'll be coming back with smiles. :)
Viva Rrrrrrrrio!!!
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i can relate to darkseid's sensitivity about being short. fro a while in school i was the shortest or among the shortest kids in my classes, and i didn't like it. it was quite a relief when a growth spurt in my mid teens changed that, so like dickhead i'm still short but close to average. i prefer smaller women. i think it's probably natural for short men and tall women to face some discrimination when it comes to mating. but i think it can be overcome by having other attractive features.
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Let's analyze Darkseid's situation a bit more. It is pretty complicated. He lives in a city where his height is an issue. Gee, what could be a possible solution? MOVE. Why doesn't he do that? Because his job is there. What could be a possible solution? QUIT and find another job (or perhaps in the reverse order). But of course he lives in his parents' apartment so that is probably the real reason. What could be a possible solution? Stop hanging on to mommy's apron strings.
The United States is a large country comprising fifty different states, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands, Guam, American Somoa, the Northern Marianas, etc. I grew up back East. It sucks. I didn't like it. I moved. End of story.
Darkseid needs to read his Horace Greeley quotations.
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The type and level of communication in America has been a topic brought up in the past. I have found it interesting to observe through the years how American women seem to share their feelings and seek personal advice rather freely from other women, and this inclination is received well by other women. American men, however, generally seem more often than not to limit themselves to "sound-bites" with each other.
I think women in most cultures are rather similar to American women, but the men are more varied in their acceptance of spending time talking about their feelings and sharing their personal concerns. From my myopic perspective, it seems that many patriarchal cultures tend to value and are open to the idea of spending extensive time bonding and sharing their personal cares and feelings with each other. I have observed this with many ethnic groups, and Lenin has commented on the same with what I believe is a patriarchal Russian culture.
I may easily be misjudging the true level of bonding and openess among men when I observe a small group or two men talking in an Italian coffee shop, or a small group of Russian men leaning into their conversation and speaking passionately as a group of rather staid American businessmen have lunch. But I think American men are at a severe disadvantage when it comes to finding support and validation for many of their feelings and concerns.
I couldn't help but imagine what would have happened in America in a situation that Lenin had described when he was living in a dorm-like environment during his college years. He mentioned how the guys discussed a bitchy girl living among them and had her kicked out. He said to call it whatever you want - mens' mafia or whatever, but the men shared and stuck together. I don't think he would have seen something like that happening in America today.
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Darkseid,
Have great time in Rio. I'm very envious as I sit here freezing in the Midwest.
I anxiously look forward to your reports from Rio. Happy hunting!
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Lenin,
[i]"Especially you RN, you always are trying to please everybody, both men and women. It is sweet but it is not real. You have to choose on what side of the barricade you are."[/i]
I'm not trying to please anyone. I call the shots as I see them. And in reality, what I said to Darkseid couldn't really be taken as trying to be 'sweet'. I told him he was insecure and that he should get over it! However, I said that because I felt that the issue causes him a lot of unnecessary pain. I don't like to see people kicking themselves to the kerb for reasons that are totally beyond their control.
And I don't feel that I should have to take 'sides' in this matter. As a woman, I should technically be in the girl's corner - but I'm not going to do that, because I understand and empathise with many of the complaints made by the men in here. I don't think this is an 'us and them' issue. I go through most of the same problems with men, as you guys do with women.
Your last post slammed American men for not communicating honestly with each other. Then when I address Darkseid's personal issues (as women are famous for doing) and all the guys start openly communicating with him about it - you accuse us of being false! I have been open and honest with everyone since the day I first posted on this board...which was about 2 years ago now, mind you! So don't come onto this board and start accusing me of being a liar. I care very much about my WSG mates- and if say that I am concerned for the emotional welfare of one of them, then I damn well mean it.