Thread: Seeking Arrangements
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Today 10:35 #6432
Posts: 4012Originally Posted by AmericanPi [View Original Post]
Still, I got this bold note on the testing, YOU NEED TO SEE YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY! So I get why there is hysteria, I just was not sure where it came from. I found an article that did a good job tracing the HSV origins.
https://slate.com/technology/2019/12...explained.html
According to Guinan, she was also roped into appearing on an episode of The Phil Donahue Show in which Donahue accused Guinan of "covering up" the herpes epidemic as the live studio audience heckled her.
Yeah, it was all Phil Donahue's fault. That bastard!
When I came out with my sugaring life style to people, there was a positive feeling of whatever makes you happy makes us happy but a negative one of envy as well. I probably should have been less open than I was, certainly about the amount of sex I was having.
Thing is the couples who married in the 1950's and early 60's had to be careful about her getting pregnant. The pill comes out in the early 60's, and in a few years, everyone is fucking like bunnies. You can imagine the people who missed out on the free love era were not happy and maybe a little envious.
If a guy is getting laid and the other one is not, the one not getting sex will often bring up diseases. Similarly, the people having less sex or fewer partners wanted there to be consequences for those having more sex, and herpes was latched onto as punishment for sexual promiscuity.
And that is how a little painful blister that was viewed as trivial in the medical profession in the 1960's became associated with "being diseased" and an epidemic in the 1980's. If only those free love children had been a little more discreet, we might have avoided this.
I know you might not feel comfortable with this. The harder something is drilled into your head, the more difficult it is to let go of. But with herpes, it is not what the women think but what we know that matters. It is really not a big deal.
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Yesterday 22:14 #6431
Posts: 336Originally Posted by AmericanPi [View Original Post]
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Yesterday 20:50 #6430
Posts: 4012Originally Posted by FilthyBeaver [View Original Post]
And she would have been the most popular escort in town if she went that route. One of my SBs who was not as pretty did the escort route and DID become the most popular escort in town. Thing is the SB turned escort was miserable. The shit she had to put up with from guys was unreal, and she lost her kid when she became an escort. As is so often the case when you are not happy, she overspent. She told me that she was making $15 k a month but spending $16 k. I have a feeling it was actually more than that.
So that one route I thought as being open to her was not really open. She did work. On the job front, she finally found something decent but in general, low wage jobs suck.
Well, she could get another SD, but I am not sure how enjoyable that would have been. These relationships fizzle out quickly, and sometimes, the guys get weird, cheap, or unreliable. I thought it would have been a snap for her to get a SD but getting a good one would not have been so easy.
And now I think about it at her age, mid 20's, she is spending 8 to 10 hours a week with me and having her financial needs met. Was she really going to risk that on some BF?
I was much younger then and has been trained to think a woman like this was way beyond me, and she was not. Not by any means. In fact, a huge part of the issue at the time was a wife taking a chain saw to my self-esteem, and I see that with a lot of guys. It is hard to see when you are in it, but it is so obvious once it is gone.
As for the fantasy, don't you want the fantasy that she does not want any other man but you? When we talked, she talked about her BF, and it was interesting so I did not mind it, but looking back on it, he and not I was the focus of her life, and that really was not okay.
The first few women I met in South America on seeking videoed me showing me they were taking down their profile. They WANTED to have one man in their life, and after I read some studies that the government was trying to bury about how lame condoms were for STDs, I decided I wanted to go bare from then on (if the women were on birth control). The women have a sixth sense in accommodating men and I ran into almost no resistance on this issue. So yeah, the biggest hurdle to my getting BB sex was me. LOL.
And I think it could have been the same with this. Make exclusivity an expectation. I would never do it with the seeking hooker type but with a younger one with whom I had chemistry? Of course, I could have and should have. I could say "I know you are not an escort because seeking bans escorts. Thing is there are some hookers on there who bounce from bed to bed. I doubt you are a woman like that. The reason I am on seeking is to find a woman who is exclusive to me. I almost hate to ask this, but you are an exclusive girl and not a hooker right?" Put it like that and very few women will answer they are a hooker.
And women are not geared to be fucking multiple men. The worst names are used to describe such women and long term, I am not sure it is good for them to be doing it. Divorce rates sky rocket the more partners a woman has. I know it sounds like bullshit to say, "I know deep down you want to be to be exclusive with a guy and I am going to help you be like that", but I think some women would have responded to it.
The funny part about this was how MW's story reminded me of my flawed thinking. Oh, I cannot control things and was flattered the woman is willing to fuck me. Oh, I would have been a hypocrite for fucking other women and expecting her to be exclusive but now I am like, if the woman is giving her best pussy to another guy and I was giving her the money such that she has the time to do that, wasn't I a simp? I kind of think I was.
I wonder what would have happened had I changed my default settings. I changed my default from condoms to bareback and it worked great. I wonder if I checked exclusivity as my default setting what would have happened. Maybe you guys can try it and let us all know, but I think it would have enhanced my relationships. I should not have been giving these women money such that they spent it on other guys or that it enabled them to hang out with other guys.
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Yesterday 18:55 #6429
Posts: 6941Absurd
Originally Posted by Elvis2008 [View Original Post]
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Yesterday 18:10 #6428
Posts: 54Lisbon
(Written Jan 9, posting late).
Wrapping up 2 months in Lisbon and the sugar dating scene, I wanted to share some of what I learned to make the overall experience more comfortable than before. Previously I stayed towards the center of Lisbon, and was upset about the crappy roads / sidewalks and poorly constructed houses. This time, I decided to rent a car and stay farther away from the center and this made the experience much better. Still have problems with the poorly insulated houses, but I started to see why people like it here.
On the sugar dating scene, I've started connecting with the girls via video call before landing at my destination. For great candidates, I typically offer a monetary gift transferred via Revolut. I got this idea from the board and used it successfully in Medellin as well. This time I landed with a solid contact in an Angolan girl, currently working but wanting to save up money so she can study. I ended up seeing this girl almost weekly during my stay and being very happy with each date. I tried this same approach in my next destination (Rio de Janeiro) and it flopped pretty badly, even eliminating some girls that may have been decent dates. So, for now I'the say this tactic is safest to use in Europe (although it worked in Medellin too).
Given the scarcity of options in Europe compared to LatAm, I've also messaged girls with only one picture (which I previously disregarded as low effort sugar babies). One of these turned out to be a hot Portuguese girl, former Instagram influencer. Once we made contact, she shared her real photos and I was pretty happy. In the future, I'll likely reach out to these lower effort profiles more often and request pictures. We had a few dates which were excellent. Portuguese girls can be quite curvy and she had one of the most phenomenal asses I've ever seen on a Caucasian girl.
Speaking of body types, I spent a month last year in Paris, Vienna, Bucharest and Athens each. During this experience, I've learned that I don't like the thin European body types. They look good in pictures and generate some initial excitement, but don't hold my interest as well as the thicker Latina (and African) body types. I'm tempted to do a month in Italy (Rome or Milan) and France (probably near Geneva) next year, but expect my tastes will not change. And I expect those destinations will be less satisfying both to live in and for the sugar dating scene than Spain / Portugal, so I'll be back there and consider the area "home" for the foreseeable future.
On a personal level, I've also been taking better care of my health, really getting into longevity medicine and following people like Bryan Johnson, Peter Attia, Siim Land. Doing blood tests every 3 months and working with a trainer / nutritionist to optimize the metrics. I haven't cracked 40 yet, but I want to be banging 20 year olds beyond my 60's and as long as possible. Good health and happiness to you all.
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Yesterday 15:26 #6427
Posts: 720Originally Posted by NeilGeorge [View Original Post]
When you date outside this world, do women just really expect you have herpes and it's no big deal because everyone has it? That's been your experience?
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Yesterday 06:39 #6426
Posts: 526Interesting question
For those of us out for GFE or the fantasy of GFE, I would guess knowing vs thinking vs assuming they were seeing other people at the same time would be some form of self protection. I think it's safe to say that none of us is special and if she met us there she would also meet others there. That's just common sense. I'm my experience, the legit college students have all been exclusive just because of their commitment to school. The non students I would believe in a heartbeat that I was just one in a rotation. I'm smart enough to not want to know the answer to that question so I don't ask but I will share the results of an std test as a subtle hint that I care enough to not fuck with her health and I hope she does the same. Maybe a huge, false assumption but don't fuck with the fantasy. If I'm otherwise happy and she's otherwise happy, again, don't fuck with the fantasy.
I do think it's not realistic to demand exclusivity if I'm not so I don't. As I write this I'm laying next to an imported SB while my regular is in the bullpen. I did decide I'd probably push for exclusivity with one of them in the near future as I complete this extended test drive but I'm having second thoughts. Don't fuck with the fantasy.
Originally Posted by Elvis2008 [View Original Post]
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02-04-25 22:24 #6425
Posts: 336Originally Posted by Elvis2008 [View Original Post]
And even if you give them a car, diamond ring, they still will dump you if they want. Never trust a bar girl from the Philipines nor a women from a sex site. If you fish in a toilet you will end up with a turd!
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02-04-25 18:52 #6424
Posts: 336Originally Posted by Elvis2008 [View Original Post]
Everyone has herpes, so that is a minor thing.
If the woman still has her profile up, that indicates she is still roaming. If they quote you PPM before meeting, that tells you they are a pro. I avoid these kind.
Many of the women require condoms. That is an indicator that they fuck multiple guys. If they do not kiss, that means they are not really into you, just fucking for the money. I require bareback and tell them it is exclusive only. Of course, I have 4-5 exclusives in my arrangement harem. Have never gotten any STDs.
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02-04-25 12:52 #6423
Posts: 36Originally Posted by KCK12 [View Original Post]
Can't see the use of seeking in São Paulo with places like Scandallo. Not worth the seeking headache of getting to know virtually / filtering out timewasters etc. Just go to Scandallo, get their numbers and ask them to spend the night with you. And besides, for some some reason, the selection in São Paulo on seeking never seemed tempting anyway.
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02-04-25 06:57 #6422
Posts: 4012Originally Posted by NoBuglyFitches [View Original Post]
Now I wonder. As for being a hypocrite, I am paying, and we are not equal members in a relationship, so that was wrong. If she is performing less well when banging someone else, I should have thought it was not okay.
As far as enforcing the exclusivity, I could easily check if she kept her seeking profile up, pay for her phone and track where she went, and look at her social media. One SB told me every time you see a woman at a fancy restaurant or location and she is alone, she has a SD paying for things. I could not believe how many women were full of it when I looked at their social media pages. My favorite was seeing the woman who broke a date due to a sick father and seeing her on Facebook that same night with another guy at a Bruno Mars concert. I guess that was her dad and he got better really quickly and took her there.
Then there was the Julia Roberts / Pretty Woman no kissing sign. If a woman says she does not like kissing or it is icky, that is not because she does not like to kiss most times. It is because she is kissing someone else. With Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, fucking a stranger was okay but kissing him was too intimate. I think that is most women.
If I did track women and demand exclusivity, I am not sure what I would have done. Maybe not directly confront them but imply I knew they were with someone else. Is your dad any better? BTW, does he happen to be a Bruno Mars fan? Just curious.
Is it better to push or nudge someone into exclusivity, let them go, or live with it if you learn she is seeing others? I am sure it varies case by case, but I think in hindsight I probably should have made exclusivity a goal with at least some of my SBs.
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02-04-25 03:43 #6421
Posts: 1Seeking in BA and SP
Hello, wanting to know if it's a good deal to use seeking in either city. Some reporters have said that Buenos Aires sometimes it's a hit or miss. Looking for an all day date type and overnight fun.
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02-02-25 20:00 #6420
Posts: 2992Rates in Spain
Originally Posted by NoBuglyFitches [View Original Post]
I found most girls not going below 350 in Madrid and 300 in Barcelona.
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02-02-25 17:52 #6419
Posts: 336Vegas Tricks
Originally Posted by HumbleHal [View Original Post]
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02-02-25 04:26 #6418
Posts: 400Originally Posted by NoBuglyFitches [View Original Post]