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This blog is moderated by Midwestern
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Senior Member
 Posts: 1207
 Originally Posted by AmericanPi
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This is wisdom right here. Spot on.
I very specifically want to pay. And I want to pay well. Why? Because my time is valuable and I don't have endless opportunities to do this stuff and when I do I want it to count. I want to go into the date knowing I'll get what I want, and will define how and when it starts and ends. Price you pay for that is quite literally money.
This is also why I pay very generously in countries where money is cheap and I could get away with paying far less. Because why. The worst possible outcome is she doesn't show up and I lose a night in a foreign country after all, it took to get there. I want to pay at a level where I'm basically assured she'll show up and I will have the night I planned. There's a price for that. It's worth paying.
Agree with you guys on freebies being overrated. And this is from my experience. When I was on Seeking in the states, half of my gals were freebies, and most of those ended horribly.
I also pay a premium. This makes them really want to see me. They will usually drop everything to meet.
 Originally Posted by AmericanPi
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I've always just given girls cash. Amount arranged in advance. But another poster on here has convinced me that taking a girl shopping gets things next level. I've never done that because I think if you take a girl shopping, you kind of give carte blanche on her choices. I mean what if she goes in a store and picks out a 500 dollar sweater, or just wants to walk out with a new wardrobe. I can see it backfiring to have to tell a girl no I meant you can choose one item under 150 dollars. Put that back please.
How do people handle this?
It's hit or miss, but for me it was mostly a miss. There's usually some uncertainty because she doesn't know what the spending limit is. If you set a limit, then it's weird because why not just gift them that cash amount and let them spend it how they want. If they're shopping with you, then it's usually for cosmetics or jewelry, as most gals prefer to go clothes shopping with their GFs. One cosmetic won't break the bank, but they're not going to buy just one lipstick if you're taking them shopping, and so it'll end up being a lot. I bought a purse for a gal once and it cost thousands. Another wanted a bracelet and it was for over ten thousand and I said no and we got into a big fight.
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Senior Member
 Posts: 727
 Originally Posted by Steve9696
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Not only should "getting it for free" not be the goal it is in fact counterproductive! I have made this mistake. I had a lovely non-pro that I met several times in London and elsewhere. Always did the allowance SB thing. Flew her to LA and agreed no allowance. Just covering her trip was enough. This was a big FAIL. She began acting like a GF and not in a good way. "I'm too tired". "I have a headache". All thing she's quite entitled to say as a GF not an SB.
Well I fucking learned my lesson. I don't want a girlfriend. I want an SB and that means paying is not only on the table but part of the deal so both parties are happy. No free sex for me. Thank you.
This is wisdom right here. Spot on.
I very specifically want to pay. And I want to pay well. Why? Because my time is valuable and I don't have endless opportunities to do this stuff and when I do I want it to count. I want to go into the date knowing I'll get what I want, and will define how and when it starts and ends. Price you pay for that is quite literally money.
This is also why I pay very generously in countries where money is cheap and I could get away with paying far less. Because why. The worst possible outcome is she doesn't show up and I lose a night in a foreign country after all, it took to get there. I want to pay at a level where I'm basically assured she'll show up and I will have the night I planned. There's a price for that. It's worth paying.
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Senior Member
 Posts: 727
Shopping question
I've always just given girls cash. Amount arranged in advance. But another poster on here has convinced me that taking a girl shopping gets things next level. I've never done that because I think if you take a girl shopping, you kind of give carte blanche on her choices. I mean what if she goes in a store and picks out a 500 dollar sweater, or just wants to walk out with a new wardrobe. I can see it backfiring to have to tell a girl no I meant you can choose one item under 150 dollars. Put that back please.
How do people handle this?
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Senior Member
 Posts: 677
 Originally Posted by NoBuglyFitches
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Was this in SEA countries? This method requires someone to reach out to you so a big Tinder element to it.
Makes sense.
What brothel has so many 18-19 yo, Jakarta?
Yes, same here.
Yes Jakarta is where I have had more recent experiences. Asian girls are different than European or Americans. Don't get me wrong here and have unrealistic expectations. If you want the hottest 20 yo on the site, you will pay western prices for it. But if you look for certain characteristics in the profile like discreet pictures or better written text etc you can uncover some gems. Again I don't mean to say freebies are that common, but they are not unheard of either.
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Regular Member
 Posts: 63
 Originally Posted by DwayneJohnson
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Yeah, EU seems to be requiring more effort and time when compared what everyone is posting about South America. Also since in Germany paid sex is easily available with large variety from FKKs to flat rates, there are less regular girls on seeking. It's mostly professionals who try to score extra money by acting like a virgin.
US and UK or anywhere would require a lot of time and effort too if you don't have enough dough. If time is object, then knock yourself out.
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Senior Member
 Posts: 4028
 Originally Posted by NoBuglyFitches
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Would this be in Colombia and with older ladies, meaning 30+ and close to you in age?
No, they were all 25 to 35 years younger than me.
 Originally Posted by NoBuglyFitches
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And fucking for mentorship and financial advice doesn't make sense for them because they can get it for free -- you fuck, pay, and then over dinner she gets to learn about stocks, bonds, inflation etc.
Well, they would have to be with you to get citizenship, and nothing would bore the shit out of me more than someone lecturing me nonstop. That is one thing. It is another for her to tell you her plan and you suggest several viable alternatives that she has never thought of. When it comes to money and women, it is not that they lack the intelligence but they lack the confidence. You are there to lovingly help them with their plan not lecture them on what to do and most women do not have plans that extend beyond a few hours.
In the lives of most people that I like to be with, things go well most of the time, but there are times they get stuck or cannot decide what path to take, and they will ask for your help if they think you can help. With the hottest of women, they are always worried someone is giving them advice such that they can get in their pants. Well, I am already in their pants. This is where a SD is like a daddy. Your SB should trust you, and most SBs I have met have a lack of people / men in their life they can trust.
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Senior Member
 Posts: 342
 Originally Posted by NoBuglyFitches
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Yes, I also read other SDs saying they didn't proceed because they didn't feel the vibe. But for me, some of my best fucks were with SBs whom I initially didn't like. They just turned out to be tight, wet and energetic.
Yes, they fuck good. But you will have problems later. Best to follow your feeling. There is a reason you do not mesh well. They may try to steal from you later, be strung out on drugs regularly, or alcohol. I had one who fucked good but used a lot of alcohol and marijuana, showed up at my house with a pint of Jose Cuervo and had marijuana on her clothes and hair. She fucked good, then too a shower and dropped the handheld sprayer on the shower floor, it sprayed the bathroom wall and floor for 3-4 minutes and flooded the floor while she stood there in a daze. Then she did not want to give up her towel so I could wipe the floor, claimed I hollered at her, and I finally had to tell her to get the fuck out. I will never repeat. There is a reason you do not feel good about women when you meet them, and you will Never feel good about some of them.
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Senior Member
 Posts: 116
 Originally Posted by Elvis2008
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You just do not mention price and behave like you are on a date. Many if not most times a woman has it in her mind that she is going to have sex with you before you even meet.
Most or all of my dates bring up gift / allowance at some point before we meet if I don't bring it up first. As of 2025, are you still seeing many SA dates that don't bring it up before meeting?
Would this be in Colombia and with older ladies, meaning 30+ and close to you in age?
 Originally Posted by Elvis2008
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If you have a woman interested in a long term plan, and so few are, then I would fuck me and a lot of guys here for free.
Getting a bit off topic. I heard this idea on a podcast you linked here. Thing is, free sex in exchange for long term prospects works out for the woman only if -- one -- she can correctly identify the guy who would settle down with her; and -- two -- every other woman isn't fucking that guy for free as well.
And fucking for mentorship and financial advice doesn't make sense for them because they can get it for free -- you fuck, pay, and then over dinner she gets to learn about stocks, bonds, inflation etc.
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Senior Member
 Posts: 116
 Originally Posted by ExpatAmerican
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None of my freebies were over 30. Mostly late 20's. In most cases they reached out to me first.
Was this in SEA countries? This method requires someone to reach out to you so a big Tinder element to it.
 Originally Posted by ExpatAmerican
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You get to know the reason they are there, if they mention that they have some pressing financial need then of course money is expected.
Makes sense.
 Originally Posted by ExpatAmerican
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In a brothel I usually just go for the cutest 18 or 19 yo but on SA I try to build a connection. .
What brothel has so many 18-19 yo, Jakarta?
 Originally Posted by ExpatAmerican
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I do try to keep it as non transactional as possible and sometimes that ends up non paid. I always avoid any girl that brings up money without any effort to get to know each other first.
Yes, same here.
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Senior Member
 Posts: 116
 Originally Posted by FilthyBeaver
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I didn't feel the vibe. Just a feeling it wouldn't work out so I walked away. I asked her what she wanted and she said she didn't care so we had a great dinner, I think I slipped a couple hundred euros in her coat when she went to the bathroom.
We made contact a couple weeks before and she didn't commit to anything. On the day of she texted and asked if I wanted to grab dinner.
So it was a little weird. Maybe something fell through, maybe she just wanted a nice dinner but I wasn't picking up a sexual vibe.
Yes, I also read other SDs saying they didn't proceed because they didn't feel the vibe. But for me, some of my best fucks were with SBs whom I initially didn't like. They just turned out to be tight, wet and energetic. Unless you meant that she was the one who didn't want to proceed
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Senior Member
 Posts: 688
 Originally Posted by FilthyBeaver
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It's not very good. I did hit a very expensive home run in Frankfurt and met an otherwise fuckable girl in Munich that I didn't fuck, just had dinner, but it was a hell of a lot of work as the pool is small and there are just as many time wasters as there are in the states.
Isn't there a SA alternative that is more popular in Germany or Europe in general?
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Senior Member
 Posts: 4028
 Originally Posted by NoBuglyFitches
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How do you (and Elvis, and Akibono) score these freebies on Seeking? Do you agree to meet without discussing price, then you have sex, and she doesn't bring up money and you don't offer money either? If they are older, say 35+, does that mean you are contacting many older women until you find a potential freebie?
To be clear, my question isn't how to get laid for free in general, or whether it's better to fuck a 40 yo for free or to pay a 20 yo etc, but specifically how do people use Seeking to get laid for free?
The reason I brought all this up was about guys getting what they want. We were talking exclusivity but getting it for free is what has come up. While I hope guys see it is possible, that was not my intent. The reason you get laid "for free" is the woman likes you and sees you as a potential quality mate.
And I have had an experience or two as Steve described. It is not all fun.
In the USA, when seeking first came along, I heard of guys getting it for free so what Expat said has been confirmed by others, but I think a guy would be unlikely to get it with the current crop. In other countries, it is much more doable.
For the most part, it was just showing the women a good time that mattered. If you are fun, interesting, and a decent lover, a lot of times that is enough to beat most men. You just do not mention price and behave like you are on a date. Many if not most times a woman has it in her mind that she is going to have sex with you before you even meet.
But you should always be able to appeal to the long term financial interests of the woman if she has a brain in her head. Potential marriage is one way. If you are single, you can tell them, "Well, I do not plan on getting married unless I meet the perfect woman" and let them try to be that woman.
And she may not be focused on your money. If the woman is young and can work in the USA, some will make millions more over a work career than in their home countries.
I was in Colombia and talked to a woman whose goal was to work, build apartments, and rent them out. I told her in Colombia there is currency risk. Most Latin currencies are down by 50% versus the dollar in the last 20 years. So I told her bonds in the USA are paying 5% or so and Colombia is 10% to adjust for that currency risk. I also told her that there is little risk to the equity with bonds and there is no work in comparison to renting out buildings. I told her for me to take on that added risk and work that I would want a 30% return. Her jaw dropped. These were dimensions no one had ever told her existed.
So when guys are talking all women care about is money, they always mean short term. If you have a woman interested in a long term plan, and so few are, then I would fuck me and a lot of guys here for free. I just think guys are perpetually undervaluing themselves or looking for the wrong kind of women. A SB should be interested in learning and achieving long term wealth.
And the age range on these women was like 22 to 32 and most were in their 20's. From a sexual market place POV, which I hate but is reality, women's peak value in all cultures today is 23. After that, their value as a mate on average goes down. So that 27 or 28 year old without a marriage and family is feeling the heat and the decline.
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Senior Member
 Posts: 3219
I have not clicked on the link. I am guessing based on your post and description. I just want to remind others that there are situations that is not exactly under girl's control and you are bring a young girl to a candy store. A good salesperson who is doing the job right is going to make you spend more so just be aware of this and don't be forced into a situation that you are not comfortable with.
I am more of a pay after guy. I only take them shopping when we have already met numerous times and usually it is not associated with sex and I don't expect things in return. If my goal is so they have a great day, then I won't let money to limit that.
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Senior Member
 Posts: 677
 Originally Posted by NoBuglyFitches
[View Original Post]
How do you (and Elvis, and Akibono) score these freebies on Seeking? Do you agree to meet without discussing price, then you have sex, and she doesn't bring up money and you don't offer money either? If they are older, say 35+, does that mean you are contacting many older women until you find a potential freebie?
To be clear, my question isn't how to get laid for free in general, or whether it's better to fuck a 40 yo for free or to pay a 20 yo etc, but specifically how do people use Seeking to get laid for free?
None of my freebies were over 30. Mostly late 20's. In most cases they reached out to me first. I connect with them off the site and start chatting with them as if I met them on any dating site. Get to know them a bit and then meet. You get to know the reason they are there, if they mention that they have some pressing financial need then of course money is expected. But even then with the Muslim girl she was telling me she was behind on her scooter payments by a couple of hundred bucks and I offered to help her and she said no, she can do it herself. So clearly she wasnt looking to get paid (or at least not from me). It is less likely with the 20-25 set but I don't like them that young if I want to have a date with the girl. In a brothel I usually just go for the cutest 18 or 19 yo but on SA I try to build a connection. I do try to keep it as non transactional as possible and sometimes that ends up non paid. I always avoid any girl that brings up money without any effort to get to know each other first.
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Senior Member
 Posts: 532
I didn't feel the vibe. Just a feeling it wouldn't work out so I walked away. I asked her what she wanted and she said she didn't care so we had a great dinner, I think I slipped a couple hundred euros in her coat when she went to the bathroom.
We made contact a couple weeks before and she didn't commit to anything. On the day of she texted and asked if I wanted to grab dinner.
So it was a little weird. Maybe something fell through, maybe she just wanted a nice dinner but I wasn't picking up a sexual vibe.
 Originally Posted by NoBuglyFitches
[View Original Post]
I agree: not very good. I paid 400 euros, though some others with very GND looks did ask 800. 800 can come down to 400 if you got time to wait. As a whole, I thought (white) German women on SA were entitled / full of themselves, not warm, picky regarding looks, and sex was meh
Why didn't you fuck the Munich girl, was she one of those that took the dinner fee and left?
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