Seeking Arrangements

[GoingDumb]

I will keep it short and simple.

If you want something more than "transaction", look for it off SA.

I have come across really sweet girls and been with them for over three years. Trust me, however sweet they are, deep down there are issues. The question you got to ask yourselves is. Have you given enough time for those issues to surface? And, are those issues something you are willing to put up with?

For me, I know I have issues. And that's precisely why I am on SA. I know I cannot put up with those girls issues in the long run from close quarters but they are nice enough to keep at arms length (or dick's length).

P. S: Every relation, real or otherwise, has "transaction" element. SA is explocitly so. Commitment, in my opinion, is not transacted on SA.

Thanks for this. There are definitely issues and I have my own issues too. I'm not really sure what I'd do if she wanted to commit even. How are you able to keep them at arms length despite knowing them for years?

[Gfefan]

I will keep it short and simple.

If you want something more than "transaction", look for it off SA.

I have come across really sweet girls and been with them for over three years. Trust me, however sweet they are, deep down there are issues. The question you got to ask yourselves is. Have you given enough time for those issues to surface? And, are those issues something you are willing to put up with?

For me, I know I have issues. And that's precisely why I am on SA. I know I cannot put up with those girls issues in the long run from close quarters but they are nice enough to keep at arms length (or dick's length).

P. S: Every relation, real or otherwise, has "transaction" element. SA is explocitly so. Commitment, in my opinion, is not transacted on SA.

Could use your guys advice on a situation. Been seeing a girl I met on sa for a few months now. She didn't want usual sugar / ppm but I take her to nicer restaurants and on trips. She made it clear early on she doesn't want a relationship and ended it with the last guy from sa because he wanted more. It was basically a fwb which was fine for me.

After a recent trip I found myself wanting something more serious though. The trip was great but it makes me sad to think these memories of it won't lead anywhere. I'm on the younger side and don't have experience with longer relationships so hoping some of you guys can provide some perspective. She's said she doesn't want a relationship and I'm not naive to try to change her mind. Is it possible to enjoy seeing her knowing it's short term or should I end things and look for something "real" off of sa?

[VanessasClient]

Could use your guys advice on a situation. Been seeing a girl I met on sa for a few months now. She didn't want usual sugar / ppm but I take her to nicer restaurants and on trips. She made it clear early on she doesn't want a relationship and ended it with the last guy from sa because he wanted more. It was basically a fwb which was fine for me.

After a recent trip I found myself wanting something more serious though. The trip was great but it makes me sad to think these memories of it won't lead anywhere. I'm on the younger side and don't have experience with longer relationships so hoping some of you guys can provide some perspective. She's said she doesn't want a relationship and I'm not naive to try to change her mind. Is it possible to enjoy seeing her knowing it's short term or should I end things and look for something "real" off of sa?

You have experienced the "John's Dilemma. " If you try to get too close to her, I guarantee you she will block you. This woman has a transactional mindset; you can view her as exploitive opportunist at best.

If you scroll down this forum, you will notice that some people claim nothing better is to be found off Seeking. I cannot say this with 100% certainty. However, the important question is, if you are looking for something "real", then why sign up on Seeking to begin with? If you have the looks and physical skills to play the dating game (maybe you are a semi professional athlete or mud runner), then stay away from the P4 P scene all together. If you take away money, anyone can develop charm, confidence, and communication talent. But this woman is American, and you are looking for American women, then you'd better be prepared to come with looks, physical prowess, and status.

But for all I know she's not American. What country and or province / state does this woman live? Because if you want to replace her with someone like her, but off Seeking, you will probably face similar issues if the new woman you have yet to meet grew up in this country in an American household.

[Elvis 2008]

She's said she doesn't want a relationship and I'm not naive to try to change her mind. Is it possible to enjoy seeing her knowing it's short term or should I end things and look for something "real" off of sa?

Why or and not and? For me, three sugar babies was about the right number, and I would see them once or twice a week, and the other nights I often was looking for upgrades. If she does not want anything serious, she cannot expect you to be loyal to just her.

She made it clear early on she doesn't want a relationship and ended it with the last guy from sa because he wanted more. It was basically a fwb which was fine for me.

And you know that is bullshit right? If you had the looks of a Clooney and eight figures, she would be completely willing to commit to you. You have a woman who looked at you and said sugar daddy and nothing more. That is fine and enjoy it for what is is. You only want a woman who has burning desire for you who would fuck you if you did not give her a dime and who breaks the rules she set for herself for you. You may not be or look like Clooney but you want a woman who most women would treat like Clooney. If you do not have that, you do not commit. When you are younger, you settle or convince yourself that a woman has burning desire for you when she is about money or family or something else that is not you.

And every relationship you have causes growth if you are willing to learn and with me, I grew more with the ones that were painful than good. You have to date a lot to learn what you want and what are deal breakers. That little annoying habit the otherwise perfect woman has now will drive you bat shit crazy in 5 years if you stay together.

So I met the current gal I am with now, and she was and is a smoke show, the second best looking woman I met in Colombia. Now there were other women in Colombia whom I did not pay I met off seeking, the ones not as pretty. She never mentioned price, but I put money in her purse when we were done. If you polled a hundred people and asked them if this woman was interested in me only for money, I would be shocked if a 100 would not have said yes. Hell, I thought that is how it was.

So a guy on here criticizes me. Why pay her anything if she did not ask for it? I was kind of admitting the only way I would ever get a woman that hot is if she was a pro but then I looked at all the hot women I had been with, and sure initially they were interested in money but I realized in hindsight there were real connections there I did not appreciate. So I thought okay, maybe it is possible she likes me. I did not leave any money the time after that, and it did not matter to her, but I would not have had the confidence to even try that without all those previous relationships.

You are looking for a relationship, and when you do that, you are going to compromise and long term, that spells unhappiness. You need to let it happen versus actively look for it. Date women, stay active, learn but do not force it. The year I met my gal was 2021 during Covid. The amount of top shelf pussy due to women being laid off was astounding, and I was flying empty planes for dirt cheap prices and staying in resorts that cost 10% of what they do now. It was the best year of my life even before I met her.

I would have told anyone I did not want to get married then and then I meet her, and she checked my boxes and if she did not check everyone else's, I would question that person's sanity but instead of excitement with meeting this amazing woman, I was like, do I really want to leave my awesome happy amazing sugar daddy life even for her? And believe me, women can feel that.

If you give off the vibe to a woman that your happiness is dependent on them, they will use that and often crush you. If you meet them when you are happy and they know if they make you unhappy, you will return to that life, they will act a lot differently. Your happiness should not depend on a woman, and you are projecting even in your short post that you will not be happy and fulfilled until you meet someone special. You are focusing on the future, what you think will make you happen. Focus on the now. Learn what does make you happy, pursue that, and be patient. The right woman seems to always come along when you are not looking.

[DramaFree11]

I agree, and it is a huge reason why the sugar game is different and requires more skill than the hooker game. The pricing varies from woman to woman and from locale to locale.

I finally got around to watching the Wolf on Wall Street and saw his take on hookers here: https://vimeo.com/262110281.

$300 for the blue chips, top of the line model types? Gee, I wonder what happened. LOL.

Yep, I laugh at yours and M. Boy attempt to explain this to the MDE Clowns. They will never get it.

If I wanted to write a book on how to be unsuccessful with girls or be unsuccessful in life, these guys would be my example. I usually do the opposite of what they say, so far I am have amazing trips and adventures, honestly with very little drama.

Heading back to CDMX Sunday.

[GoingDumb]

Could use your guys advice on a situation. Been seeing a girl I met on sa for a few months now. She didn't want usual sugar / ppm but I take her to nicer restaurants and on trips. She made it clear early on she doesn't want a relationship and ended it with the last guy from sa because he wanted more. It was basically a fwb which was fine for me.

After a recent trip I found myself wanting something more serious though. The trip was great but it makes me sad to think these memories of it won't lead anywhere. I'm on the younger side and don't have experience with longer relationships so hoping some of you guys can provide some perspective. She's said she doesn't want a relationship and I'm not naive to try to change her mind. Is it possible to enjoy seeing her knowing it's short term or should I end things and look for something "real" off of sa?

[Elvis 2008]

So in summary all sex is paid sex. Pay too much and you kill it. Pay too little and you kill it. I try to be Goldilocks and so far so good (when I follow my own rules!

I agree, and it is a huge reason why the sugar game is different and requires more skill than the hooker game. The pricing varies from woman to woman and from locale to locale.

I finally got around to watching the Wolf on Wall Street and saw his take on hookers here: https://vimeo.com/262110281.

$300 for the blue chips, top of the line model types? Gee, I wonder what happened. LOL.

[Elvis 2008]

I always wanted to make the assertion that most, but not all women are prostitutes in some way, shape, or form, but then women in general start getting all pissy. I think the number of women who only want to know a guy's educational background, religious values, status in the community, etc. And every other trait that "normal" women look for, but DO NOT want to know who is assets are income are, is well under 5%. Perhaps even under 2%, even if they lie about it and claim that money does not matter to them. There are some that do very well in their careers and make enough money on their own, but the ones that don't want even more money are few and far between.

I agree, but do you think that what we men find attractive is baked into our DNA because of breeding purposes? I do.

Well, from the female POV, when women get pregnant, they become unattractive, asexual, and to some degree, helpless when pregnant. So they are looking for men who will not leave them if they do get pregnant and if you are a guy who cannot support them, they are not going to be interested in you. So there is a breeding reason why women find men without money unattractive.

Now when you start talking about women who cannot get pregnant or on birth control and have to have $1000 shoes, that is a different story.

[The Cane]

I always wanted to make the assertion that most, but not all women are prostitutes in some way, shape, or form, but then women in general start getting all pissy. I think the number of women who only want to know a guy's educational background, religious values, status in the community, etc. And every other trait that "normal" women look for, but DO NOT want to know who is assets are income are, is well under 5%. Perhaps even under 2%, even if they lie about it and claim that money does not matter to them. There are some that do very well in their careers and make enough money on their own, but the ones that don't want even more money are few and far between.

Women also lie when they say looks don't matter to them. They absolutely do! I will agree maybe not as much as for a man, but women do care about looks. If a man cares at least 90% of the time, then a woman cares at least 75% of the time, and that's significant. If looks don't matter what do they need pictures for then? I know security is a part of that but still. Looks do matter to women, and don't listen to any bullshit claims from women that they don't! Swiping left or right has everything to do with looks, and both men and women do it.

[VanessasClient]

I always wanted to make the assertion that most, but not all women are prostitutes in some way, shape, or form, but then women in general start getting all pissy. I think the number of women who only want to know a guy's educational background, religious values, status in the community, etc. And every other trait that "normal" women look for, but DO NOT want to know who is assets are income are, is well under 5%. Perhaps even under 2%, even if they lie about it and claim that money does not matter to them. There are some that do very well in their careers and make enough money on their own, but the ones that don't want even more money are few and far between.

Guess I have a few thoughts on the current topic:

First there is usually some guy who wants to argue all Seeking girls are prostitutes because they take money for sex. This is a specious argument because in fact ALL women take money for sex. It's just a matter of how indirect it is. News flash women get married for stability. Pretty sure Bill Gates wife didn't pick him as the handsomest guy on the block. And Jeff Besos cost per fuck is the highest in the entire world. It's all money for sex in the end. It's just wrapped up in prettier packages.

With Seeking you can do too much money and too little money.

I have a friend who (since reformed) used to throw a lot of money at his girls. They become complacent. And because they now view you as a beta they also lose interest. So don't throw too much money even if you can.

And I personally know the perils of trying it "free". I had a girl I was with quite a few times. Truly liked her. Paid her to spend time in the Mediterranean with me. Then flew her to LA. Only covered flights and she agreed to come for nothing. In the end after three days we had a great time but only got one BJ out of the whole thing! We had it out and broke up but basically she started acting like a girlfriend a couple years in "not tonight. Headache. Not in the mood" etc. If she had a big payday coming at the end she woulda been on her best behavior, including sex.

So in summary all sex is paid sex. Pay too much and you kill it. Pay too little and you kill it. I try to be Goldilocks and so far so good (when I follow my own rules!

[FilthyBeaver]

Another thing that most people don't understand is money is only part of the equation. They need to have a connection for the both of you to have a good time. They have no shortage of choices. I know for a fact I wasn't giving a girl what she was used to but I was in the ballpark and she liked my company so we both won.

Guess I have a few thoughts on the current topic:

First there is usually some guy who wants to argue all Seeking girls are prostitutes because they take money for sex. This is a specious argument because in fact ALL women take money for sex. It's just a matter of how indirect it is. News flash women get married for stability. Pretty sure Bill Gates wife didn't pick him as the handsomest guy on the block. And Jeff Besos cost per fuck is the highest in the entire world. It's all money for sex in the end. It's just wrapped up in prettier packages.

With Seeking you can do too much money and too little money.

I have a friend who (since reformed) used to throw a lot of money at his girls. They become complacent. And because they now view you as a beta they also lose interest. So don't throw too much money even if you can.

And I personally know the perils of trying it "free". I had a girl I was with quite a few times. Truly liked her. Paid her to spend time in the Mediterranean with me. Then flew her to LA. Only covered flights and she agreed to come for nothing. In the end after three days we had a great time but only got one BJ out of the whole thing! We had it out and broke up but basically she started acting like a girlfriend a couple years in "not tonight. Headache. Not in the mood" etc. If she had a big payday coming at the end she woulda been on her best behavior, including sex.

So in summary all sex is paid sex. Pay too much and you kill it. Pay too little and you kill it. I try to be Goldilocks and so far so good (when I follow my own rules!

[The Cane]

First there is usually some guy who wants to argue all Seeking girls are prostitutes because they take money for sex. This is a specious argument because in fact ALL women take money for sex. It's just a matter of how indirect it is. News flash women get married for stability. Pretty sure Bill Gates wife didn't pick him as the handsomest guy on the block. And Jeff Besos cost per fuck is the highest in the entire world. It's all money for sex in the end. It's just wrapped up in prettier packages. So in summary all sex is paid sex.

All men are paying for sex, one way or the other. As you say, it's just a matter of how direct it is and how it's "packaged". The only way a man isn't paying and a woman doesn't have a meter on it is if it's truly some recreational, sport fucking, hook-up or something. It happens, but that's hit or miss for the overwhelming majority of men. Most of us must pay in one form or another to have access to a steady supply of tits and ass, and each man must choose what works for him. For me the 5 F's suits my needs (find them, feel them, finger them, fuck them, forget them). Some men choose not to pay and mostly go without. I consider Seeking, if you're not dealing with a pro, to be a soft form or prostitution that has the potential to develop into something else. I mean, non-pros start developing feelings and dependency and stuff.

[Steve 9696]

Guess I have a few thoughts on the current topic:

First there is usually some guy who wants to argue all Seeking girls are prostitutes because they take money for sex. This is a specious argument because in fact ALL women take money for sex. It's just a matter of how indirect it is. News flash women get married for stability. Pretty sure Bill Gates wife didn't pick him as the handsomest guy on the block. And Jeff Besos cost per fuck is the highest in the entire world. It's all money for sex in the end. It's just wrapped up in prettier packages.

With Seeking you can do too much money and too little money.

I have a friend who (since reformed) used to throw a lot of money at his girls. They become complacent. And because they now view you as a beta they also lose interest. So don't throw too much money even if you can.

And I personally know the perils of trying it "free". I had a girl I was with quite a few times. Truly liked her. Paid her to spend time in the Mediterranean with me. Then flew her to LA. Only covered flights and she agreed to come for nothing. In the end after three days we had a great time but only got one BJ out of the whole thing! We had it out and broke up but basically she started acting like a girlfriend a couple years in "not tonight. Headache. Not in the mood" etc. If she had a big payday coming at the end she woulda been on her best behavior, including sex.

So in summary all sex is paid sex. Pay too much and you kill it. Pay too little and you kill it. I try to be Goldilocks and so far so good (when I follow my own rules!

[Elvis 2008]

I feel ya, but the premise is that it is Seeking. It's not eHarmony, Match.com, OKCupid, or Hinge. So why does a girl post on a "sugar dating" site instead of somewhere else? I guess I could give it a shot, and worse case scenario I get an angry response saying I have insulted her, and that's the end of it.

Well, I would never bring that up when online. It is different when you meet them and they see you are real. As for not using those other sites, the reason not to is IMO because you are not going to find the best looking women on those sites. I pulled women off of seeking that were hotter than even the best strip clubs I went to.

[FilthyBeaver]

I once met a psychiatrist that didn't want a thing. I asked her why she's on a sugar site and she told me she's meets more interesting people there than other sites. I thought it was a brilliant answer and absolutely true. The girls half my age I meet there are engaging, mature, and way more interesting than than someone I'd find on another site.

I feel ya, but the premise is that it is Seeking. It's not eHarmony, Match.com, OKCupid, or Hinge. So why does a girl post on a "sugar dating" site instead of somewhere else? I guess I could give it a shot, and worse case scenario I get an angry response saying I have insulted her, and that's the end of it.