Bangkok Reports

[Syzygies]

Agreed; but I think many times it is just the ISG spell checker (text assist?) being over zealous.

SL.

Not in the case of Baht. That is an uncorrected word. Too many really think it is "Bath". The spell auto corrupter is very annoying though, why the hell is "papas an" two words? Simply because "papasan" is not in dictionary

[Syzygies]

So I hastened to Woody's to hopefully get my pipes cleaned. But first I had to endure that Thai tradition of the line up. I always feel sorry for the girls having to go through this undoubtedly slightly embarrassing ritual several times a day. It must be hard for the older or less attractive girls who get seldom chosen if there is a prettier, more shapely option available. The blows to the self image must be devastating. It reminds me of my school days when, despite thinking that I was the next Georgie Best, I was invariably picked last for the football side, after the fat kid and the boy with the guide dog! Its a cruel world.

So, you'the think because of this that I would give one of the less attractive girls a chance by picking her. Fuck that. I went for the young, pretty lass and we climbed the narrow, somewhat rickety stairs to the third floor BJ suite.

Crocodile sympathy from you. Girls have to realize that few customers are really going to be sympathetic to their ugly looks, but fortunately my buddy only likes girls I would call fat, and I like the slimmer ones. Used to be a joke among Farang Expats he would select the ugliest girl in the room. Taste varies. I might ignore the girls with bad nose or tit jobs, because they simply look incongruous.

In Star of Light I was once told by an old hag, that looks make no difference when you get a BJ, but my excitement levels vary tremendously based on how pretty she is. I don't take BJ with eyes closed or in the dark. I don't like to take BJ from fully clothed girls either. Guess I am not really a BJ man nor a HJ man.

We are all used to line ups so it is well accepted, not quite an embarrassing ritual. We can't all have the hots for an old hag, with sometimes her husband/boyfriend/pimp sleeping upstairs. It is known that some customers like me may well be a waste of time without selecting anyone, although at Wood bar I am likely to know in advance who I want. The embarassing part is the potential to go past a Thai boy, that is the partner of your selected girl. I hate those boys hanging around with no where to live.

The girls love customers that cum quick since they don't make huge money per BJ, but I typically take some time, and prefer to book full sex sessions (where girls make more).

I guess ugly girls need to hope word of mouth spreads about their incredible BBBJ talents, to get some business, but times are really tough with even hotter girls struggling to get enough customers.

[Syzygies]

Ha. For some reason, it never even occurred to me that Thailand was pronounced wrong in English.

I don't think Th is always pronounced as a T by Thais though. It seems sometimes they also pronounce Th as a the. I go to "the" store. I want "dis", I want "that". Maybe they can't pronounce Th at all?

Thailand is an English word, so I never heard it pronounced wrong. Vowel "A" is allowed vary in English depending on your country of origin.

There may be a few Thais that can pronounce Thick and Thin, This and That, correctly, if highly educated especially overseas, but not many as a percentage. There are no Thai words with these Th sounds (as in English) at all. So maybe pronounced like a T as in Thailand, or like D more commonly. Yes not always as T. D' cat and D' Dog.
Your post likely was mashed by the spelling auto corrector and so it may not have said what you intended.

Thais even stuff up English pronouns so "he" and "she" maybe used for the wrong sex at times.

[Bunky]

As I wind down the winter and get ready for my summer adventures, here is a consolidated report for the Nana area.

Excellent report sir! Thanks so much for taking the time to post. Much appreciated.

[Smoothy]

For me, I am much more annoyed by native English speakers struggling to incorrectly refer to that Sukhumvit Road bar as "Th"ermae instead of simply "T"ermae. Why they can't accept that the "Th" at the beginning of Thermae is spoken no differently than the "Th" at the beginning of Thailand is weird, imo. I have sat amazed with a fellow actually named Thomas, sitting in Thailand and unable to wrap his head around the idea that Thermae is pronounced "Termae", the way his own name and the country he is sitting in begins and not "Th"ermae the way the words thermos, this and that begin.

Ha. For some reason, it never even occurred to me that Thailand was pronounced wrong in English.

I don't think Th is always pronounced as a T by Thais though. It seems sometimes they also pronounce Th as a the. I go to "the" store. I want "dis", I want "that". Maybe they can't pronounce Th at all?

[Syzygies]

It isn't only on hand-written signs but you will often see it spelled "bath" on professionally produced and finished signs in the malls. Look around, you'll see it spelled that way almost as often as "baht." Actually, there is little reason for a Thai to think the word is misspelled in English as "bath". After all, as far as I can recall, the "th" is virtually always pronounced "T" in the Thai language, as in Thomas, Thailand, Thermae, etc, never as in "This" and "That".

For me, I am much more annoyed by native English speakers struggling to incorrectly refer to that Sukhumvit Road bar as "Th"ermae instead of simply "T"ermae. Why they can't accept that the "Th" at the beginning of Thermae is spoken no differently than the "Th" at the beginning of Thailand is weird, imo. I have sat amazed with a fellow actually named Thomas, sitting in Thailand and unable to wrap his head around the idea that Thermae is pronounced "Termae", the way his own name and the country he is sitting in begins and not "Th"ermae the way the words thermos, this and that begin.

Thanks, that got a laugh out of me being interested in linguistic things.

Th as is "this" and "thick", actually two different sounds phonetically, both don't exist in Thai language. They also don't exist in German language and a few other European languages and hence Thomas (a good German name) sound like Tomas.

English spellings only add the letter H to show that the consonant is aspirated. Hence "khop" sounds like an English K but "kop" sounds closer to gop (a frog). Phuket sounds like Poo-get and never has an F sound. The two Ps in Phnom Penh sound different, because the first is aspirated with H and the second is not. Neither sound like an F of course. Sound is close to P-nom Bane, although the B is not 100% right for an unaspirated P.

พนมเปญ

Baht is a different scenario since the H appears after the vowel only to indicate it is a long vowel sound "ah". Otherwise could sound like butt. Very hard to understand the prevalence of the word "Bath" since the final T is not aspirated.

When Thais make signs in English, they really should get an English person to check it.

Please remember that Pad Thai sounds a bit silly even if some Thais recognise it. It is really Phat Thai, where Phat rhymes with English word butt. Pattaya is pronounced wrong about 95% by westerners. The initial sound also rhymes with butt, and final letter is a long A like the Ah in Baht.

พัทยา

It is very unfortunate that English spellings of Thai words are helping Europeans more so than English speakers. There is no V sound in Thai so a Thai name spelled with a V must be pronounced with a W. Suvarnabhumi airport is really Su-wan-a-poom. The letters V, R and B are all misleading, and final I is silent. What a total fuck up.

[Bouvis]

I have sat amazed with a fellow actually named Thomas, sitting in Thailand and unable to wrap his head around the idea that Thermae is pronounced "Termae", the way his own name and the country he is sitting in begins and not "Th"ermae the way the words thermos, this and that begin.

I must admit I pronounced Thermae as "Thermae" for several years. I think it had to do with coffee shop and thermos coming together in my caffeine craving cranium.

Not that I have ever had a cup of Java there.

[EihTooms]

Thais are the biggest culprits for this.

I see it often written on blackboards promoting daily specials and drink prices in tourist areas.

Not sure how bath crept into the lingua.

Annoys me as well.

It isn't only on hand-written signs but you will often see it spelled "bath" on professionally produced and finished signs in the malls. Look around, you'll see it spelled that way almost as often as "baht." Actually, there is little reason for a Thai to think the word is misspelled in English as "bath". After all, as far as I can recall, the "th" is virtually always pronounced "T" in the Thai language, as in Thomas, Thailand, Thermae, etc, never as in "This" and "That".

For me, I am much more annoyed by native English speakers struggling to incorrectly refer to that Sukhumvit Road bar as "Th"ermae instead of simply "T"ermae. Why they can't accept that the "Th" at the beginning of Thermae is spoken no differently than the "Th" at the beginning of Thailand is weird, imo. I have sat amazed with a fellow actually named Thomas, sitting in Thailand and unable to wrap his head around the idea that Thermae is pronounced "Termae", the way his own name and the country he is sitting in begins and not "Th"ermae the way the words thermos, this and that begin.

[Cunning Stunt]

Has anyone seen my libido? I seem to have lost it. It answers to the name of Mojo and is quite tame these days and never bites.

I thought that a good way of finding it was to take a trip to one of Bangkoks notorious, unique and unrivaled BJ bars. This proved to be a good decision although I initially had difficulty locating my bar of choice, one that I had visited several times in the past. This is Doctor BJs. Little did I know that Dr BJs is now defunct and its replacement on Soi 7/1 is called Wood Bar (figures). I walked the length of the ski and was baffled when I could not find it. Google maps is of no assistance whatsoever in these circumstances, so what is the solution? Easy-peasy. Ask a friendly, neighborhood ladyboy. Although she initially tried to entice me into her lair (bar), she soon realized that was not on the cards, she very kindly pointed out the bar in question which was only a few doors down the Soi.

So I hastened to Woody's to hopefully get my pipes cleaned. But first I had to endure that Thai tradition of the line up. I always feel sorry for the girls having to go through this undoubtedly slightly embarrassing ritual several times a day. It must be hard for the older or less attractive girls who get seldom chosen if there is a prettier, more shapely option available. The blows to the self image must be devastating. It reminds me of my school days when, despite thinking that I was the next Georgie Best, I was invariably picked last for the football side, after the fat kid and the boy with the guide dog! Its a cruel world.

So, you'the think because of this that I would give one of the less attractive girls a chance by picking her. Fuck that. I went for the young, pretty lass and we climbed the narrow, somewhat rickety stairs to the third floor BJ suite.

For those who have yet to enjoy this experience, you don't know what you are missing. It right up there with your first joint or fingering of female genitalia. Well maybe not that good but it sure is a thrill. There is no bed in the room but just a big black chair, like the one used on Mastermind but a bit more comfortable looking. It looks well used and a strategically placed towel possibly conceal scars and stains of former encounters or maybe that's just my overactive imagination.

But first the willy washing which is almost as much fun as what is to follow. You position yourself in front of a large basin and place your meat and two veg on a kind of cock Shute where your privates are gently soaped, washed and rinsed until your bits are sparkling clean and not a drop of smegma remaining anywhere.

This done, you take your seat in the hot chair with John Humphreys on his knees in front of you ready to ask questions on your specialist subject. Or was that a nightmare I had the other night?

To be honest the actual BJ was a little bit of an anticlimax in that I climaxed too soon. The combination of the girls expert ministrations together with my lack of recent sexual activity combined to ensure that I was filling her mouth with baby batter less than five minutes after dick touched lips. It was however, a lovely long drawn out orgasm, the best that I have enjoyed in ages. She let me empty every last drop into her mouth before going off to spit and gargle.

And all for the paltry sum of 1000 baht with a well deserved 200 baht tip.

And who should come running up as I'm leaving but mojo. Good old mojo.

[Cunning Stunt]

That link proved so popular that I have freed up the first five volumes of my blog archives. They are now available to view with no membership or subscription requirement. They cover Bangkok, Pattaya, Jakarta and Manila and although from 2016-17 they may be of interest to some mongering historians and will definitely be of interest to those who like to look at pictures of pretty girls. Note however that there is no nudity; you have to join us for that.

[Deleted by Admin]

Enjoy.

[Sunlover2]

When people use the word bath instead of baht, it makes me crazy.

Agreed; but I think many times it is just the ISG spell checker (text assist?) being over zealous.

SL.

[Bouvis]

When people use the word bath instead of baht, it makes me crazy.

Thais are the biggest culprits for this.

I see it often written on blackboards promoting daily specials and drink prices in tourist areas.

Not sure how bath crept into the lingua.

Annoys me as well.

[Allover]

Agree that costs should be in the currency of the country being discussed. Americans are the biggest culprits always posting amounts in US dollars. If I see the dollar sign am I to I think it is Hong Kong Dollars, Singapore Dollars, Taiwan dollars, Australia dollars, New Zealand dollars? How am I supposed to know which one it is? Only SEA country where USD should be an accepted financial term is Cambodia since USD is the currency most often used in that country. I think what a bargain if a post says that a bar girl is only 100 dollars because 100 Hong Kong dollars is only 390 baht!

I always write B400, for example, to designate baht. Most people understand what I mean by using the letter "be". My Android phone can't make a proper baht symbol.

When people use the word bath instead of baht, it makes me crazy.

[Member #4698]

A Quid is a British Pound currently equal to $1.30684. I know because I just looked it up and because I have been binge watching "the Saint" with Roger Moore on Amazon Prime TV. 555. I am up to Season 3, Episode 4 still in black & white. Sir Roger was a better Saint than a Bond IMHO. There is only one Bond!

Interestingly Shirley Eaton, an English stunner who played the golden girl in "Goldfinger" played a bad girl in an early Saint episode season 2. It was nice to unexpectedly see her on the TV again. AND a very young Julie Christie, a truly smokin' hot British blond also from the 60's, who I used to have a teenage hard on for, played another bad girl in a different early Saint episode from season 1. That's nostalgia.

But don't worry, I am not bored and losing my mind. Ha Ha. There are lots of things to do here in South Florida and the weather is decent, but it's a good thing that I only have 3 months to go until the wheels are down in the big Mango. I can't wait!

[Syzygies]

Who called me a ragbag? I'm many things and doubt whether I would be welcome at many vicars tea parties but I'm not a ragbag.

Why wouldn't readers on here not understand "quid"? This forum is not exclusively made up of former colonials don't you know, old chap.

I have no clue what a quid is currently worth and most non Brits would struggle too. Certainly does not easily let us know if a deal is good or not. I have been to England/Scotland/NE but not recently, and some on here may never have been there.

No one called you a "ratbag", I was only surprised that I thought you said you were banned on some forum. I assume it takes a serious "ratbag" (affectionate term for someone a bit controversial or mischievous) or thread troll to get banned. Someone that stirs up lots of trouble? Maybe not. So I did not mean to accuse you of anything, only surprised.

In Thailand, the currency "pounds" is not pronounced well by Thais and sounds a lot like "born" which is quite tricky till you get used to it. Thais do poorly with multiple consonants together at the end of words, unless very highly educated in English by foreigners.