Pattaya Reports

[Ibn Buttita]

Part of the meaning of that title is that I feel like I was lax in not going for enough massages. Soi 7 near my hotel was saturated with them, but I never partook there. And I mean both for the bodily pampering as well as the sexual play. But I suppose I got my share in, although I never succeeded in having a daily morning massage parlor fuck to start the day.

Massages were a key element on my first two days. I arrived just before the first day of the Saturday evening-Sunday daytime bar closures on account of the elections. My first full day was a beautiful blue-sky Saturday and my desire for a tropical white sand beach (somehow) overcame carnal ones. So I had no bar options after a long day on the beach at Koh Larn (where it was pleasant to see the surely Instagram-inspired craze for Thai girls doing amateur swimsuit photo sessions).

Instead, I opted for a soapy massage, something I hadn't done in years. Around 9 pm I hopped on a Second Road Baht Bus and got off at Sabai Dee (getting off at Sabai Dee, coincidentally, was my intention). Discretion is not SD's thing, with the bright outdoor lighting and row of advertising signs enticing onlookers to indulge their naughty desires with multiple ladies.

On entering a male manager guided me to the seating area to choose my lady from behind the glassed-in L-shaped fishbowl, a selection of mostly busty ladies, with MILFs (in the best sense) well represented. Everything I had read recently about soapy massages advised choosing for a session a lady who interacted with you. Well, a few of the ladies really laid on the sales pitch, in particular one curvy 30-something with cleavage on display. I scanned the lineup and my eyes inevitably met hers when I looked around, drawn to her gestures and pointing at her number tag. Since she had the kind of body that I like in a soapy masseuse, and reminded me if a sexy former work colleague, I decided to see if her performance lived up to her marketing.

I paid the B3,800 fee and when the smiling lady soon appeared I followed her into the elevator upstairs, hand in hand. After ordering drinks she told me that she had worked at Sabai Dee several years, and this became apparent as she went through her routine: she had mastered the art of the soapy, with a seamless sequence of activities and talented moves, especially in the body slide. She also through in some surprises, like a frozen blow job in the tub (thanks to the ice cubes in the drink I bought her), and setting me up with a snack by letting me lick her berry-flavored yogurt-covered breasts. This was topped off with her riding me (the mirror on the ceiling was a bonus here) and me finishing in missionary. She serviced me professionally and wearing a smile at every moment.

The next day, Sunday, was dry. Not rain-wise, although the skies did not open, but booze wise and so I opted for a day of massages while the bars and gentleman's clubs were closed. I headed to Soi Honey as the epicenter of these activities, my second stop being Honey Body Massage. The lack of customers surprised me, given the skimpy options for mingling this day. A manager sat by me and claimed that he knew the kind of girl I would pick. Sure enough, when I selected a 20-something girl with an almost Arab look to her he crowed that this fairly petite lady was a typical farang choice, that the Indians and Chinese would pick a plumper girl. His prediction skills aside, this time it had nothing to do with interaction through the glass (or was there no glass?) since she did not gesture or otherwise market herself like the previous day's lady. I paid my B2,800, and I became even happier with my choice when I met Dao and found that she spoke almost fluent English.

The room had seen a fairly recent renovation, a bit nicer than Sabai Dee, though it was on the cold side and the music station on the television distracted me a bit. Throughout much of the undressing and washing that followed up in the room we conversed about all things Pattaya, and her cooking delivery business during COVID. Dao also had a good grasp on all the soapy sequence steps, but a session down the street an hour before meant that despite several positions I was slow to cum which I think tried her patience a bit, and I could only finish with a hand job.

I think it's best to treat soapy massages as you would an encounter with a skilled and service-oriented nurse, or other non-mongering professional. They're there to get the job done effectively and with skill, but don't expect a passion-filled experience. I didn't do any more soapies this trip, they were too time consuming and it was a been there, done that thing.

The session I had done before the soapy was at Paradise at the Soi Bukhao end of the street. I had walked down past the shops to scope out the talent, and on the way back I walked right up to a sexy, slender MILF and proposed a special massage. She was Nico, and she looked familiar because I had seen her photo on another forum. We went two flights up and occupied one of the cubby-holes and closed the curtain, though we seemed to be the only ones on the floor. Nico sported a friendly smile throughout, but I was processed through fairly quickly a little kissing, a BJ, some riding and another position or two and I soon spent my first shot of the day. Cost: B1,100.

After Honey I had time for one more massage before the bars opened (as it turned out, I just took a freelancer from Beach Road after dinner). I saw an appealing offering at Ava Massage midway down the street. Ammy had called out to me earlier as I was strolling the street, and after my soapy I decided I wanted another Thai-specific experience. Ammy was prettier than others in her category I had seen on Soi Honey, and to put it discreetly, she had something extra to offer. Slender with underdeveloped boobs, I liked this tall, lithe body.

Inside Ava has no rooms, and no cubbyholes like Paradise, just curtains separating low massage beds. This time the soundtrack was the guy on the next table over loudly snoring away, clearly relaxed from his massage! Mine was less relaxing. After I returned from a shower I entered the curtained area with Ammy, dropped my towel, and planted a tongue kiss on their lips, reciprocated nicely. A sensual blow job followed, transitioning into some hot 69 ing. Boom boom was not part of the package I had chosen, which was just as well since I was completely satisfied with cumming in Ammy's mouth as our eyes met (possible the best BBJCIM of the trip). Cost: B1,100.

A couple of days later I was doing an afternoon excursion to Soi Chaipoon / Pothole and saw what looked to me a Brazilian queen outside Meena Massage, sporting darkish skin, frizzy hair, and a flowing floral skirt. (I do like the diversity I see in Thai looks). With a tall, lithe frame balanced by rock hard bolt-ONS, Lin offered exotic kisses and a sensual BJ and 69. With anal on the menu, it was well worth the B1,200 for the hour.

The nice thing about the oily massage places is their efficiency. No chat or drink prelude, no ritual soaping, etc. This was key when I had an hour and a half break between two remote work meetings a few days after my initial Soi Honey spree. I stuck with Honey and this time walked right up to the cleavage I saw in front of Up to You Massage sorry, I mean walked up to the girl who introduced herself as Milky and immediately offered a special massage.

Milky didn't get this name for her Snow White appearance. Dark and covered in tats, she was Latina-style thicc, had a sweet face, and little puppy-dog pony tails made her look super cute. One word comes to mind for Milky: Babe-a-licious. She had the look of the kind of groupie an 80's heavy metal rocker would fuck. I mean this in the best possible way, I was stoked for this session.

The place felt newer inside than Paradise, but still had curtained cubby holes instead of rooms, and the sounds of another massage girls at work, groaning away, were in the air. I got a surprise right away when I stripped and lay on my front, when Milky gave me an excellent real massage, the best I had all trip. But of course we soon transitioned to the reason I was there, and Milky laid on a fine BBBJ and rode me with ferocity. Best was eyeballing and grabbing her round ass, whether I was pumping her in lazy doggy or when she did reverse cowgirl. True to her name, she coaxed the milk out of me (cowgirl, looking at her smile helped me fill the condom), well worth the B1,200. She got the job done on time (I made my second meeting in time), and with a smile I sure had one on too.

And that was actually it for massages on this trip. I really feel like I did not take proper advantage of this resource. I had dreams of rolling up at Sweet's Lounge on Soi Honey every morning at 8 AM to see Ola, but that never happened. Daily I passed so many parlors on Soi 7, but never had the experience of getting "extras" from a uniformed lady, to contrast with Soi Honeys' clear offerings. My biggest regret was that on my last afternoon after a good time at La Poste, I walked over to a massage place on the west side of Buakhao near the Lengkee intersection, to see if the insanely fit and big-boobed cutie I had spotted a few days earlier was still there. She was sitting outside, but I simply had no time left for a session, I had to catch a Baht bus to my hotel where my taxi to Bangkok airport would shortly be waiting. Why did I torture myself?

[Ibn Buttita]

I got to Pattaya after 9 on a Friday night in early May and checked into my room at Flipper Lodge on Soi 8 near Beach Road. That location was quieter than expected with most of the bar complex below closed for renovations. Sitting on the streetside terrace at breakfast (great buffet with different Thai dishes every day, allowing me to sample the local fare while indulging in pub food and Hunger Pangs' mouth-watering burgers for dinner), I looked over at the old-school bars across the street (The Flintstones Bar's name probably does not resonate with many these days! Giving a glimpse of Pattaya's charmingly unglamorous and kitschy past.

I didn't have ambitious plans for my first night, and looked for options close to home. From YouTube the Buzz was that among the week's activities was a party at Shooters Bar on Soi 7 that night. Defining nightlife venues in Pattaya can be confounding; with girls dancing on a stage I'm not sure how Shooter's isn't considered an agogo, but no matter, the place is pure fun. It was a costume night, with nurses, schoolgirls, and policewomen, among others up on the small stage strip and mingling with the guests.

A cutie, Ing, in an undefined but sexy lacy outfit, came up to me and a couple of lady drinks resulted in raunchy grinding belied by her fresh face. She was smiley and had a great sense of humor (pantomimed, we needed Google translate to communicate verbally for the most part) which sold me on her. I paid the barfine of 1,500, and was surprised when the mamasan required the short time payment of 2,000 up front, justifying it on the grounds that it was Ing's first night at the bar and her first barfine. Who knows. At that point I was ready to see the maxim I had heard long ago, "if you can dance you can fuck," play itself out in my room.

Alas, the phrase did not ring true, as once in the room Ing was kind of shy and not the kisser or engaging lover I had expected. She was a real sweetheart, so I felt bad that over the course of the week I ghosted her Line messages and avoided returning to Shooters since I just didn't want to invest in meh sex again, or deal with the drama of barfining another girl there.

But I did return on my last night, Ing's eyes lighting up when I strolled past her sitting outside Shooters at 11 pm, and we commenced a couple of hours of handsy, grindy fun inside the bar, where costumes were again the rage. Shooters is such a fun place and I would say that of any place I visited (which to be fair did not include many agogos) it was the best looking set of girls I saw together in one place on my trip. Hell, it's just worth it to go for the buttered popcorn, which probably ranks with crack for addictiveness.

Besides the aforementioned Kink, another agogo I checked out as a break from trawling Beach Road (see below) was Tahitian Queen. I went in as a nod to Pattaya's history as it supposedly is the town's oldest or original agogo. And I rank it as another very fun place, with some alcohol-fueled shenanigans between the women and gents, and thecor the epitome of tropical island kitch. But it was definitely on the other end of the spectrum vs. Shooters when it came to the vintage and appearance of the ladies. Still, I felt good about having a drink there to absorb some of Pattaya's living history.

One of the best things about Flipper Lodge's location, besides the great sunset views, was the easy access to the nightly Beach Road freelancer market. I made the stroll most nights, even when I was not looking for company either worn out from the day or just wanting to get back to my room to relax just to check out the scene.

On Saturday night, my second in town, I was looking for a bedmate and across from around Soi 10 or 11 I spotted this adorable caramel-hared spinner under a coconut palm. She was friendly and agreed to 1,000 for short time, but then wrote me a message in Google translate about whether I had a "public" hotel. This seemed strange, until she indicated that she did not have her ID card with her. That was not necessarily a no-go at Flipper, as Ing did not have one and so the clerk had me sign a waiver for any losses and she was allowed up, but this girl proposed a short time alternative.

It turned out to be a tiny strip of rooms on a soi just across the street; I paid the manager 200 and we were in. It did occur to me the reason she did not have an ID, although she told me she was 18, and so the whole time I was with her I was kind of wary of having a police sting operation come bursting through the door. But by all evidence this cutie was properly seasoned springing from this spinner body were an Indian-temple caliber set of full, round, boobs. As for the session, mai pen rai with the authorities.

The sex did match my expectations though, as she was pretty tight down there and my equipment was flagging after an earlier body massage (more on that later) and a long beach day on Koh Larn. But this girl was smiley and playful, coming from the shower to the bed in her towel and asking if it was ok that she was a ladyboy (she was joking, but a similar comment over a decade ago on nearly the same spot was all too true, a shock for me lo those many years ago). She also agreed to pics, which will help fuel some fantasy daydreams even if the reality didn't live up to the anticipation.

But I would rank my Beach Road freelancer experience a success thanks to one lady, BB, whom I encountered the next night, Sunday. At 33 (an age that surprised me when she said it) she had more than a decade on the teenie from the night before. But her cleavage-revealing dress and soulful eyes had me hooked, and she agreed to a 1,000 for short time but no anal, as apparently some subcontinental clients' group appointments with her got a little too eager in that area.

BB had pretty good English, as she had worked overseas in this biz, including Panama of all places. But our tongues had other duties that night, in a variety of anatomical locations, and it was the kind of romantic-style mongering I really go for.

A few days later I was in my hotel in the afternoon, and was hoping for a nice session before dinner, so I sent BB a Line message about coming over. After a greeting I heard nothing else, until a slew of apologies the next day. I didn't have many expectations about seeing BB again after that, but I found myself making the Beach Road stroll on my second to last night. I had her Line in my phone but I didn't call her, but I was actively looking for her, passing on some pretty faces along the way. Maybe I wanted a romantic fairy-tale ending?

Which I suppose it was, since my eyes eventually landed on her, sitting next to a friend under a palm tree. I approached, we hugged, and immediately proceeded back to my hotel together. There we had the kind of sweet session I wanted toward the end of the trip to indulge the Thai girlfriend desire.

I kind of regretted not having a lady back in the room every night I didn't miss long time stays, because that seemed like too much fuss and I wanted my alone time mostly because of all the opportunities out there. But in the end it came down to factors like online work commitments to deal with, and ultimately how much energy I had at the end of busy days, and the need for sleep. But some good memories with BB make her visits seem like just enough.

[Ibn Buttita]

I was winding up the night at Kink Agogo on LK Metro in early May, about midway through a 9-day Pattaya visit, the first I had been back in a decade. As I watched from upstairs the platform with the multi-girl lesbian tableau act descend to the ground floor, it occurred to me that this voyeur-ing was my most wholesome activity that day. Which makes the trip a success in my book, but my "want to have it all" mongering spirit makes me yearn for all the options that time and stamina made it impossible to pursue. Most of my past posts have been day-by-day accounts, but I'll put these trip reports together differently, by kind of venue, a bit like a certain Pattaya bar's discord site I had been devouring for weeks leading up to the trip, and since.

[Frankypanky]

Just got back from Pattaya.

I know I haven't done my report here yet, but really nothing to brag about, I did mostly BJ bars in Bangkok and in Pattaya in the morning, and I got lots of freelancers off Thaifriendly so didn't need to do gogo bars or beer bars. I love Thailand, but I wish I could stay longer.

Don't we all wish to stay a little longer in Paradise?

[Frankypanky]

Man. All you guys getting results from TF make me jealous. I will try one more time. But this trip, I will try this strategy:

1- Short Messages -such as. Lets meet ST now.

2- Will not message until I am there and ready.

I have plenty of prospects that are still in my TF account. But have Zero results. I have Never hooked up with a Thai lady via TF. So I'll try one more time.

Dude!

TF is the easiest way to get a fleelancer in your room! But, only AFTER 6 PM or 7 PM to be sure! Most of these girls sleep all day like vampires, bc they tend to wake up when the sun goes down, Hahahaha!

Please try again! And pick two or three girls, bc some 'need 1/2 hours to be ready' even if it's a 15 minute ride on the motobike-taxi.

Good Luck!

[Paolo99]

Remember, there is no such thing as gratitude in Thailand, its an alien concept. "Jai dee" = " good heart" = "sucker".

Wrong, if it was an alien concept they wouldn't have created a Thai word to describe it, Jaidee is a typical Thai word.

Your definition of JaiDee is the one between a working girl and her customer, not the same as used in the Thai society.

And they have empathy for others too, remember around 2013-2014 the German guy with the big foot disease begging in Bangkok? It went viral on the social media and so many Thai tried to help the guy because they thought he was genuinely in trouble.

[Mr Enternational]

Man. All you guys getting results from TF make me jealous. I will try one more time. I have Never hooked up with a Thai lady via TF.

That is shocking. TF must be the easiest app to meet chicks (hookers and nonhookers) in the history of the internet. As the said, you need to have the premium first off. Most chicks message me first. If I message them first then I usually just say you cute or either reference something from one of their pictures. Then I ask what is their work and what soi they stay. Then I may say when I can see you. Then get their Line. I have noticed that most activity on TF is during the night and late night at that. Maybe 2 am. If you are putzing around on it during the day or early evening then my experience is not many chicks send likes or.

Respond at these times.

[MohdirFan82]

Pick your best picture, Most Thai Freelancers don't care how you look and how old are, they only care how much you will pay them short time.

I leave alone girls who say "looking for relationship, friends or looking to go out for dinner or date", This type of girls are in for big bucks or wealthy falangs, Koreans, Japs.

Freelancers generally have good pictures, with most blank profile or little to no info.

Start with Message " Hi, I am in Pattaya on Soi 8 " Are you free?

They will quickly reply, "Yes you pay"? Most of them same girls that are in beach road, beer bars, go go bars drop outs, or newly moved to Pattaya for quick money.

They all will ask you or give you line, and will avoid to discuss money on TF. Freelancers want your money now, not later, or tomorrow.

So if you not ready, don't message them. My TF was bombarded with likes and messages not cause I am Handsome Falang, just cause I wrote, In Pattaya on Vacation.

Most common Short time Price is 1500-2500.

Most of them will happily take 1500 average to ok looking Thai freelancer.

Man. All you guys getting results from TF make me jealous. I will try one more time. But this trip, I will try this strategy:

1- Short Messages -such as. Lets meet ST now.

2- Will not message until I am there and ready.

Previously I had literally 30 of the same type of "Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. You cute Hi Hello Hi Hi" I tried to line up ladies but none could read I guess.

And as previously posted Nothing I said got them to say anything other than the "Hi Hi Hi " shit.

I have plenty of prospects that are still in my TF account. But have Zero results. I have Never hooked up with a Thai lady via TF. So I'll try one more time.

[SuperLove]

The one on the right looks good, any chance to see her from the front. I mean the face and chest size! Enjoy.

A lady just sent me a message asking for 300 baht this morning:

" I got into an argument with someone in the Anzac bar and haven't been working for 5 days. And I've been sick for 3 days. Symptoms include fever and cough and sore throat. More tired today What I fear is Will asthma come back again?

I don't have any money now. If you are convenient enough to lend me 300 baht now, I'm very grateful. And if you're inconvenient, that's fine, I understand. ".

The problem is once a lady sees you as an ATM for free money, it never stops.

The best response is no response.

Meanwhile, I am in Phuket with 2 young ladies.

[Downandup]

I have plenty of prospects that are still in my TF account. But have Zero results. I have Never hooked up with a Thai lady via TF. So I'll try one more time.

You must be doing something wrong but sending messages when you are out of town is going to damage your opportunities. Most of the messages girls get are from time wasters who are not able to meet.

I use premium as it puts my message at the top of the stack and I never send a message to a girl until I want to meet. And I tell them that so that they know I am serious. The only exception is the odd reply to a girl who messages me and I am interested in. These girls may not understand much English either so I keep it short and clear: "ST? I want to meet now, send me your LineId. ".

It's also a good practice to be sure that the girl you are messaging is currently online too, I don't waste my time messaging anyone that has not been active in the last 10 minutes.

[Venturi34]

Man. All you guys getting results from TF make me jealous. I will try one more time. But this trip, I will try this strategy:

1- Short Messages -such as. Lets meet ST now.

2- Will not message until I am there and ready.

Previously I had literally 30 of the same type of "Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. You cute Hi Hello Hi Hi" I tried to line up ladies but none could read I guess.

And as previously posted Nothing I said got them to say anything other than the "Hi Hi Hi " shit.

I have plenty of prospects that are still in my TF account. But have Zero results. I have Never hooked up with a Thai lady via TF. So I'll try one more time.

Just ask how much ST / LT and include your line, that's about all you need to do. If they don't respond then whatever. You are speaking to a handler a lot of the time as well.

[MartinFlevo]

I have plenty of prospects that are still in my TF account. But have Zero results. I have Never hooked up with a Thai lady via TF. So I'll try one more time.

Not sure. But maybe you just aim on the 9/10's and they are busy? The real beauties can be picky themselves (you might be to old for them or just not their type).

I never go for OPTIK fucks. I prefer ladies who speak english and can hold a conversation for more than 2 minutes.

[GentileBear]

Man. All you guys getting results from TF make me jealous. I will try one more time. But this trip, I will try this strategy:

1- Short Messages -such as. Lets meet ST now.

2- Will not message until I am there and ready.

Previously I had literally 30 of the same type of "Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. You cute Hi Hello Hi Hi" I tried to line up ladies but none could read I guess.

And as previously posted Nothing I said got them to say anything other than the "Hi Hi Hi " shit.

I have plenty of prospects that are still in my TF account. But have Zero results. I have Never hooked up with a Thai lady via TF. So I'll try one more time.

[Chan Chalupa]

Policy a New at Palace.

Girls of your wet dreams can come off the stage as soon as you give the OK.

Quite a pain in the AzZ for the mommy as she having to juggle the girls stage to stage to balance them out.

[EihTooms]

If its a lady I've fucked many times before I'd send her the 300 Baht.

If you / we are in town near the girl, her request to "borrow" relatively small money like 300 baht is often merely a pretense to initiate contact in her hope to repeat and see us again. Especially if it is a girl who has enough attributes going for her that it is highly unlikely that she is so desperate for 300 baht.

Mind you, I'm talking about a scenario where you and the girl are near enough to actually meet and the girl is clearly not a typical charity case.

She wants to see you again, not somebody else. Right now if possible. For whatever reason and unless you lavished her with money way over the going rate previously it very well might be for reasons other than just the money. Ok, in addition to the money. And in those cases it would not be because she considers you a sucker or a chump.

Many times that out-of-the-blue Line message where "Hi" is followed by, "Sorry if I am disturbing you but can I borrow 300 baht for my hamster's coffin?" it moves right into "Or I can come see you now. ".

Am I flattering my own ego by saying, hell, I have even gotten out-of-the-blue Line messages from hot young ladies I sessioned with previously asking to "borrow" as little as 50 baht that led directly to the next request to come to her bar to see and take her tonight or for her to come over for LT right now! LOL. Maybe.

I have had many such small money "borrow" requests that were really about just making contact with me again to meet again.

Of course, the first thing that needs to happen in order for it to go there is for many girls to want to repeat and see you again that much. Which is where the ego self-flattering part comes in.

But, hey, I suppose that particular scenario is at least as good a reason to flatter my own ego about it as the guys who flatter their own ego by thinking the reason none of their past session girls ever contact them to "borrow" money in that way is because they are champions at not coming across as suckers or chumps rather than that none of those girls really wants to repeat a session with them very much.

As always, YMMV.