Psycho Hosebeast goes Hot-Diggity Dawg
Last week was a great week for me in terms of poon, but there was one funny incident at "Hot Dog" I wanted to report on. Perhaps it will seem all too familiar in some way to fellow ISG commandos out there.
As many know, "Hot Dog" is the new name of Moscow's iconic pickup joint "Boarhouse", which back in the golden days of mongering was known as Chesterfields, "Chester" or simply "CF".
My Friday night was shaping up to be a club night, which even though was generally to my taste wasn't really what I wanted on this particular night since I was alone. Clubbing alone is sometimes a necessity, however as everyone knows is not optimal in terms of enjoyment or social interaction.
The previous night had been great fun in a booze-o-matic classic club assault. Even though I didn't get laid, I had excellent fire support from fellow ISG commando Bubbly Boy and in just trying to keep up with his flirt barrage, I managed to get 6 or so telephone numbers from girls in the 6-8 category, including 3 numbers from girls I really wanted to have and would give 8s to. I'd texted them during the day, and after an early evening romp with a playboy-bodied regular I'd sent home to her mother at 9p.m., answer texts started trickling in.
Sensually-eyed raven-haired 20ish Svetlana whom I didn't get too far with in the club and even struggled to get a phone number from would meet me on the weekend.
Brunette rich-daddied teen Vika whom I tongue-kissed heavily in the club and already felt up her tits and ass also wanted to meet Saturday, she was staying home tonight because she was hungover.
Ksusha, a sexy-bodied super-siskied 20ish blonde in club garb I'd gotten the number from after exiting the WC in the club I was mauling teen Vika in said she wanted to meet Saturday as well.
Saturday was looking to be an overpacked schedule and so far my Friday was without a date, so I called up all three to see if I could push up the date to Friday, fearing the over-scheduled Saturday would implode on me and I'd ending spinning my wheels. My Russian isn't perfect, but by now I am pretty comfortable with speaking Russian on the phone which has helped tremendously. Some girls just hate writing SMSs and some are embarassed to speak English on the phone, not only because of their supposedly poor English but because they don't want their friends to suspect they are poking a foreigner.
Svetlana didn't pick up the phone, but texted back a few minutes later that she could only meet me on Saturday. Perhaps she wasn't comfortable talking on the phone at the moment, which usually means the boyfriend or parents are in ear's reach. Bubble-breasted teen Vika on the other hand was happy to chat, but also insisted on a Saturday date as her friend was getting married on the weekend and she had to help prepare some things... in addition to her hangover from our club trawl and maul. Blondie sexpot Ksusha was unsure, however I told her basically it was "tonight or never" as I had some "business" the next day. Ksusha seemed to take the hint and said she'd call me back around 11 pm as soon as she knew what was up.
None of this was extremely promising and I almost panicked. I had my phone in hand and was about to jog dial through existing contacts and try to get a last second "come on over" poke. It's not such a bad option really, but on a Friday night poking a regular seems a bit of a defeat. Regulars are for Monday and Tuesday nights. That or *****s.
Then I remembered that there was hockey on tonight. The semifinal game between Russia and Finland was on and I decided to watch it while having a beer and either waiting for Ksusha to get her sexy ass in gear or go out alone and declare war on morality.
Of all the sports venues around, I still prefer Boarhouse/Hot Dog. Lots of screens, affordable alcohol and usually a mix of *****s and regular girls to gawk at in between sipping beer and watching the screens. Important thing is just to make your escape before the drink sets in and you cross the Rubicon and decide to stay, meaning you're reduced to the ho option unless you get lucky on one of those rare nights were a freebie has wandered into Hot Dog by mistake.
Arriving at Hot Dog, I took my place at the bar and ordered a beer. While watching the game, which Russia was soundly winning, I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked to my right. Instantly I almost jumped back 3 feet or so. A broadly smiling crazy-eyed hatchet-faced dark-skinned girl was looking at me with a devilish toothy grin and obviously had some sort of agenda.
"Remember me?" she stated in laughingly broken but comprehensible English. No, I didn't. She was so dark that she looked Indian or gypsy, but was most likely Uzbeki or Tadjiki. My experience with Uzbeki and Tadjiki women has been mixed, they are either sexpot rockets or insanely jealous psychos. She had "psycho" written all over her worn and used face. Her nose was slightly crooked too, as if if had been broken and never properly healed. This girl's life story was written all over her plain face.
"No, I don't" I replied slightly surly, as I knew what would come next.. the inevitable "can you buy me a drink".
Psycho Hosebeast surprised me though and didn't go straight for the drink, instead insisting we knew each other from before.
"Don't you remember me?" she repeated in a joking voice, "We fucked!". Then she laughed nasily through her crooked nose. I scanned my memory files and although I came up with a few Uzbekis and a few trashy looking types I'd screwed in the last few years, her face didn't register. I laughed and insisted we didn't know each other, as I "remembered every girl I ever slept with", which is probably true. The ones I might have forgotten I have forgotten, so I do remember every one I remember. Huh?
But I hadn't slept with her, I was sure of that, and soon she admitted it was a joke, following up seconds later after all with the inevitable "can you buy me a drink?". Having nothing better to do, I bought Psycho Hosebeast a 170 ruble rum and coke. We traded war stories for awhile and after telling me what an honest and good girl she is, she unabashedly informed me about how she liked to lick out assholes, liked to have hers licked, loved big cocks and tough-looking men and most of all how she was crazy in bed and liked her tough men to be crazy and unpredictable yet submissive sexually, because she was so possessive and active. She didn't mind telling me about her favorite ex-bfs in detail, who seemed mostly to be English or German and liked having really wacky shit done to them like being pissed on and slapped around.
Although I've never been pissed on and maybe I am somehow missing out on the end-all-be-all of sexual pleasure, somehow "Uzbeki-crazy" is not really sexy in my opinion, at least I haven't had good experiences with it... especially when the crazy Uzbeki is one that has been run through the ringer a hundred times like this one. Like I said, "Psycho". Last Uzbeki girl I had I had to literally throw out of the apartment at 6 am or so and she made a huge scene on the street near the bus station as early morning commuters looked on in mild bemusement and barely-concealed contempt as she clutched my leg desperately, theatrically swinging her head back and forth and loudly begging me to fuck her again and to love her. God it was awful and embarassing. And I even had paid for that one. Way too much actually. What a disaster that had been.
I continued to nibble on my nachos and drink my beer and the crazy chick asked for another drink. I agreed, but overheard her quickly ordering a rum and coke for herself and a margarita for her fat girlfriend sitting at the bar around the corner from us. Realizing she was trying to play on my generosity, I called the bartender back and cancelled her order and went ballistic on her.
She immediately became defensive and resorted to the ultra-lame and predictable "Ho Defense 1", claiming her "extra order" had been a misunderstanding and that my reaction betrayed me as being "cheap" and as she faux-sobbed, sadly murmured that I was "not a kind man".
I hate stupid games like this.
Having settled down from my initial anger, I calmly informed her that she was a "a lying cheating *****" and told her to get lost, which she did for a few minutes as she scurried away to her fat friend, who seemed to have multiplied as now they were a gang of three trolls, all of them looking at me with an evil stare and undoubtedly cursing my very existence.
Thankfully at this moment blonde hottie Ksusha sent me a text saying she wanted to meet around midnight and as the hockey match drew to a close, I prepared my exit. Psycho Hosebeast came back over to me and wanted to know with whom I was texting. I said it was a girl I was going to meet. Psycho Hosebeast was jealous and demanded to know more. "How old is she? Is she pretty?".
"About 21 and super hot" I said, although actually I didn't know her age exactly, just that she looked great in too-tight jeans and an even tighter t-shirt that revealed every curve of her developed breasts. This upset Psycho Hosebeast greatly, who must have been 30ish or more and whose body was still slim but beginning to fly apart at the seams, causing her to start off on loud tirade about how I was stupid to like kyoung girls because young girls didn't know how to fuck.
"Thankfully I do know how to fuck which kind of balances things out, darling" I said deadpan. Sh wasn't particularly amused. I however found it mildly amusing that she would so loudly make such a statement as some 18-20-ish looking hottie hos started to trickle into Hot Dog for a night of customer-trawling. I'm sure they fuck just fine.
I continued that "I appreciate a somewhat more experienced woman at times, as they can be great in bed and have learned some skills along the way, but the beauty of youth combined with a genuine excitement and joy in having sex is a great thing too".
She was angry, trying to read the messages on my phone as I held it in my hand. She became increasingly agitated and started mumbling some incoherent talk about her sex skills and ass-licking and constantly saying "crazy" and "wild" as if they were the greatest aspects of her sex repertoire. I really don't know how her English and German boyfriends deal with it. Seeing I wasn't going to buy her any more drinks or offer to fuck her, she fumbled through her purse and pulled out her mobile and started showing me texts she had exchanged with a boyfriend that night, some bouncer at a club in Moscow I have forgotten then name of, I think it was Metallitsa, writing to him about "the stupid American" she just met. So stupid of me not to buy her drinks and so stupid of me not to want sex with her.
Stupid me left about 3 minutes later to meet the blonde and the rest is porn history. She didn't disappoint.
Leaving Russia with a Bang
Experience in Strip club [b]Shandra[/b]
This was our last night in this country before we get back to the USA. And what a night it was!
From the beginning, our plan was very simple. After 10 days in St. Petersburg (see my report here: [url]http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=746079&postcount=1084[/url],) we will take the overnight train to Moscow and from there we go to the SVO airport directly for our flight back home. But soon we hit a problem. All the seats for overnight train from SPB to Moscow were sold out. Instant change of plan. We booked the afternoon train from SPB arriving in Moscow around 10 PM (700 P for sleeper coupe–what a bargain!). My friend already liked a girl in Shandra in our earlier visit and I also got intense lap dance (almost made me come in my pants) from a girl twice. So we thought we will spend our last night there and then go back to the airport in the morning.
After reaching Moscow, we left our luggage at the train station. We came out and booked a taxi for the airport for the next morning (2000 P). We told the driver that we will be back around 6:30 AM.
We took the metro and very soon reached the Sukharevskaya station. After a light dinner, we were heading for Shandra around 12:30 AM.
For a very good description of the Strip club Shandra follow this link:
[url]http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/showpost.php?p=652447&postcount=1476[/url]
From the metro station (from the side of McDonald) walk along the ulitsa Sretenka, away from the main avenue. After 5 or 6 streets, you will be able to see lighted Shandra sign on your left from the street. Make a left on the side street, walk about 200 meter and enter the club. Entry 500 P.
Club was very quiet. It was Saturday night and around holidays. Hardly any client, may be 4 or 5. About 15-20 dancers. But neither my friend nor I could locate our previous sweethearts. I took a beer and sat in a dark corner. Very soon all the dancers were approaching one by one for the lap dance. Whatever the time (my friend sometimes got 15 -20 min), both of us paid 100 P for the dance. Very rarely, if I got really involved, I paid 200 P. Let me tell you, some of the girls were really hot! During the dance I was carefully checking out prospective girls for an intimate session. However, I knew the price was a problem. Last time one girl quoted 6000 P/hr and another one 8000 P for 30 min.
Very soon one fairly tall, pretty blonde with a beautiful figure, was approaching me. I remembered her from our previous encounter, since she spoke English. Most importantly, she had a gorgeous pair of natural breasts, I ever encountered. The moment she sat on my lap, I got very excited. I immediately started sucking her breasts. Her nipples got instantaneously hard and I clearly felt that she was also getting into the act. I asked her to kiss me (although I knew it was not allowed inside the club). She said she will only do it when we make love. I immediately knew she was the right one. I really don’t enjoy a session without DFK. After an intense 10 min lap dance, I asked her whether she will be interested in a session. And I clearly ruled out the private dance option. She looked straight at me and said “yes”. (By the way, not all dancers will go for the SEX option. As it turned out, even this girl also does not do it that often). I told her to come back after an hour around 2:30 AM. Still no money was discussed—my biggest hurdle! Meanwhile, I was getting generous lap dances from all the dancers. By now the numbers crossed well over 10.
One of the girls, Taniya, turned out to have a great command in Spanish. She apparently spent last two years in Spain working in clubs. My Spanish is way better than my Russian. I felt overjoyed being able to speak freely with a Russian girl in a language other than English (preferred but seldom available). I felt I was in a club in Buenos Aires. Our conversation overshadowed her lap dance. I had no interest in lap dance, I just wanted to converse with her. She also felt the same way. She told me that she will put on some clothes and join me soon. She came back promptly. I wanted to buy her a drink. She refused. She told me not to spend the money, because the girls’ drink costs 700 P. What a girl! While we were talking, other girls were still giving me lap dances to which I had no more interest. For me conversation with a girl is real aphrodisiac. At this point I was gradually feeling drawn to Taniya, but I already promised the other girl and her breasts are still in front of my eyes. I apologized to Taniya to this effect and asked her about the other girl, pointing to her from a distance. You see, I still didn’t know her name. It turned out, she and Taniya are close friends. Taniya was praising her profusely and said I would have a wonderful session. Meanwhile, it past 2:30 and my girl is still not returning. I got confused. I walked over and motioned her to come back. I think she thought I will take Taniya instead of her. Once she came, the negotiations started. I offered her 3000 P for the hour. She said for half an hour. Finally we agreed on 4000 P for the hour (that’s the maximum I paid in this trip). Only thing I negotiated was BBBJ. I am not used to CBJ that I was receiving so far. She took the money and went to get the key.
Next 58 min (they are very particular about time in the strip clubs) is still a blur. In an instant, we threw out our clothes and she started with DFK and BBBJ. Immediately, I knew I was in for a treat. Loved DATY followed by volcanic eruptions. And those breasts….. still haunting! Everything was dripping wet. My dick was sliding all over. She was apologizing for being so wet and then held me tight and whispered in my ear “fuck me”. At some points it really seemed unreal! We went through multiple positions. Then I finished in her mouth and she swallowed the whole load. A five minute break and we were at it again like two high school kids. I don’t remember when the last time I had such an intense love making session. The only position we did not go through was “anal”. She said it hurts! That was enough for me. I finished again in her mouth and face. I have been doing this for a while. But this experience was so unique that I was still reeling from it. I never experienced a SP can get so excited. By the way, it is about time I divulge her name: she is a 23 yr. old bonafide Moscovite, [b]IRIS.[/b] She lives with her mother in an apartment.
Around 4 :00 AM we came back inside the club. IRIS told me she will join me in two minutes. She came back as promised and became very cozy. She said she does not have to do anything anymore and will spend the rest of the hour with me. I offered her a drink and she refused.
My mind was really clouded with many questions. I just asked her point blank “what happened in the room”. Her explanation was very simple. She liked me and she did not have sex for two weeks. She explained that she really enjoys dancing. She performs lap dances but only have sex few times a month, if she likes the person. She admitted that as soon as I touched her and sucked her breasts during the lap dance, she got very excited and wanted to do it right away. Then she whispered “I came four times and you only came twice”. I looked at her in disbelief and she was staring at me with a playful smile. She left at 5 AM after planting a DFK (as she promised earlier). FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE!!!!
We left Shandra around 5:30 AM. Metro opened around 5:40 AM. We came back to the train station where we left our luggage. Our driver had a big smile on his face. Very soon we were on our way to the airport! What a finish of a memorable trip!!!!
Bandy
PS: Iris gave me some information, may be board veterans can confirm:
Girls have to pay entrance fee to work in the club (is it true?).
Saturday, Sunday and Monday, entrance fee for them is 50 P; Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, entrance fee 300 P and Friday 500 P.
Many girls make 20000 to 24000 P per night from tips. I would tend to believe that includes sex or many private dances.
Iris works only 10 days a month. She said she makes enough!
There are some Russian patrons who come once or twice a month, who just throw money in the air for the girls to collect. Forget about sex, they don’t even care for lap dance. Just drink and have a good time
