Suzi Wong in Patong, Soi Sea Dragon
I stopped by Suzi Wong in Soi Sea Dragon a few days ago. In fact there are two Suzi Wong's in this Soi, I was in the one at the end furthest from Bangla road. Not sure what I was expecting but here goes:
I entered the place at about 9pm on a weekday. A cluster of pole-dancing girls were pole dancing (probably 6-8 of them) on the "stage" or rather table in the middle of the place. The thing was, this was much more fun than your regular gogo bar where the gals typically seem very bored. All the gals had these styrofoam "batons", which they would use to hit the customers with. As I sat up close to the dancing girls, a couple of them approached me and started hitting me with these styrofoam batons. This stuff makes a hell of a lot of noise but not much pain. Then they proceeded to grab my shirt and pull it over my head, baring my back. Now I had two fairly hot chicks repeatedly hitting my naked back hard as they could. After a little while I grabbed a baton myself and started slapping the chicks, they were sticking their butts out daring me to hit them as hard as I could. And man, I tried! It was a lot of fun. After a while the song ended, and one of the chicks approached me for a drink. I complied, we retreated to the back of the place. There an extended lap-dancing session started, with plenty of groping and physical contact. For the price of a lady drink it was in fact very good value, I had a great time. Then after a while she asked me if I wanted to go upstairs. I asked about the cost. 3000 baht all in, including short term barfine (600 baht) and the rental of the room (400 baht). Not really cheap, but I was having a rather good time and thought why the heck not.
So we went upstairs (actually two floors up). The room was basic, but nice and clean and rather spacious. It had a shower in the corner, a bed, and some fresh towels. The sex was actually very good. My girl whose name I cannot remember was very enthusiastic and put in a lot of work to make sure I was satisfied. DFK, BBBJ and CFS, and really quite sweaty and physical sex.
Recommended.
Took a bullet for the team
ok, you are smarter than me and didn't need me to take this bullet. that's sincere. but i did it so i'll tell you about it for what it's worth.
there's only so much "where you from / how long you stay?" i can handle. i decided to investigate the russian clubs in patong. i read terrible things about them, and i figured at least i knew what the baseline was, and i could go in and have a laugh.
man, it was no laugh.
i visited moulin rouge. while i did see some really amazing pole dancing, that was worth the price of my 280 baht beer, i did also have to deal with the girls coming up and dancing for 30 seconds and saying "tip tip tip". that is really no exaggeration. it's as flat out bad as anyone has reported. aggressive like nothing i've encountered anywhere in any part of the world.
you can say no. you can refuse to make eye contact. you can wave your arms. you can cross your arms. you can say no dance no dance no tip no tip and they will keep on dancing and saying tip tip tip. you cannot stop it. if you keep insisting eventually they will go away. i did have one girl say "tip me and i will go away" but i just kept saying no dance, no tip and she did cease and desist.
the sad part is that these tips are 100 baht and most places in the world this is nothing, it's insane to be going to combat over what is basically $3. 00.
but that's what these places are about.
even if you sit down and have a drink with a girl others will come up and insert themselves. nobody cares because it's all about short term gains.
i exited this place with minimal damage, it was not bad other than the aggressive stuff and you could fight it off or just pay it and let them go on, because the pole dancing was actually really good as all things are measured in the world.
the major mistake i made was going to l'amour and checking that situation out. had a few drinks with a really beautiful girl who dropped out and hit up other people for tips, and that set me up for disaster (trying to make up for a loss). next pretty girl who drank with me asked me to go out for short time, at 3, 000 baht. stupidly i said yes. one hour. she then said two hours and stupidly i said yes, but smartly i said i would pay after.
paid the bar the first part and went home. she wanted a drink on the way, i thought ok, but she went into a family mart and wanted 1 liter of scotch and 4 liters of coke! surely this cannot be so sophisticated as to be some kind of kickback scheme. but what followed next was hilarious. the 205 baht 700cl scotch they refused to sell and would only give the 1 liter. i said the 700cl was 205 baht which i didn't mind paying, but they said no it's 500 baht. and they went and took the prices down from the shelf! amazing, peeled the price tags right off the shelf as i was looking. put the 1 liter in front of me as i was asking for the 700cl. with about 5 people in line behind me. and this is when i noticed the 4 liters of coke sitting in front of me that this girl put down!
i just shook my head and walked out of there.
back home she drank my booze and smoked. asked for the money to extend another hour. i said ok as this was in the plan. then she asked for more money,"you pay manager with this, now you pay me". i said no. had to demand the money back and said i'd go back to the club and ask for the rest of my money back as this was all a scam. she actually got down on her knees and said please no, this will be a big problem. so i said ok, sit down and tell me why you're doing this. then she actually asked for triple money for the existing hour plus cab fare. for sitting and smoking and drinking my booze.
so, off we went back to the club with me not handing over anything. she ran away as we got near the club but i guess went in a back door as i saw her there again.
i knew this was futile but at least i did what i could. the manager woman just laughed. said, she was with you two hours (no) , said you enjoyed your time with her (no). i don't think the manager knew i got half refunded already. but anyway, after she said she didn't care i just said yes, i know, you're russian. on the way out the thai staff shouted "sorry!" and i think they were sorry for sure haha. no doubt they've seen it all before.
there it is.
i did mostly the wrong things, but it was an experiment. i did escape with some of the pocket intact, i did pay a lot relatively for the experiment.
i think this conclusively says do not go to these places even though that was already the common knowledge.
i think these girls are staying in dorms above the club. probably have their passports held by these people. just a bad scene all around. avoid at all costs. i hope the thais find a way to get rid of the russian presence. i thought the investigation would be a bit more amusing than horrible, i was prepared to throw some money at verification of the claims, but in the end it was just a sad situation.
heed my warning.
everything about these places are grim and terrible, other than the fact that you can actually see some very first class pole dancing. but it's like looking at a flower while someone is punching you in the face. it's not worth it.
Took a bullet for the team
ok, you are smarter than me and didn't need me to take this bullet. that's sincere. but i did it so i'll tell you about it for what it's worth.
there's only so much "where you from / how long you stay?" i can handle. i decided to investigate the russian clubs in patong. i read terrible things about them, and i figured at least i knew what the baseline was, and i could go in and have a laugh.
man, it was no laugh.
i visited moulin rouge. while i did see some really amazing pole dancing, that was worth the price of my 280 baht beer, i did also have to deal with the girls coming up and dancing for 30 seconds and saying "tip tip tip". that is really no exaggeration. it's as flat out bad as anyone has reported. aggressive like nothing i've encountered anywhere in any part of the world.
you can say no. you can refuse to make eye contact. you can wave your arms. you can cross your arms. you can say no dance no dance no tip no tip and they will keep on dancing and saying tip tip tip. you cannot stop it. if you keep insisting eventually they will go away. i did have one girl say "tip me and i will go away" but i just kept saying no dance, no tip and she did cease and desist.
the sad part is that these tips are 100 baht and most places in the world this is nothing, it's insane to be going to combat over what is basically $3. 00.
but that's what these places are about.
even if you sit down and have a drink with a girl others will come up and insert themselves. nobody cares because it's all about short term gains.
i exited this place with minimal damage, it was not bad other than the aggressive stuff and you could fight it off or just pay it and let them go on, because the pole dancing was actually really good as all things are measured in the world.
the major mistake i made was going to l'amour and checking that situation out. had a few drinks with a really beautiful girl who dropped out and hit up other people for tips, and that set me up for disaster (trying to make up for a loss). next pretty girl who drank with me asked me to go out for short time, at 3, 000 baht. stupidly i said yes. one hour. she then said two hours and stupidly i said yes, but smartly i said i would pay after.
paid the bar the first part and went home. she wanted a drink on the way, i thought ok, but she went into a family mart and wanted 1 liter of scotch and 4 liters of coke! surely this cannot be so sophisticated as to be some kind of kickback scheme. but what followed next was hilarious. the 205 baht 700cl scotch they refused to sell and would only give the 1 liter. i said the 700cl was 205 baht which i didn't mind paying, but they said no it's 500 baht. and they went and took the prices down from the shelf! amazing, peeled the price tags right off the shelf as i was looking. put the 1 liter in front of me as i was asking for the 700cl. with about 5 people in line behind me. and this is when i noticed the 4 liters of coke sitting in front of me that this girl put down!
i just shook my head and walked out of there.
back home she drank my booze and smoked. asked for the money to extend another hour. i said ok as this was in the plan. then she asked for more money,"you pay manager with this, now you pay me". i said no. had to demand the money back and said i'd go back to the club and ask for the rest of my money back as this was all a scam. she actually got down on her knees and said please no, this will be a big problem. so i said ok, sit down and tell me why you're doing this. then she actually asked for triple money for the existing hour plus cab fare. for sitting and smoking and drinking my booze.
so, off we went back to the club with me not handing over anything. she ran away as we got near the club but i guess went in a back door as i saw her there again.
i knew this was futile but at least i did what i could. the manager woman just laughed. said, she was with you two hours (no) , said you enjoyed your time with her (no). i don't think the manager knew i got half refunded already. but anyway, after she said she didn't care i just said yes, i know, you're russian. on the way out the thai staff shouted "sorry!" and i think they were sorry for sure haha. no doubt they've seen it all before.
there it is.
i did mostly the wrong things, but it was an experiment. i did escape with some of the pocket intact, i did pay a lot relatively for the experiment.
i think this conclusively says do not go to these places even though that was already the common knowledge.
i think these girls are staying in dorms above the club. probably have their passports held by these people. just a bad scene all around. avoid at all costs. i hope the thais find a way to get rid of the russian presence. i thought the investigation would be a bit more amusing than horrible, i was prepared to throw some money at verification of the claims, but in the end it was just a sad situation.
heed my warning.
everything about these places are grim and terrible, other than the fact that you can actually see some very first class pole dancing. but it's like looking at a flower while someone is punching you in the face. it's not worth it.
Mickey Mouse. Soi Sea Dragon
Enjoyed a couple of evenings with the ladies at Mickey Mouse on Soi Sea Dragon. Not much talent, but a couple of lovelies. Watch out though, there was one girl behind the bar that appeared to be clearly under-age. Gave Kai a ride and was happy to have chosen her.
