General Info

[QUOTE=Bearsi;2850289]...
I have that Robert de Niro HEAT mentality "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner. ".[/QUOTE]Obviously you can't just walk away from a marriage or your kids but you can prepare for the consequence, good or bad. I know a group of people around your age in the area I live. They are all financially stable. One of them is a lawyer. She gave advice to her friends how to make finance separate in a relationship. Basically, their finances are independent in the eyes of the law before marriage, and will be independent during marriage. It's easier when the couple in the marriage are both financially independent and both agree to it before even the relationship started. It makes money less a problem during divorce.

Some women are affected by hormone level change more than some others. Having a child probably will affect them a lot more. If their hormone level does not go back to normal, then the woman probably will be different.

[QUOTE=Nounce;2850338]Obviously you can't just walk away from a marriage or your kids but you can prepare for the consequence, good or bad. I know a group of people around your age in the area I live. They are all financially stable. One of them is a lawyer. She gave advice to her friends how to make finance separate in a relationship. Basically, their finances are independent in the eyes of the law before marriage, and will be independent during marriage. It's easier when the couple in the marriage are both financially independent and both agree to it before even the relationship started. It makes money less a problem during divorce.

Some women are affected by hormone level change more than some others. Having a child probably will affect them a lot more. If their hormone level does not go back to normal, then the woman probably will be different.[/QUOTE]Yup.

Legally speaking, depending on local laws, when the money is in different accounts like you stated than the woman or man can't touch it since it's not shared in a joint account. It's not easy or simple of course to shield yourself but like you said you can help which I definitely preach.

Famously there was a recent case where a football player wife divorced her husband and when she tried to get her half of his wealth, she found out legally he owned nothing as he had everything under his mother's name and so she went home with nothing. If you have a good relationship with your folks or even friends it can be a good idea to try but risky too.

[URL]https://www.indiatimes.com/trending/human-interest/achraf-hakimi-wife-demands-his-fortune-in-divorce-he-owns-nothing-599445.html[/URL]

The one thing I would ask is how much debt she has. Some people are shocked to find out their spouse has hundred of thousands of dollars in debt and now it's both your debt. I understand a business loan or maybe a student loan with a good working degree but maxed out credit cards and / or payday loans and BS like that I would turn away from. If they happen to die, that student loan debt is like a cancer and attaches to the next of kin and now I'm stuck. I've worked too hard and good to keep a good record and no debt to let that happen.

I've been recently following this youtube channel where real people talk about their real finances and most of them are just bad. One of the one's I linked, the wife had a GI Bill pay her college and yet she managed to still pay 52 k in student loans AFTER the GI BILL. She refuses to cook, get a part time job and gets fast food almost 3 times a day.

That makes no sense and that marriage is doomed. A clear red flag.

[URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=931lB6EhexA&ab_channel=CalebHammer[/URL]

[URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84eAKV7MRd4&ab_channel=CalebHammer[/URL]

And yes the hormones are unpredictable. A miscarriage can rock the boat as well. Postpartum depression is very real. Lots of things to learn about and I thank god I am not a woman and have to deal with all this BS.

[QUOTE=MrEnternational;2850062]Leave it to Beaver was not real! Seems you are looking to create nostalgia for yourself. First thing to know is that your dream is not necessarily that of others. You can have all the good intentions in the world, but your situation can turn out shitty. You never know unless you try, but is trying worth the risk?........[/QUOTE]I agree with the others that said to post this on the 'Best of' or 'Reports of Distinction' board. I met you in person, or at least I think I did, back in the 2010 ish timeframe in Santo Domingo, DR. We only had a couple beers, but I could tell that you had were quite thoughtful and had wisdom.

It's not the post optimistic way to look at life, but the older, more financially secure, and more set in my ways that I get, the more that I realize marriage is a heck of a gamble. I've worked hard and built up comfortable assets. I may also inherit a sizable amount. I'd love to have a couple kids, but overall I'm happy with my life and the freedom I have. I'd hate to be in a position where I have so much of that taken by someone via marriage that I've known for less than 5 years. I'd even be more disappointed if I had a child with the 'wrong' woman, because then I'd be impacting more lives than my own.... and young ones at that.

[QUOTE=Bearsi;2850344]...The one thing I would ask is how much debt she has. Some people are shocked to find out their spouse has hundred of thousands of dollars in debt and now it's both your debt. I understand a business loan or maybe a student loan with a good working degree but maxed out credit cards and / or payday loans and BS like that I would turn away from. If they happen to die, that student loan debt is like a cancer and attaches to the next of kin and now I'm stuck. I've worked too hard and good to keep a good record and no debt to let that happen....[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Chicago85;2851125].... I may also inherit a sizable amount. I'd love to have a couple kids, but overall I'm happy with my life and the freedom I have. ....[/QUOTE]I don't know all the detail but I know the basic principle about how these things work so I google to confirm. Both should not be a problem but don't take my words for it and you have to check the detail. The strange thing about the law is that it assumes everyone knows the details when in reality most people don't, myself included

That is why I brought up a lawyer in my original post because she knows the details. She enjoys luxurious things so she studied hard and works hard to get what she wants herself. She had a boyfriend from college for about 10 years. She broke up with him because she was tired of waiting for marriage. She is dating a medical surgent now. Her brother also has a girlfriend from school. The girlfriend is an engineer in a high paying large tech company, and makes more money then her brother who is in the same profession. With dual income like theirs, they can buy a million dollar house without much difficulty. It can turn into an investment that the house may be worth 2 millions by the time they divorce so dual incomes is a good idea and it's a must for most people who is afraid of financial lost. I am not saying it is easy as meeting the equal counterpart is not that easy, but one can't look for them in hooker or just random people. At my work, I can easily find man like me but zero woman that can match or close to my pay grade.

[QUOTE=TjBrazil;2850315]Patrice o Neal sums up in this clip why it's so hard to quit mongering when you're older:

[URL]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yUYYX13uB4E&pp=ygUSUGF0cmljZSBvIG5lYWwgc2V4[/URL][/QUOTE]Every man's got a choice to make.

If I'm hungry is new pussy going to feed me? NEW PUSSY CAN'T COOK!

There's no wrong or right answer either way but I'm definitely not going to be that 80 year old man in scandallo that was coughing up a lung or two last time I went.

To each their own anal tho.

[URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp39zD6_cLU[/URL]

[QUOTE=Nounce;2851219]I don't know all the detail but I know the basic principle about how these things work so I google to confirm. Both should not be a problem but don't take my words for it and you have to check the detail. The strange thing about the law is that it assumes everyone knows the details when in reality most people don't, myself included

That is why I brought up a lawyer in my original post because she knows the details. She enjoys luxurious things so she studied hard and works hard to get what she wants herself. She had a boyfriend from college for about 10 years. She broke up with him because she was tired of waiting for marriage. She is dating a medical surgent now. Her brother also has a girlfriend from school. The girlfriend is an engineer in a high paying large tech company, and makes more money then her brother who is in the same profession. With dual income like theirs, they can buy a million dollar house without much difficulty. It can turn into an investment that the house may be worth 2 millions by the time they divorce so dual incomes is a good idea and it's a must for most people who is afraid of financial lost. I am not saying it is easy as meeting the equal counterpart is not that easy, but one can't look for them in hooker or just random people. At my work, I can easily find man like me but zero woman that can match or close to my pay grade.[/QUOTE]I would concentrate more on the person's ability to invest / save / budget than how much they make because a person last year can make $20 K and then the very next year make a product (like the pet rock) and just skyrocket their bank account to 1 MM (that's 1 million for the non financial guys) a month with their product. Everyone's growth potential in the US is pretty much unlimited and untapped. But if they have a shit behavior on how they spend their money then that's never going to change. A person who makes 50 K USD and spends 35 K USD is going to be the same when they make 5 MM and spend 4 MM. I've seen in my experience, making more money to alot of people just means to them that they can spend more money or take higher loans because "it's only 6 K a month and I make 10 k" you can carve up a great situation for yourself but if the other person just doesn't know how to leverage, borrow, pay and save their money it's all down hill. A millionaire who makes 2 million but has 3 million dollars in stupid debt is not rich. They are in fact poorer than the homeless person on the street. It's all in the mentality, most generational wealth seems to fall apart after the 3rd since they are so detached from the struggles and smart moves of the 1st generation.

A great article I read on how some people making 5 million still feel poor.
https://nypost.com/2023/08/14/some-of-the-richest-people-in-america-feel-very-poor-survey/

[QUOTE=Bearsi;2851365]I would concentrate more on the person's ability to invest / save / budget than how much they make because a person last year can make $20 K and then the very next year make a product (like the pet rock) and just skyrocket their bank account to 1 MM (that's 1 million for the non financial guys) a month with their product. Everyone's growth potential in the US is pretty much unlimited and untapped. But if they have a shit behavior on how they spend their money then that's never going to change. A person who makes 50 K USD and spends 35 K USD is going to be the same when they make 5 MM and spend 4 MM. I've seen in my experience, making more money to alot of people just means to them that they can spend more money or take higher loans because "it's only 6 K a month and I make 10 k" you can carve up a great situation for yourself but if the other person just doesn't know how to leverage, borrow, pay and save their money it's all down hill. A millionaire who makes 2 million but has 3 million dollars in stupid debt is not rich. They are in fact poorer than the homeless person on the street. It's all in the mentality, most generational wealth seems to fall apart after the 3rd since they are so detached from the struggles and smart moves of the 1st generation.

a great article i read on how some people making 5 million still feel poor.
https://nypost.com/2023/08/14/some-of-the-richest-people-in-america-feel-very-poor-survey/[/QUOTE]Bearsi you're a smart man. You know as well as I do that it isn't only that money is the root of all evil. Drill down just a little bit farther and one must realize it's really debt that's the evil. One needs to know how to save and invest while smartly controlling spending and managing debt. That's how one can really get ahead financially. As a monger my mantra has always been from the very beginning to make sure that my bills are paid and my investments made before I get laid! That will allow for a comfortable retirement where I can continue to get laid and do all of the other things that I would like to do as well.

[QUOTE=Bearsi;2850344]

The one thing I would ask is how much debt she has. Some people are shocked to find out their spouse has hundred of thousands of dollars in debt and now it's both your debt. I understand a business loan or maybe a student loan with a good working degree but maxed out credit cards and / or payday loans and BS like that I would turn away from. [b]If they happen to die, that student loan debt is like a cancer and attaches to the next of kin and now I'm stuck.[/b] I've worked too hard and good to keep a good record and no debt to let that happen.
[URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=931lB6EhexA&ab_channel=CalebHammer[/URL][/QUOTE]While I totally agree in general on your thoughts about debts and their toxic consequences, let's not jump to crazy conclusions. In the USA debt is generally not inherited. Unless you cosign someone else's debt, then the creditors might go after you. Otherwise, the debt will normally be discharged with a death certificate.

Full disclosure: Am I a lawyer? No.

[QUOTE=Bearsi;2851365]I would concentrate more on the person's ability to invest / save / budget than how much they make ...[/QUOTE]I think in the context of divorce. The income will be more important than how much she spends or saves. As long as she does not go into debt, the higher income she has, the less burden you will have and less likely she will go after you and you probably can go after her.

This is how you can walk away quickly like you mentioned in your original post. Issues related to law can't be delayed. When you are equal, you have more time to work it out. When you are not equal, you have to shut it down as soon as you can because time is another factor during divorce. You hear men talking about not getting divorce due to kids. But when you look at the age of the kids and maybe the non-working spouse, you know the man don't really feel he can afford to get a divorce because he has been married too long.

If you are sure she is the one, than you can take more risk to marry someone who makes 1/3 of your income, and what you said makes perfect sense but that is not how the law works when it comes to divorce.

[QUOTE=TheCane;2851370]Bearsi you're a smart man. You know as well as I do that it isn't only that money is the root of all evil. Drill down just a little bit farther and one must realize it's really debt that's the evil. One needs to know how to save and invest while smartly controlling spending and managing debt. That's how one can really get ahead financially. As a monger my mantra has always been from the very beginning to make sure that my bills are paid and my investments made before I get laid! That will allow for a comfortable retirement where I can continue to get laid and do all of the other things that I would like to do as well.[/QUOTE]Yes.

America is a consumer **** that can't help but medicate itself with goods and drowns itself in debt.

It is really shocking how alot of people don't know what APR or a variable APR is. They sign whatever they need to, to get their high on the next big thing.

"my bills are paid and my investments made before I get laid!

-The Cane.

Now this is a quote worthy of bartlett's.

Words I live by as well.

[QUOTE=Nounce;2851400]I think in the context of divorce. The income will be more important than how much she spends or saves. As long as she does not go into debt, the higher income she has, the less burden you will have and less likely she will go after you and you probably can go after her.

This is how you can walk away quickly like you mentioned in your original post. Issues related to law can't be delayed. When you are equal, you have more time to work it out. When you are not equal, you have to shut it down as soon as you can because time is another factor during divorce. You hear men talking about not getting divorce due to kids. But when you look at the age of the kids and maybe the non-working spouse, you know the man don't really feel he can afford to get a divorce because he has been married too long.

If you are sure she is the one, than you can take more risk to marry someone who makes 1/3 of your income, and what you said makes perfect sense but that is not how the law works when it comes to divorce.[/QUOTE]All men should live by this rule when it comes to women:

[URL]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rGPWW9Pjzto&pp=ygUjSGVhdCBtb21lbnQncyBub3RpY2Ugcm9iZXJ0IGRlIG5pcm8%3D[/URL]

[QUOTE=Bearsi;2851360]Every man's got a choice to make. If I'm hungry is new pussy going to feed me? NEW PUSSY CAN'T COOK! There's no wrong or right answer either way but I'm definitely not going to be that 80 year old man in scandallo that was coughing up a lung or two last time I went.[URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp39zD6_cLU[/URL][/QUOTE]LOL. If I am correct, he said that right before saying fuck this commitment shit, I can order Uber eats; then giving his wife half his shit to kick rocks. Pay special attention to how long he said life is when you make a wrong decision! Come over here to Thailand and see how happy the 80 year old men in the club are. Don't surrender man, don't surrender!

My dad is 73 years old. He said that he loves his kids, but if he had experienced all the places we have traveled to monger in beforehand, then he would have never gotten married. Now a Murphy for the checkmate!

[URL]https://youtu.be/wRXq8TKq-a8?si=WUxn9t9DVclbDrUW[/URL]

[QUOTE=TjBrazil;2850315]Patrice o Neal sums up in this clip why it's so hard to quit mongering when you're older:

[URL]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yUYYX13uB4E&pp=ygUSUGF0cmljZSBvIG5lYWwgc2V4[/URL][/QUOTE]I didn't even feel like fucking. I was content just using my scumbag zoom.

[QUOTE=Xpartan;2851399]While I totally agree in general on your thoughts about debts and their toxic consequences, let's not jump to crazy conclusions. In the USA debt is generally not inherited. Unless you cosign someone else's debt, then the creditors might go after you. Otherwise, the debt will normally be discharged with a death certificate.

Full disclosure: Am I a lawyer? No.[/QUOTE]"Federal student loans qualify for student loan discharge when the borrower dies.

There's just one catch to discharging federal student loan debt. The IRS may treat the cancelled debt may as income, leading to a tax liability. The federal government may send a 1099-see to the borrower's estate or to the borrower of a Federal Parent PLUS loan. The tax liability is less than the cancelled debt, but it may still be a non-trivial sum.

There is no law requiring lenders to cancel private student loans upon the death of the borrower.

Half of private student loan programs do not offer death discharges. If the borrower dies, the lender will charge the debt against the borrower's estate. The cosigner may become responsible for repaying the remaining debt after the estate is settled.

If you die, your widowed spouse could be left responsible for paying off your student debt, depending on your state of legal residence and whether you borrowed the education loan after you got married.

In the nine community property states – Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin – a surviving spouse may be held liable for repaying a private student loan following the death of a deceased spouse, even if they didn't cosign the loans, but only if they took out the loan after they were married. ".

Bearsi, I personally won't even consider someone still carry a student loan at your age. I don't know anyone after working a few years still owe student loan. If the student qualification is good, he or she can easily have a choice of the school he or she wants to go to with at least 50% scholarship. It the student does not choose to study a degree that can make money to pay off the loan, that decision making is questionable.

The female lawyer in my post. She went to a private college that gave her scholarship. While studying at school, she was making 6 K+ a month during summer internship. She won't own too much if she owed anything at all. Her brother is the same, but he chose to study a useless major. Then he saw his girlfriend and other people who studying computer science getting good job offers so he decided to take out a student loan to get a master degree in CS. He got a job offer one year before graduation. He did so because he knew he can pay off the loan easily by then. The irony is that he initially entered a prestige university to study CS to begin with but he switched major. I was also debt free when I graduated.

I know my regular family and friend circle is not the norm but you certainly can aim higher to avoid some financial issues