General Information

To: Red Kilt

Yes, it is true. I am divorced from my Filipina wife and going back for another one may end up the same way. However it was 6 years of waking up with a beautiful lady who loved me more than I loved her. I just got to a point where beauty was not enough. That is why I don't miss her so much as I miss.

Having a new companion. So when I meet a new filipina, I will make sure that I feel more for her than just lust and I will be with her for awhile before we get.

Married. If it "ONLY" lasts for another 6 years, that is okay, because I will still take care of her and her family, but I will move on.

I agree with most of the advice you have been given here. I have lived with a Filipina here in the UK in an on and off relationship for the last 5 years. She is here legally and now has UK residence. By the standards of most Filipinas she is reasonably educated, finished high school and attended college here in the UK.
However she has absolutely no comprehension of history, politics or geography. She cannot hold an intelligent conversation unless it involves pop music, her friends or family or the latest celebrity gossip. She had no idea what the second world war was or even how the conflict at that time, impacted on her own country. That was an interesting chat that took a whole evening of my time!
Everytime I come home I have to listen to the music channel constantly and she will spend hours in isolation happily texting her friends, or watching filipino TV on her lap top. I can't come home from work and discuss problems with her, she just would not understand unless I bring everything down to a basic level for her.
Yes she is a great companion for affection and love, will take on the household chores with professional relish and they can also make great mothers. I survive because I have a network of friends around me that I can go to for intellectual stimulation and company, but if I had to rely solely on this with my GF then I would truly go mad.
I have no doubt my gf loves me, she is financially independent and does not need to be with me unless she chooses. However I feel that I often play second fiddle to her family and her friends in terms of importance, but I accept that as the Filipina way.
I guess what I am saying is that you need to recognise the potential negatives in such relationships and be ready to embrace them before the relationship that you seek has any chance. You said that you were in a relationship with a Filipina before so my guess is that you have experienced much of what I have already told you. Just make sure you understand that these traits are very common and not peculiar to your one specific failed relationship

That was some great advice, some of it I already had an idea about, but hearing it again from another mate of a Filipina reassures me that I am not the only one. This is why I am not going to marry a second Filipina, unless we

Live together for about a year and it works out well for both of us. Yes, both of us, because if she is not happy, then I have failed and I won't be happy.

I am not too worried about going to PI, because if a relationship doesn't work out, I can always do the Monger thing until I meet another GF. During those times, I will have to rename myself "Hug Monger", because I hate condoms.

[QUOTE=Mortman]I agree with most of the advice you have been given here. I have lived with a Filipina here in the UK in an on and off relationship for the last 5 years. She is here legally and now has UK residence. By the standards of most Filipinas she is reasonably educated, finished high school and attended college here in the UK.
However she has absolutely no comprehension of history, politics or geography. She cannot hold an intelligent conversation unless it involves pop music, her friends or family or the latest celebrity gossip. She had no idea what the second world war was or even how the conflict at that time, impacted on her own country. That was an interesting chat that took a whole evening of my time!
Everytime I come home I have to listen to the music channel constantly and she will spend hours in isolation happily texting her friends, or watching filipino TV on her lap top. I can't come home from work and discuss problems with her, she just would not understand unless I bring everything down to a basic level for her.
Yes she is a great companion for affection and love, will take on the household chores with professional relish and they can also make great mothers. I survive because I have a network of friends around me that I can go to for intellectual stimulation and company, but if I had to rely solely on this with my GF then I would truly go mad.
I have no doubt my gf loves me, she is financially independent and does not need to be with me unless she chooses. However I feel that I often play second fiddle to her family and her friends in terms of importance, but I accept that as the Filipina way.
I guess what I am saying is that you need to recognise the potential negatives in such relationships and be ready to embrace them before the relationship that you seek has any chance. You said that you were in a relationship with a Filipina before so my guess is that you have experienced much of what I have already told you. Just make sure you understand that these traits are very common and not peculiar to your one specific failed relationship[/QUOTE]

Your words could be used to describe the same situation with Lao, Thai, Vietnamese etc in the same way. However, I am told is that the Filipina long term relationship is more likely to be respectful of your needs as a husband/bfriend. I can't help noticing that people I have met and got to know generally had a better chance with a Filipina relationship. Unlike Thais, they don't have the funny racial attitude to foreigners, don't shut off the sex and switch on the gambling once they hit a long term relationship. You don't get the sudden summons from the family as you do with the Vietnamese, nor the "what's mine is mine, what is yours is everyone's."

If you get a good one, and only time will tell you about that, don't ever expect an intellectual conversation. I have met so-called highly educated people in SE Asia who know nothing about the countries nearby them, have no sense of history (except when they have some ideological version rammed down their throats, as is the case in Vietnam) and have no idea of the way of life in Western countries. It is rare to find someone who reads anything other than newspapers and magazines.

In support of Mortman, take the advice of an old-timer I knew (now deceased) who told me that to survive in SE Asia and countries like them, you need to cultivate friends, mainly expats, who have similar interests to your own. If you want, take a local wife and, of all the Asians, the Filipinas make the best wives and they speak better English. But wife stays at home when you meet your expat buddies unless they are accompanied by their wives - then the wives can all chat and gossip together in the kitchen.

Yes, some people will think that I am being racist. Far from it. I have met SE Asians who grew up in Western countries and many of them are well capable to holding an interesting conversation. So, it is not the fact that they have a particular genetic makeup that gives rise to their lack of knowledge and curiosity about the world. And yes, there are a few, very few, living in SE Asia who do get curious about the world. But most of them end up studying abroad and then continue to live abroad. So you are unlikely to find a local in SE Asia who has the knowledge or understanding you seek. Mind you, I have met a small number in the past 20 years in Asia - and their problem is that they don't fit in and are therefore often unhappy and messed up in the head. I tried a relationship with one of them and it ended very badly.

I attended the grand opening of the newest bar in Cebu -- one of the ErikRed group. If my alcohol addled mind recalls correctly, it is Mango Sweet lips. It is down the side street between Yellow Cab Pizza and Vienna Cafe.

I put on my favorite plaid bell bottoms and got their early 8pm. At first it was dead, but shortly afterwards a lot of familiar faces rolled in as the dancers from the other clubs arrived. By 8:30 the bakla show was on and some of it got me laughing -- something I try hard never to do.

After the show there was a free buffet. The food wasn't nearly as good as the anniversary spread at Liza's Sea Fun Pub back at their anniversary. Oh, and the drinks were free until 10pm.

The place was filling up nicely and I had to fight viciously to keep one of those red sofas free for special guests WR and his rather appealing companion. They arrived. WR's companion didn't talk much but she did in fact confirm that the the man is truely wicked.

After 10pm the drinks remained cheap with ladies drinks only 100. I bought as many as I could trying to build up good will. By previous night's Viking bf was one of the dancers and she introduced me to her older sis. The two of them were very cute and petite. I think one was 39 kilos and the other 38. Well, WR and I were both inquiring about the possiblilty arranging something really fun and included both sisters in either his bed or mine. In the end I barfined the 2nd sister so I got both of them in the same bed, but unfortunately not on the same night.

To sum up there is a new ErikRed bar. It is much smaller than Viking, but you will recognize the same red sofa layout. You'd think the guy would change colors at least once.

X

[QUOTE=Red Kilt]I note that you described your previous wife as a "pretty filipina" from whom you are now divorced.
I also note that you are "going to PI to find a wife". Sort of like "going to the mall to buy a pair of trousers".
Have you properly analysed WHY you are now divorced and reflected deeply on the possibility (and likelihood) that going into the same pond again without a very clear plan of exactly WHAT you want may just end up as a re-run of your previous experiences. If you have and you still plan to come to the Phils than that's cool but filipinas in the Philippines tend to be much more "provincial" than filipinas who live abroad (I don't necessarily mean OFWs).

Some of the girls that I know very well here are wonderful to hug while taking a nap, great for sex and generally terrific fun BUT only for part of each day.
When I think long and hard about the prospect of spending all day every day with any one of them I realise that I would go crazy with the generally very shallow thinking that each one has. Most have only a vague knowledge of anything except show business gossip and virtually no idea at all about geography or history even within their own country. Having Wowowee on TV 6 days each week would either drive me out of the house or force me to get another TV for my study/office etc.
As I said before, most filipinas are great fun for 2 - 3 hours or even a weekend or 3 or 4 days in Boracay BUT you have to try to imagine how you would be if you had them around for much longer periods than that. When you do that deeper analysis, your criteria expand way way beyond whether she is pretty, sexy, tall, no stretch marks etc and you start truly thinking about what is in her head. Can we chat about stuff? Will the whole of the rest of my life be spent teaching her about many things that we consider trivial.
I am not putting down the whole species of filipinas. There are special ones around who make wonderful companions but they are not necessarily the best-looking ones and they are often the shy ones who you will never meet in malls or anywhere else. You must do as Good Enough says in an earlier post - find ways to have women introduced to you or maybe use DIA or some other internet avenue.[/QUOTE]
You have to understand the girls who are willing to meet you, stay with you, fuck your brains out are generally not educated. Some might have taken a college course but not well versed with general knowledge about the world.
Many girls here in USA in spite of being educated cannot hold a intelligent conversation or hardly know anything aout the world or current events. They hardly ever listen to the news or watch CNN.
If somebody wants to marry a Philippina , he is looking for friendly, homely girl who will be a good mother to the childeren. Not to talk about world events.
I have dated lots of girls here and very few make a good conversation material. That is why we take them to a movie( no talking), dancing( too loud to talk), have sex ( moaning only) and sleep (practically dead to talk).
A good percentage of men get bored if they stayed with one woman constantly. Many stay married for the sake of children.
In defence of philippinas, they will definitely make good wives and mothers. They grew up family oriented and will never ecome independant of the family.

Sammon, RK and Simian: you guys make some excellent points here about the motivation to marry (Filipinas) and the very real fact that no one woman, regardless of ethnicity, could ever meet all of your needs (sexual + intellectual + familial + (fill-in-the-blank). For me, the fill-in-the blank is musical. If she's not inclined to sing or play an instrument she'll have to be enamored (or pretend to be enamored) by my own guitar playing and singing :).

I want to find a college-educated RN one-third my age (I'm 54 and in reasonably good shape). She's got to have a pretty face, slim waist and giant boobs. If she doesn't have the boobs, off we go to Cebu to bolt them on. If she doesn't have the education, off she goes to Silliman U to study her pretty little ass off (between taking care of yours truly). If she gets pregnant and we have one or two little ones well that's ok. At least in the PI one can afford day care!

That's my plan, guys.

In terms of infidelity, it's difficult for me to imagine never banging some strange once in awhile. I guess some Pinays are ok with it as long as you are discreet. Others want to castrate you so I've heard. Guess I'll cross that bridge if I ever get to it.

Meanwhile, you guys are spot on about the importance of your buddies. I have never met any woman in my entire life that can keep my interest, aside from the sex, and can carry on a decent conversation about sports or rock music or worldly beers. So, I look forward to making some real good friends, expats, in Dumaguete City and Cebu to watch American football, drink San Miguel and play rock music. And my cute little spinner with the big boobs will take care of the rest! Cheers, mates! :0

[QUOTE=Sammon]You have to understand the girls who are willing to meet you, stay with you, fuck your brains out are generally not educated. Some might have taken a college course but not well versed with general knowledge about the world.

Many girls here in USA in spite of being educated cannot hold a intelligent conversation or hardly know anything aout the world or current events. They hardly ever listen to the news or watch CNN.

If somebody wants to marry a Philippina , he is looking for friendly, homely girl who will be a good mother to the childeren. Not to talk about world events.

I have dated lots of girls here and very few make a good conversation material. That is why we take them to a movie( no talking), dancing( too loud to talk), have sex ( moaning only) and sleep (practically dead to talk).

A good percentage of men get bored if they stayed with one woman constantly. Many stay married for the sake of children.

In defence of philippinas, they will definitely make good wives and mothers. They grew up family oriented and will never ecome independant of the family.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=D Cups]Sammon, RK and Simian: you guys make some excellent points here about the motivation to marry (Filipinas) and the very real fact that no one woman, regardless of ethnicity, could ever meet all of your needs (sexual + intellectual + familial + (fill-in-the-blank). For me, the fill-in-the blank is musical. If she's not inclined to sing or play an instrument she'll have to be enamored (or pretend to be enamored) by my own guitar playing and singing :).

I want to find a college-educated RN one-third my age (I'm 54 and in reasonably good shape). She's got to have a pretty face, slim waist and giant boobs. If she doesn't have the boobs, off we go to Cebu to bolt them on. If she doesn't have the education, off she goes to Silliman U to study her pretty little ass off (between taking care of yours truly). If she gets pregnant and we have one or two little ones well that's ok. At least in the PI one can afford day care!

That's my plan, guys.

In terms of infidelity, it's difficult for me to imagine never banging some strange once in awhile. I guess some Pinays are ok with it as long as you are discreet. Others want to castrate you so I've heard. Guess I'll cross that bridge if I ever get to it.

Meanwhile, you guys are spot on about the importance of your buddies. I have never met any woman in my entire life that can keep my interest, aside from the sex, and can carry on a decent conversation about sports or rock music or worldly beers. So, I look forward to making some real good friends, expats, in Dumaguete City and Cebu to watch American football, drink San Miguel and play rock music. And my cute little spinner with the big boobs will take care of the rest! Cheers, mates! :0[/QUOTE]
I am sure you will be very happy living in Philippines. I cannot imagine living there long time without a live in girl whether married or not. All RN are trying to get out of Philippines to get a well paying job. I doubt whether they want to marry you and live in PHI.
Age is not a issue there. You will find young 18-25 year old to marry you. Slim Body, Pretty face, Giant boobs depends on the eye of the beholder.
There will be many girls willing to be your wife if you can take care of them. They would definitely want children of their own. But do not make children and run away.
Screwing other girls on the side will ok as long as you do not advertise the fact like in any country. I am sure you do not want many people telling your wife that you screw around. It will be bad for her reputation as well.
Sometimes you may find a girl who is ok with it.
Good Luck.

I agree with most of what's been said in the last several post regarding the limitations of deep thought and intellectual stimulation available from most filipinas or, for that matter, filipinos. As stated by others, this is not a function of ethnicity or genetics, but of education and culture. This is not a culture that values, for the most part, independent thought, intellectual curiosity. Anyone doubting that should spend some time at a local university or secondary school, where all learning is based on rote memorization. I've yet to meet a filipino who reads for pleasure, and I don't know many who routinely pick up copies of the Economist, or even Time magazine.

I've solved the lack-of-stimulation problem (as have many others) by cultivating a circle of expatriate friends who share my cultural context, interest, and educational background. For me, it's the only way to survive mentally intact while still enjoying the country. My partner seems to understand this character trait and doesn't seem to have any problems with it.

No matter how intelligent your companion may be--and there are lots of intelligent filipinas--her intellectual interests are not likely to be the same as ours, given that such interests stem from a lifetime of acculturation and years of Western education.

GE

[QUOTE=X Man]

I attended the grand opening of the newest bar in Cebu -- one of the ErikRed group. If my alcohol addled mind recalls correctly, it is Mango Sweet lips. It is down the side street between Yellow Cab Pizza and Vienna Cafe.

I put on my favorite plaid bell bottoms and got their early 8pm.

They arrived. WR's companion didn't talk much but she did in fact confirm that the the man is truely wicked.



X[/QUOTE]

X

Good to catch up, tou have drunk more than me of freebies :D the bar is RED LIPS or MANGO RED LIPs but the location is correct, ask the taxi man for Yellow Cab Pizza and you cant miss it as there are 2 signs - X's direction for me were spot on

Was quietly impressed with the gilrs, mainly slim and light weight (UltraPilot please note!). Miss A spent most her time talking to the older sister and told me was her first night, she was "shy" and unlike other sisters I have known carnally was not bisexual and definitely not with sister :(

Me wicked?...well depends on the definition but she does like me being wicked trust me...

Your other companions seemed very happy last night at Sunflower , both cute and sexy.

I have also been busy with 3 college girls...I knew 1 but she came with 2 others, one extremely cute and my shape and size so I spent most of the time with her while the others watched..lovely jubbly. Had to keep bsuy during school hours as I said. In fact the combined age of 3 naked Cebuanas in my bed the other night was a tad (only a tad) greater than my real age!!!! What a nice place Cebu is

Have a few more DIA 'dates' lined up including another with Miss AM (different one) a dancer at Tempations who found out why she prefers westerners to pinoys when she met me the other day :D One for D Cups as she has a lovely rack but slim body...will post a few pics when I get time especially for DC. Will also do of Miss A for DC (check PM)

She is a repeat as is 'S' the slim uni/college girl plus 'C;' her friend. The third 'T' was OK but a tad shy after seeing little roger. C has has westerners before and 'S' was her first but definitely not her last!!

Naturally I see Miss A each night for more BDSM and bondage lessons and hopefully later in the week for girl girl lessons with GL. She really is so sexy and horny especially in her minis and heels...but she also brought with her her extra school uniform so we can play big time :D..yummy, yummy

What with these lovely girls and 2 good mates from the Middle East/Singapore arriving (Flux Ice and Asian Flava) as well as a host of others in town, Cebu is a fun place to be :D

See you soon X....and GL and SpamHog...and UltraPilot....

PS I can vouch that I have never seen Xman in any check/plaid shorts or pants

[QUOTE=Monger F]Hi everyone,

I joined as I'm looking to relocate to the Philipenes in the next couple of years.

I notice there's quite a few here saying that basically, if you just walk around malls, you'll find yourself a girl who wouldn't mind been your girlfriend, so long as the money keeps flowing of course.

Now I'd prefer this type of arrangement over having a succession of girls every night (don't get me wrong the idea of that sounds good too, but would prefer to have a solid regular girl as well). My question is- is it really all that easy? I've never been that great at picking up non P4P girls in western countries- are 18-25 girls significantly easier to pick up in the PI compared to the 18-25 girls in the West?[/QUOTE]The difference is night and day. Its unbelieveable.

But you got to be careful and pay attention. And actually even if you don't have much money some girls really want a boyfriend and they make good girlfriends., it s not only about money for all of them. Just like its not only about sex for all of us?

But of course if you have both then why not.

I go USA now and don't even have girls my age look at me.

Here in Philippines I meet new girls all the time of all ages above 18 years that want to live with me and love me. (in many different ways) anyway feel free to inbox me and research here if you want more information my favorite place is Angeles.

Okay Okay Okay. [blue][Indecipherable Text deleted by Admin][/blue]. I don't know if it's just me, or are there some other people who feel the way that I do about filipinas? Now that I am a bit older, 50, I just want to go to PI and find a teddy bear. I have enough money to move there and have a pretty good life. I am not looking for a "Brainiac". I don't seek any kind of discussion about politics, geography, algebra, etc. I just want a cute lady who needs and loves me, as much as I need and love her. If she is kind and honest, like I am, we should have a very busy life doing charity work in PI, just like I have done here in WA for the past 12 years. I want to help her and her family, because. I CAN. And I will also be happy, because I won't get with a woman, unless I adore her.

Muide and Hug you can have what you want. I to want to love and help. You can find them 20. You will need to find that crowd to talk to and share experinces with. Old Western type people. Even old western raised Philippino's. It is possible. I like the part about trust. and honesty. But never let your gaurd to far down.

1. If thier lips are moving. That concept apply's all over the world.

2. You need to understand how they are with thier family. You can be bleed that way. And she just will not understand what is going on. She will give them all her shit. So, what is wrong with you giving them all yours.

3. It is a differnet culture. There is a book called Culture shock by two philippino's. It is great reading. If you intend to stay and live it should be # 1 on your list of things to do.

Now, Even though you guys say you want someone to be with steady. Ask yourself if you have ever been faithfull for more than 5 years. If, not? Well understand and figure out how that will work. Just because they say in the beginning that they understand. The pat answer the world over is I thought you would change? Plan from day one how to deal with that.

The world over men know what is meant by a woman scorned. And the only person who can decide she has been scorned is a woman. When yours decide she has been scorned. Watch out. Plan for this to happen. Like do not keep all your eggs in one basket. Maybe even know that there will always be several baskets. Because PI woman spend what they have. It is there culture. Read the book it is all explained.

I want the same thing you guys do. I was married to a PI girl. I read the book after my divorce. Wish I would of read it earlyier. Would of saved me alot of time trying to explain how to save money.

Hope I am not to negative. Because I do believe that there is all kinds of good advice on PI girls and human girls on the last few pages. I think alot of people have expressed true experinces.

It is possible. Just set boundrys. Listen and learn. It will make for a better experince.

Good luck

[QUOTE=Redman69]Muide and Hug you can have what you want. I to want to love and help. You can find them 20. You will need to find that crowd to talk to and share experinces with. Old Western type people. Even old western raised Philippino's. It is possible. I like the part about trust. and honesty. But never let your gaurd to far down.

1. If thier lips are moving. That concept apply's all over the world.

2. You need to understand how they are with thier family. You can be bleed that way. And she just will not understand what is going on. She will give them all her shit. So, what is wrong with you giving them all yours.

3. It is a differnet culture. There is a book called Culture shock by two philippino's. It is great reading. If you intend to stay and live it should be # 1 on your list of things to do.

Now, Even though you guys say you want someone to be with steady. Ask yourself if you have ever been faithfull for more than 5 years. If, not? Well understand and figure out how that will work. Just because they say in the beginning that they understand. The pat answer the world over is I thought you would change? Plan from day one how to deal with that.

The world over men know what is meant by a woman scorned. And the only person who can decide she has been scorned is a woman. When yours decide she has been scorned. Watch out. Plan for this to happen. Like do not keep all your eggs in one basket. Maybe even know that there will always be several baskets. Because PI woman spend what they have. It is there culture. Read the book it is all explained.

I want the same thing you guys do. I was married to a PI girl. I read the book after my divorce. Wish I would of read it earlyier. Would of saved me alot of time trying to explain how to save money.

Hope I am not to negative. Because I do believe that there is all kinds of good advice on PI girls and human girls on the last few pages. I think alot of people have expressed true experinces.

It is possible. Just set boundrys. Listen and learn. It will make for a better experince.

Good luck[/QUOTE]Redman69,

That was really nice , thanks and I will buy the book that you talked about.

Hugs

Buddy I hear what you are looking for, but Listen to Redman.

I have grave concerns for you. You say you don't want a braniac. Which makes me think you are not the kind of guy to read a book.

But you MUST. I know Pinays speak English and act Christian, and eat burgers but that is just a coat of paint. Underneath you need to consider they are Martians. I am exaggerating – to get your attention.

The book recommended was Culture Shock! Philippines Alfredo Roces, Grace Roces. Amazon or any bookstore can order it for you.

There are also lots of web sites to read. Not just the dating sites, which are all positive. Google words like Pinay Filipina culture scam disaster expat.

You can and will find a loving sweetheart, but it will not be a life as easy as you hope.

P culture has little concept of living beyond today. They can't plan and budget. And as has been said, give everything to their family. You will be seen as the lottery win for all the family. All the way to second cousins and friends of friends. And if you don't "lend " money at the drop of a hat, then you will suffer "Tampo" the worlds worst form of sulking.

Be careful. Or else all your funds won't go to charitable causes – just lazy family.

At least do this – Separate you funds into living costs and your real charity work. She can see one but not the other.

Again, you don't want a braniac, but if you get one with anything less than a college education she will be incapable of any form or budgeting, planning and certainly incapable of helping you in your charity work. (always there are exceptions but you get the idea). Better yet, find one who is doing charity work now. That's a good test:

I have some experience which I can't share here – but if you want to chat, pm me, we can exchange emails and numbers. Please take some of the advice being offered here.