Pattaya Reports

[QUOTE=GoodEnough]Let's see, the predominant western superstitions include a virgin getting pregnant with the son of god, the red sea parting at the waving of a stick, god speaking from a burning bush, someone rising from the dead, and so on. The Thais are no more superstitious than we are. They merely have different superstitions.[/QUOTE]
Speak for yourself... I'd bet a lot of us here in this forum at least (most of us maybe?) don't buy into those silly biblical superstitions you mentioned. That said, I did see a billboard once featuring a plate of spaghetti that looked eerily like the face of Jesus. I've also read that virgin birth is theoretically possible, though so unlikely that it may never have occurred in human history.

Seriously, I'd guess that if you tallied up the superstitions and degree of belief in them per capita, you'd probably end up with Thais being considerably more superstitious than 'us'. Think about all the westerners who claim to be agnostic/atheist. Vastly higher % than in Thailand.

Dear Friends,

I would like to present one question for you and I hope as many of you would be willing to answer honestly. This is mainly for the "non-asian" guys among us (European, American, Australian).

Let's assume for a minute that there was a luxury cruise boat, with go-go bars similar to the Angeles bars, with Philippino/Thai/Chinese girls giving the same kind of service as in Angeles/Pattaya/Dongguan. It could travel between European cities, or US cities, so no flight would be needed. This boat would pick-up guests and go on short trips (maybe 3-5 days), with an option to book trips back-to-back (if you like longer vacations).

My questions:

1. Would you guys be interested in using such service instead of actually going to those preferred mongering sites (PI/Thailand/China)?

2. Today, when you have your vacation in those sites, how much do you spend on flights, accommodations, and food, not calculating the spending on the ladies (LD, BF, Tips, Gifts, etc.)?

Your opinion and information would be highly appreciated.

UN LE70

[QUOTE=Kumbu]
Next day, and here I am sitting at the Wave restaurant, and this beautiful diva of a lady comes and sits in front of me. She is well appointed, wearing diva sunglasses, very well proportioned. I'm typing up my ISG report, but she is sitting right in front of me, distracting me. Here I am looking and wondering how to break the barrier and make my approach. She is obviously fishing, since she is alone, seems to be looking for a pick up. And then I am totally taken to school by this old timer. An older Italian guy just walks up to her and says "Excuse me, are you alone?" and she says "yes" and he says "May I join you?" And she looks at him, calculating her potential income. After a short pause, she agrees, and the Italian cruiser then says "Good-uh, because-uh I no like-uh to eat-uh alone-uh". And voila, or should I say, presto, the deal is set. The old guy has his A-game on, man he is smooth. He talks like a charmer, carries the conversation, knows just what to say, and is just a fucking charming little fucker. Man I hate him. I see now how I am totally in a different league - he is part of the major leagues, I'm like a triple A minor leaguer. .[/QUOTE]
Great report, I was amused through the entire thing!

[QUOTE=Un Le70]Dear Friends,

I would like to present one question for you and I hope as many of you would be willing to answer honestly. This is mainly for the "non-asian" guys among us (European, American, Australian).

Let's assume for a minute that there was a luxury cruise boat, with go-go bars similar to the Angeles bars, with Philippino/Thai/Chinese girls giving the same kind of service as in Angeles/Pattaya/Dongguan. It could travel between European cities, or US cities, so no flight would be needed. This boat would pick-up guests and go on short trips (maybe 3-5 days), with an option to book trips back-to-back (if you like longer vacations).

My questions:

1. Would you guys be interested in using such service instead of actually going to those preferred mongering sites (PI/Thailand/China)?

2. Today, when you have your vacation in those sites, how much do you spend on flights, accommodations, and food, not calculating the spending on the ladies (LD, BF, Tips, Gifts, etc.)?

Your opinion and information would be highly appreciated.

UN LE70[/QUOTE]

Oh, instead of a Love Boat this is going to be a Fuck Boat! As long as it doesn't cost me a arm and a leg sign me up! Oh take me off now I see the sign above " Non Asians only "

LBM

[QUOTE=Mackin]
Just so happens we made eye contact and she follows me into the bar. After buying a drink an offer was made. 700 short time and 300 for the room. Sounds like a deal to me. Up we go . This girl is pretty new according to her. 6 weeks and counting. Off come the clothes and a body with some nice tits and curves in the right spots. Yes things are looking up. [/QUOTE]

I've been reading the Patts thread quite a bit, but don't see any indication of the level of Thai language skills that are needed to get there from BKK and to monger there.

How much Thai does the typical Pattayan monger need to speak in order to have a good experiences like this at reasonable prices?

Thanks Kumbu for a very enjoyable post. While reading it, I thought I was there with you. And that Mina girl was awesome!

Keep'em coming those great reports!

Cheers.

Just say Pattaya and pay the taxi 1200 baht from BKK. Sawadee Ka will be all that is needed. They know what they are there for and will know enough english so you will understand. Otherwise just point. Enjoy yourself

[QUOTE=Mackin]Just say Pattaya and pay the taxi 1200 baht from BKK. Sawadee Ka will be all that is needed. They know what they are there for and will know enough english so you will understand. Otherwise just point. Enjoy yourself[/QUOTE]
Are you gay?

[QUOTE=Puta Playa]How much Thai does the typical Pattayan monger need to speak in order to have a good experiences like this at reasonable prices?[/QUOTE]

Absolutely none. Pattaya is more or less international territory when it comes to spending your dollars, euros, etc.

Smile, be nice and clean, and good experiences will be yours.

Far from gay. If you can't figure out what I said and meant ,why say anything. End of conversation

[QUOTE=Primo Bolan]Let me remind you of one important ISG rule:

" Please do not post any messages that harrass, insult, belittle, threaten or flame another member."
[/QUOTE]
Good advice from you - to yourself perhaps.

[QUOTE=Mackin] Sawadee Ka will be all that is needed. [/QUOTE]

It would if you had a pussy instead of a dick! Otherwise khap is the masculine form.

this is a report from two sundays ago - back when my gunners were still in the title race. i'm depressed just thinking about what has happened since, some of which is chronicled in this report here.

sunday morning was spent doing chores - email to work people that i had postponed all week, laundry, writing isg reports, and the like. by lunch time i was itching for some action.

i had tried to make reservations at several places in pattaya, but no luck. nova platinum told me they were all booked up, and a couple of other hotels never responded to my emails. so i decided to wing it. i've done this before - just arrive in pattaya and walk around looking for the best hotel.

i took the bts to ekkamai, bought two bus tickets and waited for the bus at platform 1. as i sat watching the people milling around, i was reminded of just what an interesting place thailand is. there were maybe half a dozen single males like myself skulking around half shamefully and half shamelessly. everyone knew what these people are up to - they are here to take advantage of thailand's youngest and prettiest. intermingled with them are families going down to pattaya for a genuine family vacation, as well as working people going down to service the tourists. and also strewn in there are the occasional working girl. but no one gives anyone any skunk-eye or nasty words - it's all very civil and polite.

so the bus left at 14:40, and i was off the bus on the other end at 16:45. got on a baht bus, which always takes so goddam long. but 20b for a ride into town ain't bad at all. i got off at the kfc and walked the 2 minutes to siam discovery, who were completely booked up. wow. so i walked across to fraser and took a deluxe room, which, as it turns out, is everything but deluxe. the initial quote was for 3200b, and i told them how ridiculous that was. it dropped to 3000, then to 2800, but that was as low as they would go. they threw in free internet (which really should be free anyway) and breakfast (which there was no way i would be awake for anyway). given my eagerness to get on with the festivities, i agreed. next time, however, i think i will not stay at fraser.

the room is small, very dark (not enough lights), shoddily constructed, and they cheap-out at every corner. e.g., they only give you one small bar of soap, so you need to constantly move it from the shower to the sink and back. also, the closet and bathroom doors (sliding doors) don't have any handles to grasp them. the bathroom door has a little hole that has been scraped out with a wood chisel which you can stick your finger into to get a grasp of it. that's just cheap, no two ways about it.

shit, shower, shave and off for dinner. afterwards, i have myself a grande americano at starbucks in preparation for the long night ahead.

i get down to walking street at around 8:45, and man city are already 1 goal up. it it not terribly crowded, but the night is early. the first place i go to is happy-a-gogo. i see two good looking girls, but they both seem to have attitude. one in particular, who had the best ass i have seen in a while, was just sour and cold. i realized that she was with some guy who was buying her drinks, so she was not trying to attract attention from anyone else, lest it cause a scene. so that was my cue, and i paid my 60b for the draught beer, and off i went.

next: roxy. there were maybe 25 girls here, two of which were quite interesting. i took note of their numbers, drank my singha, and left. 65b for the beer, i think.

it was 9:50 by now, almost time for the angelwitch show. so i went in, sat down and watched the pre-show girls dancing. they are the regular gogo girls, dancing for your pleasure, trying to get you to bf them. that lasted 15 minutes, and then on to the truly impressive show. half way through, i was accosted by a pretty little thing called pui, who was wondering why i had not looked at her during the pre-show dancing. i told her there were too many girls to look at just one, although she certainly does deserve lots of attention. anyway, to cut a long story short, she wanted me to bf her, and she wanted me to commit to it now. she asked me to bf her, and then i could go anywhere i wanted and come back and get her when i am ready. i politely refused, and she was a little peeved by that. paid for my beer, 150b i believe.

as i walked out, the arsenal-united game had just begun, and i spotted a gunner fan with his arshavin shirt on standing in candybar nervously watching the match. i joined him for a moment, pumping him up a little. he seemed very nervous, and i (foolishly) told him that we were going to stomp united into the pulpy color that fergie gets when he's angry. he giggled at this, but still seemed nervous. the game was 8 minutes old, and the score was 0-0.

next up, sea gogo. this place kind of sucks - the girls are not particularly hot, and the ambiance is ok. paid my 95b drink and left. as i walked, i saw a television. scoreline was now 0-1 to united. mmmmm, looks like the gunners are going to have to pull off a comeback win. no problem, they've done it before, they can do it again. and with the emirates crowd behind them...nothing is impossible.

next was naughty gogo. at this point, i needed to lay off the beer if i was to last through the night, so i switched to water. this always comes with the obligatory 'why you dink watttuh?' which really annoys me. what of it if i drink water? you're still charging me 95b for a 12b bottle of water, just be happy with the pound of flesh you are taking and be done with it. there were several girls here to my taste. also, i had been with a girl here six months ago several times, and while the girl had moved on, the staff remembered me. that was weird. but it made for some light-hearted banter, which was nice. paid my 100b and left, but thought i might return if nothing better turns up.

as i made my way to airport, i passed candyshop and saw the scoreline - 0-2. what??? and it wasn't 30 minutes into the game?!?! shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

into airport i went feeling a little despondent about my gunners. this place is always packed to the gilt, and i am not exactly sure why. the seating situation makes it very hard to get with a girl, and there are so many people, it just feels like a circus. the girls are not particularly hot (they're good, but not unusually so), so i just don't get it. i sat there uncomfortably between a big chinese guy and an old german dude. to be honest, they too seemed bored.

so i paid 100b for my nam pau and off i stumbled. next? where does the kumbu train stop next? well, before i could go anywhere, i needed to check on the great gunner come-back, so dropped into candyshop and found that same arsenal fan there, looking like a truck of elephants had parked on his nuts. i looked at the screen, and oh shit, it was 0-3. what...a...total...buzzkill. i consoled my inconsolable gunner, and moved on. i really needed to get laid.

decided to cross the street to shark a gogo. not worth talking about. ended up buying a girl a drink, but it was a total sympathy buy, and i am ashamed of myself for doing it, so let's just move on. i blame it on the depression from the demolition united put us through. after that, i realized the hour was now getting pretty late. it was 1am, and the crowds were thinning a little. the clubs would close pretty soon, and then all the girls would spill out into the clubs. i was getting pretty tired, and i didn't really want to extend the night into the hours of trolling for a dancing girl. so i needed to pick a girl and move on to the next stage.

went back to happy-a-gogo, but those two cuties i spied earlier in the evening were gone. nothing worth bfing left, so went back to roxy to try to find one of those two pretty things i saw earlier. but alas, they were both gone when i got there. had a great long chat with the mama san (who is quite young and attractive herself), but that was about it. ok, getting a little desperate now, which is not a good state to be in when gogo shopping. i went back to angelwitch looking for pui, but she was long gone. what was left was actually quite enticing, but there was something about the attitude i was getting which put me off. so i paid the rip-off 150b for a water and walked out.

finally, i ended up back in naughty gogo. the staff were again happy to see me, and they chatted and teased me for 15 minutes or so. i spied two good looking girls, one of whom was giving me the 'i'm beautiful, but i still want you' look. she was actually quite pretty - large, sultry eyes, pert little waist, slim but shapely legs,. long straight hair. the only issue i had was that her nipples were very intense. not sure how to describe them - they were not big, they were actually quite petite. but they were very, very...intense. sorry, that's the only word i can find. and against her light, pale skin, i didn't like that, for whatever reason. and what's more, her dancing was slow, bored, lethargic, and she looked really ready to call it quits. i feared that once i got her back to the room she would pull a 'oh me so sleepy' thing, and i was not in the mood to try to convince her to do what i was paying good money for her to do. but nonetheless, overall, she was easily an 8 or 9 in my book, so she was on stand-by. the other girl was quite the opposite to this girl. she was dancing frivolously, skipping from this side of the stage to that, twirling around, hair flying around, head cocking this side and that. and at every turn, she would turn to me and make eye contact. physically she was very different from the sultry one. this one was darker skinned, actually quite dark. she had small angled eyes, making for quite an exotic look. her teeth were prominent, and so she had a large, wide smile - very appealing. her hair was done in a light brown, which was different, and slightly permed. she was wearing a bikini, and so i couldn't tell about her nipples, but her breasts seemed sufficient. more importantly, her ass was very well built. not particularly bulgy or anything, but round, curvy, substantial, enough to get a full handful of meat and give it a good, full, satisfying squeeze. furthermore, her legs were also similarly well shaped. her ankles were a little thick for my taste, but i quibble. overall, her proportions were excellent - a great leg-to-upper body ratio.

the staff were busy plying me for drinks, and so i had to fend myself from this unwanted attention, and this served to delay my decision - which one do i pick. they were both giving me the eye, but in different ways - ms. sultry was looking very expectantly, almost insistently, impatiently even. and ms. dancy was giving me the occasional flirty glances, cute smiles, playful little head-cocks. i thought i knew who i was going for, but before i could make my decision, a really interesting thing happened.

a white guy walks in, well dressed, perhaps in his early 50s, and so still quite spry. he walks past me and sits to my right. the mama san jumps up and attends to him immediately - after all, he ticks all the right boxes: male, white, middle-aged, well-dressed, and arriving after 2am. she points to one girl and yanks her off stage (literally) and throws her at the guy (literally). the girl stumbled, paused to fix her hair, and then smiled at the gent. the gent looked her over, expressionless. he then turned his gaze stageward. the mama san saw this, screamed at the girl next to him to fuck off, and she pointed to the next girl, who happened to be ms. sultry. gentleman looks her over, again expressionless, and minimally nods his head. mama san screams at ms. sultry and yanks her off stage. ms. sultry, too good for this, pulls her hand back, and then daintily steps onto a stool, then down onto the floor. as she lands, she looks my way as if to say 'last chance...' i give her a blank look - my decision had already been made, but this gave me a very easy way to proceed. so she sits next to gentleman.

and this is where it gets interesting. she sits down, and gentleman immediately climbs ontop of her. i mean, he turned to her, moved right ontop of her, and his tongue came out like a moray eel flitting out of its hole, flicking this way and that. she instantly recoiled, just a little, and then her training kicked in and she froze, letting his tongue do whatever was required. there was not a single word exchanged between these two, and gentleman was already using his tongue on her.

truth be told, i was conflicted by the whole thing. one part of me was kind of grossed out by this display, and i realized i had an expression of utter disgust on my face. i looked around, and the staff and other girls were passively watching, as if nothing unusual was happening. but the poor girl was clearly uncomfortable, squirming slightly, leaning back as far as she could. but the large arms of gentleman were wrapped around her, leaving her in the death embrace for sure. it truly was an animal planet moment where the little mollusk is engulfed by the sea slug, powerless and pathetic.

but another part of me was in awe. this dude clearly knew exactly what he was doing. he was testing her out to see if she would recoil, and how much. this, presumably, was a gauge of how pliable she would be once back in the hotel room. a very interesting tactic - place her under the most serious of strain at a late hour and see if she rejects him or not. the girl was borderline, in my opinion, in that she was recoiling, but not rejecting.

i was fascinated...what will happen next? i wish i had some popcorn and a camera. so gentleman now lifts his head and whispers a few words (inaudible), to which ms. sultry nods and agrees, and he says a few more words, and she nods again, and then his head went straight between her breasts and the nuzzling began. oh. my. god.

the staff grew weary of this display, since it was slowing my decision down. so they started to make noise around me to try to bring my attention back to my own dick. but my decision had been made, of course - it was ms. dancy. i look for her, and to my delight, she is dancing not more than 4 feet from me. and she is fanning herself, indicating that she is very hot. how convenient, because i am seated right beneath a fan, so i point to the fan, and for her to join me. she jumps up onto the seat with a whimsical squeal. we got the pleasantries out of the way, and then i noticed her single most attractive feature: her hands. i saw her hands and i did a head-snap 'whatthe??' i gently took one hand in my own, and held it up to the light for a better view. these were...the...most...spectacular hands i have ever seen. i kid you not my friends, she had hands that just made my dick go zzzzzing! i have never had that experience before - legs, yes, bums, sure, breasts, why not? but hands? yawza, these hands are indescribable, but let me try. for those of you not interested, just skip the next paragraph.

the top side of her hands were dark skinned, like the color of fresh espresso (fresh, mind you, not even 60 seconds old). they glistened in the light, the glisten of youth i am sure. her palms were a lighter, tan color, perhaps the color of the crema on the espresso. but the color of her nails were a translucent whitish color. this created a stark contrast between the nails and the dark skin, which for whatever reason created the most lustful vision. and her nails were absolutely immaculately cared for. they were long, lustrous, natural, strong and well shaped. but the true grace of this sculpture were the fingers themselves. long, sexy, elegant fingers like you might imagine an enchantress in a forest might have. they were longer than her palms, and even her pinky was not the short stubby thing it is with most girls, but it was longer than my own index finger. damn. i looked at those hands and just began to cream myself.

so finally, mama san and i agreed to bf (500b, not bad). she said 1500st or 2000lt, and i told her i would negotiate that with the girl directly, to which mama san was most appreciative. i paid up, (bf plus my drink plus dancy's drink came to something like 725b - can't quite remember, i was a little buzzed from all the beer) and off she goes for the shower and change. meanwhile, i turn back to the really interesting story unfolding to my right with gentleman and ms. sultry. i look over, and his hands are on her ass, head still buried in her cleavage. wow, it must have been 10 minutes, and that's all he was doing. and the whole staff were ok with this. he really must bf her now, right? i mean, he couldn't now get up and say 'no thanks' and walk out...could he? i dunno, this gentleman is like no other mortal man i have known, so anything is possible.

one of the other girls does something that pisses off one of the the mama sans, who then screams 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhh!' in the loudest, most god-aweful shriek you can imagine. and instantly gentleman pops his head out of the cleavage and exactly mimics the mama san: 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhh!' i laugh hard and loud at this, and he looks over at me, and joins me in laughter. that was our moment together. if i had a glass of wine right now, i would toast you gentleman: here's to you sir, you and your gigantic gonads.

out pops my girl: dressed like a young teenager - frilly skirt, modern top with some large lettering on it, she looked pretty cool. she offers her hand and i gratefully take it, savoring the feeling of those long lustrous fingers wrapped around mine. we walk out into the still crowded walking street at 2:30am.

i was satisfied, as i had found a delightful piece of isaan chocolate to drown my gunner sorrows in.

we walk back to the hotel, talking as best we could (her english is no good, but we made do). she is such a sweet thing, i can't tell you. we get into the room and do some small talk for about 5 minutes. then she showers, and i do the same. afterwards, we talked for about 20 minutes, me trying to warm her up, she trying to relax. slowly the towel gets loosened from around her breasts, my hands slowly enter inside, caressing this, squeezing that. she reciprocates a little, but seems very shy. she is young - 23, from isaan (where else?), no boyfriend or children (good), and has been in pattaya an indeterminate amount of time (i couldn't pin this down with her bad english). but she clearly wasn't the pushy forthright kind - she did not take the initiative. this is probably a pain in the ass for most of you guys, so please be warned - she requires work. and you may not find the end product worth the work. on another night i might agree, but tonight i enjoyed it.

but i eventually managed to strip her naked and behold her beautiful, chocolaty body. she was quite a sight to behold. i explored every crevasse of hers, every mound, every dimple, every flaw and every landmark.

her breasts, it turns out, are a little larger than i expected - they're not huge at all, but at least a handful, which is good. and they were firm indeed. so i played a while with them, sucked a little, rubbed a lot, squeezed some. it was low-level pleasure, but great to begin with.

i found my way down to daty, which was clean and fresh. we did this for another 30 minutes or so, and then on comes the condom. sex in several positions, finishing in a standing position, with her hanging on to my neck, legs wrapped around my back, me humping her with my hands on her ass for grip. great stuff.

but then when i pulled out, i saw red. no, i wasn't angry, i literally saw red on my dick. wtf? she sees this and is not surprised, and rubs some of it off my dick and runs off to the shower. wait...what?

she never explained this, so i have to assume it was either just the end of her period, or...something else? and she let me do daty on her in that state? doesn't that seem a tad irresponsible to you? yeah, i reaffirmed my opposition to daty, although who am i kidding, i am sure i'll be back at it tomorrow.

anyway, we slept at around 5:30am, and i awoke at 10:30am to find her gazing at my face. yup, like a cute puppy. we kiss and cuddle a little, and then she says 'happy may?' (are you happy?), and i said 'mmmm, you?' and she says 'yes' and buries her head affectionately in my chest. lying there that morning, i felt a special warmth for her, which just about counteracted the hole in my chest from losing to united.

what a cute, special girl. i shall return to pattaya to play with her some more. watch for my next report in which i do return for her, as well as bagging the sweetest ass in all of pattaya.

[QUOTE=Un Le70]Dear Friends,

I would like to present one question for you and I hope as many of you would be willing to answer honestly. This is mainly for the "non-asian" guys among us (European, American, Australian)![/quote]Hi Uncle 70!

You don't like Asians. Or what? Any affiliations to KKK or such organisations

[quote=kumbu]

so i walked across to fraser and took a deluxe room, which, as it turns out, is everything but deluxe. the initial quote was for 3200b, and i told them how ridiculous that was. it dropped to 3000, then to 2800, but that was as low as they would go. they threw in free internet (which really should be free anyway) and breakfast (which there was no way i would be awake for anyway). given my eagerness to get on with the festivities, i agreed. next time, however, i think i will not stay at fraser.

the room is small, very dark (not enough lights), shoddily constructed, and they cheap-out at every corner. e.g., they only give you one small bar of soap, so you need to constantly move it from the shower to the sink and back. also, the closet and bathroom doors (sliding doors) don't have any handles to grasp them. the bathroom door has a little hole that has been scraped out with a wood chisel which you can stick your finger into to get a grasp of it. that's just cheap, no two ways about it.

[/quote]

the place is a total shit hole. i stayed there for one night and would never go back. i booked online at agoda, for about 65usd, it was not worth that, it was barely big enough for me to fit into and my room had a great view of the back alley. then they wanted a 1000baht as a deposit or some crap. then they wanted me to pay for the internet. the room was as kumbu wrote. i had forgoten how bad the place was until i read his report. i went out and found another room the next day. i had to fight to get my 1000 baht back, and then sit around while they sent some slow dude upstairs to check the mini bar. i would never stay there again.