Managua

[QUOTE=Noguera]Look. Here is the best that Señor Meat and I can do for you. Short of taking you by the hand and delivering you to the front of the *****house door. Whoa. I may have hit on something here. Ask Señor Meat to just take you to #14. You should be kind enough to offer to buy him a girl and the US$20 air conditioned room though!

Does this help. Or merely confuse you more. As Señor Meat so eloquently stated. Claudia’s is the *****house exactly one block north of Vale Todo. This is Nicaragua man. These are damn good directions for a country with no street names or numbers. Hell. The address for El Arbole didn’t use to even have a tree at that locale (you would appreciate this comment if you had formerly lived in Nicaragua)! [/QUOTE]You're too kind with such compliments Noguera. And I must admit that I'm even more confused on the location after such directions.

That's funny about "El Arbole" (a tree that doesn't exist.) That's better than "Can't see the forest because of the trees."

Side Note About MGA

MGA will never be invaded by a foreign power. This is because MGA has the worst road system and the worst numbering system in the universe.

There are very few road names. There are no house numbers. The address is expressed as a function of distance from a particular landmark. If the landmark moves, (like a bank) then you're screwed.

The address starts with the barrio. Very important. Also could start with a rotunda.

Example for Hotel El Conquistador, the address is

Hotel El Conquistador
Barrio Bolonia, BDF Beatriz, 1 Cuadro Abajo, 0 varas (could be a few varas)
Tel 011-505 222 4789 . Do not use their phone number on their website. I tried it and doesnt work from the USA.

The form is Neighborhood, LAndmark, So Many Blocks in a certain direction, Then so many varas. I think a vara is like a yard

As long as BDF does not move then the Hotel will still get its mail.
BDF is a Banco by the way.

Hotel El Conquistador, a Review
It is in Barrio Bolonia, one side of the barrio is a horrid and unsafe ghetto. The Hotel itself is in a quiet and safe part of the barrio. There is literally a guard on every street corner in the surround.

The price is right 57.50/nite plus impuesta. Free internet. The only caveat with the internet is you will use the worse keyboard known to man. All the punctuation is mislabelled. They serve an awesome free breakfast. The immediate surrounding neighborhood is safe a few blocks in a three of the directions. IT is conveniently located across from the Crown Plaza hotel and a very nice mall. The staff is supercool. I asked about the guest freindly policy. They were cold on the idea of me bringing back a chica. They said OK perhaps for a LITTLE BIT of time. but not all nite. I didnt test this policy.

My shower head was broken. No hot water. Most of the water shot out the side onto the floor. Light was busted. This is not a Holiday Inn express.

Street walkers do frequent this neighborhood, mostly on the main drag. Friday nite I was accosted by a street hooker who rubbed my crotch with one hand and tried to take out my wallet with the other hand. El Gran Pollo was right, never trust a street walker.

WINDOW SHOPPING - HOW TO FIND A SW AND NEVER LEAVE THE HOTEL
They hang out in a little plaza right next to the hotel. You can go in the internet room and look out window and get one. Very convenient. Slection is minimal, and not always one there.

Eats
The mall across the plaza has a food court. The same food as in the USA. You can also get a temporary cell phone in the mall for C325 and also make long distance calls to the USA unlimited time for 45 Cordobas. (third floor)

Some cute girls in the mall. Didnt get any eye contact returned. No vibe.

Eats - Recommended
El Grillito is one block up the street Outdoor cafe. Great eats. some local action, mostly Nicas Ricas.

Other Hotels
Hotel Naranja is off of Carretera Masaya, near the Chinese Embassy. This is a quaint little place, much classier and quainter than Hotel El Con. Price is 75. They speak english there. Very professional staff. Free internet. Very nice neighborhood, very upscale. Didnt stay there, but I know it would be nice. Actually it is quite romantic.

Hotel El Conquistador,
Barrio Bolonia, BDF Beatriz, 1 Cuadro Abajo
Tel 011-505 222 4789

[size=-2][b][u]EDITOR'S NOTE[/u]:[/b] [blue]I certainly hope that the author or somebody else will post a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please [url=http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php?]Click Here[/url] for more information.[/blue][/size]

[QUOTE=Water Boy]This place is EXTREMELY difficult to find

It is in Lezcano a bad barrio it seems to me and it is in a little side street where you could be killed and they will never find you. I hae been to some rough neighborhoods. This is not the worse but it doesnt look safe to me.

In Nica you would say to the taxista in spanish exactly this:

Barrio Monseñor Lezcano, Estatuo Lezcano, 1 cuadro al lago 1 cuadro abajo y media cuadro al lago

However, it is better to start from vale todo.

I like meat loafs directions better

With one exception

Do not get out of the taxi and walk any distance. Is meat loaf crazy?

Tell the taxista

"vale todo en monsenor lezcano. " media cuadrao abajo, un cuadro al lago, tercera casa es casa catorce 14. Better yet, stop in at vale todo and confirm directions. You will need all the help you can get.

It doesn't matter, even with the best directions your taxista will have to stop and ask every tom dick and harry. Note the 14 sign is not very visible to me from the taxi.

This is a non descript house on a non descript street.[/QUOTE]

Water Boy …… I really do not like to disagree with my fellow mates, but I must disagree with your above comments. Monseñor Lezcano is not a bad neighborhood in Managua. This area is their classic definition of “middle class”. I have several friends that live within 2-3 blocks of #14 and Vale Todo and I walk these streets at night all the time. And I am about as white of an Old Gringo as they come. Never even remotely had any problems walking around Monseñor Lezcano. Now if you want some tough neighborhoods in Managua … first, go hit club Polanco near the airport. Assuming you live to see another day, within 5 minutes of Polanco are the barrios of Villa Venezuela and Villa Libertad. Again, I have spent more time in Villa Venezuela than any other part of Managua and never had a problem. However, these two barrios are known for their gang problems and I wouldn’t recommend your hanging in these areas. But … Monseñor Lezcano and Vale Todo …… you will not have problems around there.

Regarding Claudia’s … YMMV. Attached is a sweet young thing I met/did there and she was an incredible lot of fun. I have had great experiences here.

Now I do agree with you regarding Cueto Club. It is a dump and the girls are not very good looking (chub-lettes). Not really a bad part of town though. Again, I have friends that only live 50 meters from Cueto Club and their place is very Nica-middle class. Cueto Club is no where near Vale Todo and is not in barrio Monseñor Lezcano. It is a good 20 minutes away by car.

[QUOTE=Noguera]Water Boy. I really do not like to disagree with my fellow mates, but I must disagree with your above comments. Monseñor Lezcano is not a bad neighborhood in Managua. This area is their classic definition of "middle class". I have several friends that live within 2-3 blocks of #14 and Vale Todo and I walk these streets at night all the time. And I am about as white of an Old Gringo as they come. Never even remotely had any problems walking around Monseñor Lezcano. Now if you want some tough neighborhoods in Managua. First, go hit club Polanco near the airport. Assuming you live to see another day, within 5 minutes of Polanco are the barrios of Villa Venezuela and Villa Libertad. Again, I have spent more time in Villa Venezuela than any other part of Managua and never had a problem. However, these two barrios are known for their gang problems and I wouldn’t recommend your hanging in these areas. But. Monseñor Lezcano and Vale Todo. You will not have problems around there.

Regarding Claudia’s. YMMV. Attached is a sweet young thing I met/did there and she was an incredible lot of fun. I have had great experiences here.

Now I do agree with you regarding Cueto Club. It is a dump and the girls are not very good looking (chub-lettes). Not really a bad part of town though. Again, I have friends that only live 50 meters from Cueto Club and their place is very Nica-middle class. Cueto Club is no where near Vale Todo and is not in barrio Monseñor Lezcano. It is a good 20 minutes away by car. [/QUOTE]Noguera,

I like that photo. She' my new screen saver.

Water Boy,

Get real! If you want ambiance stay in the USA. Don't travel America Latina with your same USA standards. That's not why we're in America Latina to compare our expectations, but to live like Kings! Besides, what do you expect when you're buying sex for $8. $11 per lay, Beverly Hills. Heidi Fleiss is back in business though.

It sounds like you may want to wait for "Grand Pollo" to get active again on the message board and tour you around the next time he returns from the USA to Nicaragua 'cause you're sounding a little timid.

In my opinion, Managua is super safe. I lived there for 8 months and never saw a street fight or even anything close. I hung out in nice and bad neighborhoods, but then again, I blend in with the populace.compared to Mexican violence, Managua is safe. The police don't do anything, but direct traffic.

I lived (San Luis Sur) 3 minutes away from Cuento Club, Salvadoreno #2, and Good Times and never had any problem walking the streets from 0000 to 2400. The neighborhood is as safe as your USA barrio. I paid a lot for rent there too.

I walked to Vale Todo from my old Linda Vista house as well with no problem. My Gringo neighbor who can't speak Spanish one lick walked those blocks as well.

True Noguera, Polanco is in an ugly neighborhood and I would be a little more prepared when walking those blocks, but never had a problem either.

I liked Cuento Club, but they charge too much.

Water Boy, aint nobody gonna' stick you up. After all, you're driving or taking a taxi to those locations, right. Furthermore, there's a universal unwritten code: If you want to really get yourself fucked-up with the police, courts, and jail time; rob a USA tourist, especially one that's white. Assuming you are white. Hell, if you did get robbed and told the police, they might take you to a safe cat house, buy you a piece, wait for you, and drive you back to your hotel. That's your USA tourist value.

Additionally, everyone in Managua knows that prostitution is big 'cause it's a job to earn money to eat!

Stop reading reports and start mongering. Then again, if you don't that's just more for me!

Water Boy,

Apologies are extended in advance if my last post seemed rude or aggressive.
That was not my intention.

Sincerely,

Meat Loaf

I have been in Polonco many times, and taken home numerous women. I personally have never had a problem in there. However, one time a fight between locals broke out, and the place cleared out, except for my buddies and me. Another time, somebody outside shot a gun into the place. They didn't hit anybody, but again, the place cleared out again, except for my buddies and me.

Riggo

[QUOTE=Riggo]I have been in Polonco many times, and taken home numerous women. I personally have never had a problem in there. However, one time a fight between locals broke out, and the place cleared out, except for my buddies and me. Another time, somebody outside shot a gun into the place. They didn't hit anybody, but again, the place cleared out again, except for my buddies and me.

Riggo[/QUOTE]I like the place up the street way better! That place up the street never has any customers, but a whole bunch of hungry hookers for anything they can get. It's a really nice place inside too. I wonder if it's a money laundry like Vale Todo 'cause nothing ever happens at either location, but the infrastructure is expensive.

I loved this thread! I have been to. I think. Every strip bar in managua. At elast 3/4 of the MP and have tasted the delights of the SW's on carr. Masaya, and in front of Plaza inte an yes. Yes. Have even picked up a SW near el estadio at 3 AM for a nearly toothless BBBJ! YEAH! Seriously I love Managua.comedores on every corner, fritangarias on many porches! And the chicas.

I personally have founf that Plaza de las Americas has some very nice single moms who are surprised when a gringo comes in. Politeness. Decent spanish, no shorts. Dress like a casual date. Dockers and a guayavera. Be wise. And you could end up with the beauty I live with now. Who, by the way lets me bring the girls home so we can play together. Q le vayan bien!

Coming to MGA November 15 and am looking for some backup. Plan on staying at the Almendro. Get back to me on this forum if you have any interest in a couple of drinks and some mongering.

[QUOTE=Meat Loaf]

In my opinion, Managua is super safe.

Stop reading reports and start mongering. Then again, if you don't that's just more for me![/QUOTE]Meat Loaf,

I ride with the Nicas and eat in hovels with dirt on the floor. I have been in some really nasty places where the rent is $30 per month. I talk a passable spanish. have talked to many Nicas. They nearly all say that MGA is a dangerous place. True, MGA IS safer than other LA cities. Still to the Nica, MGA is a very dangerous place.

There are safe barrios and bad barrios.

Dont be telling people that the entire city is safe. This is irresponsible on your part. Totally irresponsible.

And yes. If you read MY REPORT. I am mongering.

Thank you very much

Yes it may be true that the guide books say Barrio Lezcano is reasonbaly safe and Barrio dimitri is considered dangerous.

Thank you for letting me know about Barrio Lezcanao.

I feel safer in Club Fenix which is in Barrio dimitri than in Barrio Lezcano.
So yes, I have a weird perception.

In fact Balonia has some really dangerous parts yet Hotel El Con is located there. However El Con is located in a supersafe zone.

So really it depends on which particular part of the barrio you are in.

At home, I go to the worst parts of town to ppursue the hobby. In Nica, I am a stranger in a strange land. So I prefer supersafe places.

As for Good Times that place is a dump. . I was only in their for 3 seconds. Some big bellied Nica latched on to me. Not my cup of tea. Waaaay too downscale for me

I would suggest to everyone to avoid Good Times.

I heard tiny bit about Salvadoreno club. What up with Salvadoreno? Any good reviews?

As for Cueto Club, I was wrong about the barrio. Thank you for correcting me. It is not in Lezcano.

Also my driver said there is a new club near Cueto Club. It is pretty good. Anybody here of this? Is this bullcaca?

May try Claudias again tonite they had some cute girls. Maybe it was an off nite. Thank you guys for setting me straight with the barrio sitrep.

Am I going to the RIGHT Claudia's? A non descript house on a side street? Basically a private house. Is this the right Claudias?

[QUOTE=Water Boy]Meat Loaf,

I ride with the Nicas and eat in hovels with dirt on the floor. I have been in some really nasty places where the rent is $30 per month. I talk a passable spanish. have talked to many Nicas. They nearly all say that MGA is a dangerous place. True, MGA IS safer than other LA cities. Still to the Nica, MGA is a very dangerous place.

There are safe barrios and bad barrios.

Dont be telling people that the entire city is safe. This is irresponsible on your part. Totally irresponsible.

And yes. If you read MY REPORT. I am mongering.

Thank you very much[/QUOTE]You're correct "Water Boy." I should have read your report first before opening that can of whoop ass regarding you not mongering. Hence, I wrote the apology immediately upon reading your report.

Since I'm a young guy nobody every tries to challenge physically, my perception about safety maybe tainted.

$30 is too poor for me. Hell, I'm a professional that has a masters degree and speaks three languages. (Laughing as I type.) You're more authentic that I.

Keep up the hard work "Water Boy!"

[QUOTE=Water Boy]
As for Good Times that place is a dump. . I was only in their for 3 seconds. Some big bellied Nica latched on to me. Not my cup of tea. Waaaay too downscale for me

I would suggest to everyone to avoid Good Times.[/QUOTE]"Water Boy" this comment brings pain to my heart. It's not a dump. It's cool.

Ambiance-wise compared to "Club Fenix," ok. But "Good Time" is great. They are remodeling. They have some good ass.

The big bellied girl likes to eat.

I suggest you return to "Good Time" and drink 2 or 3 beers before your next post, please. In fact, I'm thinking of returning to MGA to party there for a few days.

[QUOTE=Water Boy]I heard tiny bit about Salvadoreno club. What up with Salvadoreno? Any good reviews?

As for Cueto Club, I was wrong about the barrio. Thank you for correcting me. It is not in Lezcano.

Also my driver said there is a new club near Cueto Club. It is pretty good. Anybody here of this? Is this bullcaca?

May try Claudias again tonite they had some cute girls. Maybe it was an off nite. Thank you guys for setting me straight with the barrio sitrep.

Am I going to the RIGHT Claudia's? A non descript house on a side street? Basically a private house. Is this the right Claudias?[/QUOTE]

I've been amazed at how you fellas' are writing so many reviews and questions about "Casa 14 / Claudias" when all it is is a house with some hookers. They sell beer, but have no music. There is no walking room. You buy ass and that's it. The girls don't solicit. I mean, I don't know what you guys have such a fascination with this place about. Read my "Managua Mongering Guide" for better places.

"Water Boy" if you claim "Good Time" is a dump than Salvadoreno #2 is 50- times worse. Salvadoreno #1 is a step-up. I had a fight with that punk-ass owner and her fat-ass son 'so I don't have anything positive to say about then assholes nor do I want to contribute money into their pockets. But I'm here to share information and so I do. I wouldn't fuck in those rooms 'though.

Cuento Club is in Barrio Eden.

As of 1-month ago there was no new club near Cuento Club unless Rahim re-opened. Club Azul isn't too far away.