Questions and "questions"
[QUOTE=TimTimms;2758871]Imagine how many people don't post because they are afraid of being told RTFF.[/QUOTE]I'm worried about just the opposite. Now if their post is an FR, an FR doesn't generate RTFF / UTFSE replies. It generates good will as it's a CONTRIBUTION. Likewise, if it's an answer to a question, answers don't generate RTFF / UTFSE replies. It's questions that have ALREADY been answered, especially in the previous (arbitrary number) 10 pages that generate such. Just imagine the page after page of: How do I find 19-21 year olds? How much to pay? Where should I go to see hot ladies?, etc, etc, etc. (The horror, the horror).
Now, if you've bothered to read the last 10 pages, you'll see that when an FR poster mistook Soi 7/1 for Soi Cowboy, several members corrected him (one even gave a specific example of how to get to Soi Cowboy). There was no RTFF / UTFSE replies.
Another asked where Thermae was, [B]BUT[/B] he also added some words to show that he'd tried to find the answer. He knew it was near the Ruamchitt Hotel. Didn't see any RTFF / UTFSE replies in the answer; the answer even included a picture of the entrance. So NOT ALL questions receive a RTFF / UTFSE.
Finally, if people are SO sensitive they can't withstand a breath of heat, a bit of criticism, then they should wait as it seems pointless to monger until they grow a pair. Oh, I just wish this thread was a happy place [S]...[/S].
Touchdown (and NOT American football)
[QUOTE=Llantarnam;2759410]I arrived in Thailand about a week ago.
I had access to fast track so was through to baggage claim in no time, but it looked like a very long line for the have not's.[/QUOTE]Arrived Suvarnabhumi airport on a fully packed A380,23:00 Saturday. Given I'm [I]back of the bus[/I], I'm one of the last people off. Then it's hiking through [I]Bring a Lunch[/I] Suvarnabhumi and, as posted earlier, even with the moving walkways, it's a long walk. (3 years ago, flying first class turned in all my miles, and due to construction, no golf cart to take me to departure gate, had to walk. Passed a sign that said my departure arm was [B]750 m[/B] away that's of a click). Pack a lunch.
Followed the signs toward immigration. Then, first branch visa on arrival split from the stream, their own path. Some standing counters with application forms on them. Need your own photo (at least one, maybe 2), but if you didn't have, there is a photo booth. I continued on towards immigration.
2nd split was fast track. I'm not one of those so continued on to the "original" immigration. 3 years ago, the switch-backed queue was full from front to back. Now, switchback queue empty. A younger person might have been able to duck walk straight through under the straps, but I just did the back and forth, back and forth, back and forth [S]...[/S] Small queue at the front QUICKLY dispatched to the various immigration stations. Each station had 3, no more than 4, people waiting. 2 people in front of me at my station. Unlike most every other arrival, this time I didn't have anyone in front of me who had [I]problems[/I], language, paperwork, whatever, so station queue processed quickly.
I had an e-visa, so when it was my turn, I handed the officer my passport, a hard-copy of my e-visa, and my boarding pass (for flight info). [B]He[/B] did all the paperwork; there are [B]NO[/B] landing cards or customs forms. (3 years ago, on my landing card, you had to enter in where you were staying. So I put the name of the place. Officer demanded I complete the next line, address. I didn't know, and besides, you know how long addresses are here: it's the main street, followed by the soi, then the sub-district, district, phase of the moon [S]...[/S] It became clear that I couldn't progress until that line was completed. So I used a hotel name and address that I'd used a decade before. Line completed, bureaucracy satisfied, go ahead). [B]Now[/B], the next step is biometric data: right 4 fingers, left 4 fingers, 2 thumbs, remove mask for face photo, and you're in.
Then to baggage claim. As I remember, getting off the plane, there was an electronic sign with the baggage carousal number displayed. Anyway, I'm not psychic but I did know the number so saw it somewhere, maybe at the start of the jetway. Of course, on going downstairs, I was at carousal 6, mine was 23. Bring a snack. Bags coming off quickly, but mine was one of the last, even with its priority tag (late arrival of incoming flight at transit airport; luckily, they held the Bangkok flight for 30 minutes). Got my bags, and then the biggest struggle. Unlike Incheon, Korea, where the free airport WI-fi was a simple click on the network and join, in Thailand, not so easy, at least for me. Selected the network, then a webpage with a number of fields to complete (name, e-mail; so that's how they pay for "free", e-mail harvesting; use your nuisance e-mail address), then a number of check boxes [S]...[/S] Somewhere along the way, I lost my place and had to start again, several times. It was so not-easy, I was wondering if it was a scam to collect data. I was just about to give up when I realized I had a connection. Quick Line message to access transportation to say I was cleared. Had my passport displayed in my hand as I passed through customs; the 3 YOUNG agents in the green line seemed to be scanning but not stopping the passing stream. I didn't even break stride.
Then outside where I was hit with a blast of hot (OK, this is Thailand) and HUMID (didn't remember it being this humid at 00:10). Had to walk down from gate 8 to gate 3 for the arranged pick-up. On the way, passed the limousine "pool" with their drivers. You may snicker, but my "My pie, kap" had its usual success for the driver who was offering me a ride. In fact, all the other drivers laughed. BUT, I was left alone to continue my journey so that's a win in my book.
So, perhaps another reason to have the e-visa rather than the visa on arrival. From touchdown to waiting for ride was just over an hour, and that included the exit from the plane (LOT of people on a 380), and the hikes through the airport. The bureaucracy was quick, and I was just happy my bags had made the connection. YMMV.
Crank 'em up, Crank 'em up, Crank 'em up, you ain't got 'em crunked yet?
If you're expecting a "Just the facts, Mam", Sgt Joe Friday style (MATURE Americans will understand the reference), a wham-bam-thank-you-mam FR, it won't be here. My style is a rambling, meandering route to the destination.
Day 1.
OK, first things first. Boots now firmly on the ground after 5.5 hours of sleep. First stop [S]...[/S] wait for it [S]... ...[/S] wait for it [S]...[/S] the DENTIST (Yes, I can hear the snickers, but just wait [S]...[/S] or don't get old). Have some extremely nice modern ones here, and it's a BIG thing because I hate going to the dentist (think Marathon Man. That was a HORROR movie for me). Like car repair, damage assessed, estimate given, plan agreed to. Done there for THIS day, so next stop [S]...[/S] is an ATM. It is P4[B]P[/B] after all. Cash in hand, next stop is [S]...[/S] the (I say sky train, you say BTS, I'm old school). Problem with adding to my Rabbit card. It's expired (not really a surprise). It's 100 baht for the new card, but the clerk uses most of the remaining balance from the old card. Then, bless his heart, he transfers the remaining all of 33 baht to the new card, having difficulties along the way, but he soldiers on. I feel sorry for him, it's only 33 baht, and I really feel sorry for the people in the queue behind me. Add 1000 baht to the card; the convenience is just too great. Now, down to Asoke. Start walking Sukhumvit, odd side, towards the lower soi's. On to [S]...[/S] a pharmacy (SouthEast pharmacy) on Sukhumvit between Soi 15-13, just a couple of shops down from Soi 15. Been shopping there for decades for all pharmaceuticals; now I need some yellow pills. Any pharmaceuticals I put in my body will come from a pharmacy, not street. More expensive, but, that way, if I explode, my next-of-kin can sue. Then [S]...[/S]Foodland, Soi 5, curious if they still carry a Bangkok Post newspaper (obviously dating myself). Seems they don't. Foodland has quality fresh food, meat, seafood, shellfish, plus other fixings, along with western food and, for me, western snacks and drinks. Have to stock the frig, but that will wait till later. Normally, I'd eat at the lunch counter, but I have places to go, things to do, so skip. Next stop in to the Beer Garden for old times sake, just for a look-see. There is one barmaid there that I've seen for a decade, cute, curious if she's survived the pandemic. I am FLOORED. 12:30, and the garden is empty, NO customers, 3 waitresses present. In years past, WHATEVER the hour, gents would be there for a drink or something to eat. Stunned; will have to go back later in the day and see what's what. At that early hour, with my stroll along Sukhumvit, any possible street walkers, well, I wouldn't do them with YOUR dick.
Then take the sky train back to Asoke (yes, lazy, but have to conserve my energy, and the humidity is killing me). Underground passage to cross Asoke, then walk through Soi Cowboy. At that hour obviously nothing going on. Want to check out Soi 23, just to see the outside [I]stock[/I] available. In the 2nd block, several shops open, girls sitting in front. Certainly a couple of possibles, but I just keep on walking, not paying any attention to the laminated price lists waved in front of me. In the 3rd block, couple more shops open and again, couple of potentials. And again, I just keep walking. Reach the intersection, about face, and return, verifying the potentials, but keep marching on.
Now, if you're thinking I'm stalling, you're correct. I've debated if I should message a special [I]friend[/I] or surprise her. I'm hoping she's at the shop, but, if not, that Rabbit card will take me anywhere. It's a LONG walk to her place. I walk in and am greeted with a BIG smile, a BIG and long hug, and a DFK (advantage of seeing a dentist, my mouth was antiseptically clean). I'm actually pushing her away, trying to disentangle myself. WTF? Let me put it this way, my shirt is SOAKING wet, and it hasn't rained today. I explain my reason, and she points in the direction of the shower. I take a shower (alone), though she does check to see if I'm ok. My legs might have been a bit wobbly, but had more to do with the anticipation of her than with the walk. Her massage appreciated; the real GFE more so. We shower together, and my legs are still wobbly, and it's not from the walk. She does ask me to message her before my next visit, which I take to mean she wants to be fresh and available. From her perspective, it's probably she wants to make sure there are no conflicts and possible she doesn't want to be seen with me. It is business after all.
REDACTED.
That water hole I keep for myself. I like it's [I]uncluttered[/I] nature, bad for the [I]water[/I], good for ME (yes, I am selfish). All I can say is, get off the beaten, well worn path and find your own. The walks will be healthy, and there is nothing like the thrill of discovery.
OK, MAJOR decision: do I take the scenic route (sky train) OR the more direct route (sky train + MRT) to Patpong during the late afternoon. You see there ARE traditions I keep. First shot is always at the SOL, but obviously I'm not a fanatic about it. And I want to do an equipment check, see how many shots are in the [I]magazine[/I] of the ole [I]rife[/I]. Sky train it is, checking out any changes in the skyline, with the transfer at Siam, and I remember correctly to go downstairs for the switch. Get off at Sala Dong (sp, isn't that room dick in Italian?) Walk along Silom. My reference landmarks are gone. No sign of the "been-there-forever" luggage shop on the corner of Silome and Patpong 2. Walk right past Patpong 1. A block or 2 down I realize I've made a mistake, get out google maps, and see my mistake.
Back to Patpong 1. Not that I have any business there, but, for OLD times sake, I want to check out the Rose bar. Certainly NOT going upstairs to the bar itself, but just to see if the door's open. Back in the mid-90's, the Rose was [I]fun[/I], but the decline has been [U]steep[/U]. On a previous visit, I actually saw two GHOSTS there. Well, the two MATURE, rail-thin caretakers, in floor length white shifts, looked like ghosts. The manager said I could take her, or, if I preferred, the bartender. I paid for my beer and a lady drink I didn't recall authorizing, and escaped. Though, looking back, kind of like that horror movie you walked out on because it was too frightening, sometimes I think what would I have seen if I had stayed [S]...[/S] Still, my eyeballs thank me.
I then proceed to the short alley, turn right, and head for [S]...[/S] wait for it [S]... ...[/S] Foodland. WTF? Well, 2 reasons. 1) I want to check to see if they have my favorite cookies and / or dried apple slices. 2) But the MAIN reason I'm there is to build up the ANTICIPATION [S]...[/S] Like a little kid who's waited for the major blockbuster movie, now he's in the cinema, sitting in his seat, and the lights are beginning to dim [S]...[/S] [B]THAT[/B] anticipation of the adventure about to begin [S]...[/S] . I prolong the anticipation by having a drink at the Foodland restaurant.
I exit Foodland, walk the few meters to the "elbow", turn right, and catch my first sight in 3 years of SOL. I've been curious as to if it's open, if there are any ladies sitting outside, and, if so, how many and in what [I]condition[/I]. SOME traditions must be kept, for this [I]mud hound[/I], first [I]shot[/I] is always a BJ at Patpong (well, NOW, not STRICKLY adhered to, still [S]...[/S] traditions are important).
To quote Casablanca, "I'm shocked, SHOCKED" by what I see. No table or chairs outside, certainly no ladies. And (the horror, the horror), there are 2 large pieces of plywood across the door. Now I'm not saying they were permanent, but gravity still exists there. I am sadly disappointed at the possible passing of an institution, but I keep going. You see, SOL is actually an alternate target. I walk a bit further, and with heart beating (hey, it's a long walk from Sala Dong to where I am now), up the stairs to [S]...[/S]The World. Will it be open, will there be some providers [S]...[/S] In previous years, it's always been SOL, but 3 years ago, [I]discovered[/I] The World, a bar so old, I've heard it was here during the Vietnam war. 3 years ago, less selection than SOL, but better ambiance.
Except I don't see it. I turn right, walk to the end, no World. Another institution dead? Say it ain't so, Joe. I slowly walk back, carefully checking each shop. Nope, not here. I look to the other end, and from my understanding, that's the [I]alternate[/I] life, nothing wrong with it, just NOT for me. But I am persistent, so I walk to that end. And lo and behold, there's the World, correctly "Meet the World".
Door's open, lights are on. It's 16:00. It's been 3 years so, before crossing that threshold (literally), I want to establish my bonafides, so I say, "Singha, still 100 baht?" Answer is "for you, special, yes. " I enter, take a seat at the bar. 4 ladies in uniform (2 younger, 1 middle, and 1 older), bartender, an additional female in [I]civvies[/I]. Beer served, I ask for a condom. WTF? In a BJ bar? Am I crazy? Hey, it's a condom for the [U]BEER[/U][S]...[/S].
I make small talk with the bartender. The 4 [I]moths[/I] have gathered around the [I]light[/I], massaging neck, shoulders, arms, but all [I]above board[/I]. Now I HAVE done my homework, making careful note of [B]Thomas9[/B]'s great FR. Time to collect some intel: How much for a lady drink? 150 baht. How many in the bar? 6 ladies (4 in uniform, bartender, grandma). Usual scene, lights dimmed, 60's-70's music tape started, curtain pulled fully closed. I use the RTFF info gleaned from reading [B]Thomas9[/B]'s FR to predict the future. More chit-chat with the bartender, still only upper body massage. Intel gathered, time to get things moving. So, to splurge, or is that to splooge, I make a great show of looking around, left and right, up and down [S]...[/S] I'm sure they're all thinking WTF? I say, "Where's the bell?" The ladies scream in delight. I get off the stool to go ring, but one of the moth's has beaten me to it, rung it herself. When I tell her thanks, since she's rung the bell, she's buying, the look of horror on her face is priceless. I ring the bell, more screams. I return to my stool. And [S]...[/S] [S]...[/S] nothing. Lady drinks are poured, passed around. Back with the massages. Hmmmm. This is UNEXPECTED. I might be old, but I'm NOT dead. I ask how much for a BJ (I know the answer). 1000. Hmmm, what happened to 800? OK, for you, 800. (Asking and accepted pricing). Now, it's like a scene from Das Boot. ALARM, ALARM [S]...[/S] The hatch is sealed (door locked), and the ladies jump into their battle gear which, for 2, is their birthday suits, and for 2 others, panties only (don't know why). One suggests we move to the couch (the benches do seem bigger than I remember from 3 years ago), and the bartender offers me a free beer. Appreciated.
We move to the couch / bench. Hands are busy undressing me, but you'd think that experienced ladies would know you don't remove the pants BEFORE the shoes, it just doesn't work when you don't. I explain the problem. Shoes off, shirt, pants, underwear off, and I'm now in MY battle gear. Swarmed by the [I]moths[/I], they're in a frenzy. Hands, mouths, boobs everywhere. Now it may seem foolish to be DFKing BJ bar ladies, but I'm of the "Damn the torpedoes, FULL speed ahead" mindset. Girls are doing a great assembly RL 1 [I]instruction[/I] (rotate left 1), each taking some time to display her oral skills, then shifting to work on my chest or mouth while another shifts down from chest to crotch. The 4th is accessing whatever she can reach, still in the rotation. Boobs groped, nipples flicked (theirs, not mine). With some finger wandering (mine) one seems to be getting quite wet, or maybe she's lubed up when my vision was [I]obscured[/I]. It's all great fun. Several times I say "shaw, shaw" (slowly, slowly) and my wish heeded. One works on my balls while another on Rupert, the one eyed trouser snake. Eventually Rupert spits, and the chosen one opens her mouth to show success, then runs off to the sink to spit (small tissues used to spit intermediate saliva, but seems the main course is still destined for sink only). The other girls continue with the upper body and face sucking. Finally, the [I]swarm[/I] breaks up, and everyone starts looking for their clothes. I move back to the bar stool, beer in hand, [I]moths[/I] follow. I get each of their names for future reference. I explain that the 4 on 1 scrum is a one-of, next time it'll be a single girl, and I know which one. I won't post names here. Just visit and pick the [I]poison[/I] of YOUR choice. Ask for damages. Bartender is busy on calculator, but I've already worked out in my head (thank you 3rd grade teacher). She confirms: 1 beer, 100 baht, + (6*150 lady drinks), + (4*800 BJ) = 4200. I pay with 5 1,000's, ask for 300 back. Hey, worth it TO ME, and I, like Douglas MacArthur, will return.
To those that say why bother with run-of-the-mill ladies rather than stunners, fine, you have your opinion, I have mine. Certainly Meet the World is not for everyone. But sometimes men just want to have fun [S]...[/S].
Mission accomplished, I take the direct MRT back to Sukhumvit, taking the opportunity to top up my Metro card. Again, expired, and again, 100 baht to renew, but here, no new card required, so the 100 baht taken from the remaining balance. 1000 baht on the card, clerk seems a bit surprised and asks me to confirm. I do; again, it's the convenience.
At Asoke, sadly, one [I]death[/I] to report. The Dunkin Donuts stand at the base of the sky train escalators is RIP. Bummer, so convenient.
Later, on the RTB, walking down Soi 55, I experience a miracle. At a marked crosswalk, painted on street, but [B]NO[/B] traffic light, I wait for a gap in the near side traffic and cross to the middle. Standing there, I'm ready, as usual, to wait for a gap in the oncoming traffic. To my SHOCK, the traffic slows, then stops, the lead bus and SUV in their respective lanes stopping. I'm thinking is this a tease: let the falang start to cross, gun the engines, and see how fast he can run? Maybe elder abuse has become a crime. Or maybe they're thinking "this stupid falang, he just MIGHT start to cross, and squashing one would require a lot of paperwork". Anyway, feeling like Moses parting the Red Sea, I cross, astounded.
And the moral of the redacted story is: This is Bangkok, the sex scene is NOT underground. You DON'T need contacts or even names (certainly a point of reference but not required). Everyone has different ideas of attractiveness, menu requirements, and as far as attitude goes, that is one-on-one dependent. So pick your venues (bars, MP's, FL's), get out, and look YOURSELF. Only YOU can say if her [I]experience[/I] is worth it to [B]YOU[/B]. One man's [I]must see[/I] is another man's [I]eh[/I]. Like Rush says, So get out there and rock and roll the bones [S]...[/S].
Note 1: As I passed the Rose bar, a mature lady and man sitting outside. She calls out, "Come to MY bar, have ladies", waving laminated folder pages with a lot of pictures. Think the typical MP sheet. Now, there is no way this could be the Rose, as even in its heyday, never that many ladies, and good looking ones at that. Simply kept on walking. Later, coming down the staircase from the World, there she was, my STALKER? The same pitch, come to my bar, have ladies. Only in the distant past could I remember 3 shots on goal in a couple of hours, so easy to ignore. Best I could imagine, she was the snare for unwary visitors.
