Underwhelming Penthouse Report
I visited Penthouse on Thursday September 19th, arrived around 11 pm and left at 2:30 am with a feeling of disappointment. First you go through a metal detector and get frisked, then up the stairs where ladies in dresses wait to charge you the 3000 entry fee and bring you inside. None of them were particularly attractive, only one of them understood basic English so she was the one who took me inside. Seeing as it was obvious it was my first time there she should have explained how things work, but she didn't really explain anything, if I was not a member of this fine forum I wouldn't even know that sex is possible, I would just think that it's a mediocre strip club. All she said was that I can either sit at the bar, or pay an extra 2000 to sit at a table looking at the stage, I chose the bar based on Iceberg27's advice and that is definitely good advice, if you don't sit at the bar you miss most of the action (such as it is). Plus there were not very many guys when I was there and I could have sat down at a table looking at the stage later if I wanted, nobody is checking when there are many empty tables. Ordered a drink from the bored looking topless bartender, paid for it immediately, settled in to observe, and was quite disappointed by the optics. I spotted about 20 girls including the waitresses, most of which were in the 6-7 range, definitely below average for Moscow, you can step out onto New Arbat street, take a 10 minute walk and you will see 20 hotter girls than the ones working in Penthouse. There were only 3 girls that I would consider for a session, one young cute Kazakh girl with decent English, and 2 hot Russian girls that I would put in the 8-9 range (but again by Moscow standards they are nothing to write home about). Naturally, the 9 was busy entertaining some high rollers in the VIP section. Every 30 minutes or so the girls will go around and offer a 1 minute dance where you can touch them and talk to them up close in exchange for a small tip. I was tipping them 1000 since I only had 1000 bills, but that is way over the top, the expected tip is 100 and they won't even notice that you gave more so it is a waste of money, I suggest you go there with 100 bills. I managed to talk to the 8 when she came to offer a dance, her English was near zero but with the help of Google translate she agreed to go to a room with me, price per hour was 16 k for her and 8 k for the room, but then she said that there is a long queue to get a room since they are all occupied. She promised to come back but never did so I approached her about an hour later and she said there is no room available and that she is still waiting, she disappeared from the club after that probably because when a room became available she grabbed the nearest man instead of trying to find me. Afterwards I spoke to the Kazakh when she approached for a dance and I wanted to go to a room with her, but she said she already has a bunch of sessions scheduled and she has been waiting for a room for 2 hours. The way it works is you agree on a session with a girl, she will go and put her name in the queue for a room and then when a room is free she will go there with whichever of the men who asked for a session with her is close at the time. She explained that the reason for this long wait time is because some of the rooms were being renovated so there weren't enough, and when men book the rooms and keep extending their stay, everyone else has to wait. She did offer to go to my hotel instead, but for her to leave the club I would have to pay a 50.000 ruble bar fine on top of what I would pay her, which is crazy expensive.
I suppose I was just unlucky, but even ignoring the shortage of rooms, the atmosphere in the club was just boring. Pole dancing was mediocre, quality of the girls is bad by Russian standards, there were also some older tired looking girls with bad plastic surgery desperately trying to get money from dances who I had to reject over and over, the topless bartenders were so bored that one of them literally leaned over the bar and looked like she is asleep. The icing on the cake was when a couple hours after I had already paid for my drinks a different bartender came to charge me for them, and when I told her I already paid she had to shake the sleeping girl awake to confirm that I did.
I spent almost 3 hours there waiting for a room to become available, and finally had enough around 2:30 am. As I was walking out with an obvious face of disappointment, the hostesses at the entrance completely ignored me, half asleep, they didn't even ask how it was or say bye. I saw it mentioned in this thread that this is part of a chain of clubs and that they offer a free taxi ride between them, but I saw no indication of that at the club itself and nobody offered it. Maybe I was just unlucky and / or Thursday is a bad day to go, but Penthouse was a complete waste of time and money, no better than some German FKKs, at least there you don't have to wait to get a room.
Has the mongering scene changed since the war started?
Hi gentlemen,
I haven't been to Russia since Feb 2022 and I'm interested on your opinions on the war's effects on the mongering scene in Moscow (or in Russia in general). Has it become better, or worse? Or no significant changes?