Gonzo Excellent Barranquilla Carnaval Adventure (pt 1)
As I come down from my p*ssy and Carnaval induced high and as the blood is slowly transferred back to my brain, I reflect upon a unique and mind blowing experience from which I had the opportunity to attend: the Baranquilla Carnaval.
While in BAQ, I happened to turn on the TV to witness some of the other forums that I/we could not attend, and for some strange reason, the US Ambassador was speaking about Carnavals. He stated, in espanol, that there are four major Carnavals in the world:
1. Rio
2. Mardi Gras
3. Baranquilla
4. Spain (multi-city)
There are others, originating in Venice centuries ago, but these are major. Carnavals, are more than a parade and a few drinks. This is a total shutdown of a major city into party mode (apparently the purpose of Carnaval is to party hearty before Lent kicks in). In my time in BAQ, I stayed in the nicest area, the Prado barrio, and it was vacant as heaven on a Saturday nigh (thank you Leonard Cohen). Everything is shut down.
I booked my 10 day vacation in CTG without fore-knowledge of the Carnaval, and when I learned about it here, I decided that I had to go. This is where it was going to be at, and couldn't imagine just spending another day at the beach or LDV when the Carnaval was going on.
Not knowing how booked up hotels would be, I checked out hotel on the internet, and found, to my surprise, Hotel Barranquilla Plaza had rooms available with a month to go. But did it cost me, like 150 with taxes, US rates, obviously they were going to stick it to the man for this week.
Carnaval (and BAQ in general) is not a place to monger alone, it's a party in which one should be accompanied by a chica. So before I got to CTG, I arranged a chica friend from CTG to accompany me. She moved to Medellin so I bussed her in. However, she ends up taking the bus late and I have to make other arrangements. I was pissed at her, but we worked it out later.
NOTE: Baranquilla is a big cosmopolitan city like Medellin, and a contrast to the near ubiquitous poverty of Cartagena. And like other guys have noted, it is not a mongering destination, but if you happen to be there, there are casas and clubs, many you will never hear about in this forum. In general it's a place to take a chica to.
The night before leaving to BAQ, I was talking to another chica 'friend' of mine in Laguito (chica #2), and told her of my plans. She had this big look of disappointment on her face, and asked me, 'next time you go, take me! '
So when chica #1 flakes out, I called chica #2, and asked her, can you be ready to go in 3 hours? She gave out an 'eeeyyy' sound and like clockwork, she showed up in a taxi just before the Marisol bus was about to pull away from my apartment. Not bad for a single mom. Money was never discussed, she wanted to party. Latinas can be punctual if they're sufficiently motivated. Though it's rare.
And as discussed previously, the road from CTG to BAQ is fine. It is full of military checkpoints and the odds are slim (though not 0) of anything wrong going on. On the outskirts of CTG, just past the airport, check out the extremely poor barrio of La Boquilla, and remember the stifling poverty the next time you're feeling sorry for yourself.
Hotel Baq Plaza is a decent hotel, 3. 5 stars IMO, though the rooms could be a bit bigger, but no problemo. Another guy from my Playa Mar apartment was going to the Carnaval with his chica friend and we decided to hookup for a big Rumba at the Hotel Prado. The tickets were expensive, like 35-40 bucks per person, but were told it was THE party in town that night.
NOTE: Even though the Prado barrio hotels are expensive, the north side of town, where Prado resides, it where the action is, and where most of the parade routes start. My friend regretted booking a cheaper hotel way on the south side with the hassle of shlepping to the events. At the BAQ Plaza hotel, we were within a 10 minute walk or taxi ride to events.
(next Rumba time)
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Gonzo's Excellent Barranquilla Carnaval Adventure (pt 2)
Rumba (Almost) All Night Long
When I began learning espanol about 6 years ago, I quickly realized that learning another language is not just a means of communication with people of a different code. It is a doorway to a different frame of mind or mindset, a world-view, a way of seeing the world. Over the years I began to see how Latinos see things different from the gringo mindset and that is possibly due to simply how language is expressed.
So I thought I knew a little bit about the Latino culture and mindset as I came into the rumba. For example, most other cultures have much different view of time (don't we know with the Late-tinas! ) than our culture, they're more connected with space than time. But that night, I feel like I really got it in a way like never before.
The Hotel Prado grounds were setup for a combination party/concert, and when we arrived, it had the energy that is common just outside any concert, people selling all sorts of shit, including phony and real tickets.
NOTE: Beware of scalpers for the events in Carnaval, there are a lot of phony tickets being sold and they will target gringos and you may discover too late that you've bought a very expensive piece of paper worth nothing.
We entered the outside concert arena, which was huge, about 75 yards long with a massive set of speakers that shook one's body with the bass sounds. The setup is table based, about 12 seats to a cloth table, with all sorts of booze to purchase (no BYOB). But we discovered that those 75 yards were the back HALF of the hall, the overflow area!
The bigger and wider section was up front, and we quickly grabbed 4 seats. Though the tables were not supposed to be reserved, it was obvious that deals were being done. We got there just as the concert started and we were seated about 50-75 yards from the stage, but it was fine. If you want to attend this kind of event and being close to the stage is important to you, get there an hour a head of time.
We ordered some food (great soup) and a bottle of Ron Medellin and got down to enjoy the event. And there was plenty of enjoyment for the eyeballs. Let me give you my opinion of Barranquilla women: they're gorgeous. Though BAQ is in the coastal/costeno region, most of the women were triguena or blanca, and the blancas were sooo beautiful, very soft, feminine features, but different from the Paisa look. Of course, with the cost of these tickets, you're gonna get a heavy blend of rica blancas. And it was double the pleasure as they began to shake "what dey got". But with many of these beauties, I couldn't figure it out, they were much older men. Were they with their husband or their father? Probably the former, a rich dude. But then who am I to talk, my date was 29 years younger than me! BTW, I also looked all over, and saw 2 other gringos the whole night, in a crowd of about 4 thousand. Refreshing. This is a pure Latino gathering with 0 gringo influence. A celebration by and for Barranquilla really. There were about 5-6 bands over the night, the first were the Police, at least a Latin group dressed up in Police uniforms.
But it was the pure Latino experience I want to talk about, back to my original point. I was blown away by the totally purity of the joy expressed by everyone, joy for Latin music, for being a Baranquillero, a Colombiano, a Latino. Even with all the alcohol, there was no hint of heaviness, it had this light quality of unadulterated celebration and happiness. Even though I never been to Mardi Gras, it was the opposite of the sloppy-drunk 'show me your tits' kind of yahoo experience that I've seen on videos. And part of that pure Latino experience is the expression of that joy and wild-letting-go through dance. Latino America and dance are intimately intertwined, a culture of dance, salsa, meringue, etc.
With people dancing in the aisles, on their chairs, some on the tables, I was truly impressed by the many salseros all around, especially one couple, in which the guy must have weight 280 pounds. He and his chica were an amazing dance couple, and how he could move that huge body around so fast was beyond me. Probably lots of practice since childhood.
One of the highlights of the night was (I believe) a new song called 'Mama Ron'. Wherever this song comes on people start smiling and laughing, it's huge. The lyrics are funny, an homage to a drink that is like mother's milk. Have to get that song. Mama Ron, todo el dia, Mama Ron.
In any case, the four of stayed from 8 till about 2:30AM, and the party was still going on. Some people looked exhausted, taking breaks before going back to dancing. My friend told me that the concert goes until dawn. I keep thinking about taking salsa lesson, now I want to learn it even more.
(next: Cosmic Parade)
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Gonzo's Excellent Barranquilla Carnaval Adventure (pt 3)
Cosmic Parade
NOTE: If you want to take pictures of the parades, most of them run north-south, so stay on the western side of the street, and you will get some great shots in the late afternoon sun behind you.
After the marathon dance/concert/party/rumba we slept in, and had plans to attend the Grande Parada on Sunday.There are about a dozen parades over the 4 days of Carnaval of various lengths and routes, as well several rumbas in the big hotels and thousands of neighborhood parties in the streets!
Even though its' February, BAQ is hot. Freakin' hot. Fortunately the Grande Parada route paralled the river, and there were a few breezes to cool things off. But not by much.
We took a taxi to an area that was close to the start of the parade, around calle 80. We were approached by a number of guys scalping tickets and refused them. But one guy said, 'I'll accompany you to the ticket entrance, and you pay me when you get in'. Seemed like an honest deal, and it worked. Maybe the ticket guy was in on it too, but it got us into a smaller bank of stands that were next to the large grandstand. Unfortunately the roof didn't completely protect us from the sun, and we fried for awhile. Even the Baranquilleros were sweating bad. To add to this, the parade, scheduled to start at 1PM didn't get going to 2PM.
Now you may have some preconception of a parade from the 11 o'clock new showing fire trucks and kids waving flags in small town USA. But forget about it, this is a whole different level, like something from another planet. If I could sum it up, the BAQ parades are Disneyland meets Latin tradition meets tripping-on-acid-at-Dead-Concert meets a Las Vegas Chorus Line - it was so far beyond any expectation of possibility of fun that it was at the point of happy tears at times. Like my inner child came out and began to rock out with the awesome display of music, colors, dance, energy, trippy shit, comedy. Awesome entertainment.
Before the actual parade started, there were a few clowns and mimes coming around, keeping it lively. 5 clowns approached me, the only gringo in sight, opened up what looked like prayer books, and in chorus recited what appeared to be a slightly dirty poem - I didn't catch all of it, but people were all laughing around me. And they requested me to bless their holy book afterward, and then asked for a tip. Fun to be part of the entertainment.
In the grande parade there are a number of re-occurring themes: african dancers, Minney Mouse with Afros, traditional dances, gorillas, Marimondas (see below)), clowns, big giant heads, guys without heads, beauty queens in scant clothing. The traditional dances were beautiful - the women had full length dresses in which they would hold up like inverted peacocks, revealing gorgeous colors. And the dancers ranged from 5 years old to some about 75 or more. The little kids were so cute - they hardly knew what was going on. And the women were gorgeous, many of them just young teenagers, whom I assume were thrilled to have their day of fame. Meanwhile I'm snapping away, taking about 200 shots, and the women would turn slightly towards me to get a good shot of them. My camera seemed to gravitate towards the prettiest chicas in the parade. Funny, that.
The ‘mascot’ of the Carnaval is a mythical creature known as a Marimonda, which is sorta like a skinny elephant. Of course there ain’t no elephants in South America, and the exaggerated nose of the Marimonda is a phallic symbol representing the drunk, crazy, naught Colombia man, looking for a place to put his trunk.
It’s hard to describe a parade sin parar, it would not end. Group after group, hour after hour of just wonderful unbridled, fun energy. I was juxtaposed about 200 yards from the beginning of the parade, and from my vantage point I could see and feel the energy of the dancers in each group as they approached, like watching waves of the ocean from a distance. The never-ending dance of colors, energies, beats of the drums and the rhythmic sounds of the accompanying flutes had an affect on my consciousness – it was like a mini-acid trip that put me into a blissful state, all the while my inner child was brimming with delight.
Though there were recurrent themes, there were numerous groups with just plain wild-ass costumes that took lots of imagination and lots more time to assemble, along with all sorts of dance numbers. Some groups had mostly little kids, some groups were very professional, many were not, some had mature ladies. And some only had hotties – and my camera was working overtime with those groups.
As the hours went on, apparently the organizers saw that it was running late, so the last hour of dancers were more like runners, and by the time the last group came through, it was pitch dark, the parade lit only by the streetlights. But the parade was only one part of the party.
(next: post-parade wildness)
Gonzo's Excellent Barranquilla Carnaval Adventure (pt 3)
i wanted to finish up the rest of my story of the carnaval, and thank the guys who responded.
i stood for almost 5 hours transfixed by the energy of the carnaval, being fed by it, ignoring the heat and the tiredness and the constant bombardment of sensual stimulation. it was already pitch dark by the time the carnaval ended, the final groups being powered by streetlights. my chica was a real sport, she enjoyed the parade, happy to be a part of it, but probably not for 5 hours. she was patient while i was acting like a camera-crazy adolescent tourist, high on my inner child. she looked gorgeous in her sombrero. some chicas just look great in hats.
like a post concert letdown, the crowds streamed out into the street, and we filtered down 79th or 80th st westward (the parade was on the eastern most street, next to the river). usually, when you leave a concert or other high powered event, you expect a letdown into a lower strata of energy, or different, more diffuse energy. but not at carnaval. you go from one party to another.
the crowds streaming out of the parade ran smack into another wild scene. the neighborhood near the parade ground was in full party mode. bar after bar brought their sound system outside, blasting reggaeton, rock, salsa and other assorted native tunes. one particular bar also brought out their total giant screen television, creating a spontaneous dance concert with a latino version of a mosh-pit.
my chica and i, as well as the parade goers were blocked by the mosh-pit scene, so we had to turn down a side street and then parallel our way westward. so here i was in the middle of this wild south american scene, my chica at my side, the only gringo in sight. perhaps on other days i may have felt a little out of place or unsafe. the neighborhood was a strata 3ish, not bad, but not the prado neighborhood either. but just like main street, every 4th or 5th house brought their stereo system onto the street, along with tables full of food, display a long array of block parties. it was crazy, but not unsafe, people were in party mode, and i think if i simply made an effort to say hello, i would have been invited to join in the fun on the street. people were in that happy drunk place, you know, where they love everyone and just want to dance. maybe by midnite the fights would break out.
but my chica and i were really feeling it from the whole day of activity. we just wanted to find a cab and get away form the noise. we were looking forward to some quiet time, maybe a little sexy time too. we got back onto 80th street going around the mosh-pit party, trying in vain to catch a cab, which were pulling double duty now that the parade was over. miraculously, my chica hails down one rare empty cab, and speed away from the big neighborhood party scene.
back to baranquilla plaza hotel, where it was soooo quiet and peaceful, we took a shower and went to dinner. down the hill (south) from the hotel, about 50 yards on the opposite side of hte street are two restaurants, one is the buffalo grille, on the right, and on the left, i think it's called verdadero (? ). we did verdadaro, which delivered some really awesome seafood for an equally awesome cheap price. the price of food in baranquilla, void of gringos and tourists in general, stays at a very reasonable low-market rate, even top-notch food. it was delightful.
while sitting an outside table, eating dinner at night (such a pleasure for february, no? ), i noticed a group of gringas nearby, picking up the english, something so rare. they looked like nice women, but i could help but notice how unattractive they were in comparison to the general latina population in baq. maybe it's just that one tires of seeing something familiar, and the exotic is always more attractive (something that certainly plays to my/our advantage in south america! ).
in any case, we went back to the hotel, and watched a bit of television. they had on a great dance show from the carnaval, but i couldn't help notice how big the main dancer's boobs were, very odd for a dancer, but nothing unusual for colombia. we also watched the crowning of miss baranquilla carnaval, some great eye candy.
we crashed, but the next morning my chica gave me one of the best bbbjs of my life, she really upped her game in the last year or two! so we packed up, and before we left baq, i gave her a fairly nice stack of 50mil pesos, rewarding her for her patience, great attitude and getting her butt to my apartment on 3 hours notice for a weekend trip. and i told her that and that i was paying her for her time, like an escort. she let out a girly giggle and gave me a big kiss. the ride back to ctg was uneventful except for the group of italianos and their skinny puta ldv pickups with oversized boobs.
so in all, carnaval was a weekend that i will not forget, made even better by the spontaneous quality of my late planning. i highly recommend you get here at least once in your life, or to any carnaval. of course rio is wilder and larger in size, but baq is much closer and perhaps a lot safer. gonzo over and out.
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