Phnom Penh: Day 2 - The $5 Switcheroo Massage
I keep thinking I'd write about my interesting experience with the prolific $5 massage in Phnom Penh, but apart from being lazy, life just gets in the way. I wrote about my Day 1 experience at [URL]http://www.internationalsexguide.nl/forum/showthread.php?937-Phnom-Penh&p=3045595&viewfull=1#post3045595[/URL].
It was Day 2. I woke up with a ray of sunshine hitting my face on my white (is it still white?) bed-sheet. I jumped up and looked aside, quickly moving the three layers of towels I'd put down to cover the mishap from the night before. Surprisingly, it didn't look too bad. It looks like those twenty minutes of scrubbing really did clean up the mess.
I freshened up and walked downstairs to get my breakfast, which was included with the room at the Lux Riverside hotel. The breakfast was much better than my expectations. I saw a few grandpa aged gentlemen in their shorts having breakfast with their dangerously young local companions. They must've gone for LT. Nevertheless I definitely need to work on my confidence!
I quickly finished my breakfast and sprinted across the arena outside. The day was bright. I made a few rounds around the hotel and finally decided to walk to the Royal Palace. On my way, I walked past a street market with fresh vegetables and poultry, a monastery, and a bunch of $5 massage shops with similar architecture and signboards.
The resemblance is too uncanny. They are all built like a shanty and compartmentalized by thin partitions, with all the walls covered in some sort of conspicuous wallpaper. I mapped them from various angles as I was walking past them every few blocks with my curious eyes. It's the same across all the shops. Are they owned by the same owner?
Now I know what you veterans are thinking. This moron is going to make the same mistake we have warned against in numerous posts on this website. I know, and I am not a moron; well, at least that's what I was thinking. I've read all of your posts and already knew what the deal was. The massage is indeed a $5 massage, but your net worth will sink more than $5 by the time you're coming out of the shop because someone has switched out a few bills with fakes in your pocket.
I knew (I thought) I was smart and brushed off the thought of going into such a shop. I marched towards the Royal Palace and decided to spend the next few hours appreciating fine Cambodian culture and architecture rather than falling for a cheap trick massage.
I spent a few hours seeing the palace and the surrounding areas. The sun was right above my head and the day was hot. I figured I'd had enough cultural enrichment and it was time to go back to the hotel. I bought a coconut and a sugarcane juice to quench my thirst on this scorching day. Prices are so cheap. I wish I could leave the cold, barren land of the US and move to SEA!
As I was heading towards my hotel, I couldn't stop noticing the $5 massage shops. Like a fly that can't stop flying toward a glowing flame, I couldn't resist the magnetic field of these places. What's the worst that could happen? I already knew the deal. Rule number one: do not put your clothes in the locker in the room, as they have access to the locker from the other side of the wall. I kept walking and tried to brush off my impulses, but then I found myself walking past this one particular shop.
The pull was just too strong. I had my sugarcane juice in one hand and my confidence in the other, thinking I could outsmart the scam. There was nothing special about this shop compared to the others, except for a cute young lady in her early twenties totally engrossed on her phone while sitting on a cheap plastic chair, and an old lady sleeping on a dirty low COT left to her in this summer heat, seemingly guarding the door to the mysterious interior. Is she her mom or the mamasan? Either way, the pure indifference of the young lady somehow caught my attention, and I started walking toward her.
I asked the cute lady about the massage, and she stood up, confirming it was indeed $5. Her mom (or the mamasan?) was still sleeping; the summer heat must be exhausting. The lady walked through the mysterious door and I followed.
The walls were truly a piece of art, made of the flimsiest cardboard imaginable and wrapped in a busy, violetish wallpaper. There were several rooms, quite the facility for a $5 shop. She led me into a tiny space where a COT tucked into the left corner took up nearly the entire room, extending all the way to the door. To the right, the wall started right at the entrance, with a small, pointed locker bolted to it. She signaled for me to undress and put my clothes in that chamber of secrets!
My heart started jumping. Everything was matching the scripts! It reminded me of my school days when I had prepared all night using a selected question bank from the last few years, and during the test, the questions actually matched what I'd prepared for. It was going to be so easy, wasn't it! I immediately told her that I am not putting my clothes in that mysterious chamber; instead, they will be on the bed next to my legs with a direct line of sight! She seemed disappointed, but was okay with it!
I undressed and laid face down on the bed, with my clothes piled at the end next to my legs. I knew I could lift my head at any time, look downward to the right, and keep a constant check on them. I was thrilled to be outsmarting the scam.
The massage started; well, if you could even call it a massage. Let's call her Mei. She put some oil on her hands and was lightly brushing my back. Calling it a massage would be a shame, but here I was. My heart was still pounding and I didn't know why. In my mind, I had thwarted the scam, but something didn't quite feel right. Was it my sixth sense?
Mei said something in Cambodian, maybe to break the ice? Wait, I don't speak Cambodian, and so far I spoke with her in English. Also she was a bit loud. My heart started pounding harder. Something didn't feel right. Did I hear a sound? For some reason I was kind of spell bound and didn't lift my head to look down right. The light brushing on my back continued. I started feeling something was off and could do nothing about it.
I finally broke the spell and looked downward to the right. My heart stopped. There was a guy with a bowl haircut in a crawled position, his torso halfway through a square-shaped hole in the flimsy wall, rummaging through my pants. Little did I know there was another entry to Pandora's box exactly next to the COT where I had placed my clothes. It was the very same wall where the locker was that I'd refused to put my clothes in.
As soon as I looked, time froze. We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. I didn't know who was in a worse position, me being naked with oil on my back or him in a crawled position holding my pants. He then broke the ice by dropping the pants, said sorry and instantly disappeared, slamming the panel shut. I jumped up, scrambling for my wallet to check my money. I saw the stack of Cambodian Riel and my $50 bill still sitting there. I breathed a sigh of relief, figuring I had caught him just in time. Mei suddenly made a cross sign with her hands, playing dumb and signaling "no massage!
The atmosphere in the room was surreal. The silence was deafening as I felt a surge of adrenaline, a mix of horror and a strange sense of victory. I figured the worst was already past me. I rebuked her for scamming innocent customers and lectured her to earn money in an honest way, then again lied face down. I was not leaving before getting my full massage!
I don't recall whether it was her or myself who brought up the extra curricular activities but we ended up agreeing on a $20 free hand exercise. The exercise was as bad as the massage, if not worse. She was reciprocating her oily hands vigorously as if slowing down a bit may bring the universe to a halt and I was not having any of that. To end things more amicably, I offered another $5 to be able to knead her bosoms and take a nibble. By virtue of that I was able to release and come to an end!
I paid a total of $30 in Cambodian Riel, got dressed, and stepped out of the room. The older lady was still sleeping in the summer heat, undisturbed. I jumped onto the street with mixed feelings.
Was I happy? Was I shaken? One thing I could tell was that my heart was still pounding. Maybe it was the adrenaline of the confrontation, or the happy ending? Who knows?
I kept walking toward my hotel, but even two blocks away, I was still covered in goosebumps. Something didn't feel right, a lingering shadow I couldn't shake. I stopped in my tracks and pulled out my wallet.
The edge of the $50 bill was right there where I had left it. I hadn't lost anything. For some reason, I automatically pulled the note out. My God! It was a washed out, cheap fake. The guy with the bowl haircut had indeed switched the bill, and I, like a moron, had actually believed I'd caught him before the switcheroo.
The next few minutes were even more dramatic. I can be as much of a coward as you can imagine, but I spun 180 degrees and sprinted back toward the shop. The setup was exactly the same as when I first walked in. Mei was totally engrossed in her phone while sitting on that same cheap plastic chair, and the old lady was still sleeping on the dirty low COT to her left in the summer heat, still seemingly guarding the door to the mysterious interior of the scam.
If you've watched The Truman Show, it was exactly like a scene from the movie. Like a glitch in the Matrix. Shouldn't they at least be celebrating the $50? I had just been "mugged," yet there was no adrenaline, no whispering, no counting the loot. Just the same static, unceremonious silence. It was almost insulting. Funny that the old lady was still sleeping; apparently, a mid-day heist doesn't even qualify for an eye-twitch.
I jumped into the shop, holding the fake bill in my left hand. I yanked Mei right out of her chair and shouted at the top of my lungs, "This is a fake bill! Where is he!
I started pulling her toward the door, determined to go back inside and find the guy with the bowl haircut, as if he were still just sitting in that crawl position on the other side of the wall. This was finally enough to wake the old lady. She sprang up from the bed, remarkably nimbly for her age, and pretended to be scratching her eyes. She walked over to me, took the fake bill, held it up to the light to examine it better, and then quickly tore it into pieces!
Without a word, she reached into her clothes, pulled out a real $50 bill, and handed it to me. I am pretty confident that it is the same bill the bowl cut guy stole from me. Not sure how that traveled from the guy to her purse given she was sleeping the entire time. The world is full of mysteries and we petty humans should not try to decode every one of them!
I examined the note thoroughly and it was indeed a real bill. I put it back into my wallet, got out of the shop, walked back to my hotel and took a long nap! Well, readers, this is the end of my $50 switcheroo massage journey. I have a few more experiences to share from this trip, but nothing as dramatic as this. Until then!
Note: Also posted this on another forum.
Pics of Head Bandages, Hospital Beds & Birthdays
I've been to PP about six or seven times. I often receive requests (begging) after I leave for money. Girls send me photos of head bandages or laying on a hospital bed. I received many! Additionally they ask for a birthday gift or money when they return to their province empty-handed.
I've been to Japan, Thailand, Laos, Indonesia and Vietnam. Only Khmer girls beg like this. However, Thai girls are known to beg for a dying water buffalo.
Has anyone experienced this in Cambodia?
Darling Darling. Still a rip-off?
This club inside Naga World.
I've been here twice, but remembered that the second time it was especially way overpriced. It was a nice place if you're with a buddy, but terrible if you go in alone. Walk in, sit down, have dozens of younger women size you up. By younger. I mean that most of the women here seemed to be between 21-30 and all were fairly attractive compared to what you might find in the red light districts or free lancers elsewhere. My problem was the over-inflated market rates. I think it was $75 for sitting fee, $75 for bar fine, and the girls themselves wanted $500 for an all-nighter. That is on top of the alcohol tab. Pretty sure at that point, I wasn't thinking straight so I just agreed to everything and even made a quick trip to the Casino right there in Naga World. Can anyone confirm similar pricing? I feel like you should be able to get multiple chicks for $500.
It wasn't all a sore spot though. Like I mentioned, they do have quality women (compared to other places) but what do I do, I've only been to PP on two separate occasions. The girl that I did end up taking with me was pretty cool. We actually ended up meeting up for a date on a different night in Bassac Lane. Total GFE. Dinner, drinks, karaoke, walking around holding hands, touching and kissing. Back at the hotel I only gave her $300 for the night. I feel like that is even too high. YOLO. Ce La Vie. On another night, hanging out in Bassac Lane again, I picked up a random freelancer and only gave her $100 and she was totally fine with that. She wasn't necessarily "working" at the time but her friends were, but I wanted her, but my cousin who got with her friend who was actually working gave her the same as me ($100).
All that context above just to ask you gents. What is the going rate for one night lay with a women in PP in your experience? I don't want to be taken for a fool and I don't want to move the market for anyone else. Those rates are even more expensive than Bangkok and I feel like quality is subjectively better in BKK.
