Jakarta

I've been twice to Malioboro floor 2 and am wondering if anyone has taken the Vietnamese podium dancer upstairs to the hotel? If so is she as good horizontally as vertically? I don't know how many Vietnamese there are but she's the one who can really dance. She shares the stage with a black haired Russian (girl in wrinkly thigh length black boots.

Field reports to follow.

On my first visit to Malioboro I had a bit of a false start as the mamas ignored me. On my third drink I got fed up with being ignored so up and went to the other room with a live band, left when the singer started murdering I Can't Live if Living is Without You, came back in the big room and this time sat down stairs. I was immediately approached by a friendly mama who told me the prices and pointed out a few girls under her control. Different mamas seem to wrangle different sets of girls and from previous reports it seems that some girls may be managed at different prices by different mamas. It's also possible that some girls choose to stay hidden under their blankets because you're not their type or because they're tired after sessioning with an athlete.

Reports from late last year seem to suggest 800 k as the asking price but 900 k didn't seem unreasonable so I decided to pick someone. After all what's the point of spending all that money on this trip just to bail over a small surcharge?

I thought I might have some trouble picking an Indonesian because they all seemed very attractive, most were shall we say overdressed or should that be under dressed, and some where smiling at me. But in the end I had no trouble picking because one of the smiley ones was dressed more elegantly in a floral dress. Classy is always good. And so I picked my Indonesian Vice Girl.

By vice I mean pussy like a vice. The vice broke 1 x Okamoto 002 and 2 x Sagami 001's. She then said that as my condoms were all lousy we should go on without. And to think I picked her because she looked a nice girl. The bareback offer was a mood killer having broken out of 3 condoms and I was wondering what souvenirs of the session I might have picked up. So much for Japanese precision engineering.

The basic cost 900 K++. I didn't pick up the itemized bill so I don't know how many extras were added for this session. Vice Girl insisted on a 200 k tip. I considered asking her to refund the cost of an STD checkup but there's a lot of staff between the third floor and the main exit. By the way, third floor rooms are really fucking noisy because they're right above the disco.

According to ISO-69 (International Syzygies Order) specification:

Face 7 at least. I didn't think she was as pretty as some of the others until I looked at her more closely.

Body basically 7 slim with small breasts, bit big across the ass for my taste but yet kinda juicy so +1 for some of you. Definitely +2 for being tight.

Enthusiasm average 7, sometimes she was a bit starfish and other times quite sexy, struck a great post with her ass sticking up but was very difficult to get inside her in that position which immediately killed condom #3.

GFE not really GFE but friendly.

Skills 6 nothing special until I had a power failure after the bareback offer, then +2 for a great deep throat BBBJ to restart the engine.

English OK for her job.

Session 2 was with Miss Sex Goddess Indonesia, podium dancer divine.

Face 8 at least, maybe -1 for the oversize blue contact lenses.

Body would be 13 out of 10 but -1 for tattoos, minus another 1 for the Hello Kitty tattoos (seriously not sexy, not even on that body) and -1 for having a man's name tattooed on her forearm. Hey but that's still a 10. Maybe you can +1 because she really knows how to pose.

Enthusiasm average 7 despite being super sexy at dancing she doesn't move that much except when on top when she moves so much it's impossible to stay inside.

GFE not really and she was really pissed out of her skull which didn't help. I just thought she couldn't walk straight in those high heels but turns out she couldn't walk straight at all.

Skills 6 nothing special except the ability to pose very sexily, +1 for that.

English OK for her job.

Damage was supposed to be 1. 8 million but not sure of the total cost. Despite a mixed session she absolutely insisted on a 200 k tip plus a 50 k tip for her manager.

The total bill was over 4. 2 millions for 2 girls and 3 drinks not including 2 x 200 k tips for the session girls, 50 k tip for podium manager and 50 k for the sexy waitress that I keep trying to take upstairs.

Before the Price Police file their reports, I had a memorable evening that was more good than bad. I think it was a bit expensive but I want my lasting memory to be the curves, the sexy posing, the deep throat experience, and a vice like grip not the final bill and a debate whether I paid 1% too much.

And Before the Tip Police file their reports, I wanted to tip the manager because I want to get in his and his girls good books and I wanted to tip the waitress because I want to get her in her knickers. Everyone else from the room cleaners to the door attendant, podium dancers, waiters, mosquitos, roaches, mice and undercover cops asked for a tip but I didn't tip them. Though I did donate some blood to one of the mozzies. If girl 1 gave me anything, then maybe the mozzie got it too. Share and share alike.

There's a 3% charge for paying by card but either their calculator or their cashier isn't good at math. So you pays your money and you takes your chance.

Short version.

Same podium girl as last time but lower scores this time for very very bad breath and general lack of hygiene.

Long version.

Anticipating that the Price Police will have already written how I'm over paying at Malioboro I set out with the intentions of trying the cheaper end of the market. I decided a chicken sandwich was in order so headed to Kartika. It took a little finding but it's one street south of Mangga Besar on the east side. It's pretty much at the end of the street on the right hand side. There are some other equally dingy massage places on the right hand side.

No sooner had I stepped out of the bright afternoon light into the dark dismal smoke filled chamber that is reception then I was pounced upon by a large lady wearing a waitress badge. She immediately said this lady very good service and shoved another chubby woman into me knocking me back a step. I wasn't used to having women throw one another at me until I went to Fire Pit in Angeles last week. That was a painful experience.

The second lady said the first lady with waitress badge is mamasan. She multitasks as waitress, weightlifter and bouncer. They started trying to order drinks for me, not lady drinks for them, and quoted me 370 K for a session. I asked about two ladies and was immediately told this was a great idea and it would be 370 K per lady. I asked about paying by card and they said cash only, ATM in Indomart.

So I went back to Indomart but that ATM only dispenses 50 k notes, limit maybe 1 million. I have limited withdrawals per day so need to take as much as possible especially after Malioboro wiped me out of cash the night before. I took my life into my hands crossing Mangga Besar to try ATMs to the north side but they were all 50 k and low limit. So I came back south trying every ATM in turn. Again all 50 k. I did find one dispensing 100 k notes but the limit was still 1 million. After a lot of walking I did find one with 100 k and 2. 5 million limit but it was out of cash. By now I was too pissed off and too hot and tired and very near my hotel so I gave up.

Later I decided to rescue my day and retry Malioboro but go earlier to catch Miss Sex Goddess before she was too plastered to walk. I think she makes a killing on lady drinks. I entered the second floor big room, went straight to the bar, spent 5 minutes trying to get the correct drink as the barkeep seemed to have left his brains in his other clothes, sat down and within 1 minute Miss Sex Goddess was at my table asking for lady drinks. Another definition of good service! As soon as I started to say no she immediately pointed upwards and I said yes and within seconds her manager was at my table with a paper for me to sign.

Like last time he insisted on escorting us to the room. I don't know whether this is to stop other guys groping the dancer en route or just to get a tip. This time I said sorry paying by card and he left smiling.

I forgot to say in my last report that Miss Sex Goddess does collect a condom from the second floor reception but I don't know whether it's an extra charge, see below.

I also forgot to say in my last report that Miss Sex Goddess doesn't shower before or after. At the start of the session she washes her pussy using the high pressure toilet hose and afterwards she washes off any spillages in the wash basin.

Like last time I got the sexy looking but short lived BBBJ before she insisted on a condom. I do find those Sagamis 001's a bit difficult to roll down but not as tricky as the Okamoto 002 hydros. Anyway suitably suited up I went in for missionary. Mistake. Besides not showering it seems Miss Sex Goddess has not brushed her teeth and was recently eating raw sewage judging by the smell. The stench immediately caused a power failure. Determined not to have the day totally ruined and to make up for the previous session, I wanted to try CG. Last time she was bouncing up and down so much it was impossible to stay inside. This time she was more restrained but spent too long trying, well not really trying, to put me inside. When she leaned back the vision was divine. Unfortunately she then leaned forward and breathed on me. That breath was really softening me. So I decided to do her standing doggie in front of the wall mirror. This was the third session room I've been in Malioboro (1 x floor 3, 2 x floor 4) and none of them have strategic pervert mirrors around or over the bed.

Because Miss SG has a great ass as well as perfect boobs I thought that standing doggie in front of the mirror would be visual cocaine and I would be out of range of the bad breath. I forgot that women can stink from between the other lips too and that totally ruined it for me. What a waste of an expensive condom.

She asked what was wrong and I tried to explain politely in sign language that she really needed to brush her teeth. She then spent 5 minutes alone in the bathroom doing something but her breath wasn't any better when she returned.

After a lot of mental effort I managed to spill the milk over those magnificent breasts. I confess to trying to splash a little higher but I was doing well to get that far. She insisted on another 200 k tip so I reluctantly gave her 100 k after a glaring match. When she first noticed it was a mere 100 k she looked like she might cry then she looked like she might stab me with her stiletto so I gave in and handed her the other 100 k though let her know that it was all begrudgingly given. Don't flame me. I figured not being stabbed was worth more than 100 k.

Back in the big room another podium dancer asked me for a lady drink. I said sorry I'm leaving now. She said you just got here. I said here 1 minute then straight upstairs. She asked whether it was a podium dancer or other girl. I said dancer and she shook her said in sorrow saying "Oh no, I'm too late. " Well we all have at least one good looking one that gets away and today I was hers! Sorry miss. She tried to invite herself back to my hotel but I was feeling sick from the smells and had really had enough for one day. So to avoid being pestered for money lady drinks, only mosquitoes surround me more and they don't drain you so dry, I finished my drink in the small room listening to the live band murdering another song I used to like and then left.

As previous reports say, the podium dancers can really hassle you and run up your bill. That doesn't mean you shouldn't partake, just be prepared to physically lift some of them off you when your wallet cries mercy. Guys are taught when women say no they mean no but to these women when guys say no that means try harder to get into his wallet. If you touch the dancers in any way, such as trying to stop them sitting on you, they absolutely expect drinks and tips. But you touched me. No miss, you touched me after I told you no for the fourth time and that was after I turned down the three others in your posse.

On exiting this time I managed to sneak the paperwork out. Sticky fingers.

Product: Massage J.

Therapist: MJ001 20:41-21:44 Rp. 800,000.

Tax 35% Rp. 280,000.

Grand total 1,080,000.

Food & Beverage.

Lounge Rp. 24,000 (one bottle of water that took the barkeep 5 minutes to find in a small fridge. Thank god we're not paying him by the hour or maybe we are and that's why the service charge is so high).

T & S 30% 7,2000.

Grand total 31,200.

Total Transaksi Rp 1,111,200.

The Price Police can stop reading now. For everyone else you should know they then add another 1 million "tip" and then charged me another 30,000 for paying by card, that's on a separate bill. There's no separate item of condoms. I like to think the one the girl collected was free and the room was the 1 million tip and that the dancer was real cheap. We can all dream.

So the final total was 2,141,200 not including 200 k tip for Miss Sex Goddess Sewage Breath.

You'll be fine with earplugs and a nose plug but get there before she's Miss Too Drunk To Walk. The rooms do have toothbrushes but maybe you can take toothpaste and mouthwash and instructions written in Indonesian.

[QUOTE=CharlesDickin;1949707]Besides not showering it seems Miss Sex Goddess has not brushed her teeth and was recently eating raw sewage judging by the smell. The stench immediately caused a power failure. Determined not to have the day totally ruined and to make up for the previous session, I wanted to try CG. Last time she was bouncing up and down so much it was impossible to stay inside. This time she was more restrained but spent too long trying, well not really trying, to put me inside. When she leaned back the vision was divine. Unfortunately she then leaned forward and breathed on me. That breath was really softening me. [/QUOTE]This is hilarious! I think we have all experienced that at some point.

[QUOTE=CharlesDickin;1949687]I picked my Indonesian Vice Girl.

By vice I mean pussy like a vice. The vice broke 1 x Okamoto 002 and 2 x Sagami 001's. She then said that as my condoms were all lousy .[/QUOTE]Dude, bring some lube with you. Those likely broke because she was dry. The girls normally have their own lube as well, but it's normally KY. I believe the condoms they pass out there are pre-lubed. That's why she hasn't had those tear. I recommend penchant premium lube (I don't know if you can find it in Indonesia though). That suck rocks! It gives the feeling of bare skin and you only have to use a little. KY is pretty much crap.

[QUOTE=Smoothy;1949937]This is hilarious! I think we have all experienced that at some point.[/QUOTE]And I thought I was a pioneer. Well that just adds to the day's disappointment.

Thanks for the lube tip. I'm sure the 001's are lightly lubed because there's some liquid in the capsule. Miss Vice was definitely wet after I finished DATY and she felt wet when the condoms broke but maybe not wet enough. Hydro 002's are not latex so you can only use water based lube. Lucky for once I read the instructions.

My question might have got lost before my FRs. Does any one know whether the taut torso'd Vietnamese podium dancer at Malioboro is as good on the bed as she is on the stage?

[QUOTE=Hilo77;1949544]As the great Larry David says, Good for you! Good for you.

You scrutinize the girls drinks carefully as she's trying to stick her tits in your face, and in return you get two or three minutes longer than I did. Good for you.

What you aren't getting, and which was rather the point of my post that you appear to have completely missed, is that you're not getting the best part of half an hour's dance, without caring what the girl's running up and then getting a 40 percent discount, which is what the gentleman I was referring to managed to achieve..[/QUOTE]Name-calling isn't helpful for the thread either. Nor is being unable to let things be. If you don't like what people post you are free to add them to your ignore list.

I'm sorry to note that you have become a lot less light-hearted than you were some years ago. Cheer up! You only live once.

Regards,

Ko.

[QUOTE=KoperenKlaas;1950349]
I'm sorry to note that you have become a lot less light-hearted than you were some years ago.

[/QUOTE]I think the general deterioration of mood in Jakarta the past few years (now, I wonder what that correlates with) is felt all over, including our quick on the keys pal. Though the combination of worn down and jaded and lack of practice in quick retorts and puns since the unfortunate death of the Jakarta Blok M site (those puns were the best part BTW) - well who would be as light on the feet now as back in the hey day not so long ago, when things were looking up in Jakarta (and not just when you looked down).

The newly established attack dogs around here don't help the mood either. And if anyone sees a camera crew hanging out at night in unusual or Bule attended areas. Run the other bloody way! Discreetly. And no I'm still only going to be carrying my passport to and from the airport.

Meanwhile, I do recommend you download Tinder for your phone or whatever, and give yourself RSI swiping right. Also download Fake GPS if you don't happen to be standing at ground zero or thereabouts. More quality and less expense (and far few twits) than seen on Twitter. Honourable mention for Badoo and Skout too.

Or you could drag out the expense account and head to BATs CJs Alexis and Malioboro, or act and pay like a local at FM1, Mangga Besar pretty much, well anywhere, and a few others. Preferably after learning to speak just a tiny bit like a local. Language ability (or speed at using Google Translate) is inversely proportional to overall expense still. Think they're onto us foreign devils / easy marks at Classic and Travel though. Travel was great when it first opened not so long ago but I can't recall the last time I went, and that was just to use a room, not the in house 'facilities'.

It's getting meaner in the Big Durian, but fun is still to be had. Then again, if Hi Lo isn't getting Friday romps anymore like the photo stream of some years back proved, well I can understand being a bit less chipper these days!

[QUOTE=HungMan1808;1950636]Travel was great when it first opened not so long ago[/QUOTE]I first visited the girls at Hotel Travel back in 2001. And for sure it had been open quite a while before then. How long have you been in Jakarta to think that wasn't so long ago? Haha.

By the way, who were you on the old blokm site?

[QUOTE=KoperenKlaas;1950349]I'm sorry to note that you have become a lot less light-hearted than you were some years ago. .[/QUOTE]No I think I am just as light-hearted as I used to be and like Smoothy, Menteng and Hungman I too was a regular at the Rev's old site, which was a place many of the new posters should visit to see how discussing this hobby can be done in style, informatively and with good humor.

My recent sense of humor failure was related to the obvious bitchiness (if this gets censored too for being argumentative then so be it) that has crept in here. I am not alone, I know several other regular posters who are fed up with the niggling back-biting and pissing competitions that some posters here seem to be determined to carry on.

Arguments over taxi ranks and visa queues FFS, I ask you?

I posted a long and what I considered interesting article about what I think may have been a phenomenon unknown to many of the bule posters here, that if you have the brass neck you can actually haggle the bill with the sexy dancers at Classic. Now maybe everyone already knew that, perhaps I am a naive newbie (I doubt it) but it was something I thought might be of interest to other posters here and decided to take the time to share it.

First response? A snarky reply in which the poster wanted to show that he was oh-so clever and more knowledgeable than me and how he was never fooled like I was. A response that so spectacularly missed the point I had taken the effort to make that I responded in irritation, and perhaps haste.

But listen guys if you want to turn what was once an interesting, good-humored and informative forum where knowledge, suggestions and experiences were freely exchanged in a collegiate spirit, well have at it, it's not the place I'm interested in remaining, and judging by the precipitate decline in posters and posts in recent months I am certain that I am not alone.

[QUOTE=Hilo77;1950949]No I think I am just as light-hearted as I used to be and like Smoothy, Menteng and Hungman I too was a regular at the Rev's old site, which was a place many of the new posters should visit to see how discussing this hobby can be done in style, informatively and with good humor.

My recent sense of humor failure was related to the obvious bitchiness (if this gets censored too for being argumentative then so be it) that has crept in here. I am not alone, I know several other regular posters who are fed up with the niggling back-biting and pissing competitions that some posters here seem to be determined to carry on.

Arguments over taxi ranks and visa queues FFS, I ask you?

I posted a long and what I considered interesting article about what I think may have been a phenomenon unknown to many of the bule posters here, that if you have the brass neck you can actually haggle the bill with the sexy dancers at Classic. Now maybe everyone already knew that, perhaps I am a naive newbie (I doubt it) but it was something I thought might be of interest to other posters here and decided to take the time to share it..[/QUOTE]I knew the Blok M chronicles. See PM.

[QUOTE=CharlesDickin;1949707]Short version.

Same podium girl as last time but lower scores this time for very very bad breath and general lack of hygiene.

Long version.

Anticipating that the Price Police will have already written how I'm over paying at Malioboro I set out with the intentions of trying the cheaper end of the market.....[/QUOTE]Nice reports Charles Dickin.

[QUOTE=Hilo77;1950949]I posted a long and what I considered interesting article about what I think may have been a phenomenon unknown to many of the bule posters here, that if you have the brass neck you can actually haggle the bill with the sexy dancers at Classic. Now maybe everyone already knew that, perhaps I am a naive newbie (I doubt it) but it was something I thought might be of interest to other posters here and decided to take the time to share it.[/QUOTE]Don't let the idiots get to you. That was a cool story and very interesting. Makes me think maybe I am not pushing the girls hard enough to earn their drinks.

I went to Classic Bunker the other day and there was a dancer I loved. What a firm body on that girl! I only bought her a couple of drinks, but I was very tempted to take her to the room for 1. 2 million.

[QUOTE=Smoothy;1950838]I first visited the girls at Hotel Travel back in 2001. And for sure it had been open quite a while before then. [/QUOTE]I suppose you could class the remodel about a decade ago as a re-open. Well I presume it was done up, I do recalls some photos on here of the old Travel.

The fact I referred to a decade as not long ago and considered a remodel as a new open is starting to worry me!

And I've always been, well er, Hung.

[QUOTE=HungMan1808;1951279]I suppose you could class the remodel about a decade ago as a re-open. Well I presume it was done up, I do recalls some photos on here of the old Travel.

The fact I referred to a decade as not long ago and considered a remodel as a new open is starting to worry me!

And I've always been, well er, Hung.[/QUOTE]That's true. I think that renovation was around 2005.

I just tried to log into that old blokm site and it appears the forum is gone. Too bad, we had some good discussions on there. It does still have the photos though. I just looked at the old Lintas Melawai photos, and they brought back some memories. Those had to have been taken before digital cameras. That place was awesome. Many good hours spent in there.