General Reports

[QUOTE=Evil Penivel]It's also a very quick way to get yourself kicked to death by a group of Thais. More than one foreigner has gone home as ashes in an urn because, in the eyes of Thais, he insulted Buddha or the king.[/QUOTE]There is some irony to be savored in the perpetrators of such violence not comprehending the lese majeste implicit in their own actions. And kicking someone to death for Buddha is comparable to torturing someone for Jesus.

In other news, Bangers seems kind of dead at the moment. I normally expect town to be a bit busier in August, but my mates and I had Midnight (Cowboy) nearly to ourselves not long after midnight. Not too bad, really, but it is nice to have a few other punters around to take the pressure off, otherwise it feels like everybody's talkin' at me. None of the lay-dees bore much scrutiny, unfortunately (although it does, nonetheless, save me money). Don't even seem to be that many Yamatoans fleeing the heat of their sweltering archipelago (37C in Tokyo yesterday). Is it unusually slow around town or is it my imagination?

Correct, it isn't a good idea to start an anti-monarchist revolution in a Thai movie theatre. Also, if you ever happen to meet the King in person, remember to address him correctly: Of course you can't call him by his name, but something like 'His Majesty' won't do either. The traditional way is not to directly address the King in his presence at all; instead you're supposed to refer to 'the dust beneath the august sole of your august feet'. Not that it's very likely that you'll have a chance to use that phrase, though ... ;)

YY

[QUOTE=Yin Yang]if you ever happen to meet the King in person, remember to address him correctly[/QUOTE]YY,

I highly doubt that one could ever "Happen" to meet the king, it is virtually impossible for you to ever meet the king in person.

I am of course speaking of an official encounter, where let's say you would be allowed to come within screaming distance to his majesty.

Just make sure you respect the Pictures, Anthems, Theatre Tribute Videos and the likes, I will guarantee you you will be fine.

On the subject of the BTS anthem (daily played at 8am and 6pm) I can see why some Farangs would not stop upon hearing it. I see Thais (daily) who continue walking while the Anthem is playing.

[QUOTE=NicFrenchy]YY,

I highly doubt that one could ever "Happen" to meet the king, it is virtually impossible for you to ever meet the king in person.
...[/QUOTE]NicFrenchy,

No, no, no, it is not impossible to meet the King. You have NO IDEA how many of the guests of Livingstone's have met the King !?! Many. A lot. Huge numbers!!!!

Some of them even showed me the presents the King gave to them! The presents the King gave to them. Yes! Yes, really. All Farang.

I am the only one who NEVER MET the King! What the hell is wrong with me?

BTW: I met Thaksin (really!). I am from hell, for sure :(:(:( .


Giotto

[QUOTE=Retired Army]Are you trying to call from Thailand or from outside the country?[/QUOTE]I was calling from outside Thailand.

As it turns out while my bank did charge me for the attempted ATM withdrawals of 19G baht that gave me no money, they also did reimburse me for the same on the same day. If I had examined the bank statements this should have been obvious and saved me quite a bit of trouble.

Giotto,

I don't believe a word. Even if the King handed out any presents to his visitors, they probably wouldn't be the kind of things desired by the typical Livingstone's customer!

And if you actually met Thaksin, why didn't he recruit you for the Man C team then? We all know you'd have the legs for that - and maybe you'd have more success on the pitch than at the pool table :)

YY

[QUOTE=Yin Yang]...
I don't believe a word. Even if the King handed out any presents to his visitors, they probably wouldn't be the kind of things desired by the typical Livingstone's customer!

And if you actually met Thaksin, why didn't he recruit you for the Man C team then? We all know you'd have the legs for that - and maybe you'd have more success on the pitch than at the pool table :)
..
[/QUOTE]Yin Yang,

You don't believe me? I never lie :):(:) !

Presents: Usually Thai silk shirts, Thai gold, other gems, golden watches (!) . I don't know whether the Livingstone's customers can use it or not...

Man C - shit, it was a business meeting. Years ago. And then afterwards some other meetings because we know each other. And - I AM OLD! I have the sexy knees from Rumminigge, for sure!!! But - I am too old for Man C, as well as Rumminigge .

BTW: Was I so bad at the pool table :) ?


Giotto

[QUOTE=NicFrenchy]YY,

I highly doubt that one could ever "Happen" to meet the king, it is virtually impossible for you to ever meet the king in person.[/QUOTE]


I used to live right next to the Royal Palace in Hua Hin. So, we were neighbours.

But...

He never came over for coffee, always avoided weekend BBQs and generally was pretty stand-offish.

I did see him in the distance once, sailing his boat. I shouted, "Yo, King!!" But, he never responded.

So, yes, it is hard to meet the King.

Meeting the King is not as hard as you might think. It happened to me simply because I stopped loving my dog.

I know it's not normal for a falang to stop loving his dog, but after living in Thailand for a couple of years it's hard to avoid emulating their society.

As with most falang men, the first step in emulating Thai society is to get yourself a girlfriend or two. After that comes the wives and the mia noi's and it wasn't until I had my first wife and my first mia noi that the slow downhill spiral began.

Most people don't know this, but the reason why there are so many stray dogs in Thailand is because the average man has a wife and at least one mia noi.

After a man has the pressure of a wife and a mia noi or two on his back for a while, he begins to do things he thought he'd never do. And one of those things is taking all the pressure and misfortune of his wives and mia noi's out on his dog.

Believe me! It's true! My wife was f-u-c-k-i-n-g some other man and all my mia noi's were asking for more money. One day the pressure of it all became so unbearable I thought my dog was laughing at me.

So I slapped him across the face and kicked him in the ribs just before kicking him in the a-s-s while screaming at the top of my lungs, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out b-i-t-c-h!"

The next day I was incredibly sad. I couldn't believe I'd kicked my dog out on the street. My best friend, (man's best friend), was alone without shelter or food because my d-i-c-k had d-i-c-k-t-a-t-ed the course of my life and the course of my vengeance.

I began to cry as I edged toward my balcony and climbed up on the rail. I was contemplating the feeling of bone crushing into cement when a long black Mercedes limousine parked on the street below me. A small man climbed out of the limo with my dog in his arms. I was overjoyed!

I jumped from the rail and ran across my apartment. Just as I reached the front door my phone rang. It was the receptionist calling to tell me I had a visitor and ask if it would be all right if she sent him up. "Yes ma'am, please do", is all I remember saying before hanging up the phone.

The little man shoved a piece of paper in my hand and asked if he could come inside. I looked at the paper and it was the paper I had put into my dog's dog collar. After all, even though I kicked my dog out on the street, I was still a falang. And all falang (or most of us), put our dog's name and address in a little capsule that is attached to their collar.

The little man informed me that my dog was now the KING'S dog. And then he said, "HOWEVER, THE KING IS A VERY GENEROUS AND LOVING MAN, therefore, HE has extended an invitation to you to see your ex-dog whenever you like. Just come to the Grand Palace with this card." And he thrust a card in my hand without saying another word.

I looked at the card in awe. It had the KING'S royal seal on it. I was so dumbfounded that I didn't realize the small man was gone until I heard the elevator bell ring. I looked up just in time to see him vanish.

As it turns out, the night I kicked my dog out on the street is the very night THE KING OF THAILAND decided he needed a new dog. The KING wanted to make a statement when choosing a new dog, so he chose a stray dog off the street. In fact, he chose my dog!

I still have my wife, but I've gotten rid of all my mia noi's and life is much better now. Me and my wife can visit my dog (I mean our dog) whenever we want and we are happy together.

In the end, I just have two things to say:

1) It's not as hard as you might think to meet the KING

2) No one can love you unless they love your dog, including yourself!

:)

poster . . .

Poster,

Drugs aren’t doing you any good, you should stop taking them, especially this last one, whatever you took before typing these latest badly written ramblings.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that your posts when sober are well written, I just mean that when on drugs they are even worse, which is a lot to say.

Last, but not least, it would be best to leave the King out of your drunken fantasies when posting – some guys here post and read from the field, and my guess is that they would like to continue doing so.

[QUOTE=PosterLion] ... In the end, I just have two things to say:

1) It's not as hard as you might think to meet the KING

2) No one can love you unless they love your dog, including yourself!

:)

poster . . .[/QUOTE]

Marvelous piece of fiction, Poster, and, as usual, wonderful writing style leading to a moral of the story which is timeless and abosolutely true. (I know you are not the type of guy who could kick a dog.) BTW -- mine will be flying with me in the cabin on Thai Airways this coming October all the way to LOS where we will retire together in paradise. I wouldn't trade him for a king's ransom, and if he doesn't like a pooying I bring home, HER ass will be kicked out the door to the curb. :)

Regards,
Daddy

P.S. Don't listen to Gladiator. He's just jealous and doesn't appreciate dogs.

Daddy,

Thanks . . . I have not had a dog since I was 11 years old. My story was and is indeed, fiction.

Gladiator,

You're obviously talkin' out your ass as usual, because I can see you have no idea what life on drugs is like.

That said, I've been off drugs since February 22nd, 2007. That story is indeed, not fiction.

cheers mates!

poster . . .

Poster,

I know the ‘story’, as you call it, was just one more of your brain farts - druggies lack the necessary commitment to have a dog.

My point was that, after a couple of years without reading anything from you, I expected your writing skills to be more polished, which doesn’t seem to be the case. Not to mention the desperate use of Him for a higher, though unsuccessful, literary impact.

[QUOTE=Gladiator]Poster, ... I know the ‘story’, as you call it, was just one more of your brain farts - [/QUOTE]

The brain farts of an artist are as gold when compared to the brainless brass of his critic.

Got this from a friend over the internet. Up to you to decide if it is credible or not.

Greetings:
Everyday reading the local paper and Bangkok News at breakfast is an adventure in reading how a country can shoot ones self in the foot and wonder why their bleeding:

Bangkok Post Reports: that the controlling military government paid 100 to 300 Thai Baht per person for 10,000's of thousands of Thai's they truck to Bangkok to demonstrate "FOR" the new constitution to be voted on in 2 weeks ......hmmmmmm, the very reason the coupe was held almost a year ago was to outs corruption and those that paid for votes for a certain party. History repeats is self and very quickly now with thee opposition party !!!!

Bangkok Post Reports: The common Thai's know little or nothing about the constitution they are voting about, yet are being told if they do not cast a vote they loss their right to vote in the future. hmmmmm, very democratic !!

Bangkok Post Reports: There is no other option but a "YES" or "NO" vote as to whether, Thai's except this constitution written by the Military leadership that over threw a democracy 11 months ago..... Take it or leave it !!! IF....the vote is "NO"...then there shall be no voting to elect a Prim Minister or government in the future. ...hmmmmmm! Talk about putting a gun to one's head!!

Pattaya Mail Reports: Police now have thee authority to, without a search warrant or court order ......go into any home, business or anywhere and take any or all computers. If they do not like what they find on ones computer, you could be jailed up to 3 years and a 100,000 Baht fine. Will they torture us to get our password to our e-mail address ????

Pattaya Mail Reports: Government censorship of tech messaging, e-mails and all communications. I, and others here, have had some research on the web blocked and some emails blocked. Can you say:"Hale Hitler!!"

Pattaya Mail Reports: The rules now governing any foreign workers to include volunteer and aid workers, as so strict, regulated and time consuming to adhere to, that most companies and/or agencies empolying or having foreigners at their establishments will not wish to endue the addition expense and scrutiny by the government and thus remove and foreign help, aid workers, and/or employees.

Today: I drove by 2 dear friends, that are English gentleman, having separate businesses in Jomtien, but on 1 small street. They had clean wonderful little restaurants and nice Thai wifes and 2-4 Thai's working for them each....both have closed shop in just the last day ...and businesses are up for sale, but no one shall buy. ....and that is JUST on my small street to the beach. Other streets have ...same-same happening. There is becoming a mass exit of good people due to very questionable governement hatred for foreigners..... The common Thai people love foreigners, but the government wishes to shift the focus off them and their mistakes ...and blame foreigners for all their wooo's.

Many, many good, hard working and loyal Thai's are recently without employment, or soon to be without employment, factories are closing down, tourism is off by 40%, and foriegners scrambling to sell and cut their looses before the preverble hand wrting on the wall hits harder. AND..that is all fact not embellished. Pattatya Mail today is full of businesses up for sale, (more then triple 3 weeks ago) ....some of which boast good profits, but owners are jumping ship. The manure is hitting the fan just as it did in Haiti 12-15 years ago. .....when will anyone learn from history and stop shooting themsleves in the foot?

Haiti had a reasonably good thing for a while with some tourism, some factories. although admittedly, light years behind Thailand, but they in Haiti drove it all away and now only caose rules. Although, this is years later and a more modern country here in Thailand .....forcing the hand the feeds you (tourists, foreign investment, foriegn businesses and aid workers) to go away, is not the answer......Frankly, it is going to create a huge problem and I believe what we are wittnessing is the start of the downfall of a wonderful, wondeful country with the most caring, gracious and loving people ....and beginning of many years of suffering and heartache for the common Thai ahead.

IF....you do not think this effects you where you live.... remember what Dr. Martin Luther King once said:

"Injustice anywhere, is: Injustice everywhere!!"

If there are any of you wishing to visit Thailand, come now!! (actually, now to December is the best weatherwise and pricewise to tour Thailand) You shall see all the sights, meet the most loving & caring people, spend hopefully 2 days next door touring Angkor Wat only a hours flight away and cheap to visit, plus you can do all in relative peace, but if things continue....as they have been, then in 6 months, or soon there after, you may not wish to visit.

"life is an adventure" ...to which a very dear & loving Missionary reminds me ...so come join the thee excitment, before you look back and wished you had.