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Send More Money
I am happy that this topic is being discussed here right now because I was just online talking to a lady friend of mine in Bangkok. Her sister just married a guy from the USA last month. She is 33 years old. Non-pro. I can say that I heard it first on ISG. Guys keep sending your money if you want to. Same game different day. Here is our convo:
(F) L (L) says (12:44 AM):
I REALLY PITTY DANIEL
mrenternational says (12:44 AM):
why?
(F) L (L) says (12:44 AM):
MY YOUNG SISTER NOT HONEST TO HIM
mrenternational says (12:44 AM):
what she say?
(F) L (L) says (12:44 AM):
SHE HAVE THAI MAN TOO
mrenternational says (12:45 AM):
normal. thai woman always do same like that
(F) L (L) says (12:45 AM):
HEY NOT ME. IM NOT LIKE THAT. but alots of thai women like that
mrenternational says (12:47 AM):
what else she do?
(F) L (L) says (12:48 AM):
daniel send money she give money to thai bf
mrenternational says (12:49 AM):
yes. normal for thai girl to do that
(F) L (L) says (12:49 AM):
not me. im honest
(F) L (L) says (1:06 AM):
can i ask u something?
mrenternational says (1:07 AM):
tell me
(F) L (L) says (1:08 AM):
do u think i have to tell daniel or let him find out ?
mrenternational says (1:09 AM):
let him find out. do not say anything
(F) L (L) says (1:09 AM):
ok. she stay with thai bf every night. she talk with daniel morning 9 am and evening 8pm then gone to her thai bf room. i ask her why u do like that
mrenternational says (1:15 AM):
what she say?
(F) L (L) says (1:15 AM):
she said she like. i hope daniel will open his eyes head soon
(F) L (L) says (1:34 AM):
******,
What happened to my wife? I tried to talk with her today I could not. Her phone finally got turned off. She is not on line for me to chat with. Have u seen her? Is she ok? Am very worried. I love her mak mak. Tell her to call me.
Daniel
(F) L (L) says (1:34 AM):
i cant help him
(F) L (L) says (1:34 AM):
like you said let him find out by him self
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[QUOTE=Barko]Whatever you say.
We had a 350 square meter house on 10 Rai with an unadulterated view of 30 kilometers of rice fields & Doi Suthep, 3 cars, and traveled to the US, China, Japan & Europe together. She was a university professor probably still is, whelped from a wealthy Chinese family, spoke 9 languages. And me, well OK sure, like you said, I was just a stupid fucking idiot.
Different train of thought here from what you may have assumed perhaps. ;)
At any rate, our relationship reflected the realities of the modernist 20th Century educated couple in Asia.[/QUOTE]
Yes, a very atypical situation compared to the common story you hear. But, it begs the question: why were you giving her so much money, if she came from such a well-to-do background?
Or, am I missing something?
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[QUOTE=Old Thai Hand]Yes, a very atypical situation compared to the common story you hear. But, it begs the question: why were you giving her so much money, if she came from such a well-to-do background?
Or, am I missing something?[/QUOTE]Nope, you aren't missing anything. That is precisely the point.
I was shooting her a $2000+ USD monthly allowance (she made shit money as a teacher, but she seriously enjoyed the "ajahn" family face recognition factor) and soon I found that the money would disappear as fast as it was going into her bank account.
She was a Chinese blooded Thai, attractive, extremely high maintenance, and very caught up in the entire Hi-so thing. She lent money, bought tons of insanely useless baroque looking crap that I hated, was involved with so much local polysocial bullshit stuff that she was spending more time with her richy richy fucking old kindergarten girlfriends than she was me. I too had my own sphere of influence, more on the International level, and the juxtaposition of the intersection points with her had essentially dwindled into a virtual vacuum. Then, finally, the two of us simply became like oil and water, we just didn't mix. The relationship lasted six years, but it was indeed long enough. And yes, it was a long long time ago now.
I don't think she had another guy, even though over the years a few of her male students and some profs hit on her with some seriousness, but she didn't seem to try to hide anything really.
During my time with her, I learned a lot about the social levels and inner workings of the Thais, the way they manipulate and double deal, the way they sandbag on important issues, and the way they lie with abandon. But, I also did find, however, that they do it to themselves just as much as they they to it to farangs, if not more.
Now I wince a bit about it when I hear other guys trying to salvage their lives and getting themselves to a point of being able to move on. I try to turn a kind ear. I also throw up a great big red flag when I hear of someone about to fall into the pit.
Yeah, so, I basically went out that front door with my passport, my wallet, briefcase, the suit of clothes on my back, and the remains of what little pride I had left. I had essentially decided to give her everything, she just wasn't going to get the allowance to blow any more. No more of my money to fiddle fuck away.
And yeah, I had no idea at the time that I was really never going back, but I knew I wasn't going to find myself fighting with her family, haggling in and out of court over useless shit I really didn't want, nor was I going to waste my time listening to her trying to tell me that it was all my fault.
I just woke up one day, decided enough was enough, and walked.
I also said never ever again.
[size=-2][b][u]EDITOR'S NOTE[/u]:[/b] [blue]I would suggest that the author or another Forum Member consider posting a link to this report in the Reports of Distinction thread. Please [url=http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/announcement-reportsofdistinction.php?]Click Here[/url] for more information.[/blue][/size]
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OTH,
The more one has the greater the expense to keep what you have. Barko had a lot since he use the word "WE" I assume he purchase most of the items he mentioned. As you well know being a professor doesn't make you rich so I'm thinking she was no more than middle class maybe that explains why he was giving 80,000 baht a month.
Just a wild guess? LBM
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[QUOTE=LittleBigMan]OTH,
The more one has the greater the expense to keep what you have. Barko had a lot since he use the word "WE" I assume he purchase most of the items he mentioned. As you well know being a professor doesn't make you rich so I'm thinking she was no more than middle class maybe that explains why he was giving 80,000 baht a month.
Just a wild guess? LBM[/QUOTE]
Obviously, in cases like this, each one is unique. I've known quite a few guys in a similar situation, who didn't spend that much.
As I said before, my gf is middle class. I usually gave her only 7500/month and never gave her more than 10,000. But, she lived with me and I paid all the household expenses, which I suppose should be taken into account, as well. But, even then it was never more than another 30,000 to run the house.
In both his case and mine, at least we weren't chumps living abroad sending tons of money to someone we weren't even with.
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[QUOTE=Old Thai Hand]If you always limit yourself to poor Isaan girls of one type or another, you're doomed to repeat the money cycle and the accompanying pain involved, over and over and over again.[/QUOTE]
Well, if a guy is intent on hooking up "long time" (more than week) with a girl from Isaan, I would recommend at least finding a nice Khmer girl. There is much better chance, though certainly no guarantee, that she'll at least have a soul (by which I mean she might not be a total sociopath).
As to the fascination of some other guys with the "hi-so" (what a contemptible arriviste locution) Teochew chickies, I really don't get it, other than the possibility that, having internalized the prejudices of modern Thai society, the company of the pale-skinned Thai Eloi relieves somewhat the sense of self-loathing that accompanies the perpetual outsiderdom of the permanent farang resident- "Look at me, I'm connected, I'm accepted." What's the difference between the Benz-flaunting whiter-than-Caucasian Thai rentier class and their Isaan slaves? The former have more money, plus the good manners to pick their noses in private (usually) and chew with their mouths closed (maybe a bit less than usually); good luck finding any difference in terms of morality, honesty, or empathy. They represent nothing more than the opposite ends of the income spectrum in a society staunchly proud of its inherent corruption and violence; scratch through the veneer, be it brand-name sophistication or charmingly insouciant vulgarity, and in either case find a tribalistic mercenary cryptofascist imp beneath.
So what choices does that leave the farang foolishly seeking something real in the Land of Illusion? (Leave aside the pointlessness of such attempts.) In my case, good fortune, although it has not always felt that way, has entrusted me to the care of a tall, very dark, square-shouldered, straight-nosed, emotionally uncomplicated, fiercely loyal, darkly jealous central Thai. She's the dedicated mother of our child, a mink in the sack, and a sorceress in the kitchen, intellectually curious yet more than a bit simple, with no fear of hard work and no concept of money management. She comes from a farming family with ample land, reliable crops, and never enough cash in a village of solid teak houses near the center of what I call the 3-P Triangle of Phitsanulok, Petchabun, and Phichit. Her family's treatment of me is diffident at best (that would also describe my own treatment of them), but there is no question that our half-caste child is a beloved member of their family. Our five years together, with the occasional crack-up and reconciliation, has been an education for both of us. I don't know how I would advise someone wishing to duplicate my somewhat dubious "success", and not sure how I would proceed were I miraculously offered a do-over. I know I would have been very unlikely to find such a deeply proud woman dancing in a bar or working as a hostess, which is not to say that she wouldn't have happily married for money or even settled for a mia noi role had the proper terms been on offer before she met me.
I'm not saying it is impossible to meet sincerely nice women in bars here, but to expect a girl from that setting to stop seeing you as a mark is akin to believing the used car salesman is your friend because you've had a beer or two together; he might honestly think you're a great guy when he is taking your money, but he is still not going to mention the cracked engine block. If you fall in love with one of the local pros by all means savor the emotion to the fullest, but take a cue from locals and find some detachment as true Buddhist would. Parting is sweet sorrow, much, much sweeter than the sorrow awaiting those don't depart. And here is some advice to those thinking of sending money post-departure; consider folding your $100 bills/50-pound notes into little paper airplanes and tossing them from a high window. Watching your money soar away on the wind is surely more thrilling than transmitting it down a wire, and brightening the day of anonymous passerby is at least as satisfying as buying a new TV for a mother in Isaan and keeping "uncle's" Mekong supply stocked up.
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[QUOTE=Sanook D]Well, if a guy is intent on hooking up "long time" (more than week) with a girl from Isaan, I would recommend at least finding a nice Khmer girl. There is much better chance, though certainly no guarantee, that she'll at least have a soul (by which I mean she might not be a total sociopath).
As to the fascination of some other guys with the "hi-so" (what a contemptible arriviste locution) Teochew chickies, I really don't get it, other than the possibility that, having internalized the prejudices of modern Thai society, the company of the pale-skinned Thai Eloi relieves somewhat the sense of self-loathing that accompanies the perpetual outsiderdom of the permanent farang resident- "Look at me, I'm connected, I'm accepted." What's the difference between the Benz-flaunting whiter-than-Caucasian Thai rentier class and their Isaan slaves? The former have more money, plus the good manners to pick their noses in private (usually) and chew with their mouths closed (maybe a bit less than usually); good luck finding any difference in terms of morality, honesty, or empathy. They represent nothing more than the opposite ends of the income spectrum in a society staunchly proud of its inherent corruption and violence; scratch through the veneer, be it brand-name sophistication or charmingly insouciant vulgarity, and in either case find a tribalistic mercenary cryptofascist imp beneath.
So what choices does that leave the farang foolishly seeking something real in the Land of Illusion? (Leave aside the pointlessness of such attempts.) In my case, good fortune, although it has not always felt that way, has entrusted me to the care of a tall, very dark, square-shouldered, straight-nosed, emotionally uncomplicated, fiercely loyal, darkly jealous central Thai. She's the dedicated mother of our child, a mink in the sack, and a sorceress in the kitchen, intellectually curious yet more than a bit simple, with no fear of hard work and no concept of money management. She comes from a farming family with ample land, reliable crops, and never enough cash in a village of solid teak houses near the center of what I call the 3-P Triangle of Phitsanulok, Petchabun, and Phichit. Her family's treatment of me is diffident at best (that would also describe my own treatment of them), but there is no question that our half-caste child is a beloved member of their family. Our five years together, with the occasional crack-up and reconciliation, has been an education for both of us. I don't know how I would advise someone wishing to duplicate my somewhat dubious "success", and not sure how I would proceed were I miraculously offered a do-over. I know I would have been very unlikely to find such a deeply proud woman dancing in a bar or working as a hostess, which is not to say that she wouldn't have happily married for money or even settled for a mia noi role had the proper terms been on offer before she met me.
I'm not saying it is impossible to meet sincerely nice women in bars here, but to expect a girl from that setting to stop seeing you as a mark is akin to believing the used car salesman is your friend because you've had a beer or two together; he might honestly think you're a great guy when he is taking your money, but he is still not going to mention the cracked engine block. If you fall in love with one of the local pros by all means savor the emotion to the fullest, but take a cue from locals and find some detachment as true Buddhist would. Parting is sweet sorrow, much, much sweeter than the sorrow awaiting those don't depart. And here is some advice to those thinking of sending money post-departure; consider folding your $100 bills/50-pound notes into little paper airplanes and tossing them from a high window. Watching your money soar away on the wind is surely more thrilling than transmitting it down a wire, and brightening the day of anonymous passerby is at least as satisfying as buying a new TV for a mother in Isaan and keeping "uncle's" Mekong supply stocked up.[/QUOTE]
Nicely put.
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what poor Thais do
If you born into a poor Thai family as a guy, you will either:
-sell drugs
-rob something or someone
-become a cabbie in Bkk to rob tourist or make measly commission convincing them to go to B-rated massage parlors, expensive seafood restaurants with bad food, and/or jewelry shop
-you will try to convince tourists that you're their friend by recommending that they buy gems at lower prices and making big money by selling the rocks for a profit in their home country
-you will introduce your pretty cousin from issan to your new tourist friends. Of course your "cousin" charges 3000B to spend the night, but you tell the tourist it cost 6000B.
If you are born as a girl in a poor Thai family, you will
-sell your body in a go-go bar, massage parlors
-fall in love with a loser Thai guy and give him money that you made on your back
-lie to your many sponsors, stating how much you love each one
-try to convince yourself that your "customer" is your lover
-bring your farang bf to issan and convince him to build you a house. You give the land and he has to build the house. It only seems fair..50/50 , right.
-tell your farang boyfriend that your Thai BF is your Brother / Cousin / Uncle
-send money back home to your parents, who will spend in on lucky numbers and Thai whisky
-pay for a Male prostitute to fuck you to make you feel like a pretty woman. ( sleeping with hairy old farangs everyday can be a little depressing).
-you will have one or two customers who really cares, but they will figure out the lies sooner or later.
-when your time is up at the bar. You will be force to stand on the street ( Suk) or under a coconut tree ( Pattaya).
Overall life is tough in a 3rd world country, where there are a bunch of temples and monks. Boys and girls go to school in uniforms and are taught not to lie and steal. But hey the Thais have to eat, too.
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[QUOTE=Andybkk]
Overall life is tough in a 3rd world country, where there are a bunch of temples and monks. Boys and girls go to school in uniforms and are taught not to lie and steal. But hey the Thais have to eat, too.[/QUOTE]
You left out...end up working in a beauty parlour, or becoming a mammasan (if shrewd enough).
You're wrong. In, fact boys and girls are taught, at least indirectly that it's perfectly acceptable to lie and steal. It's central to the culture, whether rich or poor.
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[quote=old thai hand]you left out. end up working in a beauty parlour, or becoming a mammasan (if shrewd enough).
you're wrong. in, fact boys and girls are taught, at least indirectly that it's perfectly acceptable to lie and steal. it's central to the culture, whether rich or poor.[/quote]correct. cheating, lying, pilfering (beginning with stealing shoes in school) is key to survival here. there is no understanding of "if/then" whatsoever. period.
oth and oah, can i ask you a question?
i mean i am about as caustic as they come as far as discussing thai people, i agree with both of you most of the time, but you guys both really do take the cake.
i know it's none of my business, so consider this purely as a hypothetical, no answer required, but: what in the holy fuck are you doing here?
did you lose all your dough on a bad roulette spin in vegas, are you running from the heat/boogie man/ex-wife in your home countries, or do you just love being bummed out and want to intimidate others into joining your company of pissed old fucks? at some point along the line have you looked into the possibilities, of say, malaysia or cambodia?
you sound like those geriatric walk-up apartment shut-ins in boston, sneakily peeping out their lace window curtains at 3:30pm and swearing under their breath at the jr high kids coming home from school every day. you know what? those kids can see you, they really can. guys, something else you should know, and doctors will tell you this. you get a brain tumor from that shit.
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But considering some of the scum US and European men you see in Bangkok, really poor gits who have, it seems, no education, no morals and no sense of respect, it can actually make you like the poor Thai's...........at least they are in general "nicer people" than some of the trash you see in Bangkok and Pattaya on "holiday".
[QUOTE=Andybkk]If you born into a poor Thai family as a guy, you will either:
-sell drugs
-rob something or someone
-become a cabbie in Bkk to rob tourist or make measly commission convincing them to go to B-rated massage parlors, expensive seafood restaurants with bad food, and/or jewelry shop
-you will try to convince tourists that you're their friend by recommending that they buy gems at lower prices and making big money by selling the rocks for a profit in their home country
-you will introduce your pretty cousin from issan to your new tourist friends. Of course your "cousin" charges 3000B to spend the night, but you tell the tourist it cost 6000B.
If you are born as a girl in a poor Thai family, you will
-sell your body in a go-go bar, massage parlors
-fall in love with a loser Thai guy and give him money that you made on your back
-lie to your many sponsors, stating how much you love each one
-try to convince yourself that your "customer" is your lover
-bring your farang bf to issan and convince him to build you a house. You give the land and he has to build the house. It only seems fair..50/50 , right.
-tell your farang boyfriend that your Thai BF is your Brother / Cousin / Uncle
-send money back home to your parents, who will spend in on lucky numbers and Thai whisky
-pay for a Male prostitute to fuck you to make you feel like a pretty woman. ( sleeping with hairy old farangs everyday can be a little depressing).
-you will have one or two customers who really cares, but they will figure out the lies sooner or later.
-when your time is up at the bar. You will be force to stand on the street ( Suk) or under a coconut tree ( Pattaya).
Overall life is tough in a 3rd world country, where there are a bunch of temples and monks. Boys and girls go to school in uniforms and are taught not to lie and steal. But hey the Thais have to eat, too.[/QUOTE]
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[QUOTE=Old Thai Hand]In, fact boys and girls are taught, at least indirectly that it's perfectly acceptable to lie and steal. It's central to the culture, whether rich or poor.[/QUOTE]Where do they learn this? In Thai Culture 101?
I assume that there are laws against theft in Thailand just as there is in every other nation on earth.
One day I was walking around with a bag that I forgot to zip and a Thai woman went out of her way to inform me of it rather than help herself to something inside.
In the laundry sent out from my hotel room I've forgotten some valuables in a pocket of my clothing and had them returned rather than stolen.
I've found store workers, like those in grocers and 7-11's, to be so honest that I don't bother to count my change anymore.
Even with all the P4P ladies who've cum to visit me, I can't recall any item ever being pinched, not even the most insignificant thing.
The maids who cleaned my rooms every day I'd trust with five figures. In fact, BTW, I've even had a P4P regular repay me the same.
It would not surprise me at all if theft is more rampant in the West.
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both old thai hand and andybkk are too cynical and jaded for their own good. if you are that disenchanted with thailand you have been here too long and it may be time to move on if you still have a country you can go back to. the thais are no worse than any other nationality and far better than some. it's a hard life in the sex trade and girls who don't grow a tough shell won't survive long. i don't live here, but have visited several times over the years and have lived in and visited many other poor countries in asia and africa. i have never met a working girl who tried to convince herself that any of the farang men she goes with love her. she knows the score. western men tend to treat women better than thai or indonesian or mongolian or kazakh or african men, and she knows that too.
i wouldn't want to be a prostitute and i wouldn't want my either of daughters to become one, and i know that life can be tough, especially at the lower end of the market (someplace few of us have ever been - ever seen the cages in mumbai or the truck stops on the south africa-zimbabwe border?). a lot of girls in thailand have no choice, having effectively been sold by their families to the bangkok pimps. the pay is low and the work can be hard. last week i was with a lovely girl in jakarta. of the $30 i paid the house, she got to keep $9. i gave her another $10 as a tip.
but working as a bar girl may be preferable to being married to a brute of a guy who [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord124][CodeWord124][/url] you and keeps you pregnant until your tits hang down to your knees and beats you when he is not out spending the money for the kids' food on women and drink. it's not the greatest set of choices in the world, but faced with a life like that i'm not sure i wouldn't start turning tricks. the girls form some true friendships among themselves, and some of the more enlightened bar owners and mamasans treat the girls reasonably well. as a farang client if you treat the girls with respect and tip them generously, you aren't making their lives worse and you may make them marginally better.
i have met a lot of local girls in a girlfriend-type relationship with farang men and have been in a few such relationships myself. i find that both parties get something positive out of it. the girl is treated well and gently and generously and the guy has someone who caters to his desires and takes care of him and can overlook his protruding belly and ear hair in a way that no american woman would. there is nothing sinister about this. it may not be love, but it ain't bad.
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[quote=joe friday 60]both old thai hand and andybkk are too cynical and jaded for their own good. if you are that disenchanted with thailand you have been here too long and it may be time to move on if you still have a country you can go back to. the thais are no worse than any other nationality and far better than some. it's a hard life in the sex trade and girls who don't grow a tough shell won't survive long. i don't live here, but have visited several times over the years and have lived in and visited many other poor countries in asia and africa. i have never met a working girl who tried to convince herself that any of the farang men she goes with love her. she knows the score. western men tend to treat women better than thai or indonesian or mongolian or kazakh or african men, and she knows that too.
i wouldn't want to be a prostitute and i wouldn't want my either of daughters to become one, and i know that life can be tough, especially at the lower end of the market (someplace few of us have ever been - ever seen the cages in mumbai or the truck stops on the south africa-zimbabwe border?). a lot of girls in thailand have no choice, having effectively been sold by their families to the bangkok pimps. the pay is low and the work can be hard. last week i was with a lovely girl in jakarta. of the $30 i paid the house, she got to keep $9. i gave her another $10 as a tip.
but working as a bar girl may be preferable to being married to a brute of a guy who [url=http://isgprohibitedwords.info?CodeWord=CodeWord124][CodeWord124][/url] you and keeps you pregnant until your tits hang down to your knees and beats you when he is not out spending the money for the kids' food on women and drink. it's not the greatest set of choices in the world, but faced with a life like that i'm not sure i wouldn't start turning tricks. the girls form some true friendships among themselves, and some of the more enlightened bar owners and mamasans treat the girls reasonably well. as a farang client if you treat the girls with respect and tip them generously, you aren't making their lives worse and you may make them marginally better.
i have met a lot of local girls in a girlfriend-type relationship with farang men and have been in a few such relationships myself. i find that both parties get something positive out of it. the girl is treated well and gently and generously and the guy has someone who caters to his desires and takes care of him and can overlook his protruding belly and ear hair in a way that no american woman would. there is nothing sinister about this. it may not be love, but it ain't bad.[/quote]
oth and andybkk are too cynical and jaded for their own good. you got that bit right. but the rest.....what relevance do the prostitution networks in mumbai and southern africa have to the ones in thailand? and families selling their offspring into prostitution in bangkok? do you have any proof of this? it never used to be like that, but i rarely punt there anymore.
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[quote=barko] you get a brain tumor from that shit.[/quote]
maybe or maybe not, actually sporadic ranting can be therapeutic. andy rooney has been ranting on 60 minutes for ages and it seems to have worked out well for him. however, i agree this is way over the top. what started off as honest analysis has turned into (falang and) thai bashing 101, to make matters worse, others are now joining the band. you just have to wonder where this is going and just what is the ultimate point of it as it relates to this sex board?
