Stages of an expats life in Thailand
[QUOTE=DRRonin]"So do you Mongers really want a real girlfriend with its responsibilities or not?"[/QUOTE]
After awhile, I think most do; at least those who take up permanent residence here.
There are several stages that one passes through here with regards to life and expecially Thai women.
Stage one is the fresh off the plane, go-crazy stage. As in my case, and the case of all my friends and just about every Farang I now, you get a job, get some digs in a Thai neighborhood and work for the weekend when you can go out and hit the bars. In the beginning, the GoGos, the freelancers, the MPs were all novel and new. By Thursday every week during the first year or so, we'd all be itching to "get on it" as an English friend of mine used to say. But, after about a year or two of this it begins to wear very thin. Admittedly, there are some guys who never get past stage one. I know a few who, after 10-15 years here are still going down to the bars every week on some mission. Most people I know view these guys as pathetic losers.
By the end of stage one, you enter stage two, do the usual and get yourself a GF from a bar. My first Thai GF came from Soi Cowboy, was from Udon Thani and had a gambling problem. We lasted barely five months. Looking at her picture now, I wouldn't go near her with a barge pole. She was pretty enough. But, she had an Isaan face and was quite dark; not my taste at all anymore. She was also psycho, as most P4P girls are, as one discovers after you get to know them a little.
If you're working here, you encounter a lot of regular TGs and realize that they are much nicer and certainly better looking than 90% of the P4P girls. So, you enter stage three; getting a regular TG, learning to speak Thai, getting into the culture more and generally learning to fit in. At the same time, your taste starts to change. This happens more radically for some, than others. But, generally, unless you're some low-class yob who bought a bar in Pattaya and married the first BG that you shagged, (a very common occurence, unfortunately), or moved to Nakhon Nowhere in Isaan and retired with your LBFM and a paltry pension, you move upscale towards a more Asian taste in women, i.e. Thai-Thai or Thai-Chinese.
Stage four is the settling into the long-term relationship and possibly marriage with a so-called "good, Thai girl". You seldom, if ever go to the bars anymore as you realize that most of those girls are incredibly ugly compared to what you have at home and more importantly, what is now available to you for extracurricular activity, if so inclined. As an aside, I live five minutes form Soi Cowboy. But, I rarely go there. I went for the first time in six months last weekend because a friend wanted to, for old times sake. Either the quality has changed, or I have. Probably it's a bit of both. The girls were with few exceptions, coyote ugly in our opinions. We both left and went home by 10 pm.
In any event, if you are at stage four and decide to "step out" on your GF/wife at all, its with a Gig of equal or better quality. In old parlance, this would be a mia noi. But, that is so old-fashioned, now. The new past-time with both sexes in Thailand is having a Gig; more than a friend, less than a lover. There's even a movie out now called "The Gig". If you have "gone native" to some extent, as I and most of my acquaintances have, this is where you'll ultimately end up: with a regular TG, at least middle-class, and a Gig on the side. You might occasionally go with a P4P girl for convenience. But, you'll find these experiences a little lacking and you'll be less and less inclined to do this as time passes. There are so many regular TGs to meet. Why bother with P4P?