US Customs: What's The Big Deal?
Hey Guys,
For me, U.S. Customs are a pain in the ass. I get searched every time I return to America these days. The drill goes something like this:
Q: You've been gone six (last time was nine) months?
A: Yep
Q: Do you have a job there?
A: Nope
Q: What do you do over there?
A: Live my life
At this point the guy (or girl) draws a big red slash on my Entrance Form and stamps my Passport.
Then I go and wait for my luggage. Upon trying to pass out of the baggage check the attendent looks at the red mark on my form and directs me to the evil baggage search area. I already know this is going to happen so I'm halfway turned around by the time the attendent returns my form.
The last time I ventured back to America in May it went like this with the evil baggage search attendent:
Q: Did you pack your bags yourself?
A: Yep
Q: Did anyone else handle your bags after you packed them?
A: Of course. I can't very well unload them from the plane can I?
Q: Do you have any illegal drugs or firearms?
Q: Why are you asking me these questions when it's obvious you're going to search my bags anyway?
A: We're doing it for your benefit.
My Response: Thank you so much for trying to help me sir. Now could you hurry up and get this over with and help me get on my way.
As he is searching my bags the man says, "Boy I wish I could take off for nine months like you."
"You should start saving your money now, then you can be treated like a criminal just like me."
He makes me turn on my laptop to make sure it's not a nuclear device. After that he searches my bag of toiletries and comes across a small ziplock bag with five yellow pills in it. "What are these?"
"Those are Tryptanol tablets."
"Are they prescription?"
"I have no idea. I bought them at a pharmacy in Thailand. I wanted a sleep aid and the pharmacist gave me these pills. He never gave me a prescription."
At this point his assistant snatches the tablets and runs off with them. Later he comes back and says everything's OK.
After I got home I noticed the b-a-s-t-a-r-d had shaved a small piece from one of the pills. I assume it was for some sort of analysis. Whatever.
Anyway, as I said, U.S. Customs are a pain in the ass. :)
poster . . .