Rants, Stupid Shit and Coronavirus in Thailand

[EverythingThai]

Everything Thai is a SFDAM. Short Fat Dumpy Angry Man. Hahaha. He spends half a day here?

If I triggered him by laughing at him for the 40 drink fiasco I'm Sorry I Hurt You bro. Hahaha. It was a joke.

No matter how many profiles you make UglyAzzam, Raj Patel, ElMexicant, and so on.. You will always be on moderation. It's a never ending cycle. One Tika Masala eating, cheap Charlie, gym rat, creep will always be on moderation. Can't figure out why you keep wasting your time to open a new profile. Now wait, here it comes. Are you ready?

"Listen up, genius. For someone who's apparently got it all figured out, you sure spend a lot of time getting smacked down by the guy you're obsessed with. And we both know you're so desperate to keep this tragic little act going, you've resorted to how many burner profiles now? You're like some washed-up wannabe star who just can't handle the rejection. Spoiler alert: if trolling around here all day, cycling through fake profiles, and whining about someone else's posts is your idea of success, you're in worse shape than I thought.

Maybe instead of ducking behind these profiles like some cowardly ghostwriter for your own pitiful insults, you could actually do something useful with your time like working on yourself. Shocking concept, I know. But here's another spoiler: this isn't looking good for you. So do us all a favor and put your big boy pants on. Either step up, grow up, or get out.

[I Knew Iy]

Everything Thai is a SFDAM. Short Fat Dumpy Angry Man. Hahaha. He spends half a day here?

If I triggered him by laughing at him for the 40 drink fiasco I'm Sorry I Hurt You bro. Hahaha. It was a joke.

[Explorer8939]

That's pretty harsh. You mean the thousands of Thai women who marry foreign men every year all do it for money?

That is true for a large percent, based on my experience.

It is common for Thai women to make an effort to love their Farang husband, but most fail.

If you want proof, go to the Darkside in Pattaya, and you will see thousands of Farangs hitting the bars because their Thai wife has told them that she cannot boom-boom any more. Of course, while the Farang is away at a bar, the Thai wife can see her kik, who lives down the road.

The greater the age difference in the couple, the greater the chances she's a money lady.

Getting back to this topic, I personally will not fuck a lady living with a Farang. I can't tell you how much self-control this requires, especially when the lady tells you "my Farang husband cannot boom-boom any more".

[Turgid]

......you aren't handsome and she doesn't love you. You're never going to be handsome and she's never going to love you.

That's pretty harsh. You mean the thousands of Thai women who marry foreign men every year all do it for money?

[SubCmdr]

Captain Oakie comes over from the Dominican Republic threads where he actually knows what he is talking about to troll me here in the Thailand threads a country he knows nothing about because he has never visited. And he accuses me of starting a cross county, cross thread flame war.

I have done nothing of the sort. He better be lookin in the mirror. This character thinks getting your dick sucked good in the Open Air Brothel known as Sosua is magical. This character is so dumb as to not realize there is only culture in the Dominican Republic (Dominican). So he is racist, blind or both.

So in other words, he is now posting here to continue his beef with me because I am now posting here. He knows nothing about Thailand (other than what he reads from others). This the only thread that he is posting in. Imagine if he actually visited Thailand and saw how much better it is over the Dominican Republic.. LOL!

For the record: I have ten years of boots on the ground living in the Dominican Republic. Longer than Captain Oakie. So this weird pursuit is more like a man crush that he has on me since I left him. This is only way to for him to stay connected to me.

How you like me now?

[ElMexicant]

This might be the best, maybe true, maybe fictional, story ever told. And besides, as dumb as ASG is was or is now, there can only be one who is even more dumb. They looked at SWIM and said, "Who?" SWIM smiled. Looked at the audience. Sipped his soda. Then answered, "The poor sap that replies. ".

Glad nobody replied. LOL. Really I still help identifying this South Park cartoon character. Thought it was Randy, but maybe not. His wife maybe?

[Nyezhov]

Oh, brilliant insight there, Captain Cynicism! Someone asks a real question, and this is what you bring to the table? "Vibrant city. Open air brothel." Wow, what a revelation! You must be exhausted from all that intellectual heavy lifting. Here's the thing buddy, this forum isn't your personal therapy session where you get to work out whatever bitterness is festering in that hollow head of yours. You contribute nothing but cheap shots and recycled pessimism. Maybe the reason you're so quick to bash everyone else's chances is that deep down, you know you don't stand one yourself. So unless you've got something useful to say, take a seat and let the adults talk.




Oh, so you've got bold opinions about Pattaya while you're sitting next door in Cambodia, of all places? You're judging Thailand from the country where washed-up lowlifes and wannabe expats end up when they've got nowhere else to go. Cambodia is where the bottom of the barrel scrapes itself, and you're actually trying to talk down about Pattaya? Spare me. You have not been to Pattaya for 10 years , yet you're out here running your mouth like you've got the inside track. Newsflash: Pattaya got more life, more energy, and more class in one street than the entire mess you're calling home right now. So maybe stick to commenting on what you know whatever that is because Pattaya and even all of Thailand is clearly out of your league.


All this over the last 2 days was like taking a shit. I was off work so passing the time until I can recoup for another T-Ded run. Now I will leave you all in the hands of ElMexicant the Mexican Indian cheap Charlie gym rat, creep and Nyezhov or should I say Fuck offvzzzz the Cambodian Prince who thinks he is living in Cambodian paradise.

ET out

What a sad hater LOL.

[Oakie]

No doubt! He is a racist, cross thread, cross country, foul mouthed troll that does nothing but post male bovine excrement across several different country threads. But he is a equal opportunity sphincter. Just like his racist friend Captain Oakie who he has not aligned with and taken the flame war to me in the Dominican Republic threads.

I was happy to stay in my own DR lane, but I see it pays to check up on your multi-national, cross continental shit show flame wars, you low life.

You obviously won't be invited to my next impromptu street birthday party thrown for me by my local Dominican neighbors and my local "wifey" of 8 eight years now, in a multiracial country where I am privileged to live and be accepted in the local community. This, for your own safety! LOL.

In mt long life of travel, living and working in many countries, while I have been called many things, you are the only one who ever referred to me as "racist". I understand it's "hail mary" that often works to end a losing argument, but it doesn't work with me.

Neither does your weird offer to quote [I]"I am waiting for you to drop the beef. Let me have my say about Sosua and you can have your say. Then we both just leave it alone. But if you wish to continue, please go ahead.[ / I].

(Post#173, DR Rants).

Matter of fact in my 15 years of Sosua posts I have only ever complained about white mongers who fuck things up back here! It's on the record for anybody who cares to check!

[EverythingThai]

For the price, this has to be the best thing ice cream deal in all of Asia. I know Thailand loves DQ, but it's overrated to me. I forgot the name of that South Park character. But throw some dark shades, with dark Nike shorts, shirt, and black dress shoes on him and he resembles somebody. I bet some Soi 6 girls can help me minus buying them 40 shots.

Oh, you think you're clever with this little ice cream cone, huh? You think a photo of a soft-serve in front of a Jollibee somehow makes you king of Southeast Asia? Let me guess, you're out here flexing your budget taste while throwing Randy Marsh's face into the mix, hoping it'll give you some edge? Hate to break it to you, but comparing that little cone to the "best ice cream in Asia" is like calling a tuna sandwich a Michelin meal. Please.

And as for this mystery man you're hinting at, the one who's clearly living rent-free in your head while you stumble through Soi 6 with a pocket full of small change let me clue you in: he's busy actually living life. He doesn't need the validation of randoms slurping soft-serve and trying to crack jokes that don't even land.

Oh, and what's this nonsense about "Nike shorts" and "black dress shoes"? Now you're critiquing outfits that were never even worn. They weren't Nike shorts, genius, and the shoes were Doc Martens, built tough enough to kick your sorry ass if you ever step out of line. So unless you're ready to fact-check yourself and get your act together, grab your cone and head back to the kids' table. You're out of your league.

When aren't we students? Tell me when you stop learning. Or you like that everything guy? LOL. And this thing about age. My body has a BMI of 21.7, 0.8 waist to hip, 11.5% body fat, 49% skeletal muscle. Feel free to guess my age? I'd wager better than most college males. As for my spirit. I have no beginning, no end. Timeless. Ageless. It's what humans call eternal and everlasting. LOL.

Oh, here we go-our resident wise old gym Yoda, dropping stats like hes the second coming of Schwarzenegger. BMI of 21.7? Waist-to-hip ratio? 11.5% body fat? Who the hell do you think you are, the poster boy for Mens Health? Newsflash, Einstein: no ones asking for your body metrics breakdown, and no ones impressed that you spent your Friday night measuring yourself with a tape. And the best part? Youre so out of touch, you actually think thats whats going to make people guess youre ageless and eternal. Guess what, buddy? The only thing eternal here is the cringe from this post.

And lets talk about this timeless, ageless spirit youre flaunting like some kind of fortune cookie wisdom. No beginning, no end? Spare me. Youre a dude in a gym mirror, flexing and snapping selfies like a teenage girl on Instagram. The only eternal thing here is how long youve been stuck in this sad little loop of trying to impress people with stats nobody cares about. Better than most college males? Let me clue you in on something, Socrates: real confidence doesnt need to scream its metrics. Real confidence doesnt stand around begging people to guess my age.

So while youre busy convincing yourself youre some kind of demigod with a protein shake, the rest of us are out here actually living. Go ahead, keep posting those gym stats and spiritual platitudes, because I guarantee you, the only thing timeless here is how desperate you look. Heres a tip: stop acting like a gym bro Buddha and start acting your age whatever that is, ageless wonder.

Game, set, match.

ET out

[EverythingThai]

Hello, everyone! I'm thrilled to be visiting Pattaya for the first time. I've gone through some of the previous posts here, and they've been super helpful, but I still feel a bit lost about where the absolute must-visit spots are. I'the love some recommendations for hidden gems and any can't-miss experiences you think a first-timer would enjoy. Thanks in advance for your tips and looking forward to exploring this vibrant city!

Vibrant City. You mean open air brothel. Here's your most important tip: you aren't handsome and she doesn't love you. You're never going to be handsome and she's never going to love you.

Oh, brilliant insight there, Captain Cynicism! Someone asks a real question, and this is what you bring to the table? "Vibrant city. Open air brothel." Wow, what a revelation! You must be exhausted from all that intellectual heavy lifting. Here's the thing buddy, this forum isn't your personal therapy session where you get to work out whatever bitterness is festering in that hollow head of yours. You contribute nothing but cheap shots and recycled pessimism. Maybe the reason you're so quick to bash everyone else's chances is that deep down, you know you don't stand one yourself. So unless you've got something useful to say, take a seat and let the adults talk.

I was in Thailand two weeks ago and I'm right next door in Cambodia.

Oh, so you've got bold opinions about Pattaya while you're sitting next door in Cambodia, of all places? You're judging Thailand from the country where washed-up lowlifes and wannabe expats end up when they've got nowhere else to go. Cambodia is where the bottom of the barrel scrapes itself, and you're actually trying to talk down about Pattaya? Spare me. You have not been to Pattaya for 10 years , yet you're out here running your mouth like you've got the inside track. Newsflash: Pattaya got more life, more energy, and more class in one street than the entire mess you're calling home right now. So maybe stick to commenting on what you know whatever that is because Pattaya and even all of Thailand is clearly out of your league.


All this over the last 2 days was like taking a shit. I was off work so passing the time until I can recoup for another T-Ded run. Now I will leave you all in the hands of ElMexicant the Mexican Indian cheap Charlie gym rat, creep and Nyezhov or should I say Fuck offvzzzz the Cambodian Prince who thinks he is living in Cambodian paradise.

ET out

[EverythingThai]

Wow. Brilliant riposte. I'm just totally destroyed as a human being. All I can say is blow me you loser piece of shit. You don't deserve much more.

Oh, you're "totally destroyed as a human being"? I wish I could take credit for that, but you were a wreck long before I got here. "Blow me, you loser piece of shit"? Real original, Shakespeare. You couldn't come up with a creative insult if your life depended on it. Face it: you're outclassed, outmatched, and out of your league. I've seen more wit from a dead houseplant. You think this back-and-forth makes you look tough? No, it just makes you look desperate. You keep crawling back to me with the same recycled garbage because you know I'm ten steps ahead, and it's eating you alive. So take your weak lines and run along. I don't have time for amateurs.

[EverythingThai]

This might be the best, maybe true, maybe fictional, story ever told. There was a meet up at a named Thai bar in Pattaya awhile back. All the guys who went knew each other from a somewhat anonymous chat group. There were four guys in total. First guy to arrive was named SWIM. Then the others who came later were Brother Louie, Santa, and lastly, one who like to be called the Snake.

Hot topic of discussion that night was about a fifth guy from the chat room named AlwaysStinkyGuy. Apparently, ASG ruffled up some feathers weeks before with some nonsense bickering and then found it a great idea to give open invites to all the members to meet him in person. How easy was it for those had a distain for ASG simply impersonate or pretend they were just seeking friendly advice or be someone else? Yep, that damn easy to pump his ego up for a big fall.

Brother Louie confessed to the group what he did. ASG was addicted to alcohol. Felt that without it, there was no party. No fun to he had. All it took was to meet up with him, and simply buy ASG a bunch of free drinks from the bar. And while he was bringing them to the table, make a detour in the bathroom. Hawk tuah. Hawk tuah. Hawk tuah. Alcohol at 40% is known to kill (some) germs he thought. He disliked ASG, but not to the point where he wanted to make him sick. Brother Louie confessed to the others his feeling of satisfaction when ASG chugged down those free drinks after the cheers of their glasses. Slippy slide down the hatch went the goops and goops of their trust.

Santa looked at Brother Louie and said, "That's it?" So weak he yelled out at the group. When Santa pretended to be someone else and met up with ASG, he claimed he went a step further and dosed ASG with some of what he called "love potion #8" mixed in with some Baily's. SWIM looked at Santa and asked, "What the hell is that?" Santa then spoke no words. His red eyes veered down to below his waist and he let out quite sinister laugh. Then he started singing the opening phrase to Nirvana, "Come as You Are. " Lastly, he said for the entire week before, all he did was drank lots of milk and ate red meat to make the love potion more clumpy and bitter.

SWIM at this point started to gag. Both Santa and the Snake seem just fine. Next the Snake chimed in and said body fluids in hidden in alcohol is like so 80's. SWIM was thinking the Snake was talking down onto the rest of the group. So he asked, what did you do? The Snake just quoted a medical article about improper hand washing or none at all by food service workers leading to Montezuma's revenge. He said all you need is a tiny piece of soiled toilet paper because the cheaply Thai toilet paper will dissolve in water. What's left floating in the drink would be called "love potion #2. " Then the Snake excused himself to go to the bathroom.

After he came back, the waitress finally came over to take their drink order. Brother Louie, Santa, and the Snake all got mixed drinks. SWIM ordered Coke Zero, ice cold, in a can, and let me open it up at the table, straw please. When the drinks came to the table. The three who told their stories of revenge looked at SWIM and said unison, "What did you do mister bigshot?" SWIM looked at them all and said politely, "Nothing. " Then he sipped on his Coke Zero and smiled. Then after a brief pause, he said, "Let me explain. "
ASG did everything to himself. Let's see. Posted conquests. Named bars. Named girls. Showed pics of girls. Showed pics of his bills and even gave dates. It's 2024 and even in 2023 and 2022, there is thing called social media. Once you attach yourself and those photos to social media and want to to be the "Morning Star" of attention. You better make sure you are a hell of a bad ass or at least a real nice guy. ASG isn't either of these. SWIM just felt sorry for the guy. All it takes is for somebody get a hold of ASG's pics on social media from these bars. Go meet up with a previous posted girl. Buy her a few drinks and somehow slip in that you are looking for a long lost buddy.

I know him will say the girls. Oh yeah, want 1 more drink? He's my buddy, but I lost his LINE info. Bam. LINE sent through share. Then comes Facebook and everything else. Oddly enough, SWIM admitted when he may have in fact made the secret add, then about a week later, those suggestions for friends started popping up. Most friends suggestion where in Thailand, but weird that some where Thai girls, some where foreign guys, and some were EL Bees. Wonder whose to blame for this? The only other friend of the same old LINE account is a 70 year old OG from the dark side that has been the account for years. Somebody is playing dirty.

The other three gave SWIM a blank stare and said, "We need to name you the Destroyer. " SWIM smiled and said, "Save that nick name for the one called Devin, that was just a story. Really, I did nothing. " Not even sure what I am saying because I am drunk off this Coke Zero. And besides, as dumb as ASG is was or is now, there can only be one who is even more dumb. They looked at SWIM and said, "Who?" SWIM smiled. Looked at the audience. Sipped his soda. Then answered, "The poor sap that replies. ".

(If this was Chaturanga, King is now trapped).

Alright, buckle up, because here it comes loud, brash, and about to tear apart this amateur production of a "gotcha" moment with all the grace of a bulldozer in a glass factory. You think you've got the goods to "reveal" me? You've got nothing but recycled bar gossip, dude, wrapped up in a thin narrative that even a first-year screenwriter would toss out.

Oh, a group of guys meeting up, talking tough, passing around "love potions"? Please. I've seen more convincing plotlines in the bargain bin at Blockbuster. And let me tell you something if you actually knew anything about me, you would understand I don't play these petty, small-time games. You think anyone's trembling in their boots over this? I could get more dirt in a toddler's sandbox.

But let's take a step back and appreciate the real beauty here. Because while you're busy cooking up half-baked stories that sound like they're auditioning for a cheap pulp fiction gig, I'm out here actually living. So go ahead, knock yourself out with your big "reveal" see if it gets you anything but crickets. Because at the end of the day, the only people who care about the drama you're trying to spin are the ones who already have nothing better to do.

This is the end of the line for you, buddy. You're just background noise.

[EverythingThai]

This might be the best, maybe true, maybe fictional, story ever told. There was a meet up at a named Thai bar in Pattaya awhile back. All the guys who went knew each other from a somewhat anonymous chat group. There were four guys in total. First guy to arrive was named SWIM. Then the others who came later were Brother Louie, Santa, and lastly, one who like to be called the Snake.

Hot topic of discussion that night was about a fifth guy from the chat room named AlwaysStinkyGuy. Apparently, ASG ruffled up some feathers weeks before with some nonsense bickering and then found it a great idea to give open invites to all the members to meet him in person. How easy was it for those had a distain for ASG simply impersonate or pretend they were just seeking friendly advice or be someone else? Yep, that damn easy to pump his ego up for a big fall.

Brother Louie confessed to the group what he did. ASG was addicted to alcohol. Felt that without it, there was no party. No fun to he had. All it took was to meet up with him, and simply buy ASG a bunch of free drinks from the bar. And while he was bringing them to the table, make a detour in the bathroom. Hawk tuah. Hawk tuah. Hawk tuah. Alcohol at 40% is known to kill (some) germs he thought. He disliked ASG, but not to the point where he wanted to make him sick. Brother Louie confessed to the others his feeling of satisfaction when ASG chugged down those free drinks after the cheers of their glasses. Slippy slide down the hatch went the goops and goops of their trust.

Santa looked at Brother Louie and said, "That's it?" So weak he yelled out at the group. When Santa pretended to be someone else and met up with ASG, he claimed he went a step further and dosed ASG with some of what he called "love potion #8" mixed in with some Baily's. SWIM looked at Santa and asked, "What the hell is that?" Santa then spoke no words. His red eyes veered down to below his waist and he let out quite sinister laugh. Then he started singing the opening phrase to Nirvana, "Come as You Are. " Lastly, he said for the entire week before, all he did was drank lots of milk and ate red meat to make the love potion more clumpy and bitter.

SWIM at this point started to gag. Both Santa and the Snake seem just fine. Next the Snake chimed in and said body fluids in hidden in alcohol is like so 80's. SWIM was thinking the Snake was talking down onto the rest of the group. So he asked, what did you do? The Snake just quoted a medical article about improper hand washing or none at all by food service workers leading to Montezuma's revenge. He said all you need is a tiny piece of soiled toilet paper because the cheaply Thai toilet paper will dissolve in water. What's left floating in the drink would be called "love potion #2. " Then the Snake excused himself to go to the bathroom.

After he came back, the waitress finally came over to take their drink order. Brother Louie, Santa, and the Snake all got mixed drinks. SWIM ordered Coke Zero, ice cold, in a can, and let me open it up at the table, straw please. When the drinks came to the table. The three who told their stories of revenge looked at SWIM and said unison, "What did you do mister bigshot?" SWIM looked at them all and said politely, "Nothing. " Then he sipped on his Coke Zero and smiled. Then after a brief pause, he said, "Let me explain. "
ASG did everything to himself. Let's see. Posted conquests. Named bars. Named girls. Showed pics of girls. Showed pics of his bills and even gave dates. It's 2024 and even in 2023 and 2022, there is thing called social media. Once you attach yourself and those photos to social media and want to to be the "Morning Star" of attention. You better make sure you are a hell of a bad ass or at least a real nice guy. ASG isn't either of these. SWIM just felt sorry for the guy. All it takes is for somebody get a hold of ASG's pics on social media from these bars. Go meet up with a previous posted girl. Buy her a few drinks and somehow slip in that you are looking for a long lost buddy.

I know him will say the girls. Oh yeah, want 1 more drink? He's my buddy, but I lost his LINE info. Bam. LINE sent through share. Then comes Facebook and everything else. Oddly enough, SWIM admitted when he may have in fact made the secret add, then about a week later, those suggestions for friends started popping up. Most friends suggestion where in Thailand, but weird that some where Thai girls, some where foreign guys, and some were EL Bees. Wonder whose to blame for this? The only other friend of the same old LINE account is a 70 year old OG from the dark side that has been the account for years. Somebody is playing dirty.

The other three gave SWIM a blank stare and said, "We need to name you the Destroyer. " SWIM smiled and said, "Save that nick name for the one called Devin, that was just a story. Really, I did nothing. " Not even sure what I am saying because I am drunk off this Coke Zero. And besides, as dumb as ASG is was or is now, there can only be one who is even more dumb. They looked at SWIM and said, "Who?" SWIM smiled. Looked at the audience. Sipped his soda. Then answered, "The poor sap that replies. ".

(If this was Chaturanga, King is now trapped).

Nice little creative writing attempt. It’s cute you think you’re in my league.

"Oh, so that's your big plan? You're going to run around playing amateur detective, whispering secrets to Thai girls like some low-budget spy movie? News flash: I don't play in the kiddie pool. You think I care if people find out about my forum posts? Spoiler alert I own every word. I'm right here, out in the open, making moves while you're sneaking around like it's some grand conspiracy.

Let me clue you in on how this is really going to play out. You'll huff and puff, get nowhere, and maybe just maybe muster the courage to walk up to someone and say, 'Guess what I heard?' And the minute they look at you, they'll see right through it. Because here's the thing: people can smell desperation. They can see who's the real deal and who's still floundering, trying to feel relevant.

So by all means, get out there. Make me the headline. Because when all is said and done, you're going to learn the hard way that playing against me is like playing chess with a goldfish. I don't even have to try. You're swimming in the shallow end, kid, and I'm the deep waters you don't know how to handle. Make the rounds, spill your little tea, and then take a good look in the mirror. I'll be here, where I always am front and center, unapologetic, while you wonder how you lost before the game even started. ".


Oh, and lets not forget you and your little circle of keyboard warriors on that other unarmed Pattaya Discord group. You all think you've cracked the code, like you're some elite team of masterminds, but let me tell you you're not even in the game. You sit around hyping each other up, convinced you've got it all figured out, but the truth? You're a joke. All of you are spinning your wheels, posting your little theories while the real players move right past you.

So do us all a favor go grab your buddies in India, grab some tikka masala, and sit this one out. Because from where Im standing, youre trying to play chess with checkers skills, and its just embarrassing. Run along now, kid. This is the big leagues.

[Nyezhov]

Hello, everyone! I'm thrilled to be visiting Pattaya for the first time. I've gone through some of the previous posts here, and they've been super helpful, but I still feel a bit lost about where the absolute must-visit spots are. I'the love some recommendations for hidden gems and any can't-miss experiences you think a first-timer would enjoy. Thanks in advance for your tips and looking forward to exploring this vibrant city!

Vibrant City. You mean open air brothel. Here's your most important tip: you aren't handsome and she doesn't love you. You're never going to be handsome and she's never going to love you.

[Nyezhov]

I'll tell you dudes what it is. Real genuine peace of mind is when you have a hot girl blowing you. For those precious minutes, nothing matters anymore. No high can match it. Not alcohol, not drugs, nothing. You know why?

Cause at the end of your dick is a pair of lips that's sucking you off. A pair of hot lips that belong to another human being. It's the ultimate high to be had, it's life saying that you deserve this. You deserve to be blown. You've had a shitty, shitty life. You wish death on yourself every goddamn day. Life has been cruel to you. But somehow you have a little cash stashed away, and now you're going to pay a hot girl to blow you. That's the littlest, tiniest semblance of power that sad sacks of shit like myself get to have so by Beelzebub I'm going to get me some.

Then if I had any guts at all, I might fucking finally jump in front of that bus. Jeezum crow. I hate being alive.

Dude I hope you're referring to female lips.