Stupid Shit in the Philippines

[PilotPaul]

Coffee costs more than a beer WTF?

You do know that's why Ph is popular. No sin taxes.

I'm a coffee snob professional. I don't think that PH grows an significant amount of reputable coffee. They have.

The rainfall. Check.

The poverty. Check.

But not the. Altitude.

PP.

[Kabul Guy]

Those Flips in the kitchen can't fuck up black coffee too badly. The boiling water will kill most of the bugs.

....

The can, they use instant coffee. Why in a counry that actually grows pretty good coffee, is a good cup of the stuff hard to get and pretty expensive. Coffee costs more than a beer WTF?

[Engine Driver]

Good rule of thumb, if you get it hot, eat it while still hot you will be OK.

I am either very lucky or have a cast iron gut, but the only time I was really sick from eating in a restaurant was at a Best Western in Minot ND more than 30 years ago. That includes time in many years in post conflict zones (it was called a post conflict zone but at one time had well over 100,000 troops in it) and countries specifically referred to by the POTUS as "shithole" countries.

Those Flips in the kitchen can't fuck up black coffee too badly. The boiling water will kill most of the bugs.

GE must be a very patient man to run a Michelin starred, fine dining French restaurant in that backwater in Mindanao. Even teaching the workers to starch and fold white linen napkins would send me nuts.

[Kabul Guy]

If you have it on video, contact https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsE...h84mw/featured who would no doubt praise you for following veterans' advice and staying out of the salami factory. You have gone up a notch in my rating.

....

I just watched a couple of those video's.

I like the Rules of Stupid.

Don't go stupid places.

Where there are stupid people.

At stupid times.

Something I have tried to follow but it was nicely and succinctly stated.

It really applies in this country where stupid places and stupid people abound and stupid times expand to fill a large part of the day.

If stupid shit like I watched can happen in a rural area of a sleepy province at 8 AM, you really need to be very careful after the bars close in a major city. The incident ended relatively peacefully, the cops were armed but no guns came into play. All it would have taken would have been the fat fuck trying to grab or a cop believing that he was trying to grab a gun and the fecal material would have hit the rotating air moving device.

Watching a guy get a couple well deserved shots with a night stick is one thing, watching someone getting a couple shots of 9 mm is something I really do not want to see again.

[Kabul Guy]

Thanks for sharing. You really cannot make that kind of shit up. Classic PH. And the story is just the beginning.

Next chapter.

Fat guy's Filipina wife is called to station. She argues and pays (again) to get him out of trouble.

When his life savings are depleted she leaves him.

Alternate ending.

He was drink at 8 AM because he was broke and she had already left him, he found out when he came home and found her fucking the trike driver and the blue note he left on the bar was his last peso.

Too bad he doesn't have a bike to sell for airfare home any more.

[Kabul Guy]

...

On a serious culinary note: I find omelettes and black coffee are good choices in dodgy food land. I go to a very dodgy area on a regular basis, .....

Good rule of thumb, if you get it hot, eat it while still hot you will be OK.

I am either very lucky or have a cast iron gut, but the only time I was really sick from eating in a restaurant was at a Best Western in Minot ND more than 30 years ago. That includes time in many years in post conflict zones (it was called a post conflict zone but at one time had well over 100,000 troops in it) and countries specifically referred to by the POTUS as "shithole" countries.

[Nice Guy 99]

Cops leave, dog catchers leave, dog owner notices bike in ditch with keys in it and steals the bike.

Classic! (needs ten more characters to post. Sigh).

[PilotPaul]

Cops leave, dog catchers leave, dog owner notices bike in ditch with keys in it and steals the bike..

Thanks for sharing. You really cannot make that kind of shit up. Classic PH. And the story is just the beginning.

Next chapter.

Fat guy's Filipina wife is called to station. She argues and pays (again) to get him out of trouble.

When his life savings are depleted she leaves him.

[PedroMorales]

I thought of putting this in the stupid monger thread, but I am not sure if the guy was a monger or not. His actions were not directly monger related. It really is more fun in the Philippines.

If you have it on video, contact https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsE...h84mw/featured who would no doubt praise you for following veterans' advice and staying out of the salami factory. You have gone up a notch in my rating.

On a serious culinary note: I find omelettes and black coffee are good choices in dodgy food land. I go to a very dodgy area on a regular basis, usually staying in top hotels but the water can be a killer and I don't like pills. I have actually been caught short on occasion though no fault of my own. I found switching to omelettes and laying off the extras (olives, jams, breads, anything remotely liquid or that has been washed) was a big help. Black tea works well too. An airline hostess I bonk on a regular basis (P4P) tells me never to drink tea or coffee on planes as the water sucks. As regards Pinoy land, "cooks" smoking cigarettes, stoves beside toilets and the mice and rats playing Texas Hold them as the Korean babrs back their favourite furries.

[Kabul Guy]

I thought of putting this in the stupid monger thread, but I am not sure if the guy was a monger or not. His actions were not directly monger related.

I am sitting in a local restaurant, it is on a side road, paved with some traffic but not on the main highways here. It is just after 8 AM an I am having breakfast.

A fat foreigner pulls up on a bike, I don't know how the 125 CC engine could move all that weight let alone how the shocks supported it. He is obviously drunk, sits down at a table orders 2 beers and two shots. I don't know what his story is and really don't care to find out.

A local government truck pulls up, it is a local dog catching action, they start rounding up a bunch of mutts putting them in a cage that already has a few dogs in it. A local dog owner starts arguing with the guys, the argument escalates and lots of shouting and arms waving.

Great I think, I will see a fight while eating my omelet.

I don't know if the staff called them or they were just passing by but a police car stops. The officers get out, more shouting and arm waving. This is becoming the most interesting breakfast in a while. They are right in front of the restaurant. Blocking the road as the cops stopped right in the middle of the road.

Right in the middle of this, fat foreigner decides to leave, after the beer and shots he can hardly walk, he leaves a blue note on the table and staggers to his bike. The police notice this and the arguments stops as the dog catchers, dog owner and police all stop and watch drunk idiot get on his bike. Or I should say tries, he missed the first couple of attempts.

Finally, he is on the bike, starts it and drives out onto the road, just misses one cop who grabs his arm, pulling him of the bike, bike runs into ditch. Drunk idiot tries to take a swing at the cop. Both cops pile on and deliver a few good hits. Cuffs go on and with the help of the dog catchers the guy gets put into the back of the police car.

Cops leave, dog catchers leave, dog owner notices bike in ditch with keys in it and steals the bike.

It really is more fun in the Philippines.

[Engine Driver]

Dear Moderator,

I thought I was the moderator of this thread. How can you keep overriding me? Please explain. Hahahaha.

I like the thread to be free for all. That is, no moderation. Hahahaha.

[PedroMorales]

You are not trying hard enough. Ph offers all of the things that your imagination can offer without it getting into your home soil domain.

Want to fuck a girl upside down in a cupboard, just ask. Want the royal treatment from landing to departure, just ask. Want the girl, her cousins and her mum, just ask.

When I visited Siargao the surfing place, there were filipina that surf and fuck. If that's your thing. There are adventurous girls that love travel and love guys. Just ask. Find the experiences that float your boat.

Your profile and posting history shows you have been monitoring and engaging with the Ph forum. It's time for you to Level Up. Raise your expectations well above your first four bareback encounters.

PP.

Thank you for opining. I have been to the Phils on numerous occasions. I have done the stretched limo thing (but not with a hooker as no crass.) My surfing days are done and, therein, you make a relevant, if implicit point. Young surf birds want to be with young surf guys, not guys who want their 8 hours' sleep and who prefer to pass on the Vitamin V. When we get older, we must change pace, just as Frank Sinatra did with his voice as he got older. I think Botox guys, like that Beatles' chappie, look really awful. Glow old glacefully.

I am gearing up to move into the bocce league and a nice Castello di Neive Barbaresco to round off the day. That, complete with cannoli and a freshly pressed Canali shirt is the wheel of life we must accept. I like going to such things and complaining about "the youth of today".

Here too we can moan about the mongers of today. All I want is to have my penis serviced and to avoid troublesome tlike dlivers and laundly hands. There is something pleasurable in putting my penis into its 10,089th vagina but, at this stage, not much novel about it. Hollywood has only three plots and Pretty Woman is one of them.

I do not want to go to the Phils to find a pint sized bargain basement Pletty Woman, although I could see the funny side of introducing her to my bocce buddies.

This thread is on Stupid Mongers in the Philippines. Maybe like las Vegas or Thailand, it is, at heart, quite simple. If you are a casual player, it is fine. If you think a babe in a brothel is a prize worth striving for, you have already lost the fight. Who knows? They will still be arguing this stuff long after we surf out.

[Dg8787]

You already admitted you were the big joke in the original post. Frankly, I think you tell lies. I have my tickets bought from Europe but it is chump change to me; I have more cash stashed in my house than you would see in five years. One problem with going is the opportunity cost; I am a busy man. I am showing my Davao ticket so you know to stay out of the way if I am around as I don't like Chinamen like you. I don't have a basement. I live in a spacious spread and I am giving away more stuff these days (to make room for more) than you could ever afford to buy. Yesterday I gave away very valuable books, antiques if you will, and tomorrow I give away valuable China but not to China men with penis envy issues. I am too lazy to sell it. I leave you to collect plastic bottles, Chinaman.

People send me PMs scoffing at you and you certainly supply them with plenty of ammunition, which is not surprising, given your ethnicity and your penis envy and height complexes. At least GE made an effort. You have a lot to learn. Which is why this thread has, by your own admission, already highlighted you in 50% of cited cases. Some record, Chinaman.

You also mentioned my mother, whose grave I visited today. That fits you right into "Stupid Mongers in the Philippines". Don't do it again, Chinaman.

As regards wines, I was dealing today with German, English (Austrian (dodgy) and Hungarian whites. You stick to your soy sauce and your bottom of the barrel penis envy fantasies, Chinaman. I will stick to sticking my dick into rich chicks and considering if I should let my tickets go to waste, as I often do.

You prove my point that low end mongers are best avoided. Continue with your uninformed insults and I will factor that in, Chinaman. Now it is late here and a busy day tomorrow. Don't bother me again Chinaman. Go off and iron someone's shirts, Chinaman.

Pesos you might have. But certainly no class.

Always thought you and CM were one of the same.

[PilotPaul]

Here is my challenge. I am due to fly out in about 10 days but I don't know if it is worth the effort.

You are not trying hard enough. Ph offers all of the things that your imagination can offer without it getting into your home soil domain.

Want to fuck a girl upside down in a cupboard, just ask. Want the royal treatment from landing to departure, just ask. Want the girl, her cousins and her mum, just ask.

When I visited Siargao the surfing place, there were filipina that surf and fuck. If that's your thing. There are adventurous girls that love travel and love guys. Just ask. Find the experiences that float your boat.

Your profile and posting history shows you have been monitoring and engaging with the Ph forum. It's time for you to Level Up. Raise your expectations well above your first four bareback encounters.

PP.

[PedroMorales]

Stupid score: 9.Stupid score: 8.Stupid score: 6. 4. Philippines has the highest concentration of hookers per square mile than any other country. Knowing this, Monger E wanted to fuck above his station by pursuing educ Stupid score: 9.

Such a night. Those whites creep up on you, even though most poems are about reds. I like natural and organic.

To the matter in hand. There should be quantifiable ways of predicting monger stupidity.

1. he is a laundry man.

2. he thinks his inked date has class (he, of course, has none).

3. he thinks love is to be found propping up a lamppost.

4. he buys her things.

5. he gives her his FB details.

6. he tries to impress her. Impressing a ho. LOL.

7. he boasts about renting one or more cut price hos.

8. he sees the provider as something more than a provider.

9. .

10.