GF Experience in Bangalore

[GF Experience]

it's a lonely road.

being an escort is a very lonely way to live.

surronded by men, but none who really knows you. no one who really cares about you.

escorts lose their family and friends. we either shock them into leaving us if they find out, or we get caught up in our world of secrets and lies that we slowly block people out, until we realize we are alone. maybe not physically, but alone.

we can't tell anyone what we do for work. we can't talk about our day, our clients. we can't share the funny or scarey stories with anyone. we can't sit down with our families and talk about how this all makes us feel.

we end up isolated, and there may be people around us, but it is different now because we can't open ourselves up to them anymore. we can't be ourselves, because we are doing something that no one wants to talk about. we can't be ourselves with our clients either. we have to perform a job, and that job is to be sweet and sexy and completely focused on him. noone wants an angry escort, or one crying because her boyfriend beat her up.

even after leaving the business, they are our secrets to keep. our memories, our stories, that we can't share with people we care about.

its loneliness. it makes you guarded, and cautious. normal conversations, normal get togethers, become tricky. lying gets hard, and always having to hide the truth is harder.

i get so many emails from those who have worked, just to tell me a story, just to get something off their chest and feel the relief of having been able to talk to someone. i love that they can write to me. and it breaks my heart because i know how hard it is to live that way.

of course the main difference is the money.

"regular" work means knowing that you will work everyday, all day, for less than what you would make in a few hours escorting. theres just no getting around it. high end escorts earn more than lawyers, doctors, and most middle class.

it takes alot of strength to leave escorting because of the financial reasons.

alot.

i still struggle with it.

why? its not greed, it's because i know i can pull off escorting, and i choose not to, and in doing so, i will continue to be in debt, my children will not have a college fund, its not that i want to retire by age 35, its that i want the stability and security that came from making huge amounts of money. i want my children to have what they would have if their fathers helped me. and that is not an option working a regular job.

yes i know it is the right thing to do. does it make it any easier to know that? hell no.

the other issue is one that many working girls have related to me via email. we seem to give off some vibe. maybe it's in our heads, but i don't think it is. there is a tension with the other women. is it jealousy? is it that we know we are hiding something and therefore seem guarded / bitchy to the normal women? i don't know.

then there are the guys.

the guys gawking over you, always staring- like we give off some sex vibe without knowing it. is it the guilt? is it knowing how much we could be charging them and they sense the possibility? again, i don't know what it is, but we as a group feel awkward going back into normal lines of work.

maybe it is the aftermath of the job. the guilt, the secrecy, the shame. we have such a wall up that it wouldn't be possible to be ourselves with our co-workers.

"what did you do before coming here?" ummmm i sold myself.

"why do you want to work here" i really don't, but its the right thing to do.

"what skills do you think you would bring to this job" you don't want me to answer that. .

and then there is the time. i was so used to doing whatever i wanted all day. i worked when i wanted, and had so much free time. now my days are accounted for. scheduled. wake up- get there on time, work until dark, pick up the kids, try to make dinner and say hi to them before bed, clean the house, throw in some laundry, pay some bills. i feel like a robot, just doing what i need to do day after day with no joy. i guess this is what real life is like, but after escorting, it's really hard to adjust to.

there is always the thought in the back of my head that i should just quit, i can go out once a week and earn the same amount. i miss the time i had with my kids. i miss being outside in the sun. i miss thet v. i miss the days. i feel like i was a better mother as an escort- how crazy is that?

but i wasn't. i always had to hide, and lie. and now i can be honest, and proud of what i do. i don't have to like it, i just have to do it. kinda like escorting, but without all of the dangers of being out there.

is it worth it? yes, it is. it is hard and some days i want to quit, but it is worth it. i am safe, and i only have sex with the person i love, and only when i want to. ill know i'll never be like the other women at the office, but maybe someday i won't feel so alien around them.

porn.

porn porn porn.

it's everywhere, its a huge business. and i never really thought about it until i stopped escorting.

i never minded porn, if my boyfriend wanted to watch it, okay. i never liked the hard core stuff, but the regular movies could be a turn on.

then i became an escort. and sex became a job. and then i could no longer imagine that the people in the porn industry enjoyed their jobs. i couldn't pretend the people on the screen cared about each other.

i've also began to ruin porn for my current boyfriend, so i have to make myself stop talking when he watches it, because there is something still cute about his innocence, his getting turned on by watching it. and i don't want to ruin that for him.

watching porn does nothing for me now. if anything, it pisses me off.

now i notice the woman's faces. i used to say to my boyfriend, look at her face, she is not enjoying that- it is fake. or. look, she is in pain, look at her face. maybe that's the problem, guys don't really look at the women's faces. having been there, i can see it. the empty looks at the camera. the painful winces that flash by. the slight look of resentment towards the men, towards each other.

porn sucks once you have been bought.

it opens your eyes to things most people don't see, or choose to ignore.

i know why the women are there. they need the money, and now it is out there to be regretted and for the world to see. i can't stand the movies that don't use protection. it is so unsafe, and just so disrespectful to the women. the facial scenes make me extra sick. i feel so bad for those women. so many different people, so many risks involved.

the fake noises, the fake expressions, the weird positions women are squished into for the sake of some man on a couch at home. the multiple men at one time, the backdoor thing- its not fun, it hurts. i have never done either, but i can tell you it hurts. it is all so sad to me now to watch it being done to someone else- and thats not even beginning to address the torture videos out there.

porn used to be fun to watch, now all i can think is i wish that guy would hurry up so she can be done. i know that is what the woman on the screen is thinking as well. please please hurry up.

the next time you watch a xxx movie, watch her face. tell me if you see it now or not.

someone explain men to me please!

you would think i would get it by now- and i definately understand men alot more now than i did before-

why why why. what is it with the teen thing?

what is the obsession with sex? i love sex- would i go after a teen boy? nfw.would i jeapordize a relationship by cheating? nope. would i risk stds and all that other good stuff- no.

what is it? is it the naughty aspect- is it the not getting caught? is it watching their faces / bodies while they are in the act? do they feel powerful the more women they have, the younger they are?

escorting makes you relate to the sex drive, and the empty relationships and the desire aspects, but what drives the recklessness?

i have always been an adamantly opposed to fake breasts.

i don't know why. i had several friends that had gotten them done, and i just could never understand why. why would you want to do that to yourself? for men? ugh.

plus i thought they looked ridiculous, and to go under the knife to get there? why were all these women trying to look alike? we had enough barbies roaming around, and i took a stand with pink, making fun of all the "stupid girls"

cutting to the chase, i am getting implants next month, thanks to a generous boyfriend obsessed with breasts.

i know, i know but before you send me a million emails trying to change my mind- listen to my reasoning. (does my reasoning make sense to anyone who hasn't worked in the industry? lol)

before escorting, i never thought about breast augmentation, it just never occurred to me to do something like that, it seemed absurd. the girls i knew who had it done, frankly, i teased them brutally.

you would think that escorting made me want to get them bigger, but actually the opposite is true. most men are stereotyped as obsessed with large breasts, and yes there are some, but the truth is, the majority like real. big, small, squishy or not, they prefer the real you. i was always small. it never affected my work as an escort, in fact i did really really well. i was me, imperfections and all, and i never had any complaints. i wasn't turned away, even though i wasn't the girl in the picture's, and my clients i had independently adored me. they knew who i was, and i had more than enough regulars.

noone ever said i should get my boobs done.

in fact, sometimes when they were complimenting me, or if i was just curious, i would ask, and the answer was 99% no. some would even say "no please please don't. there are way to many fake girls out there, you are beautiful now" and on and on. and the constant praise and the lifestyle boosted my self esteem (about my body anyway) and i thought i was hot. tons of guys always telling you that will convince you. rich guys, tough guys, sappy guys, they all told me the same thing. i was hot.

then i stopped escorting. my boyfriend is super sweet, but he is obsessed with big boobs. at first i was like- whatever! look all you want, but after awhile, and without the constant reassurance from everyone else, i started to feel like crap. in his business he has several huge boobed women that he chose for certain public appearances. he stares at the big boobs everywhere we go. eventually it got to me.

i went from being the girl everyone wanted to somehow not feeling pretty enough for the one guy i chose to be with. hmmmmm. i've never dated a big boob guy, my ex's all liked other things, and definitely wouldn't stare at other women whatever they liked, so i feel sooo ugly nowadays. it seems that i went from the spotlight- money, gifts, compliments- to the back of a closet surrounded by women my boyfriend would rather have.

anyway, that's my story. i'm going to meet the surgeon next week. ill let you know how it goes!

hopefully who aren't working yet, or who are not too caught up in the lifestyle to get out.

if you need the money, and you can manage to escort, then being a sugarbaby is a way better option than escorting.

for those that don't understand, a sugardaddy is usually wealthy, older, and married. they are bored or arrogant, or both, and want to spoil a younger girl. its basically the same as escorting, only safer.

a sugarbaby spends time with him, sex is usually there, but its also alot about company. they want to be around someone fun and new and interesting. of course you have to look good, and be sweet.

that said, i think it is a way better option. morally, its the same as escorting, don't let it get taken to a new level because you get to know each other and start to feel badly for his circumstances, he would be doing it another way if a sugarbaby wasn't around.

a good sugardaddy will pay you an allowance, usually between 5-10, 000 a month, and you agree upon how much time is spent together depending on your schedules. you go shopping, get gifts, have dinners, and of course sex. but its not a meet at a hotel and get it on kind of thing, its like fake dating without any of the emotional crap. its business.

my sugardaddy is now my long term super fabulous boyfriend. we hit it off right away, and a few months in decided to end our "agreement" and start really dating.

i adore him, and we are very lucky, but i wouldn't go into a sd / sb agreement expecting to end up dating, its not the norm.

like i said, most of the time they are married.

if you keep it business, it can work really well. you both get what you want and need. there are plenty of sd's out there, so don't settle for the first one you meet with. i interviewed tons of losers before i met a match. you have to connect for it to work out, or your going to go nuts.

it can be alot of fun, but i think the hard part is when feelings come into play, on either side. if it is kept as a business arrangement it is perfect. when one starts to cross the line, it can get sticky. my prior sd was awesome. mr satish reddy he was super rich, cute, and funny. we got along great, even though he was pretty boring and arrogant towards other people, he was different with me. he made me feel like a princess, which was his job, and i helped him have fun and loosen up a little. we had amazing dates, trips, anything i wanted or mentioned he got, we had alot of fun together.

but. then he started to want more, and i didn't. i liked our arrangement, he wanted more. it made me uncomfortable, because i did care about his feelings, but it just wasn't an option for me, and so when i would meet with him, and he would ask why or talk about different "couple" things, i would get uncomfortable. i couldn't be my happy fun self knowing i was hurting his feelings.

so it had to end.

that's my sd experience, and yes i met alot of losers along the way, the cheap ones, the want unsafe sex ones, the liars. if they mention sex at all, just like with escorting, walk away. the nice guys won't do that. there is a certain behavior that is understood, and if they mention sex just tell them to go find an escort and walk away.

also, it is business. i would not give out my real name, or anything that could identify me. i just wouldn't do it. if he is buying a plane ticket, have him send you the money and you book it. always keep in mind, this is not really dating, its business. there is a wife somewhere that probably wouldn't be too nice if she found out. there are guys who can be really nice, but flip when they get angry. always stay safe, and if you have to consider escorting, i would think about finding a sd instead.

there are lots of websites set up just for this, just google sugardaddy, or email me and i can send you some.

* oh- and not to leave out the guys completely, be careful when choosing a sb, my boyfriend has some not so funny stories about the girls before me.

'

bad dates- naked in the halls and the crack smoker.

i thought i'd share a couple of bad date memories that come to mind. i may have mentioned some of them in previously, if so i'm sorry.

i had a two girl show with my friend at a very nice hotel. i think this was either the second or third time i went out with her. so i was still clueless. we went in and met the guy, who was very nice. he said i could stay (of course). he was married, traveling on business, the usual. we smalled talked him for awhile and pretended to drink his beer, than proceeded to play a little. my friend and i were now in almost nothing. she batted her eyes and said "aren't you going to take a shower for us?" which was odd, but he did. as soon as he shut the bathroom door, she grabbed everything she could and just said "run!"

i was like wtf? now i'm almost naked running after her in the hall of a 5 star hotel in mg road. she was cracking up, i was scared to death. she ran to the nearest stairwell and tossed me my clothes, dressing as she went down the stairs. i just kept saying we should go back, hes going to kill us, hes going to come after us- but she wasn't worried. she called the driver as we ran down the stairs and he was at the door when we came out- still shoeless.

she thought it was the funniest thing ever. i was pissed. i was embarrassed, scared, and her reason was she was bored and wanted to get out of there. i felt bad for the guy, she had taken his wallet and cell phone, and he was traveling.

looking back it is kind of funny now, but at the time i could've killed her.

the crack guy.

this one is not so funny.

i had gone on a call alone, no driver, with the agency. as soon as i pulled up to the house i had a bad vibe, but i trusted the new agency i was with. the guy didn't answer his phone, so i had to try and knock on the door, except he had a very tall fence and the handle was rusted so it was very hard to open. i couldn't do it. he came out and let me in.

when i went in, the house was gross. not bachelor unclean gross, more like, something is not right gross. we small talked a bit and he asked if we could go for a walk to the beach, he lived next to the ocean. i said yes, thinking it would pass the hour faster, but as soon as we started i got a really bad vibe, the hair on my neck was standing up, and my head was yelling not to go, and so i told him it was too cold. he was acting strange, not nervous like a newbie, but nervous like he was trying to get away with something. we went back into the house, and usually there was a very basic order of things, small talk, money, go change and check in, and then whatever. but he wouldn't shut up, he was going a mile a minute.

so when i missed my check in call with the agency she called of course. she said to call back after i was settled. again, i couldn't because he was pacing and talking nonstop. i tried to go use the bathroom to call the agency, but there was no door on the bathroom, in fact, there were no doors at all, only to come in. i was screwed. he lights up a crack pipe looking like thing. i don't do drugs, but this was something that i had seen in movies or on cops, and it stunk, and i was freaked.

i had met guys with drugs alot, and i never liked those conditions, but usually they were older businessmen who offered a line that i declined and never saw, this was different.

i told him i had to call in, so he wouldn't freak if he saw me on the phone. i whispered to the agency to get me out of there, because he was smoking crack. i was afraid either he would flip, or that i would get high off of the fumes (if that's possible)

she said to make the best of it, there was nothing she could do. what? wtf am i giving you half of my money for then? the other agencies always tried something to help, but she was like- sorry, your on your own.

and so i brainstormed while this crackhead paced around talking in riddles blaring porn on his tv, looking at me like he just got out of prison and telling me all the nasty things he plans to do to me.

there is no backdoor. theres only the gate. the mind goes into survival mode, and no i wasnt in immediate danger, but i certainly wasnt going to wait around for him to do any of the things he was talking about.

i told him i needed to get an outfit out of my car. i told him how much fun we were going to have and he better be ready and blah blah blah, and i calmly smiled and walked out slowly, and i fought that fence latch as hard as i could, and when i got to the car i was shaking so hard i could hardly get the key in. i thought for sure he would jump in a car and follow me, shoot at me, something. but he didn't. i got out.

i did cave and go a few months ago- and i quit.

let me explain why.

i decided to go see someone because i was going mental, wanting to work, knowing it was a bad choice, blah blah blah.

and so i found someone who had experience working with girls like me, she was very well trained. she was an older woman, very kind, she made me feel very comfortable.

well, as comfortable as i could possibly get in that situation i suppose.

the first couple of times i met with her were fine, very casual. i hated knowing she was just letting me warm up, i hate the obvious, if that makes sense to anyone. i could see and tell what she was doing and why.

then she began to inquire about my past. my insane family, my absent father, my childhood [CodeWord126], why i cut ties with everyone related to me. then relationships, the abuse, the one who left me pregnant. i answered all of her questions. the issue was that i was too matter of fact for her liking. she said i seemed void of emotion, discussing such "tragedies". well, okay but thats me, its in the past, i don't see any point in crying and feeling like crap now, what good does that do?

she said i was a boiling pot with the cover on, and eventually the emotions would boil.

okay, i can see the analogy, but i thought it was lame. i told her i preferred not to dwell on my past, i see no good that can come of it. i live in the present.

so she agreed to put the past off for awhile. we began to talk about my current boyfriend. she did not like him, well not so much him as "us". i guess because i had met him as a sugar daddy, and he wasnt yet divorced, she just didn't think it was good. i tried to make her understand that it was because of him that i had quit escorting, and that i loved him very much and all was good, but she didn't buy it.

she thought he was controlling, based on our situation, and she said we don't do what normal couples do (talk about kids, marriage, joint money stuff- that kind of thing) she said we were very seperate people, more like roomates. i could see why, but he is everything to me, so i really didn't want to hear it.

i just wanted her to tell me if i should go back to escorting or not.

but she wouldn't.

she told me my childhood [CodeWord123] had set me on a course to escorting and empty relationships. she said until i let out all the grossness of my childhood that i would stay on the path.

this was bullshit- i do not like being labeled and on a path, yes my relationships have sucked, but the escorting wasnt always there, it was a last resort.

i finally just stopped showing up. i felt really bad, i wanted to go, but i didn't want to hear anymore about my boyfriend, or my past. i just wanted her to say it was morally okay to work if i had to, and she refused to say one way or the other. she said she legally couldn't. that was a cop out to me.

it was freeing to be able to talk about escorting with someone who seemed to understand while i could. she didn't look at me with judgement, or lecture me. she said she was proud of me for being so strong. she said she had never met anyone who had been through as much as i had, who could still sit calmly and smile. she was dumbfounded she said, with how i kept myself together. her amazement at my personality was flattering at first. i was proud- i said damn! thats right, look at me and what i've been through and i overcame, but that lasted about 5 minutes, and while i was driving home, i started to feel bad. i started to think of how unfair life has been, and what i have been through is horrible, and maybe i'm not as composed as i want to pretend i am.

i think thats where she was trying to get me to go- maybe i shouldn't have quit. now i just have to wonder *smile*

she always said if she writes a book she would have to include my story, lets see, maybe she will write the ending for me.

be have had extremely poor choices in men in the past, i fully admit that.

i am in a relationship now, but that's what this post is about. (ill write about him when i can confirm he hasn't found this site yet)

i wanted to share with you the story of getting involved with the wrong person in this business, and the devastation that followed.

he came in as a client. he was cute and charming, but so were alot of them and i didn't think much about it. i was all set with men and dating anyway, i liked being single and wasn't looking to change that.

anyway, he comes in again and makes a big fuss about how he couldn't wait to come back and how much he liked me and on and on. he showed me pictures of his kids, and told me his was in the military. for some reason, my friend liked him. her number one rule was never never date a client. you just didn't do it, but she persuaded us to hang out sometime.

now there had been much nicer, much richer, much better men that had asked me out, and it was always just "no".so why i was dumb enough this night is one of those things ill never figure out. his persistence, her encouragement, and i guess my low self esteem and isolation was the mixture that let him into my world.

huge mistake.

a few weeks in he quits his job. my friend then let him play bodyguard for awhile, but she feels something is not right about him. the other bodyguard agrees. they eventually banned him, and a few weeks later my friend and i had a fight, and i cut ties with her.

now it was just him and i. it was strange, but it seemed to work. he would drive and protect me, i would pay him. we were dating, so it was strange to me that he was okay with this, but he was. over time i learned the darker side. he wasn't just helping me, he was obsessed with the lifestyle.

he convinced me to close my business. i was so tired at that point, i was never sleeping, working crazy hours, and he was the only person i talked to, and so i agreed. he pointed out that i can make in a day what i made in a week of business. yes he was right, but that was mistake #1.

once i closed the business, he wanted me to work more. when i was tired and didn't feel like it, he would talk me into it. he would do all the driving and safety he said, all i had to do was the show. easier said than done.

i ended up having to move, and had been planning for years to move across the country. i had always wanted to move there and here he was willing to go with me. it seemed like a good idea.

once we moved, . i never considered him a pimp at the time, and in a way he wasn't, but he was as close as you could get. he went from saying i should work more- to you have too.we need the money. he loved having me as a trophy and i always had to look perfect, even when i wasn't working.

he became obsessed with sex, he always was, but i saw it clearly now. he wanted monitors so he could listen in to the sessions. he said it turned him on. he would ask graphic details, always wanting to know more. he fantasized about men being rough with me, and he told me how much he liked to imagine this or that and wanted to be able to hear it. i was disgusted, and scared. even my clients who knew i had a boyfriend couln't imagine how he could let me do that kind of work, if they only knew. he wanted sex before and after each client. he always wanted sex, and i would give in because he was so overpowering. he would insist until i gave in, or start a fight, and he would always make it clear that he would tell the kids what i was doing during a fight, so as strong minded as i was- he had me where he wanted me.

he masturbated listening to sessions- it was gross. then came the party. he insisted that i accompany him because single guys couldn't get in alone. i went but i hated it. so he would go in and do whatever with whomever, i was the ice princess who made it very clear that if anyone touched me i would freak.

i didn't think it could get much worse. he was fiercely jealous of my upscale clients. he would prefer that i see 5 "normal priced" clients instead of select wealthy ones that he decided payed too much attention to me. he was obsessive, never more than a few feet away from me except when i was working. he would literally even stand outside the bathroom at home. when we argued he would threaten to kill me, or tell everyone what i was doing. he knew i needed him, for help, for protection, and he used that to get what he wanted- money, clothes, whatever he wanted he got.

i was stuck- with no family to call, no friends nearby, and across the country from anything i knew. i needed help, and so i called an old friend who convinced me i had to leave him, and she sent her male friend down to help that happen.

i thought it would be okay once he was gone. i imagined my children and i in this beautiful place, restarting my business and leaving escorting. i had several upscale clients that i had confided in, and they offered to help financially, so that i could return to normal. this was my lifelong dream, i had worked for years to get to this location, and i had found the perfect house, the perfect community.

and then the consequences of meeting him came flooding in. once i ended it with him, the war was on in his eyes. ultimately i lost my home, my children, had to move back across the country to get them back. he broke into my bank account and stole a ton of money. he cancelled my flights back and forth.

he called everyone i had ever know and told them what i did, and where i was. he also told me not to sleep, because he would always find me. he would call and tell me what pajamas i had been wearing so i would know he had been outside the windows. it was just insane.

he told the childrens fathers what i was doing-and then lied to make it all seem horrible. they took me to court and ordered to move back.

i was later told that his plan was to remove the kids, and he would have me to himself. i would never, ever choose a man over my children. i had to pack as much of my things as i could, to move back and regain custody of my children.

i believe that whatever piece of soul i had left was killed that day. i flew back to my dream home and just collapsed. i remember i just crumpled into a ball and sobbed harder than i ever knew possible. everything i had worked for, everything i had done, it all hit me. my friend carried me into the house, where i lay sobbing for two days while they packed my things into a uhaul. i could not cry hard enough it seemed to ease the hurt. then they picked me back up and put me on a plane to return home.

i had nothing. i had no home, no kids, and a inr 300, 000 legal battle ahead to get them back.

pretty glamorous huh?

i also didn't have a job, and so guess where i had to go, completely alone now.

i don't write in this site to play victim, or somehow justify my choices to myself, i write this in the hopes that one person may read this and get out, or never start this kind of work. its not worth it.

dear jackson,

why are we treated with such philosophical shyt on the forum where the basic idea is to share contacts and experiences. i would strongly urge you to remove such nonsense from the forum and let routine stuff go on. my two cents only, the choice is yours.

[GF Experience]

sex life money escorting and family.

what is the life of a high-priced call girl really like? what sort of man is a typical client? how much does she make?

gayathri a native of ooty in tamil nadu, was a 24-year-old aspiring actress in 2004 when she started working in kolly wood, and she to day working with

q: why did you become an escort?

a: i was struggling, a starving actress, living in ooty, trying to succeed. the option was presented to me. i weighed the pros and the cons. i decided to try it once to see if it was something i could handle. it was,

q: how much did you make?

a: an escort makes as much money as she can possibly make for herself. the average escort in bangalore city could estimate makes between inr 10, 000. 00 / an hour. it can be a great living for a certain amount of time. you have to be in escorting with a good agency like http://www.*******************************.com/ where the split ratio is much lesser than other agenct and the relaibility and confidatiality factor is better with these people, make your money and get out. the most money i personally ever made as an escort was either inr 20, 000. 00 / an hour with a two-hour minimum, or inr 75, 000 for one weekend.

q: was it a good weekend?

a: oh, my gosh, it was amazing. we went to megha malai near thekakdy in tamil nadu it was amazing. it was unbelievable. it was a fairy tale.

q: how much does the service make?

a: my agency organizes the appointments, which is either over the telephone or the internet — then it's split 20-80 between the girl and the agency.

q: what did you carry in your purse?

a: i used to have this recurring nightmare where i'the be walking into this gorgeous hotel like the taj, and all of a sudden i would slip and fall in my four-inch heels, go tumbling across the carpet, and with me would go the contents of my purse, which were as follows: 1000 / rupee notes, condoms, lube, and then makeup, cell phone and all the other girl things. it was that moment of mortification of my life being exposed for the world to see, because a girl's life is in her purse.

q: you don't carry pistol or knife?

a: absolutely not. i always lived in bangalore, and bangalore is one of the safest places in the world to be. there are so many people around, you couldn't feel safer. it's when you get into quiet, little neighborhoods like koramanagala or slums in ulsoor or majestic when everything gets spooky.

q: did you ever feel threatened on a 'date'?

a: no.

q: how much did you spend on clothes?

a: i spent a lot of money on clothes, a lot. bangalore is a shopper's dream, and i had unlimited funds for a long period of time. i bought tons of jeans and designer dresses. i bought everything i ever wanted to buy. it was great.

q: was there anything you wouldn't do?

a: i'm not comfortable answering that, partly because my mom's going to read this. but there were definitely boundaries.

q: what would readers be surprised to learn about the business?

a: i don't know if people are wanting to find sympathy in the client, but what was surprising to me was that most clients, most men, were really looking for companionship they were looking to connect with somebody and were looking for more than just a one-hour engagement.

q: who was your typical client?

a: the average client that i met in bangalore through my company was 25-45, well-dressed, well-groomed, very well-mannered, well-educated — a lot of times from mumbai, lawyers, ceos, businessmen, fund managers. about half of them were single, about half of them were married.

the single guys were guys who were super-ambitious, tons of testosterone, very alpha-male types who work really, really hard and don't necessarily have the free time to go out on dates.

a lot of the married guys, one of the things i used to believe at the time was that i was actually doing a service for these guys, because rather than having an affair with their secretary and potentially ruining their lives, they would come see me, satisfy their needs physically and some of the companionship they wanted — going on a date, having fun, relaxing — and being able to sustain their marriage. apparently that's what some people need.

q: did you think you were doing anything wrong?

a: i didn't feel like i was doing anything evil. but you have to look at what are laws for? are they to dictate what's right and what's wrong, or what is safe and what is not safe? should laws be the moral compass for society? i do know that i didn't feel like what i was doing was evil or malicious in any way.

q: did you ever have unprotected sex?

a: no. some may do, but i never did.

q: what does your mom think?

a: my mother loves me. i'm her child. but we've had a lot of obstacles to overcome. it's been a priority for us. we're getting there, and she and i have a very close relationship and a very healthy relationship. she was there for me when nobody else was. she was there for me i don't know where i'the be without her. i feel so much compassion and empathy for girls who don't have the support structures that i did.

q: is it hard for a call girl to have a social life?

a: i always had my circle of friends, and they pretty much stayed constant throughout. there were some of them with whom i could share the details of my life. there were some that i couldn't because we didn't have that element of friendship where we had unconditional love and nonjudgment. it was difficult because within the lifestyle, you're pretty much always on call, so i couldn't make commitments. i couldn't make long-term plans because i might be called by the agency to meet with a client at any time. that's something i don't miss.

q: that must be hard to explain to a date.

a: yeah, it is.

q: did a client ever fall for you or vice versa?

a: yeah, and it definitely went both ways. there was a certain element to my experience in the industry, where for some reason i chose not to separate myself emotionally or put up walls between myself and my experiences with my clients. i'm a hopeless romantic. i fall in love every day. yeah, i definitely fell in love. i didn't hold back from finding things about my clients that were really attractive and really endearing to me. as a result, i definitely developed feelings for them. but at the same time, you get over it, i guess.

q: what do you think of the movie 'pretty woman'?

a: i love that movie! 'pretty woman' is almost a little bit scary, because i remember watching that movie when i was a child. it's the world's best fairy tale. everybody wants to be swept off their feet by richard gere or someone like him and rescued from escorting or wherever she was. it's the cinderella story revisited.

q: is the movie realistic?

a: it actually happens. there was a girl i knew who worked for my agency

http://www.*******************************.com/, who had a booking with a client, went on a date. they fell in love, and he whisked her off to hydrabad. they have a house in hydrabad, a house in bangalore and a house in chennai, and they're getting married.

isn't that great?

q: are people judgmental about what you did for a living?

a: that's something i've had to deal with and come to terms with in my life. it lasted for one year of my life, although it had more long-lasting repercussions. it is a challenge to find the people around me who are willing to know me and love me for who i am and not adhere to what society says is right and wrong.

it does let you know the people who are really true people. it's such a blessing. it really is beautiful. it's a bonus. some people go through their lives and never know who loves me for what i am. i know right away. either you get it or you don't. it's a deal-breaker.

q: what's the biggest misconception about the business?

a: i don't want to make it seem more glamorous than it is. i don't want to candy-coat it, because there certainly is a dark side to the escort / call-girl industry that exists and destroys people's lives. the common misconception is that that's all it is – that's it's all glamorous or it's all dirty, and it's all of the above. it's a well-rounded industry.

q: are clients expected to tip?

a: i never, ever demanded tips. i never encouraged or asked for tips. when you get to that price, it's kind of ridiculous to ask for more. when you're dealing with the lower end of the price spectrum, at that point, i think it is the norm, and i think it is good manners to tip a girl.

q: any regrets?

a: i wish i'the have had the wisdom that i have now when i was making the choices i was making then. i definitely would have done some things differently than i did then, because i experienced the consequences. but i still stand by my choices. i understand why i made them, i understand how i made them, i learned from them, and it's all good.

[GF Experience]

"a high end escort in bangalore speaks"

sex is too easy to get today. we live in a society where everything is easy, and that can be a turn-off. that's not what the men who contact me want. these are very wealthy and successful men, some from well-known companies, and they can get sex anywhere. they like to be challenged and want something more subtle, and the successful women in this business offer them that.

seduction is an endangered skill, and that's my favourite part of the process. when i interact with someone, even from the first email, what we are trying to do is seduce each other. it's like a dance. i use the term "companionship" for what i do, because there is a spectrum. on one side you have straightforward sex for money, and on the other you have full-blown relationships. i see myself as being somewhere along that continuum.

i charge inr 20, 000 / a day, and spend no less than two days with a client. i do it no more than once a month. i always take time to get to know the person first. we email, have lunch and talk on the phone. so i have never been in a situation where i have felt scared. we might go to a social or business event. they introduce me as their friend from wherever- or it might be more personal and romantic. they know that we're going to get some private time afterwards, but the sex is just the icing on the cake.

i have a social network of wealthy friends. i don't have a full-time job but i have things that i'm doing. the men prefer it that way, and it's important psychologically: you don't get too immersed in their world.

so much today is not clear. if you go on a date is the guy supposed to open the door for you or not? are you supposed to offer to pay? in this sort of relationship, each party's responsibilities are clearer. i enjoy that. men i go out with are very intelligent people, and it is a mutually stimulating environment.

i think it is a common female fantasy to be in this business. i get a lot of emails saying: "it's so exciting, i've always wanted to do it." anyone can do it but the numbers are against it: it's like wanting to be a ballet dancer. i always wanted to do it, since i was little. it was mysterious, and i like intelligent and influential men. the women in this business are quite influential, too. i've helped people close business deals. there is that free consultation component.

i had to learn myself. about two years ago, i saw the blogging phenomenon and thought, what can i do that's novel? i thought the business was sleazy, and i wanted to make it less so. my first time i was nervous, but we had fun and still keep in touch.

an escort needs a combination of talents. you don't need to be a supermodel. i'm a tall, slim, but there are more beautiful women out there. it can be intimidating for men if you are incredibly stunning. they want someone subtle, intelligent and well versed in life. they have to feel comfortable talking to you about anything, whether business or their family.

about 50 per cent are married. i've heard that sometimes their wives know. in a lot of cases they no longer have sex. surprisingly, some women feel less threatened if a man hires someone like me than if he had an affair with his secretary. i don't see what i do as wrong. if he's married then something is dysfunctional or some part of the relationship must be broken. maybe he can't get divorced because he's worth a crore rupees.

i do have relationships, with clients and others. it can be tricky. i think jealousy is a human trait, and a healthy one, so i treat it on a case-by-case basis. you have to judge at what stage to tell them. fundamentally i am a romantic person, and i don't feel that's a contradiction. i want to share as much of my life as i can with my partner, and eventually all of my life. i do want to get married. there is a strong romantic component to what i do: it's all about mystery and seduction. if we have a good time for a weekend then sometimes it is quite sad to leave.

i'm not worried that my future husband might be appalled by what i do. the men i get along with are typically very moral people but they have their own internal compass. it means they are a little unconventional, and that's why we have that fit. my past doesn't change who i am: it just makes me a little more colourful. recently, the majority of my [non-paying] partners have known what i do. or part of it. you don't have to tell everything.

my family don't know what i do, and i would prefer them not to. my close friends know. my ability to pull it off doesn't surprise them. they know i'm good at multi-tasking. and i don't think anyone has been shocked.

for me, this is a temporary thing, although i cannot put an exact date on when i will stop. it's a very good way to learn about people. what makes them happy and sad.

i have also changed my approach to wealth: i get to see extremely wealthy people and they face the same challenges as everyone else. it makes me more philosophical. it doesn't mean anything to have an apartment in bangalore and a house in mysore you may be locked into an unhappy marriage or not able to find a woman to share your life with. it actually becomes harder to date. you don't know who's genuinely looking for love and who's looking at your money. for lots of young, successful men, wealth above a certain level can be a barrier to a good relationship.

the reality is that the market for this is very small. it's kind of like a bell curve. most of the market is in the middle. straightforward sex for money. the higher end requires not just more money but more time. and in our society time is the most precious thing of all.

dear jackson,

why are we treated with such philosophical shyt on the forum where the basic idea is to share contacts and experiences. i would strongly urge you to remove such nonsense from the forum and let routine stuff go on. my two cents only, the choice is yours.

[GF Experience]

Why men are usually more interested in sexual variety than many women.

The Evolution of Love

The new and emerging field of evolutionary psychology tells us that love and sex are in our evolutionary history and our genes. Great is the power of nature over nurture.

Evolutionary psychology theorizes that behavior is mostly inherited and that every organism acts (consciously or not) to enhance its inclusive fitness-increasing the frequency and distribution of its genes in future generations.

What does evolutionary theory predict you should expect from your mates? Differences between males and females are explicable in terms of differential parental investment; the male contribution to reproduction (lots of sperm and a few minutes of work) is cheap, short and pleasurable; the female reproductive experience, however is long, dangerous, and painful. The best way for a male to maximize his inclusive fitness is to diversify his genetic portfolio (play the field) ; while the best way for a female to insure the survival of the baby she has invested so much in is to try and get that one guy to make as many contributions as possible.

In The Evolution of Human Sexuality in the light of evolutionary psychology's findings:

Men are inclined to multiple partners, whereas women are more flexible and may be equally satisfied in polygynous [one male-multiple females], monogamous, or polyandrous [one female-multiple males] marriages. Men are much more likely to be sexually aroused by the sight of women and the female genitals than women are by the sight of men and the male genitals.

Men base a woman's sexual attractiveness on her physical characteristics, especially youth. Women, on the other hand, find political and economic prowess sexier in men; youth is relatively unimportant.

The evolution of desire may also determine why we look the way we do, and what turns us on. The human breast consists of fat, not milk glands, and breast size varies greatly among human females without affecting their ability to nurse. Thus, the explanation cannot be based on the need to nurse infants. Rather, human female breasts are secondary sexual characteristics that evolved to attract mates. This took place along with the switch from dogstyle to missionary mating, the pendulous shape and cleavage of the breasts mimicking the previous attractiveness of the female buttocks.

And while we're at it, what other female attributes turn men on? All together now-"big breasts, silky skin, red lips, long legs – all on a young, nubile babe." Evolutionary theory posits that these features have served as cues to a female's reproductive and sexual viability over the course of time. In short, men have evolved to seek Porn Heaven-where "sex is sheer lust and physical gratification, devoid of more tender feelings and encumbering relationships, in which women are always aroused, or at least easily arousable, and ultimately are always willing". Evolution has insured the continuing success of the cosmetics, fashion, and pornography industries.

Finally, evolutionary psychology provides explanations for why we split up too. Monogamy is seen from the evolutionary perspective not as the norm but as the exceptional result of an increased level of social pressure."human beings in a variety of societies tend to divorce between the second and fourth years of marriage, with a divorce peak during the fourth year", Adultery, and Divorce. This four-year peak conforms to the traditional period between human successive births-four years. Like pair-bonding in species that mate only through a breeding season, human paired bonds originally evolved to last only long enough to raise a single dependent child through infancy, the first four years, unless a second child was conceived.

It seems to be a disappointment-that generations of love poems, songs, and epic plays all come down to evolution. But evolution's conclusions on love and sex aren't written in stone just yet. Skeptically examines the theories of evolutionary psychology and finds that for the most part, at this point, they are neither pseudoscience, nor hard science, but protoscience-science in the making. To become a true science, evolutionary psychology must put forth hypotheses that are capable of being critically disproven, rather than just reinforced or reconfirmed. Until that day comes.

[GF Experience]

Men Confesses.

Rajesh, lawyer.

I've been married once and I don't want to do that again. I don't want to get involved in another relationship. It would just complicate my life. This is an ideal solution. You know, males have their sexual needs and this takes care of them.

I can assure you this is a damn sight cheaper than wining and dining a woman, like men usually do. I would have to spend hours on all the bullshit you have to talk. This is good value. It's neat and tidy. You walk out the door and you're free. Physically, emotionally, in every way.

I probably come here once a fortnight, just a short visit, you know, in and out. I try to see the same woman each time, mainly because I like her. Gayathri has a nice personality. I find her attractive and her reactions are good. She satisfies my sexual needs. I reckon I must have been seeing her for about two and a half years. I'd follow her.

I think Gayathri enjoys the sex we have, because I always treat her well. But even if she wasn't enjoying it, it wouldn't put me off. As long as the reactions were OK, as long as she didn't start eating an apple or reading a book or something. That would be a bit off-putting. Short of that, I'm not bothered.

When I first decided to go to a prostitute, it was pretty traumatic because you're supposed to just walk in and get on with it. But as long as the female's responses are right, then that first anxiety is easy to overcome.

I came to brothels all through my marriage, even when I was having an affair. It wasn't that I wasn't being satisfied. I was. But males have an urge. Every now and then I have a need, a craving, for a different female.

Sex doesn't necessarily mean anything to a male. I mean, it might develop into something, but initially it doesn't mean anything other than sheer excitement. But I don't think women understand that.

Vikram. 23, computer programmer

Why am I here? I don't come here for the conversation, that's for sure. I walk in, pay my INR 10, 000 / and have a bloody good time. No questions asked. I don't care who I see or what she looks like as long as she isn't fat or horrible, and doesn't stink. She can be old, though not much older than, say. 35.

If I want to have good intercourse, or something a bit different, I can generally have it here. Seriously, women's bums are cute. I love them, and occasionally I want to screw them. There's nothing wrong with that, except not many girls will let you. They've got hang-ups about it being dirty, which it isn't, or that it might hurt.

I know that, within reason, there won't be any problem. That's the thing about paying money: you're the boss. The customer is always right.

The other thing about being here is that the sex is better, and that's a fact. It's always better with a working girl.

The only real problem with being with a working girl. And this is a minor one, but I'll say it. Is condoms. They always say you have to wear them. If I have GirlFriendss who want to use condoms, I say: "No way!" But in these places the girls supply them and it's the rules.

I've got a steady GirlFriends at the moment, pretty serious. She's Tamil, so my parents are happy. We'll probably get married. The only problem is sex. She was a virgin before me and she's a bit nervous about it and won't do a lot of things. But then you'd expect that. I would probably be suspicious if she was too eager or knew too much. It's nice, actually. Deep down, I don't like the idea of being with used goods.

I don't get embarrassed about coming here. Never have. My mates know about it; they come too. I don't tell my GirlFriends because it's different with women. Anyway, it's none of their business. It'll be the same when I'm married.

Rajneesh Reddy. 39, builder

In a way, I think this helps my marriage. Sometimes my wife doesn't want to have sex. It could start an argument. But I come here and that's it. We don't have an argument.

Tamil Selvan. 44, truck driver

I've been coming to parlours off and on for the past 20 years. I don't go to a different girl every time. If I have one I like, I stay with her. I don't know what it is about the girl I usually see here that attracts me. She's nothing like my wife. She's younger and smaller, and she does different things without whingeing. My wife won't do oral sex. She just reckons: "Yuck!" I can see her point there.

Being with these girls does make you feel pretty good as a bloke, as a lover I suppose. It's just a good feeling, a good physical sexual feeling. And paying for it doesn't take any of that away. I suppose I do think of myself as a good lover and I reckon that both of us are getting something out of it, not just me. I presume the women here would think that.

Maybe some of them enjoy being with me, maybe some don't. I don't know. I think I'd be able to tell if they didn't. Although I suppose it's only a job to them, isn't it? Could make it hard to tell. I'd hope the one I was with would enjoy it. She said she did. If I knew that she didn't like it, I wouldn't come back.

Rahul Kannan. 70, pensioner

My wife is deceased and I still have some sexual urges, so about once a month I contact to and see Simran. She's a very sweet young lady. I stay for about 20 minutes and spend about INR 5000. 00.

When my wife was alive, that was it for me. There were no other activities. I didn't look for it.

The sex I have here is fairly ordinary. Nothing kinky. None of the things you read about. I don't know if Simran physically enjoys what she does with me. If she enjoys some part of it or a portion of it, then it is more fulfilling for me.

I also like to talk with her a little. Not a lot; I'm aware that my life is very boring to her, but I'm interested in her and I like to hear how things are for her.

Raghu Raman. 36, public servant

When you get to my age and you've been engaged two or three times, you realise it's a waste of time trying to be with women. It's cheaper this way. With a wife and kids you have to feed, clean and clothe them. It's not worth it.

If I have a bit of free time, I come here about once a month. That's all. I have a different one every time, usually for just half an hour, just normal sex, that's all, nothing different. That means they give me a back rub, they give me oral sex and then they get on top and they have intercourse with me, and I have a good time.

But now it's getting like the women here think they can order me around, saying they won't do it without a condom. That was the final thing for me. Well, they're not my rules and I'm the only one who can protect me. In the end I found one who will take a little bit more money instead of using a condom. They've all got their price.

It might sound crazy, but this is really the only place where I feel I can be a man, the way men are supposed to be, without feeling guilty or that I'm a social misfit.

Satish Reddy. 26, banking loans officer

I would see a prostitute about once a month, sometimes more, depending on my own social life, which is pretty dull at the best of times.

This may sound horrible, but I consider sex to be a chore. The pleasure for me is more the back rub, because I can't do that myself. If I'm sexually frustrated, I can masturbate, it's no problem. But it's not all that much fun, is it? I mean, that is a chore, so it's preferable to be with someone else.

As far as sex goes, I don't feel I've ever satisfied a GirlFriends of mine, to be honest. I wouldn't know anyway, I really wouldn't. I'm not familiar with biology in any sense.

Some of the prostitutes I've been with have enjoyed it, though. I think they have. I hope so. I guess the truth is that women frighten me.

Ram. 43, business manager

I'm not so much into being beaten or whipped or tied up, as wanting the woman to be the person who calls the shots, so to speak. I am in a relationship where we are equals, even sexually, although I'm the one who has to initiate sex. I don't know why women are like that, and to be honest, it can be a bit of a drag always having to be the one who seduces.

Here, I know she wants it, because she is dictating the terms. I am the one who is submissive and I have to do what the woman wants. The actual woman. What she looks like or who she is. Is not important to me.

I come here about twice a month. It's part of my secret life. I don't actually want it to be so covert; I'd like to be able to tell people. I'm not ashamed of what I do here, but I know that they wouldn't see it as I do. My partner would just freak out. It's funny, because we've had conversations about prostitution in which she has spoken passionately about not judging the women or the men. She lectures in women's studies and I suppose she is philosophically geared to believing the sex industry should be free to operate. When she goes on about it, it's on the tip of my tongue to say: "I'm glad you feel like that, because I see a prostitute regularly." Obviously, I stop myself. I'm aware of the double standards we all live with.

Nilesh. 30, factory Officer

In the past six months I've been separated from my missus and I've only had sex three times. Women would think,"So what?" But men need it more. I think it's just part of nature. If you don't have sex for a while you sort of blow up.

[GF Experience]

Call girls in Bangalore and their prizes.

There is one we still can't quite get over: the staggering price of a high-end call girl. What service can anyone provide to justify up to INR 20, 000 / an hour?

Although sex is a unique commodity, it must still obey market principles of supply and demand. Prostitution market is exceptionally sensitive to large fluctuations in wealth and expectations, and so it might be considered a lagging indicator. I mentioned that while most people consider it an extremely undesirable job, on the high end "it can be quite lucrative and requires few skills (though a fair helping of unequally distributed natural endowments)."

"Inferior skills?", commented someone under the name Rajesh "Obviously, you have not visited one. To be able to command premium pricing an [sic] any market, a service must be superior."

The demand side:

What explains the enormous income gap between high-end prostitutes and ordinary streetwalkers or even typical working women? I decided to conduct a rather unscientific survey of potential consumers in an airport executive lounge. In conversations with several men-a professional White fields IT consultantat and several business executives-I asked why it was more attractive to pay a premium than to solicit a woman on Brigade Road, say. They all responded with groans and wincing."That is just sick and sleazy," one man said, nearly shivering with disgust."You could end up bringing home all sorts of diseases to your wife and it could be dangerous." Everyone hastened to clarify that these answers were based on hunches, not experience.

It seems purchasing sex is like buying Hydrabad Biryani from Taj it should come from a reputable provider. Meeting a woman in a clean, well-kept environment signals higher quality and lowers the risk of an infection substantially.

Some argue that such no-strings transactions are ultimately less harmful to both career and marriage than taking an aunty. The men at the airport lounge also pointed out that the premium buys discretion. But at these prices, it is difficult to avoid a paper trail. Mr. Rahul spent more than INR 15 Lac on high-end prostitutes in one year. That's a lot of bank withdrawals.

On this website of the service Mr Rahul (Our regular Clinet) patronised (which has since been disabled) , escorts were ranked with twinkly diamond ratings; higher rankings demanded a higher price. Given that the women all looked equally beautiful and delivered similar promises, I couldn't help but wonder what gave them their value. A colleague with some experience arranging escorts for clients (when he worked at a rather nefarious-sounding private- firm) explained that a higher price often meant that a woman was either especially talented and versatile (ie, would provide a wider range of services) , or simply more popular and experienced. I had been under the impression that this was a job in which seniority was undesirable. It depends on the woman, he said, just before emphatically denying ever using a call girl himself.

As with all things, a premium price signals quality. Men who seek out high-end prostitutes may question the value of a bargain. The industry feeds their narcissism and part of the fantasy is feeling special enough to purchase that multi-diamond woman.

The supply side:

The most obvious reason why high-end prostitutes can charge so much is that they are doing something illegal. Being arrested for prostitution will certainly hinder future earnings prospects in other industries. A premium fee is justified by the risks involved in working in an illegal industry, as well as the related stigma of being paid for sex.

[A] woman cannot be both a prostitute and a wife. Combine this with the fact that marriage can be an important source of income for women, and it follows that prostitution must pay better than other jobs to compensate for the opportunity cost of forgone marriage market earnings.

The women provide not only possess exceptional beauty, but also intelligence and sophistication. Some, are successful professionals in other high-profile industries. Though this last claim seems dubious, the women must be exceptionally attractive and sufficiently intelligent to hold a customer's attention. Unlike their low-end counterparts, high-end call girls are expected to supply some level of companionship, and often accompany clients to dinners or parties. Because a beautiful and intelligent woman inevitably has other job (and marriage) options, a very high wage is necessary to encourage them to forgo other opportunities, and risk arrest, disease and shame.

While INR 20, 000 / an hour may sound high, And escorts must spend a great deal maintaining their value without immediate compensation. Much time and money is spent on grooming: hair removal, expensive hair-cuts (one stylist in Indira Nagar I spoke to claims several of his clients are escorts, who spend at least INR 5, 000 a month on extensions and colour) and regular exercise. And maintain an expensive designer wardrobe. Frequent visits to the doctor are necessary to protect against sexually-transmitted diseases.

Ultimately, the decision to become a high-end prostitute is often not only an economic one, but is determined by a woman's attitude toward sex. For many women no amount of money would ever entice them into prostitution. You cannot deconstruct the economics of selling sex without acknowledging that, sadly, many women who enter the trade, even at the high end, have at some point in their lives been victims of abuse. Economic reasoning has little sway over how a woman values her body.

The market for sex ultimately determines a price like any other industry. Sex was one of the first goods ever traded. It commanded a price even before the days of British East India companies Coming to India, I look back on my post from a year ago and recognise my ignorance: high-end prostitutes do have a unique skill-set.

As Mr. Nilesh noted:

An unskilled and unenthusiastic provider (ie, acting skills) is not going to last long. It's not just about being born beautiful and laying there like a Duck.

[GF Experience]

it's a lonely road.

being an escort is a very lonely way to live.

surronded by men, but none who really knows you. no one who really cares about you.

escorts lose their family and friends. we either shock them into leaving us if they find out, or we get caught up in our world of secrets and lies that we slowly block people out, until we realize we are alone. maybe not physically, but alone.

we can't tell anyone what we do for work. we can't talk about our day, our clients. we can't share the funny or scarey stories with anyone. we can't sit down with our families and talk about how this all makes us feel.

we end up isolated, and there may be people around us, but it is different now because we can't open ourselves up to them anymore. we can't be ourselves, because we are doing something that no one wants to talk about. we can't be ourselves with our clients either. we have to perform a job, and that job is to be sweet and sexy and completely focused on him. noone wants an angry escort, or one crying because her boyfriend beat her up.

even after leaving the business, they are our secrets to keep. our memories, our stories, that we can't share with people we care about.

its loneliness. it makes you guarded, and cautious. normal conversations, normal get togethers, become tricky. lying gets hard, and always having to hide the truth is harder.

i get so many emails from those who have worked, just to tell me a story, just to get something off their chest and feel the relief of having been able to talk to someone. i love that they can write to me. and it breaks my heart because i know how hard it is to live that way.

of course the main difference is the money.

"regular" work means knowing that you will work everyday, all day, for less than what you would make in a few hours escorting. theres just no getting around it. high end escorts earn more than lawyers, doctors, and most middle class.

it takes alot of strength to leave escorting because of the financial reasons.

alot.

i still struggle with it.

why? its not greed, it's because i know i can pull off escorting, and i choose not to, and in doing so, i will continue to be in debt, my children will not have a college fund, its not that i want to retire by age 35, its that i want the stability and security that came from making huge amounts of money. i want my children to have what they would have if their fathers helped me. and that is not an option working a regular job.

yes i know it is the right thing to do. does it make it any easier to know that? hell no.

the other issue is one that many working girls have related to me via email. we seem to give off some vibe. maybe it's in our heads, but i don't think it is. there is a tension with the other women. is it jealousy? is it that we know we are hiding something and therefore seem guarded / bitchy to the normal women? i don't know.

then there are the guys.

the guys gawking over you, always staring- like we give off some sex vibe without knowing it. is it the guilt? is it knowing how much we could be charging them and they sense the possibility? again, i don't know what it is, but we as a group feel awkward going back into normal lines of work.

maybe it is the aftermath of the job. the guilt, the secrecy, the shame. we have such a wall up that it wouldn't be possible to be ourselves with our co-workers.

"what did you do before coming here?" ummmm i sold myself.

"why do you want to work here" i really don't, but its the right thing to do.

"what skills do you think you would bring to this job" you don't want me to answer that. .

and then there is the time. i was so used to doing whatever i wanted all day. i worked when i wanted, and had so much free time. now my days are accounted for. scheduled. wake up- get there on time, work until dark, pick up the kids, try to make dinner and say hi to them before bed, clean the house, throw in some laundry, pay some bills. i feel like a robot, just doing what i need to do day after day with no joy. i guess this is what real life is like, but after escorting, it's really hard to adjust to.

there is always the thought in the back of my head that i should just quit, i can go out once a week and earn the same amount. i miss the time i had with my kids. i miss being outside in the sun. i miss thet v. i miss the days. i feel like i was a better mother as an escort- how crazy is that?

but i wasn't. i always had to hide, and lie. and now i can be honest, and proud of what i do. i don't have to like it, i just have to do it. kinda like escorting, but without all of the dangers of being out there.

is it worth it? yes, it is. it is hard and some days i want to quit, but it is worth it. i am safe, and i only have sex with the person i love, and only when i want to. ill know i'll never be like the other women at the office, but maybe someday i won't feel so alien around them.

porn.

porn porn porn.

it's everywhere, its a huge business. and i never really thought about it until i stopped escorting.

i never minded porn, if my boyfriend wanted to watch it, okay. i never liked the hard core stuff, but the regular movies could be a turn on.

then i became an escort. and sex became a job. and then i could no longer imagine that the people in the porn industry enjoyed their jobs. i couldn't pretend the people on the screen cared about each other.

i've also began to ruin porn for my current boyfriend, so i have to make myself stop talking when he watches it, because there is something still cute about his innocence, his getting turned on by watching it. and i don't want to ruin that for him.

watching porn does nothing for me now. if anything, it pisses me off.

now i notice the woman's faces. i used to say to my boyfriend, look at her face, she is not enjoying that- it is fake. or. look, she is in pain, look at her face. maybe that's the problem, guys don't really look at the women's faces. having been there, i can see it. the empty looks at the camera. the painful winces that flash by. the slight look of resentment towards the men, towards each other.

porn sucks once you have been bought.

it opens your eyes to things most people don't see, or choose to ignore.

i know why the women are there. they need the money, and now it is out there to be regretted and for the world to see. i can't stand the movies that don't use protection. it is so unsafe, and just so disrespectful to the women. the facial scenes make me extra sick. i feel so bad for those women. so many different people, so many risks involved.

the fake noises, the fake expressions, the weird positions women are squished into for the sake of some man on a couch at home. the multiple men at one time, the backdoor thing- its not fun, it hurts. i have never done either, but i can tell you it hurts. it is all so sad to me now to watch it being done to someone else- and thats not even beginning to address the torture videos out there.

porn used to be fun to watch, now all i can think is i wish that guy would hurry up so she can be done. i know that is what the woman on the screen is thinking as well. please please hurry up.

the next time you watch a xxx movie, watch her face. tell me if you see it now or not.

someone explain men to me please!

you would think i would get it by now- and i definately understand men alot more now than i did before-

why why why. what is it with the teen thing?

what is the obsession with sex? i love sex- would i go after a teen boy? nfw.would i jeapordize a relationship by cheating? nope. would i risk stds and all that other good stuff- no.

what is it? is it the naughty aspect- is it the not getting caught? is it watching their faces / bodies while they are in the act? do they feel powerful the more women they have, the younger they are?

escorting makes you relate to the sex drive, and the empty relationships and the desire aspects, but what drives the recklessness?

i have always been an adamantly opposed to fake breasts.

i don't know why. i had several friends that had gotten them done, and i just could never understand why. why would you want to do that to yourself? for men? ugh.

plus i thought they looked ridiculous, and to go under the knife to get there? why were all these women trying to look alike? we had enough barbies roaming around, and i took a stand with pink, making fun of all the "stupid girls"

cutting to the chase, i am getting implants next month, thanks to a generous boyfriend obsessed with breasts.

i know, i know but before you send me a million emails trying to change my mind- listen to my reasoning. (does my reasoning make sense to anyone who hasn't worked in the industry? lol)

before escorting, i never thought about breast augmentation, it just never occurred to me to do something like that, it seemed absurd. the girls i knew who had it done, frankly, i teased them brutally.

you would think that escorting made me want to get them bigger, but actually the opposite is true. most men are stereotyped as obsessed with large breasts, and yes there are some, but the truth is, the majority like real. big, small, squishy or not, they prefer the real you. i was always small. it never affected my work as an escort, in fact i did really really well. i was me, imperfections and all, and i never had any complaints. i wasn't turned away, even though i wasn't the girl in the picture's, and my clients i had independently adored me. they knew who i was, and i had more than enough regulars.

noone ever said i should get my boobs done.

in fact, sometimes when they were complimenting me, or if i was just curious, i would ask, and the answer was 99% no. some would even say "no please please don't. there are way to many fake girls out there, you are beautiful now" and on and on. and the constant praise and the lifestyle boosted my self esteem (about my body anyway) and i thought i was hot. tons of guys always telling you that will convince you. rich guys, tough guys, sappy guys, they all told me the same thing. i was hot.

then i stopped escorting. my boyfriend is super sweet, but he is obsessed with big boobs. at first i was like- whatever! look all you want, but after awhile, and without the constant reassurance from everyone else, i started to feel like crap. in his business he has several huge boobed women that he chose for certain public appearances. he stares at the big boobs everywhere we go. eventually it got to me.

i went from being the girl everyone wanted to somehow not feeling pretty enough for the one guy i chose to be with. hmmmmm. i've never dated a big boob guy, my ex's all liked other things, and definitely wouldn't stare at other women whatever they liked, so i feel sooo ugly nowadays. it seems that i went from the spotlight- money, gifts, compliments- to the back of a closet surrounded by women my boyfriend would rather have.

anyway, that's my story. i'm going to meet the surgeon next week. ill let you know how it goes!

hopefully who aren't working yet, or who are not too caught up in the lifestyle to get out.

if you need the money, and you can manage to escort, then being a sugarbaby is a way better option than escorting.

for those that don't understand, a sugardaddy is usually wealthy, older, and married. they are bored or arrogant, or both, and want to spoil a younger girl. its basically the same as escorting, only safer.

a sugarbaby spends time with him, sex is usually there, but its also alot about company. they want to be around someone fun and new and interesting. of course you have to look good, and be sweet.

that said, i think it is a way better option. morally, its the same as escorting, don't let it get taken to a new level because you get to know each other and start to feel badly for his circumstances, he would be doing it another way if a sugarbaby wasn't around.

a good sugardaddy will pay you an allowance, usually between 5-10, 000 a month, and you agree upon how much time is spent together depending on your schedules. you go shopping, get gifts, have dinners, and of course sex. but its not a meet at a hotel and get it on kind of thing, its like fake dating without any of the emotional crap. its business.

my sugardaddy is now my long term super fabulous boyfriend. we hit it off right away, and a few months in decided to end our "agreement" and start really dating.

i adore him, and we are very lucky, but i wouldn't go into a sd / sb agreement expecting to end up dating, its not the norm.

like i said, most of the time they are married.

if you keep it business, it can work really well. you both get what you want and need. there are plenty of sd's out there, so don't settle for the first one you meet with. i interviewed tons of losers before i met a match. you have to connect for it to work out, or your going to go nuts.

it can be alot of fun, but i think the hard part is when feelings come into play, on either side. if it is kept as a business arrangement it is perfect. when one starts to cross the line, it can get sticky. my prior sd was awesome. mr satish reddy he was super rich, cute, and funny. we got along great, even though he was pretty boring and arrogant towards other people, he was different with me. he made me feel like a princess, which was his job, and i helped him have fun and loosen up a little. we had amazing dates, trips, anything i wanted or mentioned he got, we had alot of fun together.

but. then he started to want more, and i didn't. i liked our arrangement, he wanted more. it made me uncomfortable, because i did care about his feelings, but it just wasn't an option for me, and so when i would meet with him, and he would ask why or talk about different "couple" things, i would get uncomfortable. i couldn't be my happy fun self knowing i was hurting his feelings.

so it had to end.

that's my sd experience, and yes i met alot of losers along the way, the cheap ones, the want unsafe sex ones, the liars. if they mention sex at all, just like with escorting, walk away. the nice guys won't do that. there is a certain behavior that is understood, and if they mention sex just tell them to go find an escort and walk away.

also, it is business. i would not give out my real name, or anything that could identify me. i just wouldn't do it. if he is buying a plane ticket, have him send you the money and you book it. always keep in mind, this is not really dating, its business. there is a wife somewhere that probably wouldn't be too nice if she found out. there are guys who can be really nice, but flip when they get angry. always stay safe, and if you have to consider escorting, i would think about finding a sd instead.

there are lots of websites set up just for this, just google sugardaddy, or email me and i can send you some.

* oh- and not to leave out the guys completely, be careful when choosing a sb, my boyfriend has some not so funny stories about the girls before me.

'

bad dates- naked in the halls and the crack smoker.

i thought i'd share a couple of bad date memories that come to mind. i may have mentioned some of them in previously, if so i'm sorry.

i had a two girl show with my friend at a very nice hotel. i think this was either the second or third time i went out with her. so i was still clueless. we went in and met the guy, who was very nice. he said i could stay (of course). he was married, traveling on business, the usual. we smalled talked him for awhile and pretended to drink his beer, than proceeded to play a little. my friend and i were now in almost nothing. she batted her eyes and said "aren't you going to take a shower for us?" which was odd, but he did. as soon as he shut the bathroom door, she grabbed everything she could and just said "run!"

i was like wtf? now i'm almost naked running after her in the hall of a 5 star hotel in mg road. she was cracking up, i was scared to death. she ran to the nearest stairwell and tossed me my clothes, dressing as she went down the stairs. i just kept saying we should go back, hes going to kill us, hes going to come after us- but she wasn't worried. she called the driver as we ran down the stairs and he was at the door when we came out- still shoeless.

she thought it was the funniest thing ever. i was pissed. i was embarrassed, scared, and her reason was she was bored and wanted to get out of there. i felt bad for the guy, she had taken his wallet and cell phone, and he was traveling.

looking back it is kind of funny now, but at the time i could've killed her.

the crack guy.

this one is not so funny.

i had gone on a call alone, no driver, with the agency. as soon as i pulled up to the house i had a bad vibe, but i trusted the new agency i was with. the guy didn't answer his phone, so i had to try and knock on the door, except he had a very tall fence and the handle was rusted so it was very hard to open. i couldn't do it. he came out and let me in.

when i went in, the house was gross. not bachelor unclean gross, more like, something is not right gross. we small talked a bit and he asked if we could go for a walk to the beach, he lived next to the ocean. i said yes, thinking it would pass the hour faster, but as soon as we started i got a really bad vibe, the hair on my neck was standing up, and my head was yelling not to go, and so i told him it was too cold. he was acting strange, not nervous like a newbie, but nervous like he was trying to get away with something. we went back into the house, and usually there was a very basic order of things, small talk, money, go change and check in, and then whatever. but he wouldn't shut up, he was going a mile a minute.

so when i missed my check in call with the agency she called of course. she said to call back after i was settled. again, i couldn't because he was pacing and talking nonstop. i tried to go use the bathroom to call the agency, but there was no door on the bathroom, in fact, there were no doors at all, only to come in. i was screwed. he lights up a crack pipe looking like thing. i don't do drugs, but this was something that i had seen in movies or on cops, and it stunk, and i was freaked.

i had met guys with drugs alot, and i never liked those conditions, but usually they were older businessmen who offered a line that i declined and never saw, this was different.

i told him i had to call in, so he wouldn't freak if he saw me on the phone. i whispered to the agency to get me out of there, because he was smoking crack. i was afraid either he would flip, or that i would get high off of the fumes (if that's possible)

she said to make the best of it, there was nothing she could do. what? wtf am i giving you half of my money for then? the other agencies always tried something to help, but she was like- sorry, your on your own.

and so i brainstormed while this crackhead paced around talking in riddles blaring porn on his tv, looking at me like he just got out of prison and telling me all the nasty things he plans to do to me.

there is no backdoor. theres only the gate. the mind goes into survival mode, and no i wasnt in immediate danger, but i certainly wasnt going to wait around for him to do any of the things he was talking about.

i told him i needed to get an outfit out of my car. i told him how much fun we were going to have and he better be ready and blah blah blah, and i calmly smiled and walked out slowly, and i fought that fence latch as hard as i could, and when i got to the car i was shaking so hard i could hardly get the key in. i thought for sure he would jump in a car and follow me, shoot at me, something. but he didn't. i got out.

i did cave and go a few months ago- and i quit.

let me explain why.

i decided to go see someone because i was going mental, wanting to work, knowing it was a bad choice, blah blah blah.

and so i found someone who had experience working with girls like me, she was very well trained. she was an older woman, very kind, she made me feel very comfortable.

well, as comfortable as i could possibly get in that situation i suppose.

the first couple of times i met with her were fine, very casual. i hated knowing she was just letting me warm up, i hate the obvious, if that makes sense to anyone. i could see and tell what she was doing and why.

then she began to inquire about my past. my insane family, my absent father, my childhood [CodeWord126], why i cut ties with everyone related to me. then relationships, the abuse, the one who left me pregnant. i answered all of her questions. the issue was that i was too matter of fact for her liking. she said i seemed void of emotion, discussing such "tragedies". well, okay but thats me, its in the past, i don't see any point in crying and feeling like crap now, what good does that do?

she said i was a boiling pot with the cover on, and eventually the emotions would boil.

okay, i can see the analogy, but i thought it was lame. i told her i preferred not to dwell on my past, i see no good that can come of it. i live in the present.

so she agreed to put the past off for awhile. we began to talk about my current boyfriend. she did not like him, well not so much him as "us". i guess because i had met him as a sugar daddy, and he wasnt yet divorced, she just didn't think it was good. i tried to make her understand that it was because of him that i had quit escorting, and that i loved him very much and all was good, but she didn't buy it.

she thought he was controlling, based on our situation, and she said we don't do what normal couples do (talk about kids, marriage, joint money stuff- that kind of thing) she said we were very seperate people, more like roomates. i could see why, but he is everything to me, so i really didn't want to hear it.

i just wanted her to tell me if i should go back to escorting or not.

but she wouldn't.

she told me my childhood [CodeWord123] had set me on a course to escorting and empty relationships. she said until i let out all the grossness of my childhood that i would stay on the path.

this was bullshit- i do not like being labeled and on a path, yes my relationships have sucked, but the escorting wasnt always there, it was a last resort.

i finally just stopped showing up. i felt really bad, i wanted to go, but i didn't want to hear anymore about my boyfriend, or my past. i just wanted her to say it was morally okay to work if i had to, and she refused to say one way or the other. she said she legally couldn't. that was a cop out to me.

it was freeing to be able to talk about escorting with someone who seemed to understand while i could. she didn't look at me with judgement, or lecture me. she said she was proud of me for being so strong. she said she had never met anyone who had been through as much as i had, who could still sit calmly and smile. she was dumbfounded she said, with how i kept myself together. her amazement at my personality was flattering at first. i was proud- i said damn! thats right, look at me and what i've been through and i overcame, but that lasted about 5 minutes, and while i was driving home, i started to feel bad. i started to think of how unfair life has been, and what i have been through is horrible, and maybe i'm not as composed as i want to pretend i am.

i think thats where she was trying to get me to go- maybe i shouldn't have quit. now i just have to wonder *smile*

she always said if she writes a book she would have to include my story, lets see, maybe she will write the ending for me.

be have had extremely poor choices in men in the past, i fully admit that.

i am in a relationship now, but that's what this post is about. (ill write about him when i can confirm he hasn't found this site yet)

i wanted to share with you the story of getting involved with the wrong person in this business, and the devastation that followed.

he came in as a client. he was cute and charming, but so were alot of them and i didn't think much about it. i was all set with men and dating anyway, i liked being single and wasn't looking to change that.

anyway, he comes in again and makes a big fuss about how he couldn't wait to come back and how much he liked me and on and on. he showed me pictures of his kids, and told me his was in the military. for some reason, my friend liked him. her number one rule was never never date a client. you just didn't do it, but she persuaded us to hang out sometime.

now there had been much nicer, much richer, much better men that had asked me out, and it was always just "no".so why i was dumb enough this night is one of those things ill never figure out. his persistence, her encouragement, and i guess my low self esteem and isolation was the mixture that let him into my world.

huge mistake.

a few weeks in he quits his job. my friend then let him play bodyguard for awhile, but she feels something is not right about him. the other bodyguard agrees. they eventually banned him, and a few weeks later my friend and i had a fight, and i cut ties with her.

now it was just him and i. it was strange, but it seemed to work. he would drive and protect me, i would pay him. we were dating, so it was strange to me that he was okay with this, but he was. over time i learned the darker side. he wasn't just helping me, he was obsessed with the lifestyle.

he convinced me to close my business. i was so tired at that point, i was never sleeping, working crazy hours, and he was the only person i talked to, and so i agreed. he pointed out that i can make in a day what i made in a week of business. yes he was right, but that was mistake #1.

once i closed the business, he wanted me to work more. when i was tired and didn't feel like it, he would talk me into it. he would do all the driving and safety he said, all i had to do was the show. easier said than done.

i ended up having to move, and had been planning for years to move across the country. i had always wanted to move there and here he was willing to go with me. it seemed like a good idea.

once we moved, . i never considered him a pimp at the time, and in a way he wasn't, but he was as close as you could get. he went from saying i should work more- to you have too.we need the money. he loved having me as a trophy and i always had to look perfect, even when i wasn't working.

he became obsessed with sex, he always was, but i saw it clearly now. he wanted monitors so he could listen in to the sessions. he said it turned him on. he would ask graphic details, always wanting to know more. he fantasized about men being rough with me, and he told me how much he liked to imagine this or that and wanted to be able to hear it. i was disgusted, and scared. even my clients who knew i had a boyfriend couln't imagine how he could let me do that kind of work, if they only knew. he wanted sex before and after each client. he always wanted sex, and i would give in because he was so overpowering. he would insist until i gave in, or start a fight, and he would always make it clear that he would tell the kids what i was doing during a fight, so as strong minded as i was- he had me where he wanted me.

he masturbated listening to sessions- it was gross. then came the party. he insisted that i accompany him because single guys couldn't get in alone. i went but i hated it. so he would go in and do whatever with whomever, i was the ice princess who made it very clear that if anyone touched me i would freak.

i didn't think it could get much worse. he was fiercely jealous of my upscale clients. he would prefer that i see 5 "normal priced" clients instead of select wealthy ones that he decided payed too much attention to me. he was obsessive, never more than a few feet away from me except when i was working. he would literally even stand outside the bathroom at home. when we argued he would threaten to kill me, or tell everyone what i was doing. he knew i needed him, for help, for protection, and he used that to get what he wanted- money, clothes, whatever he wanted he got.

i was stuck- with no family to call, no friends nearby, and across the country from anything i knew. i needed help, and so i called an old friend who convinced me i had to leave him, and she sent her male friend down to help that happen.

i thought it would be okay once he was gone. i imagined my children and i in this beautiful place, restarting my business and leaving escorting. i had several upscale clients that i had confided in, and they offered to help financially, so that i could return to normal. this was my lifelong dream, i had worked for years to get to this location, and i had found the perfect house, the perfect community.

and then the consequences of meeting him came flooding in. once i ended it with him, the war was on in his eyes. ultimately i lost my home, my children, had to move back across the country to get them back. he broke into my bank account and stole a ton of money. he cancelled my flights back and forth.

he called everyone i had ever know and told them what i did, and where i was. he also told me not to sleep, because he would always find me. he would call and tell me what pajamas i had been wearing so i would know he had been outside the windows. it was just insane.

he told the childrens fathers what i was doing-and then lied to make it all seem horrible. they took me to court and ordered to move back.

i was later told that his plan was to remove the kids, and he would have me to himself. i would never, ever choose a man over my children. i had to pack as much of my things as i could, to move back and regain custody of my children.

i believe that whatever piece of soul i had left was killed that day. i flew back to my dream home and just collapsed. i remember i just crumpled into a ball and sobbed harder than i ever knew possible. everything i had worked for, everything i had done, it all hit me. my friend carried me into the house, where i lay sobbing for two days while they packed my things into a uhaul. i could not cry hard enough it seemed to ease the hurt. then they picked me back up and put me on a plane to return home.

i had nothing. i had no home, no kids, and a inr 300, 000 legal battle ahead to get them back.

pretty glamorous huh?

i also didn't have a job, and so guess where i had to go, completely alone now.

i don't write in this site to play victim, or somehow justify my choices to myself, i write this in the hopes that one person may read this and get out, or never start this kind of work. its not worth it.

[GF Experience]

Satyriasis And Nymphomaniacs.

1. No Boys Allowed.

Did you know that the term nymphomania only applies to females? The male counterpart is called satyriasis. Both words are inspired by Greek mythology: nymphs are 'minor deities represented as beautiful maidens' and satyrs are 'woodland creature[s] depicted as having the pointed ears, legs, and short horns of a goat and a fondness for unrestrained revelry. ' I guess that's where the term 'horny' comes from?

Why are we all familiar with the term 'nympho' and not 'satyro'? Is it because a woman who is unable to control her sexual desires is more exciting or more newsworthy than a man with the same problem? More likely, it's because a willingness to engage in constant sexual activity is considered normal when it comes to men. In fact, historically, the female problem of nymphomania has been taken much more seriously than the male counterpart. Treatments have included 'cold baths, bromide sedatives, cauterization and, yes, clitoridectomy'

2. Too Much Of A Good Thing?

The book 'Nymphomania, A History' describes how doctors feared that 'eating rich food, consuming too much chocolate, dwelling on impure thoughts, reading novels, or performing 'secret pollutions' (masturbating). Overstimulated women's delicate nerve fibers and led to nymphomania. ' They were so worried about these delicate nerve fibers that 'one critic even feared that the use of the speculum itself might so excite a woman's passions that it could cause nymphomania'!

3. It's All In Her Head.

The same book quoted above also states that Phrenologists of the same time period thought 'an enlarged cerebellum. Indicated inordinate sexual appetite. ' A visit to phrenology. Org confirms that there are still people who believe in this study of head shapes. Phrenologists believe that 'the faculty concerned with physical love and sexual attraction [is] on the lower back of the head, behind the ears. ' The bigger your cerebellum, the bigger the back of your head- meaning you literally has too much sex in the brain. In contrast, The Encyclopedia of Psychology states that 'scientists now recognize that the shape of the skull does not relate to the shape of the brain. '

If you're a nymphomaniac you can decide for yourself: is that bump on the back of your head from your enlarged cerebellum or from repeated knocks against headboards, car interiors, and airplane bathroom walls?

4. Yesterday's Nymphomaniacs Are Today's Sex Addicts.

The term 'nymphomaniac' or 'nympho' is no longer recognized in the medical world. According to health. Discovery. Com 'the term. Is not scientifically meaningful simply because there are no specific criteria that would define a nymphomaniac. In other words, there isn't a way to determine how much sexual desire or activity is too much. ' Instead, a person whose sex drive is obsessively high is called 'hypersexual. ' Other words used are 'sexual addiction' and 'compulsivity. '

No longer used by medical professionals, the term nymphomaniac is still in use in our vocabulary. Urbandictionary. Com defines a nymphomaniac as 'a horny girl. Not to be confused with **** or skank where one's sexual dignity is pathetically low, nymphomania is simply related to an abnormally high sex drive. '

Abnormal is the key word here. Research has shown that only 'about 8% of the total population of men and 3% of women are sexually addicted [nymphomaniacs]' (allpscyh. Com).

5. Nymphos Are Sick.

In the past, both doctors and the patients who sought medical help believed that strong sexual desire in a woman was a symptom of disease. Self-control and moderation were central to the health of both men and women, but women's presumably milder sexual appetite meant that any signs of excess might signal that she was dangerously close to the edge of sexual madness. '

Headlines still support this belief that one false step will send a 'normal' woman spiraling into an over-sexed state.

In recent case, a nymphomaniac became the victim of her doctor's inappropriate bedside manner; he lost his license when he started paying house calls to his nymphomaniac patient. ('Indian-origin doc gets deregistered for having sex with 'nymphomaniac' patient',

6. Nymphomaniacs Are Not Great GirlFriendss.

A nymphomaniac GirlFriends might only be great material for a movie, a letter to Playboy, or a fantasy. Real life isn't as fantastic: at worst they have a serious medical condition; at best they are exhausting.

'Get what you can out of your relationship with a nymphomaniac woman – and be prepared to cut your losses in a hurry, and move on. Sleep with her quickly, and then vanish into thin air as if you were never there to begin with. '

What lovely advice! I'm sure all of you single ladies out there want this gentleman's phone number.

7. Nymphomania Is a Sin.

Nymphomania is not condoned. 'Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it bring forth death' provides straightforward advice for 'men and women of all walks of life who struggle with addictions to pornography, masturbation, cybersex, and similar sexual practices. ' There are also sites specifically for women.

'There's the idea of a negative path to God. Instead of doing good, you do really bad. And arguably sin is a better path because you learn more deeply what it is you're dealing with. They say the worst sinners make the greatest saints.

8. Nymphomania Is Not A Sin.

'The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform'– And some see nymphomania as a route to redemption or a celebration of marriage. 'To teach married women to walk in sexual freedom with their husbands. '

'There is not really any 'good' and 'bad' there are just actions that bring us greater happiness and those that bring us greater pain, ' Addiction, including sexual addiction (for our purposes, nymphomania) is 'seen as an overactive desire sense, that has gone way beyond normal.

9. Its Not All Fun and Games.

While the idea of nymphomania has its obvious attractions, it can actually be very dangerous (and expensive). Also, while celebrity sex addicts make headlines and it all seems very exciting, I think it's important to note that '60% of sexual addicts were abused by someone in their childhood. '

Here are some negative consequences of sexually compulsive behavior:

Exposure to sexually transmitted diseases.

Debt.

Legal problems.

Damaged relationships (marriage, friends, family)

Interference with your work and social life.

Loss of reputation.

Vulnerability to anxiety and depression.

10. Nymphomaniacs Don't Even Enjoy Sex?

'I need sex for a clear complexion, but I'the rather do it for love. '

Think about it, if you are compelled to do something frequently, do you enjoy it? I mean, I love eating chocolate as a treat, but if that's all I did all day long I think I'the get bored of the flavor pretty fast! So what if you can't stop eating chocolate, even though you know you're hurting loved ones, your career, spending all your money, and possibly even sending yourself straight to hell?

'For many addicts, becomes a way to numb out painful feelings, kill time or stop feeling lonely, 'When Sex Becomes An Addiction.

[GF Experience]

Incall VS Outcall.

This is a tricky questions, but people keep asking me which is better, so here goes.

I'll just list a few basis pros and cons of each- you decide what would be best for you.

Incalls- Some say these are safer. You are in your own surroundings, there are no hidden dangers. You can hide protection where you need it. You can screen people upon arrival and decide whether or not to let them in. You can relax between appointments.

Never never do incalls from where you are staying. I don't care how long you have known a client or how much you trust them, any relationship can go bad, and this is not one you would want to have knowing where you live, just don't do it.

If you do get an apartment, go big. Go for where there is already alot of foot traffic so it won't be as noticeable. Try to avoid places that have a lot of kids, just because.

The downside is if you get ONE LOSER to visit, as I did, you will have to move.

Hotels- A better bet, but you need to continually move. I have seen girls get comfortable at an extended stay type of thing and get busted. Also, go for the big indoor hotels, not the small ones with individual doors outside. People will notice the foot traffic.

Incalls- Never tell them the exact location until you can see them and get a vibe. Direct them to the parking lot, or street. Don't just give an address and apt number, or hotel and room number.

OUTCALLS-

Outcalls are easier because you go to them, but dangerous because you never know what you are walking into. There could be someone else in the house (happened to me many times) , weapons hidden, you get what I'm saying. Hotels are at least safer than a private residence because, to be blunt, there will be someone to hear you scream. Of course with hotels, you are noticed. There were doormen at several of the 5 star hotels that would smile each time I arrived, sometimes more than once on the same night. They notice.

Doing outcalls, hopefully you always go far enough away from where you live- you have to find something to do during the downtime. This is while working for an agency, when you are on call for the night and waiting for the next appointment. This will suck after awhile.

I preferred incall while I was working, just because I had other girls there, and a bodyguard in the next room. It was alot more fun during the downtime than sitting in a parking lot all dressed up with nowhere to go in the middle of the night. The outcalls were fun in a way because it was adventurous. It sucked because I was always afraid but never showed it of course.

You have to decide what works best for you, just stay safe. Take the steps to protect yourself at all times.

[GF Experience]

To my old clients.

A final farewell. Maybe I'm seeking closure tonight.

To most of the clients, the one time dates and the repeat customers who bought me without ever acknowledging who I might really be- or how what I was doing was affecting me, I can say that I truly resent you. I resent myself more, but you played your role too. Maybe you were fooled by the smiles. Maybe you were just too caught up in your need to realize the effect you would have. But you did have an effect on me. I can't remember your faces, or our encounters- but I remember the feelings I had, and they suck.

To the ones who cared, I am torn between hating you for still buying my body, and being thankful to you for being nice to me. For seeing me regularly so I did not have to meet with so many strangers. For asking me how I was doing, why was I in this business, and when would I stop. You still bought me, and used me for your gratification, but you offered a smidge of kindness at a time when I craved any bit I could get, and so I guess I do have to be thankful for that. Thank you to the ones who tried to convince me to stop, to leave my boyfriend who was pushing me to escort, or to at least plan financially so I could stop soon.

I didn't have any family by that point. I didn't have any friends, so I am ashamed to say that sometimes I looked forward to our visits. Not because I wanted to touch you. I didn't. But I needed human interaction, attention, conversation. I needed to get away from the boyfriend you all glared at sitting in your driveway. You were right. No one who really cared about me wouldve let me do that, they wouldn't have been able to sit outside knowing. I didn't believe you at the time. I thought you were just trying to date me. But you were all older than me, and in better places, and I'm sure you could see it better than I could.

I wasn't really there during our meetings- and I know I faked it really well. But I couldn't tell you apart. I just wanted you to feel comfortable with me, and for you to think I was happy. I don't know why I owed you that protection from my real feelings. Maybe I didn't want the pity. I was still trying to convince myslelf I was okay, and to be honest I was so wrapped up in my own world that I would never have really let any of you in.

And so thats it. To those of you who thought they knew a piece of the real me- you didn't. I lied. I lied about family, kids, ages, jobs. I told you what you needed to hear. To those who traveled from far away multiple times a month, I didn't think about you until I knocked at your door. It is just now that I am realizing you may have planned and looked forward to our visits. Sorry.

I was scared and lonely, and very very hurt. Thats who I was. I wanted to go home and curl up and watch tv. I wanted to get married and have babies with someone who loved me. I wanted, desperately, to be loved. I hated escorting, and if you had offered me a regular job for you instead of sex, you would have seen a real smile from me.

Shreya Reddy In Marthalli

[GF Experience]

sex life money escorting and family.

what is the life of a high-priced call girl really like? what sort of man is a typical client? how much does she make?

gayathri a native of ooty in tamil nadu, was a 24-year-old aspiring actress in 2004 when she started working in kolly wood, and she to day working as

q: why did you become an escort?

a: i was struggling, a starving actress, living in ooty, trying to succeed. the option was presented to me. i weighed the pros and the cons. i decided to try it once to see if it was something i could handle. it was,

q: how much did you make?

a: an escort makes as much money as she can possibly make for herself. the average escort in bangalore city could estimate makes between inr 10, 000. 00 / an hour. it can be a great living for a certain amount of time. you have to be in escorting with a good agency where the split ratio is much lesser than other agenct and the relaibility and confidatiality factor is better with these people, make your money and get out. the most money i personally ever made as an escort was either inr 20, 000. 00 / an hour with a two-hour minimum, or inr 75, 000 for one weekend.

q: was it a good weekend?

a: oh, my gosh, it was amazing. we went to megha malai near thekakdy in tamil nadu it was amazing. it was unbelievable. it was a fairy tale.

q: how much does the service make?

a: my agency organizes the appointments, which is either over the telephone or the internet — then it's split 20-80 between the girl and the agency.

q: what did you carry in your purse?

a: i used to have this recurring nightmare where i'the be walking into this gorgeous hotel like the taj, and all of a sudden i would slip and fall in my four-inch heels, go tumbling across the carpet, and with me would go the contents of my purse, which were as follows: 1000 / rupee notes, condoms, lube, and then makeup, cell phone and all the other girl things. it was that moment of mortification of my life being exposed for the world to see, because a girl's life is in her purse.

q: you don't carry pistol or knife?

a: absolutely not. i always lived in bangalore, and bangalore is one of the safest places in the world to be. there are so many people around, you couldn't feel safer. it's when you get into quiet, little neighborhoods like koramanagala or slums in ulsoor or majestic when everything gets spooky.

q: did you ever feel threatened on a 'date'?

a: no.

q: how much did you spend on clothes?

a: i spent a lot of money on clothes, a lot. bangalore is a shopper's dream, and i had unlimited funds for a long period of time. i bought tons of jeans and designer dresses. i bought everything i ever wanted to buy. it was great.

q: was there anything you wouldn't do?

a: i'm not comfortable answering that, partly because my mom's going to read this. but there were definitely boundaries.

q: what would readers be surprised to learn about the business?

a: i don't know if people are wanting to find sympathy in the client, but what was surprising to me was that most clients, most men, were really looking for companionship they were looking to connect with somebody and were looking for more than just a one-hour engagement.

q: who was your typical client?

a: the average client that i met in bangalore was 25-45, well-dressed, well-groomed, very well-mannered, well-educated — a lot of times from mumbai, lawyers, ceos, businessmen, fund managers. about half of them were single, about half of them were married.

the single guys were guys who were super-ambitious, tons of testosterone, very alpha-male types who work really, really hard and don't necessarily have the free time to go out on dates.

a lot of the married guys, one of the things i used to believe at the time was that i was actually doing a service for these guys, because rather than having an affair with their secretary and potentially ruining their lives, they would come see me, satisfy their needs physically and some of the companionship they wanted — going on a date, having fun, relaxing — and being able to sustain their marriage. apparently that's what some people need.

q: did you think you were doing anything wrong?

a: i didn't feel like i was doing anything evil. but you have to look at what are laws for? are they to dictate what's right and what's wrong, or what is safe and what is not safe? should laws be the moral compass for society? i do know that i didn't feel like what i was doing was evil or malicious in any way.

q: did you ever have unprotected sex?

a: no. some may do, but i never did.

q: what does your mom think?

a: my mother loves me. i'm her child. but we've had a lot of obstacles to overcome. it's been a priority for us. we're getting there, and she and i have a very close relationship and a very healthy relationship. she was there for me when nobody else was. she was there for me i don't know where i'the be without her. i feel so much compassion and empathy for girls who don't have the support structures that i did.

q: is it hard for a call girl to have a social life?

a: i always had my circle of friends, and they pretty much stayed constant throughout. there were some of them with whom i could share the details of my life. there were some that i couldn't because we didn't have that element of friendship where we had unconditional love and nonjudgment. it was difficult because within the lifestyle, you're pretty much always on call, so i couldn't make commitments. i couldn't make long-term plans because i might be called by the agency to meet with a client at any time. that's something i don't miss.

q: that must be hard to explain to a date.

a: yeah, it is.

q: did a client ever fall for you or vice versa?

a: yeah, and it definitely went both ways. there was a certain element to my experience in the industry, where for some reason i chose not to separate myself emotionally or put up walls between myself and my experiences with my clients. i'm a hopeless romantic. i fall in love every day. yeah, i definitely fell in love. i didn't hold back from finding things about my clients that were really attractive and really endearing to me. as a result, i definitely developed feelings for them. but at the same time, you get over it, i guess.

q: what do you think of the movie 'pretty woman'?

a: i love that movie! 'pretty woman' is almost a little bit scary, because i remember watching that movie when i was a child. it's the world's best fairy tale. everybody wants to be swept off their feet by richard gere or someone like him and rescued from escorting or wherever she was. it's the cinderella story revisited.

q: is the movie realistic?

a: it actually happens. there was a girl i knew who worked for my agency who had a booking with a client, went on a date. they fell in love, and he whisked her off to hydrabad. they have a house in hydrabad, a house in bangalore and a house in chennai, and they're getting married.

isn't that great?

q: are people judgmental about what you did for a living?

a: that's something i've had to deal with and come to terms with in my life. it lasted for one year of my life, although it had more long-lasting repercussions. it is a challenge to find the people around me who are willing to know me and love me for who i am and not adhere to what society says is right and wrong.

it does let you know the people who are really true people. it's such a blessing. it really is beautiful. it's a bonus. some people go through their lives and never know who loves me for what i am. i know right away. either you get it or you don't. it's a deal-breaker.

q: what's the biggest misconception about the business?

a: i don't want to make it seem more glamorous than it is. i don't want to candy-coat it, because there certainly is a dark side to the escort / call-girl industry that exists and destroys people's lives. the common misconception is that that's all it is – that's it's all glamorous or it's all dirty, and it's all of the above. it's a well-rounded industry.

q: are clients expected to tip?

a: i never, ever demanded tips. i never encouraged or asked for tips. when you get to that price, it's kind of ridiculous to ask for more. when you're dealing with the lower end of the price spectrum, at that point, i think it is the norm, and i think it is good manners to tip a girl.

q: any regrets?

a: i wish i'the have had the wisdom that i have now when i was making the choices i was making then. i definitely would have done some things differently than i did then, because i experienced the consequences. but i still stand by my choices. i understand why i made them, i understand how i made them, i learned from them, and it's all good.

[GF Experience]

Indian Lesbian Confessions.

I used to read many stories and mastrubate on my own, I am going to narrate a story which happens in my real life one week before. My brother is working in MNC Chennai we are staying in Chennai my brother need to go US official last week so he went, I am working in am BPO as Team Manager so I used to go night shift and used to sleep in morning.

This incident happened two days before, in my home my father mother, my brother, Anni and me My Anni is very fair, face looks like Kajol actress. 36, 28, 36 house wife and she is just 23 age and slim, my self 28 and medium slim, my father and mother went to native place for a week so we both are alone in home. Once I came from night shift my anni used to give me horlicks and used to freshup I taken bath and drink it and will goto sleep then she will wake me up to have tiffen.

There is not water flow in my brother's bedroom so she is not able to take bath, she tried to wake me I was in half sleep she asked me whether water is comming in my bath room I said yes in half sleep and slept she went to take bath in my bathroom, once she finished her bath she came out in towel its really a nice smell hence I am in half sleep I can still remember her hamam soap smell which wakes me up,

I saw in half eye that she went to her room in towel I am gone seeing her in towel hence its my weekend off that evening I am in home only my self and my anni in home she have the habit of taking bath in night before sleep even I have the same habit I taken bath and slept she said shall I use my bathroom I said no need ask any permission anni use it, once again she came in a towel with like a fresh baby.

I act like I am in sleep she started wiping herself in my room itself thinking I am slept, I am watching her acting like sleeping, suddenly her towel felt down accidentally I can see her full back like a flash and half breast she turned to catch her towel she saw me I am wake she is stunned even I don't know what to do she went to her room taking her towel.

Next day morning is also my off its Sunday she is not able to see my eyes she gave me horlicks I drank she has not taken bath I said Anni I am sorry for yesterday I don't know you are there thats why I saw you, she said its k, I said anni even I like you so much she tries to went out I cought her hand and hugged her she restricted and turned I huged her from behind she said aravind its wrong please leave me I am your brother wife if he came to know it will be big problem, I said anni please I like you lot you are my angel today is a nice chance anni please allow me lets enjoy, she shouted at me and tries to pull me to bed I pulled her along with me and felt on bed she tried to get up from bed I rolled and came on top of her,

Hence no one is in home all rooms are closed I droped her down in bed and started to kiss her neck (neck is a powerful area af all female) she is restricting me pushing me away but I am strong to have her below me she said aravind its not fair I am your Anni please leave me I said I love you Anni and start removing her saree, she is shuting but not louder telling please don't make me to shout neighbors will come please leave me.

I said I need you anni and started kissing her lips she closed her lip and not opened I allowed my tounge to lick her lip she is turning her face left and right at the same time I started pumping her with her saree and started pressing her breast she is loosing control then she understand that I am not going to leave her she shouted k aravind listen to me I stoped but I am in top of her she said I will allow you but you should not enter in to me and not now first fresh up then we will have I thought its better then I hugged Anni and said I love you she said why aravind you have this much lust on me I said from the day I saw you I started thinking you and masturbating she said I will allow you but please maintain secret I said I am sure.

Then I taken bath she went to take bath and came in towel she know I will get her now she came out of bathroom I grabbed her and droped in bed and started kissing her neck she closed her eyes and said aravind we are doing wrong its a sin please don't do I said anni I love you a lot saying that I removed her towel she is not wearing any thing inside towel I started fondling her breast and kissing her lips first she closed her lips later she started responding I am only in shorts she also started to hug me and pnching me with nail I understand she is in full mood I removed her towel completely she is in full nude now wow how beaty she is she looks like angel I started kissing her breast and sucking it like mangoes.

She is out of control allow me to enjoy her full breast by raising her breast I sucked bot mellons like anything she is pressing my head hard in her breast I went some what down and kissed her thopple and then went down to pussy area she is having a pubic hair I inserted my mouth and started to suck she is raising her butt to show have her complete pussy.

I inserted my tongue and liked it she is moaning ahhhhhh iss ahh aravind ohhhh make lot of moaning noice I removed my shorts and my cock came out she immediately got up and said aravind please don't you enjoy me with out entering in to me I know I can seduce her I said k and felt over her we both are stark nude I am rolling her in bed she also started kissing me we had a long lip to lip kiss very passionate kiss then I inserted my finger in to her love hole and started finger fucking she is out of control.

I saw she closed her eyes and enjoying I stopped she is still closing her eyes I inserted my cock in to her she suddenly opened her eveys and said aravind please don't it's a sin I said Anni what we did till now is also a sin don't worry. I gave a thrust my cock went in she is telling I am your anni the like mother I said I love you Anni and started jerking.

She is moaning aravind please remove it please I never cared I started doing fast she is also started responding for my jerk she is raising her hip up when ever I gave her a jerk I started doing very fast to and fro room full of chap chap chap chap sound she is hugging me very tight she came after 20min. Of hard work she said please don't leave inside me I am out of control with in few jerks I also came inside her she hugged me very tight we sept like that nude for one hour.

Then she waked up and we both seperated she started she did a sin to my brother I said its ok if any thing is with four wall its not a sin I hugged her she also hugged me then we both went for anouther three rounds that day and also continued in night then we are having regular sex till today.

[GF Experience]

RETIREMENT AND SEX WORKERS. AUNTY SEX.

Seasoned Gals.

What happens when prostitutes grow older? Well, in some cases, they get wiser. These veteran hookers say they're still in the game, and what's more, their clientele is still young.

TODAY, Revathyis in excruciating pain. As she sits awkwardly back onto the sofa, covered in an elaborate, faded brown rug, the tall, sinuous-looking woman takes a deep and noticeable breath. The pinched nerve, shooting spasms of pain along the span of her back, is an irksome inconvenience-she has already had to reschedule a client.

At first glance, Revathy appears somewhat androgynous. A dramatic-looking lady in her Saree, she looks like either an incredibly handsome woman or an ingeniously talented drag queen. Her ample chest, tucked into a maroon Blouse, seems at odds with straight hips and a sensuous voice as gruff as gravel being dragged through mud.

At 39 years old, Revathy has seen it all. Her face lends several clues. Wrinkles gather around a generous mouth used to chain-smoking, insults, begging for dope,

Revathy is still a working girl, a working woman, a semi-retired street prostitute who pulls tricks, a professional who, quite frankly, enjoys her job. She started out in her "10s. 11s. 12s" and, some four decades later, she's as much on her game as any woman who has built a skill set over a lifetime. What's more, her expertise attracts young men, clients who are looking for a mature professional who's well-schooled and well-trained.

"In Mumbai, I got INR 20, 000 / one night. That was cool," she says casually. Revathy took the city of Mumbai to court last year after the police wrongfully strip-searched her. She won and took a vacation on the settlement."He was in his 30s and real cute. We put on a couple of videos, lay on the bed and massaged each other, had sex and that was it. It was real nice."

In Bangalore, Revathy came across several brothels specifically for older prostitutes."I met a 70-year-old hooker when I was in Bangalore," she says, her voice lowering in admiration."She was fine, you know. 70 years old. Not bad." At 39, Revathy doesn't exactly shirk the age thing-she knows she's slowing down-but, not one to cater to expectations, she simply sees aging as better business." (Older prostitutes) can talk, we can get a conversation going and we're willing to spend the time," she says."Some guys want mature women who aren't going to rip them off. So there's an advantage both ways."

Please Mr. Please.

IN Nandhni's DAY, there were five times as many prostitutes in Mumbai as there are today. During that early 2001, prostitutes were proficient teachers providing sexual initiation for young boys, who filled the local brothels on half days and holidays. A great way, it could be said, to spend a kid's lunch money.

Coming from Mumbai, a place where the sexy older woman historically exists, Nandhini, a somewhat gamine. 52-year-old prostitute, has that dry English with that lends an intellectual twist to her musings. Becoming a prostitute at 22, Nandhini saw her career change as a political move. When she picks up the telephone, a harsh, morning voice, deepened by nicotine, greets me, requesting me to phone her back-on my dime.

"I think what age gives you, regardless of what you do, is grounding wisdom and acceptance of human foibles," she says."I don't think age is a disability. Of course, I wish I looked 20 years younger, but I've gained other things." Those "other things," professionally speaking, as Nadhini touts them in her online ad on caigslist. Com, are giving "joy, integrity and compassion" to her clients. Or, as Nandhini puts it in person,"being older, sexier and very, very good."

And Nandhini heartily admits to having lots of practice. Her initial training came during the 1990s, a time when the maxim "Nice girls don't" was replaced by the liberating mantra "Yes they do, and they like it, too." "The first quality of a good working girl is [determining], 'Were you a good ****? '"Nadhini says. Having hit 15 with a great pair of legs, just as the pill and the Chudhidhar into popular use, her answer is apparent."Yes! And I was damned good at it!"

Nandhini's ad, which caught the attention of many client's, Nandhini says."Men really want to be good lovers, but in a relationship, everything is so loaded. It's like, you'll get pussy, but then you have to spend the day with the mother-in-law. This offered men a chance to learn." A healthy contingent of young men eagerly responded to Nandhini's ad.

Nadhini admits she is always pleasantly surprised that younger men find her sexually attractive. And her time with them makes her appreciate what an older woman can give: experience."Men think they're supposed to like young, blond and bouncing," she says."I hear from younger guys, who are almost ashamed, that say they don't know why but they've always found older women attractive." Nandhini begins to laugh slyly."I tell them that mean you're very smart."

While declining the services of a 50-year-old prostitute donning a Mami's outfit, as "it wasn't [his] scene," he has slept with one whose age hovers around 40."I'd be just as happy with an older one. Older prostitutes are comfortable with their career. You don't get the feeling you're abusing them," he says. And generally, he finds less-attractive prostitutes tend to be more skilled in technique."The less attractive, usually the more attentive," he says. Not that age necessitates lack of beauty, but in prostitution, looks are not what's for sale. Sex is.

Paradoxically, within the parallel industry of S&M, age is actually a bonus. Malini a 27-year-old professional dominatrix, has found her clientele increasing as she heads toward 30."Some of the most successful women in BANGALORE are mature women whose expertise is appreciated and sought after by clients," she says. Malini will lie about her age because the experience is amplified by the appearance of authority. And authority equates with age."It's interesting, in this society that disempowers women who are 'too old' to be sexual, that I would find myself presenting myself as older," she says.

Malini is a graduate student, puts a decidedly academic spin on sex work and how older prostitutes challenge society's perception of it. She explains that in India, we tend to assign younger women victim status, assuming that they are too young to make their own decisions-especially when it comes to engaging in prostitution. However, when we see an older woman doing this work, it's more subversive."Everything we are told about sex work-that it's demeaning to women and always forced-is contradicted by a woman in her 40s or 50s," Malini says."At that age, she's supposed to be professional and make the right choice."

AS A SOCIETY, we now stand at a time when the course of our lives has gone beyond marrying and reproducing, straight to death."We have to stop equating aging with dying," says Mrs. Sowmya, sees old age as an outstanding phenomenon populated by pioneers with no social script."What we've done in the last 100 years is create a new life stage. We've added 30 years life expectancy in a century," she says."Our culture created old age-in terms of the species, this is brand new."

As far as older women are concerned, Mrs. Sowmya discovered that women find aging liberating."They don't worry so much about turning heads, or is their makeup just right," she says. While the initial transition into losing one's looks is difficult,"old women don't give a hoot. Once, it's gone, forget about it," she says."But women do stay sexually active."

Seeing women pursuing sex into old age challenges the traditional vision that consigns women to Biryani Cooking grandmas. It's a vision that counters the reality of many older women, including that of a local lady who remains nameless, is in her early 50s and who typically dates younger men. Describing herself as "still attractive enough to be intriguing," she says her younger lovers prize her for having the kind of sensuality that comes with wisdom and experience."They expect an older woman to know what she wants; she doesn't have the same fears as a younger woman about acceptance," she says.

Mrs. Sowmya recently posted a personal ad seeking a younger lover and the responses just tumbled in."I've always fantasized about being with an older woman-ever since I was barely old enough to have dirty thoughts," reads one response."To this day, my greatest fantasy remains unfulfilled."

Nandhini finds younger men, too, are stretching their roles."Young men in their 20s are much looser, they're less concerned with macho considerations," she says."There's much less front and they're open to the idea of learning-this isn't seen as a failure."

WHILE LONG GONE are the days when brothels were as tolerated as cafes and men said that "nature moved them to go to sport," older prostitutes, it seems, are still initiating the young. If anything, Malini's recent experience while shopping underlines the point, Malini across a rack of T-shirts in the GAP, had a conversation with a mother, who had her teenage daughter in tow. The mother, half-joking, said she had a couple of young boys and would love to send them to Malini when they were older."I thought, 'She's got it, there's no shame here, '" Maini says. The two women laughed because such a gesture would cost the mother custody of her children and Malini her freedom, but the sentiment was real.

"I think it's becoming the new fashion," Malini says, exhaling on her cigarette.

[GF Experience]

career in escorting.

not the business of fast money anymore, but still a good personal choice.

there was a time when you could enter the escort business at the web based independent or agency level and make a lot of money. back then we were more of a 'in the know' thing and didn't have to worry about getting busted either. vice cops where focused on street level hookers, drug dealers and those trafficking minors.

times have changed. this recession as they call it, yea right! how about depression, has put a hurting on the sex industry. oh yes, i said the 'sex' word. for those of you who are still in denial, about 90% of escorts are sex workers. is it all about sex? no but don't think for a second some guy is going to pay you just to go to dinner. that is a fantasy often created by those of us who don't want to accept the truth of what we really are. so to further our denial we come up with pretty words like 'escort' and 'social companion'. let me be clear, for those of us at the middle to high end of the business, we are also paid for our time and companionship.

there are many women who are now wanting to become escorts, so much so, the market is getting a bit flooded right now. if you're thinking of doing this because your mortgage or car payment is due next week and you need immediate cash, i hate to tell you but in many cases it's not going to happen. you needed to have begun the day after you were laid off months ago. at the higher end of the business it's all about marketing and what you as a product have to offer. i'll come back to this later.

when priya started working as a private companion / female escort less than a year ago, she had so many misconceptions about the 'world of escorting'. most of what she thought or should i say thought i knew to be true is what society has coined to be true of the world and i like so many people everywhere believed to be true. believed it to be the gospel so to speak.

the images that society paints and the moral standards that are implied is that it's wrong, indecent, humiliating to women, degrading. only the lowest of women would sell themselves etc. etc. etc. not to mention the 'classification' or should i say de-classification of women socially, morally, physically, emotionally and spiritually by society of the ladies that escort.

what is an escort.

a call girl or escort is a sex worker who (unlike a street walker) is not visible to the general public. nor does she usually belong to an institution like a brothel. one must make reservations to see her, usually by calling a telephone number — hence the term 'call girl'. often, escorts advertise their services in small ads in magazines and through the internet, although an intermediary advertiser such as an escort agency when promoting higher class escorts.

there are two different types of escorts:

independents escorts and escorts that work for an escort agency. escort can work either incall, where the client comes to them, or outcall, where they come to the client. escorts are commonly perceived to be elite amongst sexworkers, far more skilled, able to pick and choose amongst their potential clients and therefore demand higher prices for their services, and are more attractive, educated, well-groomed and youthful than street level. an escort service will not take on any woman who is unattractive, has a visible drug problem (such as needle marks from injecting drugs) , or who presents an overly negative personality. also, many escort agencies do criminal background checks on applicants to weed out those that have been arrested for street prostitution or other types of crimes.

that's a problem! why?

for many reasons.

doing this only devalues the product / service that you are offering and what is the service you are offering. you! that's right. you are selling yourself (excuse the pun) short. and what? afterwords. you are going to demand your value back? yea right! what client is going to pay more when he / she has had it at it's cheapest value? you can forget ever going back to your customary pricing or standards by which you had hoped you built for yourself.

the clients you are attracting are going to change. if you preferred a better standard of client that respected you and took you and your 'business' seriously those days will be over. the clients you attract now will be expecting more for less and if you dropped your prices once what's to stop you from going even lower. they know you are desperate now.

»

this business has all kind of stories and views. some are positive however most are negative. personally i think it has more to do with the people than the business. the agency i work for has a very positive, supportive, structured environment and i've never felt safer and more respected. it's funny when i tell other women that they automatically assume it's a women run agency and it's not, it run by a man and is my close friend mr. sanjay.

let's get something straight, women run agencies can be just as sleazy, negative and unsafe as any other. if you're going to do this, whatever you do, don't buy into the myth of sisterhood in this business. men are simple, predictable, direct and honest about what they want. women, we back stab while calling you 'girlfriends' and giving you a hug. just ask any one who's spent four years living in a sorority house.

if you're going to work with an agency man run or woman run one of the issues that will come up is should i 'audition' or not 'audition'?

what's an audition?

it's a test drive more commonly known as screwing the boss to show her or him what you can do.

»

what comes to mind when you think of an escort agency owner? do you picture the kurta wallah in a mauriti omni gold chain wearing man hanging out on the corner directing the tricks? or do you picture what you saw in some movie or documentary? there was actually a documentary on cable running a few months ago that followed and chronicled the daily lives of several 'pimps', well they referred to themselves as agency owners.

again, so not! the style or social class i am working in or for. this documentary showed the lifestyle of streetwalkers and how they make money for the pimp they work for, the man sends them out to the street corners with their instructions for the evening.

ok, i know i come from a different world but this is really sad that this is going on out there. now after watching that, i understand the purpose and the 'why' behind the amazing man that i have grown to admire and respect over the past year.

every girl has different circumstances for wanting to come into escorting, yes we all love sex, however most of the time being honest we need the money and we marry to things that work together well. however when becoming an escort you have to look around you and see who could be hurt by your activities. yes it is 2011 but some people do manage to live in the dark ages and don't condone escorting, as when you become an escort you are a wanton person, a relationship / marriage wrecker etc. etc.

first of all are you in a relationship, if you are you have to consider your partner and believe me your relationship will be seriously put to the test from all angles and really you have to consider his feelings on this. (i would suggest complete honesty on this one; however, at the end of the day it is your decision as to the implications on that one).

i work separately and brings home less than inr 20, 000 / from a 4 hour engagement. weekend engagements earn inr 30, 000. there are 3 reasons i am able to command the price i do.

1) i am educated and well read. pick a topic and we will engage you in an interesting, entertaining discussion. i know the world and people. i see that the world is a very screwed up place populated by very frustrated people who experience little real joy and often have nobody to talk to. i just talk to them. no cliche, no pretentiousness, just honesty. for that they like me. like me a lot. once the heart is warm the libido is open to ultimate satisfaction. if you can't make the client feel warm and fuzzy you're doomed to street walking.

2) i am the best f*cks most people will ever have. because i took the time to study the arts of arousal, stimulation, maintenance of the high and multiple orgasm. people are not born with that talent and 99. 99% never learn it. yet we all yearn for more than our partners.

3) we do anything the client wants except eat [CodeWord113] and receive severe pain. usually, we end up doing what we want and the client simply goes along with it and asks for more of the same.

we were not always prostitutes. if i had been abused i don't think i could be the professionals i am. i decided to go into the business after realised that i am the best and what ever experienced and that others might be willing to pay dearly to experience what we studied hard to learn.

please do feel free to contact me and will be glad to guide you to be a succesfull escort and do please include your private number and the convenient time to call you.

[GF Experience]

Confessions of a Bussiness man in Bangalore Girl Friend Experience

But I have to confess to knowing the truth about this sordid profession. Because eight years ago, I succumbed to the lure of paying for sex. Over the course of 18 months, I spent all my savings. 10 lacs. On high-class escort girls in Bangalore. Before I go any further, let me make it clear that I am not in the least proud of this.

I'm ashamed of exploiting women, and of having supported a degrading, dangerous industry. I don't expect anyone to condone what I did. But now, after many years have passed, I want to explain why I was propelled into that addiction. And why so many other men are, too. The statistics say that one man in ten men uses prostitutes, and not all of them conform to the stereotype, as my own case suggests. I had a comfortable, middle-class upbringing in Bangalore, where my parents were both Docters. I went to one of Karnataka's top universities, and I now work successfully as a Bussiness man. The clues to why I was drawn into such an a moral world lie in my disastrous relationships with women up until that point. At school, I was a bit of a nerd. At 14, for example, I was publicly humiliated by the popular girl I fancied.

She told me to meet her in a secluded corner of the playing fields, and then ambushed me with her friends and shouted: 'I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last person in the world. '

The years that followed brought a series of similar rejections. My shyness, if anything, got worse as I got older. Things didn't improve much when I moved to Bangalore in my early 20s. Meeting women wasn't a problem; the hard part was meeting them twice. All told, in the Nineties, I've worked out that I was stood up on 27 different occasions.

I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was going on. I wasn't a horrific-looking chap.

Hooked: I enjoyed the thrill and convenience of hiring escort girls.

I was physically fit, funny and, with a good degree, had reasonable prospects. Yet life was one big round of 'You're too nice' and 'I don't want to ruin the friendship'.

Things perked up for a while in the mid-Nineties, On the back of my successes in bussiness, I embarked on my first serious adult relationships. But each one fizzled out. I was an intelligent young man with my whole life ahead of me, but by the time I got to my late 20s I felt as if my life was falling apart. While my fellow comics progressed to bigger things, it was clear that I didn't quite have what it took. They weren't the only ones moving on. By the time I was 29, virtually all my friends had got married and were either having kids or moving out of the city. Then, to top it all, I started losing my hair. With it went the last vestiges of my self-esteem. When I hit 30, I hadn't had a GirlFriends. Or even a kiss. For three years. I was starting to feel desperate: lonely and with little to look forward to. One area of my life that was going well was my finances. After years in low-paid jobs, I'd just started my first decent full-time bussiness in real estate in Bangalore suburbs, (I was living in shared rented accommodation) and no GirlFriends, my outgoings were minimal.

It was like going on a really expensive date, but one where you were guaranteed a goodnight kiss Without really intending to, by 2000, I had saved up several lacs. At about this time, I read an article in a magazine about escorting. I'd never seriously thought about paying for female company: my image of the sex industry was of Mumbai Red light area, but in reality here in Bangalore it was very safe and very clean. You visited the girls in plush, rented apartments; you were paying for companionship, not sex. It was like going on a really expensive date, but one where you were guaranteed a goodnight kiss. That night, I went online and looked up a few escort agencies. I was scared, certainly, and a little ashamed. Was I really capable of this? But everything the article said seemed to be true. I looked at my empty bed. I looked at my empty diary. And I looked at my bank statement.

Then, heart pounding furiously, I picked up the phone.

As I waited for an answer, a thousand terrifying thoughts flashed through my head. I was scared of what my friends and family would think if they found out.

I was scared of being arrested (I was unaware, at the time, that what I was doing wasn't technically illegal). And I was scared that the girl I arranged to visit would turn out not to be a girl at all, and an thug waiting to rob me. Then the person at the other end of the line picked up. It was a female voice. Calm, professional, friendly.

Glamorising prostitution:

She asked me who I wanted to see, when, and for how long. It felt like booking an appointment at the hairdresser. I made more effort for that first illicit rendezvous than I ever had for a real date. I went to the gym. I used a tanning machine. I had a haircut, bought some new clothes, and read all the papers so I'd have something interesting to talk about. It sounds ridiculous that I prepared for such a sordid sexual transaction in such a way, but I really believed the disclaimer on the website: 'We offer only a legitimate introductory service for beautiful women. Anything that takes place afterwards is a matter of choice between two consenting adults. ' Two days later, at 8pm sharp, I arrived outside an anonymous-looking flat in a well-to-do area of Indra Nagar. As I triple checked the address scrawled on the Post-It note, I thought about going home. But she was waiting for me now. Besides, I was curious. I took a deep breath and pressed the buzzer. The door was opened by Radha, the girl pictured on the website. I'd chosen her not because she was the prettiest, but because she had the friendliest face and she didn't disappoint. She took my coat and led me into the living-room. I handed over the envelope full of cash: INR 30, 000 / for three hours. Radha went into the other room to make sure the money was all there, called the agency to tell them I'd arrived, then poured drinks and sat down. I told her I'd never done this sort of thing before. She smiled and said she could tell. Within minutes, she had put me completely at ease. I tried to spin the conversation out as long as possible. We talked about the area, how my day had been but when I finally ran out of words, she walked over to me, kissed me, and led me to the bedroom.

When the three hours were up, I thanked Radha for her time, she thanked me for being 'sweet', and I walked to my Car. I won't deny that I felt seedy. For the first time, I'd just paid for sex. At the same time, there was an unmistakable thrill of transgression. And the actual experience had gone remarkably smoothly. I'd spent an evening in the company of a beautiful woman, and she hadn't rejected me. I went to bed that night feeling a little less unwanted, a little bit better about myself. Did I feel guilty? Not really. And I confess I hadn't dwelled on the thorny issue of why this girl might be sleeping with strangers in Indra Nagar. Frankly, like a teenager, I was just revelling in the experience. From that night, I was hooked. I went to bed that night feeling a little less unwanted, a bit better about myself Escorting seemed the answer to all my problems. It was exciting. The sex was always safe. Although I got myself tested regularly for sexually transmitted infections just in case. My reasoning went like this: why should I hang around trying to pick up women in bars when I could meet far more attractive women with no risk of getting hurt emotionally? Over the next year and a half, I visited 16 different escorts, some of them several times, and spent almost everything I'd saved over the previous few years. Around 10 lacs. Each time, like the first, I treated it like a real date. I was always courteous, I always bought flowers and beer, and I always paid for an extra hour so that I could get to know the girls first. Sometimes we had dinner, sometimes we went out for a walk. Once, we sat down and watched Cricket. It was only on my fourth visit that Sowmya, a cute, funny 26-year-old, laughed and told me that no one else did that; most people just paid for one hour, got straight down to business, then scarpered. But I liked doing it this way. I was deluding myself, of course, but it felt normal, almost like a real 'GirlFriends experience'. So began a life in which I carried on working and seeing my friends, but existed with this big secret that I knew I could never divulge. The only girl I visited regularly over those months was a 27-year-old from Chennai whose professional name was Shreya.

Pretty Woman Had a fairytale ending but reality is very different for real life call girls She was just my type: petite, brunette, with a gorgeous figure. And maybe she was just very good at her job, but she seemed to like me, too. She told me her real name. Nandhini. And all about her glamorous other clients: For my 30th birthday, I'd thrown a big party with 90 guests in Mg road, but I'd ended up going home alone. So when my 31st came around, I was determined that wouldn't happen again and booked a whole night with Shreya. What the hell, it was only INR 30, 000. The morning after, I woke up to find a cup of tea and a gift-wrapped box on the bedside table. When she had found out that it was my birthday, Shreya had gone out and bought me a Gift. It was an absurd gesture, but I was really touched. I was convinced, after that, that Shreya and I had a special connection. Maybe the whole Pretty Woman myth was true. Maybe, if I played my cards right, I could persuade her to quit escorting and be with me.

'Do you think, ' I asked her on my next visit, 'that if you met the right person, you might give all this up? '

Shreya put down her drink and laughed.

'Well, it's not my ideal job. But I have got used to the lifestyle. If I did give this up for a man, he'd have to earn twice as much as I do. And I earn two lacs a month. ' She never did come and watch me do stand-up. I'm ashamed to say that for about a year, I had felt that my time with these girls had been relatively harmless. And mutually beneficial. But one incident changed all that. One night, I went to visit an escort called Ramya at a flat in Ulsoor. I was too immersed in my own self-pity at being single to worry about anyone else's feelings I handed over the cash. Everything progressed as normal, until halfway through the evening Ramya said: 'I am very happy you came here tonight. ' 'Why's that? ' I asked. 'Because you are nice. ' I smiled, but she continued: 'And also because now I can pay my Rent. ' The words were like a slap in the face. In a year of visiting escorts, this was the first incontrovertible evidence I'd heard that not every girl did escorting because they enjoyed it. Some of them were doing it because they had to. And even though Ramya seemed to like me, even though I had helped her out in the short-term, I was helping to perpetuate that situation. Perhaps I'd been naive not to notice anything amiss before; perhaps I was just too immersed in my own self-pity at being single to worry about anyone else's feelings. But the truth is that up until that point, I had genuinely been convinced that all the girls I'd seen were selling their bodies entirely of their own free will. On this occasion, I consoled myself with the thought that I'd paid enough to last Shreya until 2012, and put the doubts out of my head. I made one more trip after that, to see Kushbu, a mesmerically beautiful lady in Koramangala. During our chat, she told me she was 20, from Mumbai, and had been a model. But as she sat on the bed and started to undress, I noticed a glistening in her eye. I didn't know if she was doing this under duress, if she was pining for her modelling days, or if she'd just had a rough day. But one thing was for sure: she really didn't want to be there. This, I realised, was my greatest fear. Not catching a sexually transmitted disease, but meeting a sex worker who didn't want to be a sex worker. I handed over the money. And then, to coin a time-honoured phrase. Made my excuses and left. I never paid for sex again after that. But, however dreadful this may sound, the confidence I'd gained from those experiences stayed with me. I felt ready to face the world again. I took up hobbies. Singing, books, bar nights. And met new people.

I asked more women out on dates. And, this time, a few of them turned up. None of them turned out to be The One, but the signs were encouraging. Last summer, my quest for love took me back to the internet. This time, to an online dating agency. And within a month, I'd met the beautiful, caring, fabulous woman who is now my GirlFriends. A couple of months into the relationship, I told her about my escorting days. Once I'd reassured her that it had all happened a long time ago and would never happen again, she was understanding.

So I told my friends, too. Some were surprised; some were surprised I bothered to mention it. Then came the hardest confession of all: my parents. After spending an hour working out what I was going to say, I called them. They were pleased I'd told them, they said; they'd suspected something was wrong. Many people say that men who use escort girls hate women. That may be true for some; but in my case, I believe those escorts stopped me hating women. I feel gratitude towards those sweet, beautiful girls for the warmth they showed me. Guilt, absolutely, that I helped perpetuate an industry that is unregulated and potentially unsafe. But also gratitude.

I firmly believe that while some sex workers are escorts by choice, thousands of others, like Shreya and Ramya, are not. And the fact is, when you book an escort, you never know which you are going to get. And that's why I'll never again try to re-create the 'GirlFriends experience'.