Rants, Stupid Shit and Coronavirus in Thailand

[Nyezhov]

Once upon a humid Tuesday in Phnom Penh, in a sweltering one-room rental above a broken-down KTV, lived a man known across several forums, only by "Dumb Fuck. "

The fan in his room spun with the enthusiasm of a dying insect, barely moving the hot, soupy air. His mattress was on the floor, no sheets, just sweat stains shaped like regret. The walls were adorned with faded posters of bar girls from 2007, long gone or long upgraded. Empty Angkor cans were stacked like monuments to disappointment.

"Dumb Fuck" spent his days perched on a stolen plastic chair, one hand scrolling mongering forums, the other wiping fried chicken grease on his boxers. He claimed he once got a blowjob on a boat in Sihanoukville, but eyewitnesses say he tripped over the gangplank and got laughed at by a tuk tuk driver.

Every night he went on the hunt, armed with nothing but a 10-year-old Samsung and an overinflated sense of charm. He would enter bars like a rejected extra from The Hangover 3, thinking his $20 budget and sweaty tank top gave him top-tier VIP status. He would do the same in his imagination when thinking about his make believe nights out at Thermae cafe in Bangkok..

Glad I'm in your head you phoney little *****.

[EverythingThai]

Once upon a humid Tuesday in Phnom Penh, in a sweltering one-room rental above a broken-down KTV, lived a man known across several forums, only by "Dumb Fuck. "

The fan in his room spun with the enthusiasm of a dying insect, barely moving the hot, soupy air. His mattress was on the floor, no sheets, just sweat stains shaped like regret. The walls were adorned with faded posters of bar girls from 2007, long gone or long upgraded. Empty Angkor cans were stacked like monuments to disappointment.

"Dumb Fuck" spent his days perched on a stolen plastic chair, one hand scrolling mongering forums, the other wiping fried chicken grease on his boxers. He claimed he once got a blowjob on a boat in Sihanoukville, but eyewitnesses say he tripped over the gangplank and got laughed at by a tuk tuk driver.

Every night he went on the hunt, armed with nothing but a 10-year-old Samsung and an overinflated sense of charm. He would enter bars like a rejected extra from The Hangover 3, thinking his $20 budget and sweaty tank top gave him top-tier VIP status. He would do the same in his imagination when thinking about his make believe nights out at Thermae cafe in Bangkok.

But disaster followed him like a karaoke echo in an empty room.

In Sharky Bar, he tried to kiss a girl mid-sentence. She dodged and poured her soda on his lap.

In a KTV joint, he misread the menu and ordered two hours of karaoke instead of a girl. He sang "My Heart Will Go On" alone, twice.

Once, in desperation, he followed a freelancer to her room, only to realize too late it was her brother's. They both left with his wallet.

Each fail became more legendary. He was the guy who tipped in loose Thai baht, argued that 500 riel should be enough for a short-time, and swore that "the real girls" were only pretending to hate him. He posted about ladyboys on ISG more than 100 times, as it was his secret obsession.

But the real kicker? He ran five fake accounts on ISG, defending himself in the third person.

But everyone knew. Everyone always knew.

One night, staring into the flickering light of his dying phone, surrounded by chicken bones, unread messages, and the smell of old sweat, "Dumb Fuck" looked into his cracked mirror. His eyes were red. His soul was heavy.

He sighed, leaned back in his plastic chair that creaked in protest, and muttered to himself:

I may be the stupidest mother fucker that ever was.

Ben Newton sits beneath the fan, arguing with his own aliases, unaware the only person he's fooling is "Dumb Fuck. ". Ha ha

[EverythingThai]

A realistic report that's a great job that lacks details.

You do. That's all you talk about. Perhaps because it gives you the only opportunity you have to not make stuff up like you do with your so-called trip reports and advice.

I may be the stupidest mother fucker that ever was.

I'm in full agreement on this. Perhaps it is the only thing the two of us will ever agree on ha ha.

[EverythingThai]

I love it. One liners about Short Eyes and his catamite OverpayThai precipitate pages of rants. What a bunch of losers LOL.

Not commenting about the ShortEyes are ya boy? Tell us why you split Richmond Va for the DR?

I may be the stupidest mother fucker that ever was.

Ah yes, the plot twist we all saw coming three scrolls ago.

[SubCmdr]

Truer words have never been spoken.

I may be the stupidest mother fucker that ever was

Now he shows his true personality

Hi,

I see the infamou Sub has graced your section of the Forum with his USA Urban ghetto wisdom. You will notice he is all over the Thailand boards, and the Dominican Republic board, and the Colombian board, where he curses and yells and rants and expresses his hate for all white folks. He is not a typical american, and while you have plenty of reason as Europeans to disike americans, don't use him as a paradigm for anything other than an example of an arrogant egotistical racist mentally Disturbed ranting unintelligent conspiracist mysoginist piece of shit that just happens to have an American passport, God knows how it hasn't been revoked yet, even assuming his international travels are true, which many of us here doubt. There's a very good chance he's in a basement in some Hood in like Gary Indiana or some other place that looks like an Congo village. Meanwhile enjoy his presence, you already have loons like ther French dwarf, so I guess it's not unusual.

Oh you guys are in for fun. MessBoy has discovered your rants and raves section. Hes never been to your country, but he is an expert LOL.

I'm out of here so Sambo the Mouthy MessBov doesn't keep his little war going with me to clog up your area. He will find someone else, there are tons of racists in Germany, right?

He has many names for me and he knows where the racist are. Any moment now Oakie and HotDog666 will be posting up in here giving him back up.

How long? Not long!

[SubCmdr]

I was being a little kind to you but I'll tell you I was vicariously embarrassed for you by you appealing to this mongering board on whether you're a second class citizen.

Note that no one responded.

I also note that you didn't address your little cap in hand "aww shucks master" appeal to whatshisname, Nyzhenov?

You know the chap who referred to you as "the colored boy" or "darkie"?

That's the thing with racism, Stephen: it may be a minority who are racist to you, but you are nonetheless a second class citizen.

Lookie here, WHWMF has a new fanboy. Food on a Bun AKA HotDog666.

Tell us why you split Richmond Va for the DR?

Tell us why you split Richmond, VA? Confederate son living in a Cambodian Slum. How Ironic?

[SubCmdr]

Oh and a special message to mess boy: we're changing your name to Short Eyes. Shall we discuss why you fled, fled, like fleeing, international flight, from Richmond Virginia to the Dominican Republic?

Hey you dumb mother fuck (DMF is your new name).

The only arrest warrant that has ever been issued is by the ISG Thailand Police Force. We know who the be the Price PoPo up in dis *****.

1,000 baht. Nuff said. You even get them for 500.

You not my Bro mother fuck!

[Werqweq]

All Pattaya girls are just pussy to you. You fuck short, fat, and ugly girls and brag about how cheap they are. Fucking a thousand girls does not make a man happy. Look at you. You spend most of your free time in this forum. You always sound so cranky and are very quick to put people down. Sandy won't open her fine legs for crude men like you and she certainly isn't going to open her legs for 1,000 Baht. It's not that easy like you always claim it is. They may be prostitutes. But many of them, especially the beautiful ones, do not think like one. You fuck Sandy for 1,000 Baht. Then, I will bow down to you and call you the messiah.

LOL. Only thing missing from Mr. E's post is one of his amusing food/coffee analogies.
"Do you message Burger King to let them know you're back in town, and then wait for them to call you back and ask how you're doing and if you're hungry? Or do you message them your order and wait for them to bring it?"

You're the money. She's the burger. As far as hookers goes, that's all there is to it, your newbie delusions notwithstanding. Take some of the good advice offered you, and you too could become one of the thousands of crude men fucking Sandy.

[SubCmdr]

When I am on Soi 6 every girl has the potential to be my prostitute by providing me with social / sexual services until they say no. Been posted up in Pattaya for a while. Most girls who are willing to be my prostitute have a number they wish to received for their social / sexual services. My personal philosophy is that I pay it (within 500 THB) of market price. If a Soi 6 quotes me 1500 total. I don't negotiate.

I agree. I fuck. I pay.

Indeed it is that easy for me.

Depending upon my mood I might even buy her a lady drink. But I am not opposed to just going straight up to the room. Especially if the girl is standing in the street and we close the deal there. I tell her we goto the short time room right now.

I like to get there early. I find that girls seem to want to their first fuck in. Or is it just that they want to try or they just love my Big Black Dick.

Side note, my Big Black Dick has become a political issue. This was posted in the American Politics thread along with a reference to poster who lives in Cambodia.

Now do try and not take your questionably sized dick out and shake it about in front of us all whilst yelling "How do you like me now". It really is why you sound like an imbecile.

ROTFLMAO!

[SubCmdr]

All Pattaya girls are just pussy to you.

Dumb mother fuck about to get got!

You fuck short, fat, and ugly girls and brag about how cheap they are.

How do he know?

This Falcon 95 mother fuck does not know what a prostitute will and will not do with a International Trick unless he is in the room with her.

Fucking a thousand girls does not make a man happy.

No? You better speak for yourself.

Look at you. You spend most of your free time in this forum.

How do you know this?

You always sound so cranky and are very quick to put people down.

Really? You think so? If that is case get at him in the RANTS thread. Stop polluting the Pattaya Report thread with your proclamations of self. Delusion.

Sandy won't open her fine legs for crude men like you and she certainly isn't going to open her legs for 1,000 Baht.

How do you know this? Has she rejected your 1000 THB offer? Have you even made one.

It's not that easy like you always claim it is.

Actually it is. You find a prostitute; you make a offer; offer is accepted or rejected; if rejected you can counter offer; if accepted you can fuck; pay her.

They may be prostitutes.

Actually they are prostitutes. FULL STOP!

But many of them, especially the beautiful ones, do not think like one.

There you go putting girls on a pedistool. Don't come cry to us when you get got!

You fuck Sandy for 1,000 Baht. Then, I will bow down to you and call you the messiah.

Really? Mr. E opinion is that important to you. I could give a fuck what Mr. E says of thinks of me. ROTFLMAO.

Here is another example of a sub 200 post guy talking shit to a man that actually knows what he is doing. I do not agree with everything he writes or his opinions. But I cannot say that I have read anything that has been factually incorrect in a post where I have experience in the same place he is posting. Opinions are different.

Over all the response written by Falcon 99 made me sad. I have to admit that our local expert on bar girl behavior is right that there are actually mother fucks her on ISG that don't know what time it is.

[Nyezhov]

I love it. One liners about Short Eyes and his catamite OverpayThai precipitate pages of rants. What a bunch of losers LOL.

Not commenting about the ShortEyes are ya boy? Tell us why you split Richmond Va for the DR?

[EverythingThai]

All Pattaya girls are just pussy to you.

Hey there. Relax. If I am not mistaken, you posted a story a little while ago and in that story you depicted yourself in the same way as you are accusing Explorer to be like. Do you remember how you treated that girl. You treated her like she was just "pussy".

Anyways, that being said, I wanted to point out to you that for someone who wants to fuck a Soi 6 girl, you failed miserably here. You kept wanting to leave and come back later or the following day. You did that with the other girl too. These girls change by the day and sometimes even by the hour. You had her, but you walked away. Can't figure out why you did that. Maybe you can tell us all. Was it because you were afraid she was going to ask you for too much money? If so, forget about that. If you like a girl that much, pay whatever she asks or counter her offer until she agrees. But don't negotiate too much or she might tell you to forget it. When I find myself in these types of situations, I always make them an offer they can't refuse. If you just did that, you would have already fucked her by now. Cheers.


Oh and by the way, IT IS THAT EASY

[EverythingThai]

I may be the stupidest mother fucker that ever was.

Well its a start. You finally admitted it. You dont understand technology or much of anything else do you you dumb fuck.

Yo
Its ya boy in the shadows of the slums,
With a fan on the ceiling and a dream on the run,
We talkin Newton Ben Newton king of the keyboard jungle,
Broadcastin lies from a plastic chair, ready to rumble.


Yo, Ben Newton in a fan room, sweatin out shame,
Livin that Phnom Penh life, low-rent and no game.
Got ten fake profiles, all postin the same,
But your Wi-Fi too weak, cant keep up the flame.

You troll ISG like its a throne to defend,
Talkin big game bout a trip you cant spend.
Mongers dreams, Bangkok schemes,
But you aint touched a queen since 14 it seems.


In the fan room, clickin with a plastic spoon,
Ben Newton postin nonsense every afternoon.
Talkin bout the life, but its all cartoon
Just a king with no crown, under a dusty monsoon.

You got a mattress on the floor, stains like a warzone,
A hundred-dollar phone but no real backbone.
Screenlight glowin on your face like a halo,
But in real life, you invisible, bro stay low.

You flexin on threads with no passport stamps,
Chasin bar girls with your dusty ol champs.
Talkin like a vet, like you wrote the code,
But the real ones laugh they already know.


Yo, he aint seen Nana since Nana was cool,
Hes the type to Google map a pool and call it a jewel.
Sippin Angkor warm, in the corner of doom,
Whisperin next trip soon yeah, maybe next monsoon.


In the fan room, clickin with a plastic spoon,
Ben Newton postin nonsense every afternoon.
Talkin bout the life, but its all cartoon
Just a king with no crown, under a dusty monsoon.


So heres to Ben, in his kingdom of mold,
Where dreams turn to posts and the noodles get cold.
Keep typin, big guy, chase your delusion,
But real Gs know you just digital pollution.

When you practice rapping this “Fuck off” don’t forget to follow the below instructions.

Fade out with slow fan spinning noise, and a muffled street vendor yelling Num Pang!

[UglyAzzMan]

Is that UglyAzzMan or ElMexicant?

We know it's not Nyezhov!

ROTFLMAO!

Indian. Hahaha.

[UglyAzzMan]

All Pattaya girls are just pussy to you. You fuck short, fat, and ugly girls and brag about how cheap they are. Fucking a thousand girls does not make a man happy. Look at you. You spend most of your free time in this forum. You always sound so cranky and are very quick to put people down. Sandy won't open her fine legs for crude men like you and she certainly isn't going to open her legs for 1,000 Baht. It's not that easy like you always claim it is. They may be prostitutes. But many of them, especially the beautiful ones, do not think like one. You fuck Sandy for 1,000 Baht. Then, I will bow down to you and call you the messiah.

Another guy calling out Mr E on pricing. His prices only get gets you the Bottom 15%. Kind of like the DUD.

Again nothing wrong with that unless you are equating them to Hot Girls. Hahaha. Hahaha.

Avarice has a Fresh off the Farm Hottie. 19 years old. Not Stunner but very Good Looking.

If she lost 5 pounds meThinks she could be quite an Earner. And her skin shade was one less Dark Shade.