Seeking Arrangements

[MrBuckley]

OK so on the Rio thread someone asked me to post about my experiences with someone with BPD.

To preface I am 38, American. I think women find me cute and attractive but not super handsome.

About 3 years ago I met a 10/10 girl in Mexico City on seeking, she is now 24. We had an instant connection. Then didn't see each other for 2 years and reconnected a year ago. The 2nd time around it wasn't as much about money as it was a real relationship / travel ect ect.

Well it turns out she has severe borderline personality disorder. And being involved with someone like that, it's taxing and will mess you up in the head as well. Except it's very hard to separate yourself from it.

I guess my takeaways are the age old phrase 'you can't turn a ho into a housewife'.

When people on here give the advice SA is best when you keep an arrangement and its for play only; it's probably strong advice.

If you meet or have an inkling someone you meet and have sex with has BPD, run away before you start developing attachments to them, because once those unhealthy bonds form they are much more difficult to break.

[VanessasClient]

Is Seeking popular there or are other platforms better? Also will it be latinas or can I score locals? I am monger in general but I kind want a more "GFE" through Seeking overall. I feel like American women are repulsed at the idea of transactional sex, whereas in Europe even among locals its not too stigmatized of a concept.

Lots of Brazilians in Portugal. You can try the site below. They might be a little more by the hour, but generally a good value for beauty and price. Lots of scammers on Seeking. On some P4 P sites like the one below, there are many more verified ads, and less people trying to rip you off.

https://www.apartadox.com/en/escort-...isbon-portugal

[KrisMonger]

Given the price increase in SA. I have started using SDM (sugar daddy meet) as it is far much cheaper. Again you need to do some intense hunting. SDM chatter has been going on in the SA-India group and that is the primary reason I signed up and then found a gem in US for now!. Had a great session yesterday with a girl that works in late night shift and can drop in post 11:30 pm! Going to see how it will work when I travel later this month outside of US.

Is Seeking popular there or are other platforms better? Also will it be latinas or can I score locals? I am monger in general but I kind want a more "GFE" through Seeking overall. I feel like American women are repulsed at the idea of transactional sex, whereas in Europe even among locals its not too stigmatized of a concept.

[KrisMonger]

Amen to what Steve says here. Good writeup. I have been now using SA for around 4 years mostly in Asia, US and Mexico and my experiences have been the same. It takes a lot of work to land some -but it really has been worthwhile. Pretty much in any geo the prices usually go down as the age goes up. My experience has been when the age goes up -the performance gets better -especially in US. In US I have resorted to focusing on women of Hispanic or Asian origin as they seem to come with less baggage. My price range in US has been between 300 to 500 ppm. Elsewhere in India -it has been around 200 USD per PPM. London per PPM was around 700 ppm -but I think the quality there was very solid. Indonesia continues to be the best for me from SA perspective-both price and quality.

I also follow what Steve follows. Do not talk about money on the platform (BTW the platform now-a-days warns you if use some dinero convo in your chat) but imply that gently and then move them off platform. No VC is a no-go for me and I clearly make that point on SA chat itself and move them to other platform. When I am in SA. I am super simple, direct and respectful with a little bit of humor on my first message and that seems to be working well for me as I always get a response back. Once I am on Tele or WA, I cut and paste the initial post to get them aligned and then push for a video after some niceties. I try to get regular girls as there are a LOT of girls in the platform that are straight up working girls. I see this trend more often now in India where they seem to be traveling from city to city. One of them even said she has assignments in cities for the month. I usually drop the conversation if I feel like they are working girls. In US all of them that I met through SA had a job and were doing this to cover their dollar needs. I do the price convo usually via a VC or after the VC via chat. I am also very explicit on expectations and what they are ok and not ok with. Setting expectations helps IMO. I usually meet a person in-person outside first for some dinner / lunch / drink. I think this really helps break the ice and improves comfort levels between the two.

Good luck with the SA hunt!.

Welcome to our world! Once you master the art of Seeking you will be hooked. And yes you have to have money but not tons. The 500-700 will absolutely get you a top quality date in London.

I've attached my soup to nuts guide on the subject. While originally written for USA it really applies.

So how do you do it properly? I suppose this could vary widely depending on what you are after. But I am after a girl who FEELS like a girlfriend. She's affectionate, appreciates an evening above her usual stature in life, and is able to actually enjoy herself with you. She views the allowance / gift (I. E. Money!) as a bonus. Not the only thing she is after. Any girl where I feel money is the primary motivation and she will go with anyone for a high enough price, gets kicked straight to the curb. She's got to be a girlfriend first, and any "benefits" come second.

[DigLicker]

Portugal is a good option. Think 200 Euros or thereabouts. If you are willing to go as far east as Greece, prices will drop.

Is Seeking popular there or are other platforms better? Also will it be latinas or can I score locals? I am monger in general but I kind want a more "GFE" through Seeking overall. I feel like American women are repulsed at the idea of transactional sex, whereas in Europe even among locals its not too stigmatized of a concept.

[DigLicker]

Yes. USA is a tough slog but only game in town. But it's way better internationally. You should have no trouble scoring in Berlin. Just be advised that like all prices Germany will be more expensive than Spain or Portugal say. But yeah. Should be ok for 400.-500.

Don't know your background but FKK Artemis is in Berlin. Not the best FKK. But serviceable and quite the experience if you haven't done FKK before.

This just goes to highlight the pussy desert that is the United States. A 400 meet in the US won't even get you an obese Shaniqua. Hell, 400 $ will get you half an hour at an AMP (aleit higher end). I have done Goldentime in Vienna for a layover. My experience wasn't too great but still better than in the US. Felt the girls were too pushy and woulnd't let you relax.

[VanessasClient]

I am super new to the world of sugaring in general. I am wondering if it works in Europe. I am having no luck in NYC. I was thinking of going to Berlin for a week or two. From reports here it seems like theaverage girl goes for $400 to $500 ppm. How are the attitudes there? It seems more normalized out there than in the US.

Portugal is a good option. Think 200 Euros or thereabouts. If you are willing to go as far east as Greece, prices will drop.

[Steve 9696]

I am super new to the world of sugaring in general. I am wondering if it works in Europe. I am having no luck in NYC. I was thinking of going to Berlin for a week or two. From reports here it seems like theaverage girl goes for $400 to $500 ppm. How are the attitudes there? It seems more normalized out there than in the US.

Yes. USA is a tough slog but only game in town. But it's way better internationally. You should have no trouble scoring in Berlin. Just be advised that like all prices Germany will be more expensive than Spain or Portugal say. But yeah. Should be ok for 400.-500.

Don't know your background but FKK Artemis is in Berlin. Not the best FKK. But serviceable and quite the experience if you haven't done FKK before.

[DigLicker]

I am super new to the world of sugaring in general. I am wondering if it works in Europe. I am having no luck in NYC. I was thinking of going to Berlin for a week or two. From reports here it seems like theaverage girl goes for $400 to $500 ppm. How are the attitudes there? It seems more normalized out there than in the US.

[DigLicker]

NYC is one of the worst places in the world to look for women, in general.

Why does it have a reputation for both sugaring and vanilla dating? The profiles of the women are not that attractive and they all have insane demands, plus not even that much more volume compared to other places.

[Rinkzzz]

You said "you are not into Pros anymore. " I don't know how you define a "pro", but what specifically about those women bothered you? And, how do you think women from Seeking will be substantially different? You have to give details for me to better understand what you are expecting.

What is it you think most men would prefer, overall? To achieve their goals with women, without paying cash for it, right? Accomplishing a process like that is almost always incredibly complex, and could take half a lifetime for the minority of men who ever do. And even if you don't pay with money, you are almost certainly giving up something else instead, such as your time and energy.

You'll find a variety of girls on Seeking. But the one thing that 99% of them have in common is that they are looking for money. The sex worker standing on the street corner typically only wants money, and only offers sex in return. Some girls on Seeking want more than just money, but they might also offer more than just sex. Where many men get into trouble is that they try to convince themselves it's not prostitution. It is, but it tends to accompany more comprehensive factors than simply mixing sex and money..

Hello VanessasClient,

Thank you for your feedback, I need someone who will not be a clock watcher, with Pro its mostly "Wham bam, thank you Sir" even for an hour of time.

Will SB's you tend a develop a bit of a rapport, understand likes and dislikes and with respect both parties tend to please each other. It's more like a GF / BF relationship without strings attached.

With you on the game and to learn to play it efficiently with finding an actual GF or with SBs. Bottom line will be to find someone to go activities with, either playing pool, go bowling, cinema, concert etc. Etc. With the added fun element.

Hope to find someone soon and will update when I have some good news. Thanks again for the golden nuggets.

[Rinkzzz]

Welcome to our world! Once you master the art of Seeking you will be hooked. And yes you have to have money but not tons. The 500-700 will absolutely get you a top quality date in London.

I've attached my soup to nuts guide on the subject. While originally written for USA it really applies.

So how do you do it properly? I suppose this could vary widely depending on what you are after. But I am after a girl who FEELS like a girlfriend. She's affectionate, appreciates an evening above her usual stature in life, and is able to actually enjoy herself with you. She views the allowance / gift (I. E. Money!) as a bonus. Not the only thing she is after. Any girl where I feel money is the primary motivation and she will go with anyone for a high enough price, gets kicked straight to the curb. She's got to be a girlfriend first, and any "benefits" come second.

Knowing that this is the kind of girl I want to attract (and other guys I have talked to also find this persona the most attractive), there is a set of rules you have to play by. Understand that SA is NOT AT ALL like picking up hookers. It is much more like meeting a girl in a bar and seducing her to leave with you. It's just an online bar..

Thank you, Steve 9696.

This is a great Soup to Nuts guide, it is particularly helpful as you given the clear pointers for each step of the process.

I agree that it will take time and once you are in the game it will be the best and that's exactly what I wanted. Also, I'm similar in the girlfriend aspect you mentioned as the time spent should feel natural and not as a transaction. Will take a dive and fingers crossed should find a great companion.

Thanks again for the inputs, much appreciated.

[AlexTheGreat00]

Welcome to our world! Once you master the art of Seeking you will be hooked. And yes you have to have money but not tons. The 500-700 will absolutely get you a top quality date in London.

I've attached my soup to nuts guide on the subject. While originally written for USA it really applies.

So how do you do it properly? I suppose this could vary widely depending on what you are after. But I am after a girl who FEELS like a girlfriend. She's affectionate, appreciates an evening above her usual stature in life, and is able to actually enjoy herself with you. She views the allowance / gift (I. E. Money!) as a bonus. Not the only thing she is after. Any girl where I feel money is the primary motivation and she will go with anyone for a high enough price, gets kicked straight to the curb. She's got to be a girlfriend first, and any "benefits" come second.

Knowing that this is the kind of girl I want to attract (and other guys I have talked to also find this persona the most attractive), there is a set of rules you have to play by. Understand that SA is NOT AT ALL like picking up hookers. It is much more like meeting a girl in a bar and seducing her to leave with you. It's just an online bar. Sure you need money, but you also need some texting game and you need to treat her with respect. If you do, you have a chance of closing the deal. However, the moment you disrespect her, she will be gone...

What a perspective mate!! You really have nailed it. As a former user of SA in USA, I can't tell you how much time and money I wasted but doing the things you are warning us not to do. If only I had this guide and words or wisdom in front of me. But hey there is another start and revival. We all owe you- for coming up with this blueprint of how SA should be used.

[VanessasClient]

Hello all,

As a newbie to seeking I'm confused on how to go about it.

So, a bit of a background, Mid 40's male. London based, have done a fair bit of mongering in many countries in the past but not used seeking ever.

I 'm by no means rich, have a comfortable job and doing ok financially. In my mind to enjoy seeking one needs to be rich (Expensive hotels, food, drinks and the allowance).

Is this correct? Is everyone using seeking fairly wealthy? In London its easy a minimum of 500-700 which I'm comfortable paying once a month, however I'm guessing it's a confidence issue.

Can someone please help and guide with the best approach? I'm really keen on going on SB journey and not into Pros anymore but unable to get started.

Any pointers and tips will be greatly appreciated?

Thanks Rink.

You said "you are not into Pros anymore. " I don't know how you define a "pro", but what specifically about those women bothered you? And, how do you think women from Seeking will be substantially different? You have to give details for me to better understand what you are expecting.

What is it you think most men would prefer, overall? To achieve their goals with women, without paying cash for it, right? Accomplishing a process like that is almost always incredibly complex, and could take half a lifetime for the minority of men who ever do. And even if you don't pay with money, you are almost certainly giving up something else instead, such as your time and energy.

You'll find a variety of girls on Seeking. But the one thing that 99% of them have in common is that they are looking for money. The sex worker standing on the street corner typically only wants money, and only offers sex in return. Some girls on Seeking want more than just money, but they might also offer more than just sex. Where many men get into trouble is that they try to convince themselves it's not prostitution. It is, but it tends to accompany more comprehensive factors than simply mixing sex and money.

So ask yourself, what is it you really want? Do you want a girl to go to a concert with you, or perhaps bake you a cake, or maybe join you for a camping trip a national park? You have to know what you are really looking for. But you also have to know what you might have to go through to get it.

So here's the thing: in most of the world, "dating culture" , or whatever you want to call it, is stacked against men, and favors women. Especially in 2026. I'm sure there are some exceptions like Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, etc. Bottom line: men experience more detrimental effects from remaining single, than women do. Particularly younger and middle aged men. And the stronger male sex drive is one of the main reasons for that.

What I've found from experience in life, is that you can't really "circumvent the system. " The best thing you can hope for is to optimize. Whether on or off Seeking, you're still going to have to play the game, but you have to learn to play it more efficiently. For me, I discovered it's really a matter of finding a suitable woman. Which is not easy. You have to find someone who is open minded, willing to take risks, and more reliable than not. If she is short sighted, dumb, or dishonest, drop her right away and keep looking for another. How much money you spend, all really depends on how well you are able to develop a rapport with a particular woman. Strong connections go a long way. But steer clear of any women who are impatient, manipulative, or despondent. Just to give you a head's up, it's likely that 80% or higher of the women you meet, won't be worth it. And I say 80% minimum; could be higher. If you find a cherry on the first pick, I assure you with unquestionable certainty that is a magic bullet result, and NOT the status quo.

[VanessasClient]

So I meant to buy a 30 day only subscription but somehow it ended up adding an additional 90 days to my account. Anyway, I am browsing seeking in NYC and I am not a fan of the selection. The girls seem uptight and the demands high. Looking at in other countries and cities and the selection seems way more easy going and not as demanding. Also alot of these messages that just go nowhere. Is it worth using in NYC or am I better off using it abroad?

NYC is one of the worst places in the world to look for women, in general.